Not Marriage Material
by pottermommy1118
Summary: This is another story of the marauders and the love lives of the group. This is in no way related to The Legacy Series. It is entirely different. Come with our four favorite Howarts trouble makers into traps, tricks, pranks, classes, quidditch and the scary world of the female mind. Broom closets beware none of you are safe. Rated because I get carried away sometimes...
1. Chapter 1

This story has NO relation to the Legacy series. In fact the characters and their actions are VASTLY different. Do not be surprised.

I was really fighting writer's block on my After the War series and this idea popped into my head. I would like to see it play out!

This is in varying POV though mainly in James'. If it is someone else's I will notate it!

**_Chapter 1_**

**_Blowouts, Buddies, and Back Home_**

_He was so pissed that his head hurt. How in hell could she be mad at him when Snape was the one that bloody called her a mudblood? He hadn't done a damn thing to her ever and she was always mad at him. He couldn't do anything right by her standards. _

Something of his thoughts must have showed on his face because he felt his best friend and brother smack his back affectionately.

"Cheer up mate. Evans is just being a bitch as usual. I don't know what you see in her honestly." Sirius said as he swept his dark hair from his eyes.

James closed his hazel eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

"Sirius," Remus chided. "She isn't a bitch, you two just drive her crazy. And honestly to you really think asking her out in the middle of the only class she has trouble in was the way to go? You have to come up with smoother ways Jamie."

Again James shrugged as if he didn't care. He hoped they thought he didn't care.

"Well I think she is being ridiculous. I mean James practically has his own fan club. He can get half the girls in the castle and she is this stubborn" Sirius replied as he turned to watch two particularly pretty girls walk down the hall.

"Hey beautiful, I don't have detention yet tonight, how about we meet in a broom closet…Say 8, on the 4th floor?" he called, smiling as the one with short blonde hair giggled and nodded her head.

"Was that even the one you were talking to?" Peter asked in a quiet voice.

Sirius shrugged and continued his lazy walk towards Charms.

"Sure, whichever one shows up, doesn't matter to me."

James and Peter rolled their eyes and Remus glared at him from the side.

"You are terrible, you know that right."

"It isn't like it matters. I am 16 they don't want to marry me Remy, they want to snog me. I know it they know it. Does anyone actually thing that I Sirius Black want to be in a relationship that takes longer than a detention? Who has that much time?" Sirius replied as he turned into Flitwick's corridor.

The three remaining marauders said nothing, though James looked quite thoughtful behind his glasses.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Lily's POV**

That evening the common room was crazy. Today had been the last lessons of their 5th year and everyone was overly hyper. Even Remus Lupin was bouncing around like he had been given a silly solution, everyone that was except a certain messy haired menace.

Lily frowned as she watched him stand up and walk away from his friends and towards her. She could feel her blood starting to boil just as she could see his friends watching him, shaking their heads morosely. Merlin didn't he get sick of this, was he put on this planet to torture her?

He walked up to her table and opened his mouth to speak after running his hand through that dreadful head of tangled hair. Before he could speak Lily lost her temper.

"Seriously Potter? Can we stop this please? I am so sick of this stupid game. I am tired of hearing the question, I am tired of saying no. I am tired of dealing with you. You are nothing to me, you never ever will be. You are nothing but a stupid, immature, little boy and I want nothing, get that, nothing to do with you. Do you know how many times I have said this?

Leave me ALONE! Forever! Don't talk to me, don't ask me out, don't help me, just stay the bloody hell out of my life!" She yelled as she stood up.

She noticed the look of shock on his face. Her best friend Alice's face was a mirror image of his. They both seemed stunned. Though they had to see this coming, he was obsessive. In the silent seconds following her outburst she glanced at his friends. Peter's mouth was dropped onto his chubby chest, Remus had laid his head on the back of the sofa and he was gently shaking it back and forth, Sirius looked ready to kill. She actually cringed at his expression.

At least twenty seconds had passed before James spoke the words he had come over to say, though she had never heard him speak in that tone of voice. It was almost dead, as if he was fighting to hold back his emotions.

"Allie, my mum sent word with Shadow that you are coming to my house off the train. Our parents will be on a mission and you are staying at my house. I was told to let you know since your mum and dad had to leave suddenly without telling you."

He looked quickly at Lily and turned and walked away before turning around briefly with a look that froze her on the spot.

"And yes I do know, 117 times, thank you for the reminder."

Alice looked up at her friend wide eyed and Lily felt embarrassed and ashamed of her outburst immediately.

"Potter…. James! Wait" she called as she watched him turn and disappear through the portrait hole.

She sat back down, her head dropping into her hands as she heard Sirius jump off the chair he was in and rush out of the common room yelling for his best friend. She could feel someone standing over her and she looked up at Remus.

He was and had always been her friend. He had always tried to get James to leave her alone. They did prefect patrol together. They did homework together. And he was leveling her with a look that was unmistakably disappointment.

"I will not be doing patrol tonight. I will send someone in my place." He said coldly before grabbing Peter by the scruff of his neck and dragging him after Sirius Black.

She jumped up and ran out of the room, vaguely aware of her own best friend's presence behind her as she slumped onto the side of her bed.

"Lils…" Alice said reproachfully.

"I know," she replied without lifting her head. "I just, I mean, he is always bugging me! He is so arrogant! He can't leave me alone. How was I supposed to know he was coming over to talk to you and not to ask me out? When does he not ask me out?"

"Well, my friend or not, right now you sound arrogant Lily Elise Evans. James has been my friend since I was born. For Merlin's sake there are pictures of us in the bath together. He talks to me all the time. I listen to you treat him like crap, all the time. I stick up for you and I, never, NEVER say a word about it. But that was uncalled for." Alice replied flipping her long blonde curls out of her face and sitting down on the bed opposite Lily.

"I know, I tried to apologize but he wouldn't come back." She moaned.

"I wouldn't have either." Was Alice's honest reply. "Come on, let's go to dinner. He will be there. Merlin knows that boy never misses a meal."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**Sirius' POV **

He was in shock. James was missing a meal, an entire meal. They had looked everywhere but in a castle this size there was no way to find him. Damn it if they had only perfected the map already. They had been working on it for a while but they still hadn't figured out how to track everyone, or to make it retain their memories. So far they had the entire castle, all of the passages, and there were a ton of footprints walking about but no one knew who the prints belonged to.

James never missed meals, no matter what. He had even snuck out of Pommy's hospital wing to make it to dinner once. Stupid Lily, he couldn't understand what he saw in her. Sure she was pretty, really pretty but there were tons of pretty girls at Hogwarts. This was getting ridiculous.

OoOoOoOoOoO

**Still Sirius' POV**

"James, please, just…" Lily was cut off as the door to the compartment slid shut in front of her face with a snap.

Remus looked up quickly when he heard the snap of the lock and frowned at the sight of Lily through the glass…

"James…" He started before Sirius cut in.

"No, Rem, just no." he said with a firm look at their friend.

This was the first they had really seen James since last night. He hadn't come back to the dorm and he had only met up with them right before they left out of the castle. It was a huge show of trust that he had known his three friends would pack his trunk for him. He smiled half heartedly at the sleepy face of his best friend.

"Are you ready to go back home?" he asked.

James pulled his shoulders up in a shrug.

"No one is going to be there but Allie and I… Well and the house elves but that is pretty much it, unless y'all come over I am not looking forward to much. What about you?" He mumbled, obviously trying to keep the subject away from why he had been absent for the last 12 hours.

"Prongsie, you are spending your break alone in a big house with a girl…A hot girl…A single, hot, girl! Alone, all alone, I think you should think on the bright side of this situation. At least you aren't coming to my house. My dear mum is out for my blood after we got Lucious and Reg suspended. I may not live to see tomorrow. This is going to suck." Sirius replied as he laid his head back against the cool leather.

"First off, that is Alice you are talking about. That is gross, and her older brothers Fabian and Gideon might kill me if I mess with her.

Secondly, maybe you can sneak away and come to my house. I don't know how long it will be just the two of us. How about you Rem?" James said silently hoping his best friend wouldn't end up bruised this summer.

Remus shrugged, his shaggy blonde hair falling into his stormy gray eyes.

"I don't know, Da will be there, I guess that is good. I don't know if I will get to see maman or not. She hasn't come around much these last few years." He said guiltily while looking out of the window at the falling rain.

Sirius knew that Remus felt guilty for his mother leaving his father and him. He felt like it was his fault, the werewolf had forced her to a new life and away from the horrors in her old one. France was not the place Remus thought of as home anymore.

"Er….Pete, that just leaves you." Sirius said trying to awkwardly get the subject away from his friend's pain.

"I think we are going on a family vacation….Somewhere in the north. Just what I wanted, to spend the summer in the cold." The small boy replied bitterly.

oOoOoOoO

After realizing that all of their summers looked pretty dismal the rest of the train ride passed in a quiet manner, with Peter actually battling hard in a chess match against Sirius, Remus doing what Remus did, reading a book, and James staring quietly out of the fuggy window.

It didn't take long before they had pulled up at the platform and the four boys were pulling their trunks off of the racks, and heading off the train back into their separate homes.


	2. Chapter 2: Worlds Apart

**_Sorry to excite anyone I found a major error in this and had to change it. Sorry!_**

Chapter 2

**Worlds Apart as Summer Break Starts**

**Peter's POV**

It felt like it had been months since they got off the train but alas it had only been two weeks. His days felt so long here without anyone to talk to. Granted he didn't talk as much as the other guys did but at least he had someone to listen to.

He sat pondering their friendship as he stared out towards the green acres in front him. The Netherlands were not as fun as his Gram and Pa seemed to think they were.

He could easily see where Remus, Sirius and James fit into their little group. They all offered something different. Of course they were all extremely charismatic. People would listen to those three tell a weather report every five minutes. He was definitely not charismatic. He did not like talking to people. They often spoke to him like he was stupid, or they talked down to him like he didn't matter enough. Come to think of it, even his friends did that.

Remus was quiet and smart. But it was more than being smart. James and Sirius were plenty smart themselves. They did not need Remus to tell them answers or even to really copy notes from. But Rem was logical and he was the cool headed one. He was the one that kept them from getting in trouble more than they already did. He came up with the spur of the moment excuses and he kept Sirius reigned in.

Sirius, well Sirius was slightly crazy. He had definite control issues and when he was mad he had a mean streak. Peter had fallen to that streak a few times. He was certain that if it weren't for Remus and James that Sirius wouldn't have anything to do with him at all, whether they shared a dorm or not.

And then there was James. He was something that Pete had never really experienced before. He was popular, with everyone, not just Gryffindors. He was nice to everyone but Slytherins and he was caring. He truly cared if you were hurt or upset or sad.

Even when Sirius had almost gotten Snape killed last year by tricking him into finding Remus as a fully grown wolf. James had cared that Snape was going to get hurt. Well he assumed it was Snape he was worried about. He may have just been worried about how Remus would have felt had he killed someone, or maybe he was just worried they would get caught in their animagus forms. But he saved him, that is what really mattered right?

No matter which way you cut it, Pete missed his friends. He was lonely here with his grandparents and aunts and uncles. His mum and dad had stayed home with his sister as usual. They hadn't felt the same for him as they had for her since she got damaged. They blamed him, he knew that they did, though he didn't see how they could. It wasn't as if it was intentional.

Pete had a sister, a twin sister. When they were four they were playing with their parents wands. They had snuck them out of the house. Somehow he had managed to hex her, terribly. Since then she was severely disabled and her mind had been crushed. She was often in a state of coma and never spoke again. He barely remembered what it was to have a real sister.

After that he was often sent out to his grandparents. He rarely was at his house with his parents. In fact he hadn't seen them since his third year at this point. His friends did not know the truth about Pricilla, he didn't want them to know. He was scared of the day when they would finally find out.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

**Remus' POV**

He could not believe it had only been two weeks since term let out. He missed his friends, he missed the castle. He was no longer the shy little boy he once was when they first rode that train almost 6 years ago. He still couldn't believe he had been given the chance to be in this school. He had been supposed to go to Beuboxans. It was the premier magical school in France. But of course his condition had kept him from going to any magic school. But them Dumbledore came, and he gave him the opportunity he had craved.

And much to Remus' surprise he flourished when surrounded with friends, excitement and adventure. Who knew that a couple of dunderheads for dorm mates could change your life so drastically. But they had. His life was so different now than he had ever imagined it could be.

But home, it was awful. It reminded him of years of torment and loneliness. It reminded him of pain and sadness and loss. It was in this house him mother had told him and his father that she was leaving. Not only was she leaving but she was leaving Remus. She had said that she needed a new life, a life away from magic but he knew better. She needed a life away from the werewolf, the half human half monster child that she felt obligated to love. She just couldn't do it anymore. He didn't blame her, he couldn't have done it either.

"Remus!" Came a shout that surprised him from his musings.

He sighed and walked down the old stairs. His house was small. Only two bedrooms and it was not very well kept. He tried to do what he could when he was home from breaks but that was not enough to keep the place in good repair. His father just let things go. The banister was broken and the stovetop smelled when you turned it on. The carpet was threadbare and altogether missing in some places. The one wall where Remus used to get measured when he was little was chipped and hadn't been updated since he was five years old. Though you could still see the faint dagger made marks on the door frame.

"Hey, I didn't expect you home this soon." He said as he rounded the corner into the sitting room.

His father smiled a weak smile and nodded his head.

"Well, I wanted to see you as you've only just gotten home and I haven't seen much of you. Have you gotten your OWLS back yet?"

"No, not yet, maybe in a week or so. Maman est-elle comming pour nous voir cet été ?" He replied in a quiet voice.

His father looked at him solemnly. His son rarely spoke in French anymore, only when he was upset or worried. He ran his hand through his gray hair. Remus watched as he furrowed his bushy unkept eyebrows.

"No, you know she prefers to write letters Remus. She isn't a visiting kind of person."

"Cet a été presque trois papa d'ans. Nous sommes au-delà d'une visite." The young man practically whispered. "I am sorry, it is my fault. I just can't fix it if she won't come around."

The prematurely aged man sighed and sat on the step by his son's feet.

"It isn't your fault. It is mine. I did it. She knows it. She loves you son, it is me she hates."

Remus felt the breath woosh out of himself in a huff.

"Sure, mothers who love their sons don't leave. I am not her son anymore I know that, I am disgusting. I am not stupid. I see the way you look at me right before the moon. You are disgusted too. I don't see how it is supposed to be your fault. I am the one that was playing out in the yard after maman begged me not to. You'll see, I am smarter than I look, wait till my OWLS come in."

"Remus, please, there are some things you just are not old enough yet to understand. There were things about that night that you don't remember. Things you aren't old enough to know." John said firmly. "And about your OWLS, I won't be here to see them, I actually won't be back for the rest of the break after tonight."

Remus looked at his father for a long minute.

"First if I am old enough to stay alone for the summer I think I am old enough to know what happened to turn me into this monster of a person. Tell me what makes you so sure this is your fault father." He spat back, he had long since stopped reigning in his temper for his father. After all he never pulled back his own with him, or his mother for that matter.

"Remus John, do not use that tone with me boy. How was I to know he was actually going to come after you? I thought it was an empty threat, your precious maman did too or else we wouldn't be here, it wasn't my fault alone. She left because she couldn't deal with her own guilt as much a she couldn't look at mine."

The blonde hair fell directly into his deep gray eyes. He gaped at his father for what seemed an eternity before stuttering out the words he could find.

"You…You….You knew. You both knew? And you didn't stop him? You didn't try?"

"We couldn't do a damn thing, besides I have said I thought he was bluffing, how was I to know he was serious? We are not talking about this I told you I am not ready for this, you are not ready for this. We need to discuss the rest of the summer." John Lupin said in a voice that said this line of conversation was over.

His son however, did not agree.

"Well I think I am ready. And what the hell am I supposed to do about the full moon? You can't leave me here by myself for that."

" You are being melodramatic. And you are going to be in the cellar for the moon like always. But I am going to take you down in a few hours and I have already placed food and drink in there, the moon is in three days time, you will be fine for three days, it is cool down there. Pick out the books and things you want to take I am going to bewitch the door to open back up the morning after. We don't have too much time though, Melodrie is going to be here by 7 tonight and she doesn't know I have a son yet…Much less about the er…disease and all."

Remus didn't know what to say, he didn't know if he was more hurt or angry. But anger was winning in the tides of emotion coursing through him. All he could do was stare at his father in disbelief. This could not be the same man that used to spin him in circles around the yard. Or the man that took him trick or treating.

"Je ne peux pas vous croire." He said before striding angrily up to his room.

oOoOoOoO

It was nearly two hours later after beating on his son's door for 15 minutes that John Lupin discovered that his son was gone.

oOoOoOoOoO

**Sirius's POV**

He hurt. He hurt all over. His insides had a permanent (or so it seemed) stinging to them. He had been put through the cruciatus curse at least 3 times a day since coming home by his father. He was using him to teach his brother how to properly administer pain. Reg seemed to be enjoying the payback that he felt Sirius had coming to him.

He had known this was coming, after all he was instrumental in the suspension of Lucius and Regulus. Lucius may not be a Black but he was marrying Narcissa and he was of the purest blood you could find. Therefore, he was to be respected, admired, and not turned in for hexing random Hufflepuffs.

He had now spent 10 days being tortured over and over and over. His mum, being so disgusted with his "abominable" hair used a cutting hex on it and did not seem to mind as it sliced into his neck and shoulders as well as severing his sleek black curls.

All in all, he was a mess. And he couldn't do a damn thing about it because they had locked his wand into his trunk and he had no access to it. So far he had eaten only cold soups and soggy bread for meals, although today might be on the up. His parents were having a dinner party tonight. This was the only reason he had no facial bruises he suspected. He was expected to attend. He was starving. And, he had a plan to get out of this house. He flinched as he heard his mother call for him from the grand room. But he followed her voice anyways.

"Yes ma'am" he said quietly, head bowed.

"Come over here and let me fix that mop you are calling a head." She growled.

He gulped and his face blanched.

"Uhm, you already cut it remember?" he said hopefully.

"Did I ask for your nonsense? It is uneven and needs to be proper get over here now." She barked.

He scowled at his younger brother who was snickering from the arm chair nearby. He had a recently "shaped up head". He couldn't stop the grimaces and the jerks as he felt her wand and hands touch him. He could not remember ever feeling and kindness from either one.

"There, now you need to wear the high collared green robes. They will cover the nicks from your last hair cut." She said coldly pushing him up from the stool.

His knees wobbled under him as he stood. After all your bones could only handle imaginary fire so many times before they started to believe it was true. He had nearly made it out into the hallway when he felt them buckle and it was immediately followed by his father's shout and his own agonizing screams as he was stabbed and sliced by hundreds of invisible knives.

"Sirius Orion Black, you show no weakness! How in Merlin's name will I ever be able to call you, this simpering piece of filth my son? Regulus come get this trash to his room."

He may have been mistaken but he almost thought he saw a look of sorrow on his brother's face as he pulled him to a standing position. It had to be a trick of the light though. That or he was upset about touching him.

"Let me go. I do not want or need help from you." Sirius growled as he limped off.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Did you hear? That Voldemort has sure gotten his regime started. He knows how it is supposed to be, purity of blood all of the way. There are several old families backing him. We are waiting to be given the opportunity."

The other guests nodded dumbly at Elder Black. He was after all one of the richest purebloods left.

"Yes, yes I completely agree, I have been speaking to Elder Potter about this very subject. He is…resistant to the idea but I think we can sway him if we try."

"Elder Potter? As in Charles Potter?" Sirius said happily piping up, ignoring the glares from his mother and father. After all children in the Black family were to be seen and not heard.

"Why yes son, the very one." Elder Avery said nodding his head.

"He is the father of my friend James. They asked me to come over and spend next week with them. I am certain that I can mention it to them while I am there." He said eagerly.

All of the men in the room laughed at the precocious teen.

"Well son, you sure can try but if we aren't able to convince him so easily I doubt a 16 year old will be able to. Although friends with the Potters is a great place of power, I bet you are very pleased with your son, aren't you?" a blonde headed wizard said to Sirius' father.

"Aye yes we certainly are. Our son is an amazing young wizard. We are truly looking forward to watching him grow in the purest of ways. Sirius here will be leaving later tomorrow in fact. He may not be seen for the rest of the summer. He is going to be abroad with our extended family."

While all of the other partygoers missed the fact that Sirius was not the son they were speaking of Sirius understood completely. He also understood that abroad meant beaten to a pulp in his bedroom.

oOoOoOoOoO

On his knees with his face on the stairs he could feel the blood seeping down his neck. They were not imaginary cuts anymore. His father had used slicing charms on his skin. It had been three days since the dinner party and Sirius found himself slipping in and out of consciousness. He vaguely thought he heard his brother speaking from very far away.

"Father, father listen. If he doesn't go to the Potter's and one of the other Elders mention it to Mr. Potter than it is not going to look good for the family. It will look like Sirius lied about being well connected."

"You may be right Regulus. I will think about it. Find Kreacher to take him to his room while I decide what to do with him."

"Yes sir."

He heard the heavy footfalls walking away and thought he felt Regulus dragging him along beside of him.

"Sirius I need you to look at me. I am putting you through to James' I will take your stuff through. You have got to get out at the right grate alright."

he felt was the floor slam into his face. And all went black.

oOoOoOoOoO

**_What Remus said (roughly)_**

**_1- _****_Is mother coming this summer?_**

**_2- _****_It has been almost three years, I think we are way past a simple visit dad_**

**_3- _****_I cannot believe you_**


	3. Chapter 3: Trustworthy

**_Yay for three reviewers! _**

Chapter 3

**Trustworthy **

**James' POV**

He watched as the sunlight rippled of the small waves in the pool. Every time the water calmed he kicked a foot to stir it back up.

"Hey gorgeous, you look deep in thought" came Alice's voice from behind him. He smiled and shrugged at her as she wandered over to sit beside him.

"So are you going to tell me what is going through that messy head of yours or are you going to make the only girl that truly loves you to pieces guess?"

"Just the same old stuff Al." he muttered before laying back onto his elbows.

"Oh, I see, I see Lily stuff. I swear you aren't capable of thinking of anyone else." She said before flipping her ponytail and rolling her eyes.

"I can too think of other people. I think about Sirius and Remus and Pete all the time." He argued, and then felt himself blush as she raised her eyebrows seductively at him.

"Well, well, the truth comes out. It's no wonder we make such good friends you think Sirius is cute too? Tell me how are his abs with out a shirt? So all this Lily-mindedness was just a ploy? I am glad to know, I was getting a complex."

"A complex huh? I wouldn't worry too much. You are more than stunning in that two piece Little Miss Gryffindor and for the record my abs are way better than Siri's."

She giggled at his response.

"Egh, I guess you have an alight tummy. I've seen better." Alice joked before feeling herself being pushed into the water. "James Charles Potter I swear I am going to hurt you." She growled as she swam up to his knees.

"In all seriousness Allie…Why have we never dated? I mean, it isn't like we haven't had the opportunity."

She seemed to seriously think about the question before answering.

"Well, you were a gross boy until about third year, and then you have been obsessed with my best friend since first year…And honestly I don't think either of us have really ever thought about us that way. Do you know what I mean?"

He nodded his head thoughtfully in response.

"Yeah, though I think saying I was obsessed is a bit much."

He watched her as she floated onto her back and called back lazily to him.

"Why do you ask?"

"No reason, it was just something Sirius said to me, and I was thinking how insane it is that our parents trust us home alone together... I mean we are 16 and you would think they would worry about us." he watched as she floated over to his knees and felt her grab them for support.

"Should they worry?" she asked as he sat back up to look at her upturned sun-kissed face, his mouth went dry but he took hold of his marauder nerve and slipped into the pool right in front of her.

They were so close their bare stomachs were touching. He pushed the dripping tendrils out of her face.

"I dunno, right now they probably might should worry."

He was glad when she leaned forward towards him first. He had a lot of experience with getting smacked for going in for a kiss. Of course he had only really tried to kiss Lily before now so he didn't have much to go on. He met her half way and felt her squeeze his shoulder as their lips met for the first time.

It was a gentle, nervous, tentative kiss and they both pulled away and looked at each other with a slightly dazed smirk on their face. James wasn't sure what to say so he just wiped a droplet of water off her face. He hands seemed to be in the way. He didn't know where to put them. He had limited numbers of options right now.

"Yes, uhm, yes, Jamie, they might should worry a little bit." She stuttered before putting her hand on the back of her head and forcing his lips back down to hers.

It didn't take much effort he went willingly. He was surprised when he noticed his arm around her waist, his hand resting on the, very bare, small of her back. His other hand was gripping her knee pulling her higher up to a more easily accessible position. These kisses were much less chaste and did not break apart for several minutes.

He released her from his hold as he pulled back, grinning as both of them gasped for air. Neither seemed certain of what to say but Alice broke the nervous tension easily by taking his momentary shock and dunking him under the water. Causing certainly not the first water fight between the two but it was definitely the first sexually charged water fight they had ever had. It gave it a whole new light.

OoOoOoOoO

James was laying in his bed late that night when he heard his door open slightly and a small whisper sounded through his room.

"James? Are you asleep?" she asked.

He chuckled at his long-time friend.

"Well if I was I am not now." He teased as she walked over and stood next to the bed.

"Can I sit down?" she said with a nervous edge.

He cocked his head questioningly though he knew she couldn't see it in the dark.

"Since when do you ask if you can sit on my bed? You have slept in here before for Merlin's sake."

He felt the bed sink as she sat beside him and curled so she was wrapping her arms around her knees.

"Did we do something stupid today?" she said softly, obviously afraid to ask.

In fact he was certain if there was anyone else in this house she would have been talking to them about it instead of him.

He tugged her arms free from her legs and pulled her to lay beside him.

"I don't think so. I mean you will always and forever be my friend, nothing that happened could change that Allie. Nothing at all. Do you think we made a mistake?"

It took her a second to respond.

"No, not really. I guess I just know how you feel about Lils and I know that we are great friends and our parents are friends and I don't know that either of us could ever be in a serious relationship with each other. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want you to get hurt either."

"First, I feel no way about Lily. I had a crush on her. That is it. She has been completely open with how she feels towards me, that chapter is done. Now, do you want to be in a serious relationship?" he asked confused.

"James, that is a very loaded question."

"No, it's not, really. Just be honest. Here's the thing, I will not hurt you Alice. If you don't want to do that again, great, we won't no big deal. If you do want to do that again, GREAT, no pushing no strings. Unless you want strings I guess. The thing is that first and foremost you are one of my very best friends. You are certainly my longest friend. I will do what you want because I refuse to hurt or lose you. End of story. I won't be hurt either way. Now, do you want a relationship?"

He smiled as he felt her fingers twirling the hair on the top of his head, she had played with his hair since they were small.

"Well, I did enjoy this afternoon. Probably more than I should have to be honest. But I do not think I want a serious relationship, but I really, really want to stay friends. And I really think I want to do that again." She replied.

He could hear the embarrassment in her voice and could almost imagine the color of red on her cheeks. He was glad she did not want an actual relationship, he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

"Well I think we can effectively make all of those things happen. I am after all, always willing to help out a friend." He joked before planting a kiss on her nose. "Willing I may be, but stupid I am not, and I am not certain that snogging in my bed in bed clothes, in a house alone is the smartest thing to be doing." He said as their lips were inches apart.

"Well, I think I have enough control for the both of us." She answered before pulling him into another scorching kiss.

oOoOoOoO

It had been several days and a couple of kisses later that found James sitting in a chair in the den and Alice straddling his lap kissing him. Neither of them were certain on how this whole newfound game was going to work once they were around other people but for now…They weren't worried about it. They were both having fun, and who better to have fun with than one of your very best friends?

They were enthralled in a deep kiss when they heard the sounds of the fireplace roaring to life and James caught a semi familiar voice.

"Oi, prat, help me over here!" Regulus yelled from the floor about ten feet away.

James' eyes got huge once he stood up and saw a bloodied, unconscious Sirius laying at the feet of his brother.

"What the hell happened to him?" he shouted.

The younger boy flinched at the anger in his voice.

"A lot, just, just fix him alright. And don't send him back this summer, at all. It won't be good if you do." The nervous looking Slytherin said as he rushed back into the fire and disappeared.

"Alice. Go get my school bag, it's in my trunk in my room. And get Boppy to come get his stuff. He knows where to take it."

It did not take her long to get back with the bad and for him to extract the enchanted parchment he needed from it. Alice watched over Sirius while James spoke directly to the parchment. Alice knew that his mother always carried hers with her even while at the hospital she had it on her, just as surely as she had it now. Her son always came first even in war, he came first.

"Mum, I need you, Sirius needs you. Please, he is barely breathing, please can you come home, or send help. Anything, please hurry. I can't take him to the hospital, please mum."

The pleading was evident in his voice. His fear was blatant on his face as he threw the unfurled roll across the floor and pulled his friend into his arms.

"Please wake up Siri. Come on pads, wake up." He begged, barely noticing as the fire once again turned green and his mother rushed through.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

Sirius was sleeping in the bed in what had been "his room" for the last 3 years. Madeline Potter had healed him the best she could, though most if not all of his injuries had been caused by dark magic and the bruises and cuts would take a while to heal. She had mended his cracked ribs and knocked him completely out with pain potions. She had just finished writing out instructions for James to follow to keep his friend safe and healthy when she turned to speak to him.

He was standing by the doorway, looking terrified. Alice was standing beside him with her face buried in the side of his chest, tears streaming down her face still. This had been a big shock to them both.

"I have to get back to the mobile hospital. I can not stay. But I will be back tomorrow night to check on him. Just call if you need me."

She took a second look at the two teens standing in front of her. Both had looked up at her as she spoke. Taking particular notice of the fact that they were both in swimwear and that her son's fingers were tracing a pattern on the bare side of one Miss Alice Prewitt, she looked at them both with raised eyebrows. They seemed to realize what they were doing and immediately stepped apart, identical blushes instantly appearing on their faces.

"On second thought, James I am sending your older cousin Frank to stay over here with you three. I think…Given recent events that you three may need supervision. Alice, your mum told me to tell you she loves you and misses you. And both of you…Do behave." She warned before walking back downstairs. "Alice watch Sirius for me for a minute while Jamie helps me to the fire."

James glanced over at the beet red girl and followed his mother out of the room and down the spiral staircase. She did not speak until they were in front of the fire.

"James?"

"Yes, Ma'am" he replied, looking at his bare feet.

"Please use that head of yours and be sensible for me." She said firmly.

He nodded.

"I am mum."

"You aren't son…Lily?"

"Is nothing, we have never been anything, she is just…WAS just an infatuation, not anymore. And Alice is just my friend, like always." He replied quickly. "Do we have to talk about this? Can't you send Dad?"

"Yes we have to talk about this, and no I can't send dad, he is busy. And that looked anything but "like always", either way, Frank will be here soon. Don't argue. And behave and listen. He is already an auror he can arrest you."

James laughed at his mother's dramatics before kissing her and watching her disappear.

oOoOoO

It was maybe five minutes later when he walked through Sirius' door wearing a white Tshirt pulled on with his swim shorts. Alice looked at him suspiciously he grinned.

"Apparently we are no longer trusted…"


	4. Chapter 4: Potter Manor is Full Again

**_Yay 7 reviews! Thank you for your support!_**

**_This is pretty much all dialog and is just a filler. These first few chapters are just setting the relationships between them all so…._**

**_I don't think I have much more to say…_**

**_Oh yeah I keep forgetting…_**

**I am not the owner or creator of the HP universe. That is all JK and she is certifiably a genius…A friggen rich one so I will just dilly dally in her fun little world…..**

Chapter 4

**Potter Manor is Full Again**

Sirius was sitting gingerly on the edge of James' bed pulling at his ridiculously short hair.

"Are you sure you can't use a spell to make it grow back faster?" he whined as James was thumbing through.

"I am looking mate, she cursed it so you couldn't regrow it with magic, you might just have to wait for it to grow out." James muttered in response

"WHAT! I am DOOMED! DOOMED! The birds only like me because of my hair!" he wailed, dropping his brilliantly bruised face into his hands.

James chuckled at his best friend's dramatics.

"Sirius I am certain they much prefer your snogging ability to your hair, I do live in the girls dorm…They talk, I think you will fare just fine." Alice said walking into the room and sitting down on the floor beside James. "And Mr. Potter. You could have warned a girl that the "Cousin Frank" that was coming over was the freaking amazingly gorgeous head boy of Hogwarts two years ago. The one that I nearly fell over myself everytime he spoke to me."

James looked at her with a scowl on his face.

"Oh I am sorry, I didn't realize that you wanted a formal introduction. I wasn't aware that my cousin registered on your gorgeous guy radar." James replied sulkily.

She glanced at him with mild concern and confusion blatant on her face.

"I'm just saying some warning not to walk into the kitchen in your boxer shorts this morning would have been nice."

The drink of juice that Sirius just took was sprayed all over the floor.

"Excuse me! *cough* You were in James' boxers? *cough* AM I missing something here? Since when is it normal to be in James' boxers?"

Alice blushed furiously realizing her error and James smirked and started playing with his hands.

"Uhm, erm, well I am going to go…I uhm…Lily is coming tomorrow and I want to get ready for her."

It was now James' turn to splatter the floor with his breakfast drink.

"What! Lily…As in Lily Evans…THE Lily…Coming to my house…Tomorrow…WHAT!" he spluttered.

"Uhm, I do not believe this is the topic we were discussing." Sirius said standing up and placing his hands on his hips.

Both boys turned and stared at Alice.

"Right well, as is happens… Lily is going to come stay here with me for a few days so I am not outnumbered and then I am going to go to her place for the rest of the summer. I thought, given uhm…Everything…that it would probably be the best thing, and I didn't think you would mind to terribly James. You seem to like her, so it will be good." Alice said hiding behind her blonde curls while backing up towards the exit.

"I seem to like her…Seem to like her…Are you bloody INSANE?"

"HELLO! WHY WERE YOU IN HIS BOXERS? Are you two shagging?"

"NO you bloody prat." James said at the same time Alice replied.

"No we were just snogging, and I may have seen him in his boxers a bit. And I may have needed them suddenly, no BIG deal."

She continued to get closer to the entrance.

"IT IS SO A BIG DEAL!" Sirius shouted as James glared at Alice.

"Ok, so again going to go get ready for Lily now…" she said as she turned and booked it out of the room.

James felt himself be jerked in a circle, and found himself face to face with Sirius, grinning like a lunatic.

"Spill, now!"

oOoOoOoO

It was midday and the four teens were at the poolside. Sirius was starting to get back up to his old tricks and was definitely on the mend. He was only sporting a few bruises and a brutally short haircut. No matter what they tried even Frank could not make it grow back with magic, he was going to have to tough it out and grow it the muggle way.

"Er, Lils, why are you staring at Sirius Black?" Alice asked as she followed her friends line of sight.

"I never realized that he had such a nice stomach." She said in disbelief.

"Phah…Him nice stomach? My abs are nicer than his anyday of the week. Ask Allie, she agrees." James scoffed as he walked by the two girls and sat on the side of the pool.

Lily looked over at Alice as If to ask "So do you really think that?"

"Sadly yes, James' abs are better than Sirius'." Alice said, regretting it almost immediately.

"Whhhaaaaattttt?!" Sirius screamed from inside the pool. "His abs are so not better than mine! And thanks for the compliment Lils"

Both girls rolled their eyes.

"Well I wouldn't know, I can honestly say I have never seen James without a shirt. Thank Merlin. And it wasn't a compliment it was pure shock and don't call me Lils!" Lily called to Sirius.

Sirius lifted himself out of the pool and sat by his best friend, who was looking at Lily with a glare of indignation, shock, and confusion.

"How have you never seen him shirtless? He takes it off after EVERY single quidditch match."

"I have never been to a match. I hate to fly." She said simply.

James' mouth dropped onto his chest and Sirius fell backwards back into the pool. They waited until Sirius had made his appearance back on the cobblestone to finish their conversation.

"You hate to fly?" James said weekly.

Lily nodded.

"Yup, it is awful. I hate everything about it."

"No it isn't you are just scared." Sirius replied.

Lily stuck out her tongue. James blushed a bit, it was still hard to fathom that he was talking to Lily Evans, who he might add was in a very small bikini and was beautiful with the sun shining off her scarlet hair.

"SO, just because I am scared doesn't mean that I like it I am just scared of it. I don't like it, I just don't" she retorted.

"Let Jamesie take you out. He is a great flyer. Besides, he would raher die than let Lily Evans fall off his broom." Sirius said with a smile.

James turned red and glared at his supposed best mate.

"Oh Merlin Sirius. Shut up before you make his head bigger than it is." She sighed.

She was surprised mid-breath by James' glare and him abruptly standing up and ripping off his shirt before jumping into the pool. She watched his swim a few lengths before Sirius started to speak in a low voice.

"He doesn't have a big head Lily. He just knows what he is good at, and flying is one of them. Honestly if it weren't for this war he would try out for a quidditch team instead of the aurors. He is really good at flying and he knows it, just like you know that you are better than any of us at our school work. It isn't a crime to know you are good at something, or to appreciate the fact that other people agree. You are too hard on him. And yes Alice I am aware that he has better abs than me, stupid bloody, practices all the time prat that he is."

And with that he jumped into the pool onto James as he swam by oblivious, starting a water fight of monsterous proportions that sent both girls back peddling away from the side of the pool. Alice was laughing and Lily was watching the two of them warily as James pulled himself up to sit on the dive. Alice caught her watching.

"He really isn't bad Lils. Sirius is right. And you really can't fault him for being confident about his flying, for Merlin's sakes he made the team at 12 years old. And to be fair, you can't be mad at him for showing off for girls either. I mean the boy has got a nice body, I mean….Well there isn't anything else to say about that."

She watched Lily fidget and turn a bit pink.

"Mmmmhmmmm, I guess I can agree on the physique. I can at least see why you go to quidditch matches now. And why every efffing girl in the castle throws herself at him. He is still a prat though. I mean honestly even looking like that, would you snog him? I mean come on" She said looking at her friend who was now turning very red.

"Uhm, Er, I mean. That isn't a fair question. We have known each other for a really long time and. I mean to say." Alice stuttered.

Lily looked at her baffled before the object of their conversation came to her rescue. He ran over sopping wet and scooped Alice off the ground. She squealed and giggled.

"Come on you little smidget, into the pool with you!" he said with a laugh before running and cannonballing into the pool with Alice still in his arms.

**Lily POV**

She watched as Alice was pulled up from the bottom of the pool in James' arms. How had she never noticed his arms before? Oh well it didn't matter, she was never going to be caught dead with Potter.

She laid back and to her horror found herself imagining how his arms felt around her instead. Stupid Alice, why did she have to go and put these thoughts into her head?

She was startled out of her very uncomfortable thoughts by the door on the sunroom slamming and heavy footfalls headed their way. She opened her eyes and could just see the blurry outline of Remus Lupin standing the dazzling sun.

**Remus' POV**

"Er… Hey Lily I didn't know you were going to be here." He said, startled, while looking down at the sun kissed red head.

How James was not going out of his mind with Lily Evans running around in that little white bikini he had no idea. She was enough to make his own mouth run dry let alone James'.

Sirius chose that moment to run up and shake water all over both of them.

"Aggghhh, jeese, Black, you are like a dog, honestly." She yelled as she wiped the water from her face.

"Well, if you are already wet, I mean to say." He said through laughter while he grabbed her, threw her over his shoulder and ran to the pool with Lily kicking and screaming the whole way.

Remus walked closer and saw James in the pool with Alice clinging to his back, she herself was stunning in a little red piece of fabric. He reached his hand out to a spluttering Lily as she reached the side of the pool and pulled her out. He laughed and grabbed a towel for her as she glared at Sirius. She took the towel and leaned into Remus' shoulder.

"I am glad one of your group is civil." She growled as she started to towel dry her hair.

He looked nervously over at James to see how he was going to react to Lily using him as a support beam. Surprisingly James seemed to distracted with Alice to notice much about Lily. Or else he was faking it better than Remus ever knew he could.

"I swear you kids multiply everytime I leave the house!" A familiar voice said from behind him.

The young blonde turned to see who was talking. Frank Longbottom stood smiling.

"Frank! It has been a few years. How are you? Sorry about just dropping in. I thought Jamie was going to be here alone. I didn't realize there would be a houseful already." He said with a grin.

"Well, originally, I think it was just James and that little girlfriend of his over there. And then Black showed up half beat to death. And then this twitchy little firecracker popped in, and now you. I came after Sirius showed up. He was pretty bad off and my aunt didn't want to leave James in charge with it being so severe. I also think she may have been worried about those two in a house together with no one but Sirius Black for a chaperone." He laughed.

Remus glanced back at the three in the pool and laughed. Sirius was holding Alice against the wall while James tickled her silly and she screamed, begging to be released.

"Well no, Sirius would make the worst chaperone ever. But James and Alice are not dating. They haven't ever dated. He is a bit hung up on Lily here." Remus said with certainty as he glanced again between James and Alice. At least he wasn't dating her last he knew….

"Really? Hmmmm. Are you sure? They act awful comfortable with each other. If you two are hung up on each other why aren't you in there too?" Frank asked the blushing, dripping Lily.

"I think you heard him wrong. James is hung up on me, not the other way around. I would rather die alone than be with Potter." She replied and about jumped out of her skin when James' voice sounded right behind her.

"Don't worry Frank, she can die alone, I am so not hung up on her. And no, I am not dating Alice, although, she seems a bit taken by you mate." He said slapping Remus on the back and leaving a nice wet handprint on his shoulder blade.

"Heh, really? I can see why, anyone would prefer me over a scrawny git like you, little cousin." He replied before grabbing the 16 year old and wrestling him back over to throw him in the pool.


	5. Chapter 5: Uninvited Guests

**_Yay For reviews! It makes my day brighter! Thank you so much for reading!_**

**_This update is for littlemissmoonbeam, who is just as skeptical of this new James and Lily as I am but is reading this anyways and I adore her for it : )_**

**_Then again it is really hard to resist spending time with James Potter ; )_**

**_Not a long one, but a big one I think._**

**_As always, this isn't mine, but I sure wish it was, or at least James was…Sigh. _**

Chapter 5

**Uninvited Guests**

It was late and the moon was high in the velvety dark sky. Prongs looked nervously into the thick wood where he could hear the dog and wolf wrestling around. They were taking a risk tonight. There were humans nearby. People they all cared about. But they couldn't leave Moony alone in that prison his father had planned.

Being prongs was strange for James. He still understood his human thoughts but he felt them differently. He knew that Lily and Alice were close by, he knew that he had to protect them. But he felt it as a pull, an innate longing to keep them safe from harm. This was dangerous but a necessary danger.

Moony was strangely jumpy tonight, almost as if Remus was trying to keep control of his wolfish head. He was bounding back and forth like an overactive terrier snipping and snapping at the always playful Sirius. James thought quickly that this should have felt strange, without Pete here. But it wasn't, it was natural as always.

Just then the wolf jumped at him and Prongs reacted quickly, using is antlers to throw some brush up in the air and to prance slightly, showing his own spirited nature. It took only moments for Moony to again be distracted by the panting massive black dog and he ran off after it. James glanced back at the house and thought of the girls in a drugged sleep inside.

In his animagus state, he did not feel guilt but he could remember feeling it before he turned. They had used a sleep potion on the girls that would not fade until dawn to keep them safe in the house. Frank was off on a run and would be gone until morning, Lily and Alice were his responsibility. He trotted off to find the gallivanting canines.

It was nearly dawn when James heard it. He saw the stiffness take over the werewolf's form as he took in the smell, the bearlike dog flipped itself around and stared in the direction of the house. James didn't know that smell, but it was undeniably human. In a flash the nightmare in front of him roared towards the unknowing, unwelcome presence. James saw Padfoot streak towards the house, trying to keep whomever it was out of danger. He felt the soft flesh of the wolf make contact with his rack as threw him against a tree.

His flank burned like he had been seared with fire and he watched as the thick fur of one of his best friend's was painted red with his blood. They wrestled and threw each other about until the wolf fell to the ground and began to shake and fold into himself. James looked up as the sun began to rise and he let himself shimmer down into his own body, unnaturally landing on his knees.

There was so much more pain as a human. He could feel the draining power of his blood rushing out of the wound on his side. He was pretty certain he had crushed his cheekbone from the pain shooting through his left eye. He looked up at Remus, he looked bad, he was bruised and bleeding. But he was breathing.

Standing he walked over and roused Remus, intending on walking back to the manor and collapse in their rooms, or maybe in his room, he didn't think he could make It into two different places. He was sincerely hoping that Sirius would be able to heal this.

Dragging each other along both of the boys were wincing painfully with each step. They had torn each other up last night. It had not gotten this bad since the night Sirius had led Snape to them. His mind was wandering until they reached the silent house and he noticed no sign of Sirius.

Something wasn't right. Sirius would have waited until the sun rose and came back to help.

"Rem, where is Pads? He…He should be here." James said under his breath.

Remus stiffened beside him as he took in his surroundings.

"Something is wrong. I feel it. James we can't go in there." Remus barely breathed into the messy black hair.

He saw the furious look on his best friend's face and knew there was no way they were not going in there, no matter the danger, no matter the cost.

"Sirius is in there." James growled simply.

Remus nodded his head resolutely and entered the house quietly. They looked at each other and James nodded towards the stairs. Quietly creeping up, they entered Alice's room, where they knew they had left both girls sleeping.

"Stay here with them." James ordered.

"No, we can't separate, we take them with us. We have to try and wake them up."

James huffed, knowing that the girls were going to be out of it and groggy, they would have a hard time getting around with them. It took time to wake them up, Alice was a bit more alert and was standing by the door, Remus had her by the hand and was clutching at his ribs, he was having trouble breathing. _Merlin please don't let me have punctured his lung._ James was thinking as he was trying to get Lily to stand up. He was bleeding quite a lot and was it a lot of pain. Either way, he wasn't leaving her. He grabbed Lily and pulled her into his arms where she was giggling lightly looking into his face.

"Hey James. Are we going somewhere." She asked, as if she found herself in James Potter's arms on a daily basis.

James winced as she wiggled in his grasp.

"Shhhhh, you have to be quiet" he said as he let Remus lead the way out of the room and back downstairs.

Their goal was to get the girls out of the house if they couldn't find Sirius right away. Chances were, no one knew Lily and Alice were even here. They were walking slowly, James felt his energy fading as a curse flew so closely by his cheek he felt the residual burn that it left there.

"Shit!" he shouted as he spun around.

At his back he was faced with four masked cloaked figures. One was holding a terrified and bloody Sirius by the throat. James sat Lily down beside him and held his wand up high, pointing it at their attackers faces.

'Jamie no! Just go, they want me not you, just go!" Sirius shouted.

"Aren't you a big headed prat, why are you so important little one? You do not know who this is? Why this is James Potter. The last heir of the Potter family estate. The last of a dying line. We want him, our Lord desires him nearly as much as he covets you. He will come too. The rest…They can die."

"No!" James shouted as he and Remus began firing curses and hexes as fast and furiously as they could.

He leaned down and grabbed Lily by the arm, shielding her behind him as much as possible. The crashing and banging seemed to bring both girls around, as there was an inordinate amount of screaming going on.

Just as James was his with a blue light that lifted him from his feat, pulled him from Lily's shaking arms, he saw a sight that made him breathe in relief. The furious , irate face of his mother. And all went black around him.


	6. Chapter 6: A Mother's Wrath

**_Thank you as always for the reviews! _**

**_I am thoroughly enjoying writing this story. I daydream about it at work lol._**

**_Hope you like this. It is short but the next chapter really starts off the plot line!_**

Chapter 6

**A Mother's Wrath**

**Madeline (James' Mum) POV**

She was certain that her heart had hit the wall with her son. The first thing she saw was her life, her entire world light up with a blue curse and be flung limply into the textured wall across from her. The next thing that registered was the boy that might as well share her own blood she loved him so much. She watched in horror as he screamed for his best friend, his brother. She saw his face contort in agony in reaction to the cruciatus curse.

Everything seemed to slow down as her horror and fear turned to anger. She was the most angry she had ever been. Vaguely she knew her husband was behind her but it did not matter, she threw spells faster than she could think. She aimed to kill, to hurt, to cause the most amount of damage possible. After all, they had her sons.

Masked figures fell around her, they were helpless to her fury. Those that remained standing fought to get away, they released Sirius into a heap of blood and pain. They ran away from the lifeless form that was her only son.

As the dust settled and the curses ceased she ran to James, pulling him into her arms. His hair was limp and fell into his face, the blood dripped from it into her hands. The only other thing that entered into her consciousness was the form of Sirius crawling up to her side and begging James to wake up.

It was several minutes before her husband and the other aurors had the remaining culprits rounded up and had placed all three of the boys on stretchers to apparate them into St. Mungo's emergency ward. As the newly unmasked men were marched by her she stopped them and looked straight into their eyes.

"You will regret this. Look into my face, I will be the last thing you see." The man in front snarled at her.

She glared back at him and spoke, with venom dripping from her words.

"Come near my boys again and we shall see who has regrets. Get this filth out of my home."

oOoOoOoOoOoO

**Remus' POV**

Five weeks later found Remus sitting on the beach in France watching James and Sirius flirt outrageously with a group of local girls. This is what they had been doing for the last four weeks, ever since they had all been released from the hospital.

Mrs. And Mr. Potter had decided that the boys would be safest in a rental house of Remus' home town, seeing as it was unlikely that the death eaters had known who the third boy was and this way at least Remus could direct the other two through the muggle world.

The girls had gone with Frank to Alice's cousin Molly's house. The girls would be protected by a trained auror and they would be in the house of a pureblood so they were unlikely to be targeted. Unfortunately for James this left him without any female playmates so he had Sirius had taken to romping in the waves and hitting on the locals. They were extremely good at it too. Apparently muggle or witch, girls were girls no matter what.

Watching the two of them you wouldn't know they had both been near death in the last two months. And Sirius had defied death twice this summer. They had two weeks left before the start of term and all three of them were anxious to get back into the safe confines of the castle.


	7. Chapter 7: The Day Hogwarts Stood Still

Chapter 7

**The Day Hogwarts Stood Still**

**James POV**

They had been back in the castle for about three weeks now and everything was going about as smoothly as could be expected. James and Sirius had each been in 5 detentions together and one apiece with Remus. Remus figured out that by using the same spell as a pensieve they could get the map to retain their memories. But now it was being kept under floorboards with several protection spells on it until they could figure out a proper code for a lock method. The map had to be secret but needed to be able to be accessed for many generations to come.

So far the biggest news of his year had been released on the train. Alice had sat down to talk to him and told him that over the last 7 weeks of Summer break she had started dating Frank. James was bummed but had known that they would remain friends, after all, he and Alice had agreed that they were only fooling around with each other in the first place. But that left him with an opening for someone to keep his mind off of one Lily Evans.

Keeping his mind off of Lily was like trying to watch the sun. You couldn't do it for long periods of time. After a while it became painful. But he managed. He did not talk to her or about her. He did not ask her out, he did not bug her about anything at all. In fact, he didn't even talk to Alice if Lily was around. He gave her the space she had requested. After all, it wasn't his fault she had shown up at his house over the summer. He had been planning on leaving her alone this year and he was sticking to it.

Today was an odd day for the four boys. The first Hogmede weekend had fallen very early this year. James, who had been unaware had scheduled Quidditch tryouts for that very day. Sirius was already scheduled for a detention and as such had to miss tryouts, but seeing as his partner was returning to his beater position from the previous year he wasn't too fussed about it. Remus was recovering from the full moon the night before which meant Peter was going to Hogsmede alone. None of the boys would be together today. For some reason James was very nervous and had a sick feeling in his stomach.

He knew it wasn't tryouts, after all, he was captain, his spot was not up for grabs. Sirius and Kingsley were both returning, though this would be Kingsley's last year. So he wasn't fussed about his beaters, he had one returning chaser, fellow sixth year Morgan Patil (whom Sirius was infatuated with), and his returning fifth year keeper Gordon Fletchly. That meant he only needed a seeker and a chaser so the tryouts shouldn't take that long. However, he was worried about how Rem was coping in the hospital wing, and how Pete was going to do picking up all the supplies they had written down, and it didn't help that Sirius kept calling his name from the mirror in his pocket.

He just had this feeling that something was not right with today. Something was wrong.

oOoOoOo

He was right, tryouts took no time at all, they were over in two hours flat. After a quick team meeting to set up their practice schedule for the next month James headed back into the castle. He heard a familiar voice calling him.

"Potter, Oi Potter!" she yelled as he stopped and turned to watch her jog towards him.

"I didn't do anything I swear it Evans." He said with a frown on his face.

She laughed and fell into step beside him. He was thoroughly confused. He had never walked anywhere with Lily Evans before.

"So I noticed. I was actually trying to figure out what you frou are up to since Pete was the only one in Scrivenshafts while I was there for a minute. And you are the first one of the Gryfindor Goofoffs I saw so I thought I would ask you."

He rolled his eyes at her made up name.

"We aren't up to anything, I had Qudditch today remember? And Sirius is in detention for being caught during some um… er… extra-curricular activities….And Remus is visiting his sick mum this weekend." He replied with a shrug. "Why? Were you wanting us to plan something today?"

"No. I was just worried that you four were going to lose all the points we earned last week in Transfiguration that is all. I swear you lot are always up to no good."

James had a very bemused look cross his face.

"What did you say?" he muttered coming to a stop.

"Er. I was worried you were going to lose points? What is the matter with you Potter?" Lily replied, shaking her emerald hair away from her face.

James was so distracted his barely even noticed the way the sun gleamed off of it.

"No, not that, the last part."

"You lot are always up to no good? Well you can't argue that, you have had more detentions than days back to school if you add all four of you up."

He spun and grabbed her face, one hand on each side and pulled her forward into a fast kiss. She was so stunned she didn't even smack him back.

"Lily Evan you are a bloody genius!" he said before turning and sprinting off towards the castle.

It took her a moment to regain her thoughts and she realized that she should be mad about just being forced into a kiss by James Potter.

"James Potter don't you run off, you can't just kiss someone without their consent you prat." She shouted before chasing after him.

oOoOoOoOo

He was kneeling beside Sirius' bed when he heard her footsteps stop beside him.

"Why hello Lily, to what do I owe the pleasure of you being in my room?" he said innocently, turning away from the wards he was trying to release.

"You bloody know why I am here, Potter. You cannot just kiss me because you feel like it. I am not your girlfriend, I do not like you, I do not want to be kissed by you." She shouted.

"Yes, I know that, all of it. I was excited, I didn't mean it, I am sorry." He said earnestly as he stood up in front of her.

His apology brought her up short, he never apologized to anyone for anything. She was a bit taken back by his height. He had gotten a lot taller since the last time she was face to face with him like this. She hadn't noticed. And if she wasn't mistaken his arms were more defined than they were over the summer too. His white Tshirt showed them off well.

"Lily why are you staring at me?" he said nervously, shuffling his feet back and forth.

"I was not staring. I was thinking. I just. Merlin you are so..so…"

But what he was he never found out. At that minute the entire castle rocked. Lily flew forward into James' arms as he toppled backwards onto Sirius' bed. The walls shook and they could hear bangs, cashes and screams from all over the grounds.

As they stood up the door to the dormitory slammed shut and the squelching sound of it sealing shut seemed to deafen them.

"What did you do!" Lily shouted with tears in her eyes..

"Honestly Lily, how powerful do you think we are? We didn't do this. What the hell is going on?" he replied as he stood and walked over the window to look out.

Lily ran to the door and was shaking it violently and throwing every kind of unlocking spell at it. They both stopped dead when Albus Dumbledore's voice sounded though the castle.

"Students please remain calm. Hogwarts' defenses have been triggered as an attack has started on Hogsmede and at the castle gates. All rooms, corridors and dorms have been sealed to stop any infiltration. If you are in a corridor please proceed to the entrance hall were you will be directed to a safer location. If you could remain calm we will be in this situation for a bit of time so sit tight and we will have you safely moving around the castle as soon as possible.

James turned around at the same time as Lily. Both with the same question in their eyes.

Would both of them survive locked together in a small space for a long period of time?


	8. Chapter 8: The Things You Do To Survive

**_I am so happy you all liked it! Absolutely thrilled infact._**

**_Thank you for the reviews and the PM's!_**

**_And this is one of my fav chapters EVER!_**

**_It is a longer one._**

**_I don't own it!_**

Chapter 8

**The Things You Do To Survive**

"James Potter! James Potter!" Came a frantic voice from somewhere on Sirius' bed

Lily looked at James, confused as he dove over the bed searching for something. He reappeared with his hair mussed and his shirt disheveled, out of breath and talking into a mirror. His appearance made Lily wonder how many times she had assumed he was snogging when in all reality he had been romping around like an overgrown puppy.

"What!" he replied to the mirror slightly panicked.

"Where are you! Is Pete with you?" Sirius' voice shouted from the piece of glass.

"I am locked in our dorm. He isn't here, I don't know if he is back yet…Where are you?"

"Shit, I was so close, I am in the common room, Alice, Morgan and Kingsley are in here too. I stopped to find out about tryouts, damn I should have come straight up. I am sorry you are in there alone." Sirius said dismally.

James glanced up at Lily, she couldn't tell if it was amusement or trepidation on his face before he spoke.

"Uhm well, I am not alone." James said softly.

"Really…Whom do you have in our room Prongsie and should I wait for a go ahead after the doors open before coming up?"

James' entire face turned red.

"No…No it isn't anything like that…I am in here with Lily."

"Lily? Lily who? Wait… Lily…Lilly Effing EVANS! You are stuck in our room with bloody EVANS!" Sirius shouted. "We have got to get you out of there, you won't last ten minutes she hates you. Ohmymerlin Ohmymerlin…Someone get Minnie here right now. James and Evans are stuck together in our dorm this cannot be a good thing." They could hear him shout to the room at large.

The mirror went black and almost instantly the door started shaking and rattling on its hinges. They seemed to be hexing it open from the outside.

"You idiots that isn't going to work I already tried it. You all heard Dumbledore." Lily said through the door, irritation plain in her voice.

James stood and walked over to her.

"Please don't kill him Evans, I need him." Sirius wailed.

"James just don't talk, keep you big mouth shut and you won't get hurt. Just keep your mouth shut." Alice shouted.

Lily rolled her eyes and James laughed.

oOoOoOoOoO

They had been locked up for at least an hour when the walls shook again and the fire that had been in the grate went out. James' snap card castle fell to the ground and exploded in front of him as Lily jumped up off the rug and knocked it in her wake.

She ran to the window and looked out. James was alarmed by the look of terror in her eyes as she turned back around.

"The mark. Its there. James its right over the town." She stammered.

He stared at the normally unshakeable girl in front of him until tears started to spill from her eyes. He stood and walked over to her and reached to wipe the tear from her face, she slapped his hand away.

"Get off me!" She shouted.

"Lily, calm down. It is going to be alright." He replied without letting go.

"How in the bloody hell is it going to be alright!" She screamed.

"Lils! It will be fine even if Voldemort himself breaks down this door I will keep you safe I swear." James said, trying to pull her into him to calm her down.

"You are so bloody arrogant. You couldn't face him. I couldn't face him, we would both die. Don't be a git Potter. I am not scared for me anyways. What about my mum? My sister? What about our friends that are out there in danger?" she cried, raking her fingernails down her face.

"Lily, they will be fine, they will fight, you are getting irrational you have to calm down before you have a panic attack. You have to breathe Lily." He gave her a little shake trying to get her attention.

It didn't work she was dissolving on the spot quickly and as another blast rattled the castle she screamed and started to shake. James wasn't sure if the door was shaking from the battle in Hogsmede or their friends that could hear the screaming from inside the room, all he could pay attention to was the hysterical girl in front of him. As her sobs got louder and she tried harder to shake her arms free he did the only thing he could think to do.

As irrational and dangerous as it was, he pulled her to him and crushed his lips against hers. She instantly stopped fighting. Probably out of shock, he thought. But then he found it was he who was in shock when he felt her lips move against his and she began kissing him back. He let her arms go and placed a hand at her back holding her against him, he held them both standing with his other hand pressed against the stone wall.

His mind had gone completely fuzzy, the only thing that could hold his attention was her body pressed against his, her fiery hair that was getting tangled into both of their faces. He registered slightly as he picked her up and sat onto a bed with her in his lap, their kiss softened in that moment and then the shouting on the other side of the door became apparent.

"Lily! Lily! James! Somebody bloody answer us, Merlin don't let them have killed each other."

They broke apart and looked at each other, both panting for breath. After a minute Lily stood up, flustered and embarrassed. James scurried backwards farther onto the bed, that happened to be Sirius'.

"Lily I am sorry, I didn't mean to do…Well that…Please I am sorry." He plead.

"I…I…I don't know what to say to you." She responded in a voice very unlike her own.

"I know, I won't tell I swear it. I swear I won't say anything." He stammered as he ignored the shouts of "James Potter!" coming from his pocket.

"It never happened, Lily I swear."

She sat down on the bed behind her and fell back.

"This blanket smells like you." She said dully.

"Uhm…It's my bed?" James said, very confused.

"So whose bed were we uhm…you know on?" she asked, very red in the face.

He chuckled.

"Sirius'. He would kill me if he knew."

Sensing that the imminent danger had passed, he laid down too, albeit very slowly.

"Can I ask you a question?" she said quietly.

He noticed that the screaming had stopped from the stairwell and that his pocket remained silent. He hoped their friends were alright.

"Always." Was his only reply

"Are you scared? Tell the truth!" she whispered

"Of this? The war and all that? No, I am not. I can't really change anything right now you know? One day it will be on my doorstep and I will have to face it and I know my choice already, I don't fear what I know. I know I will fight for what is right. I will fight for my friends, and the people I love, and my family. I am not scared to fight or to stand up for that. I am proud.

Now, of you I am terrified." He said with a grin, he noticed her look over at him with a smirk.

"Ok, my turn, and be honest mind you. Why are you always so mad at me?" he asked.

"Are we playing a truth game now?" she hedged with a giggle.

"Well we have to do something to pass the time and you started it so, quit stalling and answer the question."

She contemplated her answer for a minute.

"It is impossible for me not to be mad at you, you are so bloody irritating, and arrogant as all get out."

"I am not arrogant." He argued

"Yes you are. You bully everyone and laugh about it. All of your pranks on the slytherins are ridiculous." She countered, trying to keep her temper under control.

"No, I don't bully them, I react when they get me or my mates, that is only fair, do you want me to go tattle and get them all thrown out of the school instead?"

"You are so arrogant that you are jealous when your friends get boyfriends. Alice was terrified to tell you about Frank. She fretted about it all summer long, I thought she was going to lose her mind."

"That isn't fair, I reacted just fine when she told me. It isn't my fault that she overreacted about it, I was and am perfectly happy for her even if it is a bit weird that she snogged me first and is now snogging my older cousin and doodling their names together." He replied.

"Wait…You snogged Alice? My Alice! When? Where? Why don't I know about this? And now we? Best friends aren't supposed to snog each other's exes." She rambled.

"Uhm, I thought you knew. I assumed she told you. It wasn't like we dated, that wasn't it at all, just for the first couple of weeks this summer was it. It was just for fun, something to do you know. We never were dating or serious or anything like that. I am not her ex." He stuttered in response. Shit Allie was going to kill him. "Anyways that shows, I am not jealous, or arrogant."

"You are arrogant, you think you are the hottest thing to walk the halls. Thus snogging random girls for fun." She retorted as if her point was clenched just then.

He shook his head.

"No, that would be Sirius. I do not think I am hot. In fact I think I am too skinny and my eyes are a terrible color. My smile is crooked and lets not even talk about my hair. Merlin knows it is always a mess and there is no helping it. Not to mention I am constantly making a fool of myself with girls, well girl. I can't be around you without looking like an arse. And furthermore Allie is hardly a random girl, I have known her all my life."

She looked at him stunned, he was the most confident person she knew, well besides Sirius, he had her there.

"Well, you think your bum is the greatest thing to touch a broom in history." She countered.

"No, not quite. But in this school? Right now? Yes, I am the best flyer. I am damn good at it. I am the best in this school at it. You really can't deny that Lily. It is a fact.

"And that James Potter was arrogance." She huffed.

"No, that was confidence, quidditch and school work are the two things I am certain of. I am good at it and I am not going to pretend I am not." He shrugged.

"Ok, ok, we can come back to your arrogance later. What do you want to do after school?" she asked.

"I want to play quidditch. I love it. I love the way it makes me feel when I fly. Like nothing can hold me back, like it is only me and the air and nothing anyone says can hurt me. You should let me take you flying."

"Erm…No." she responded quickly.

"Ok, how about you? What does the brilliant Miss Evans want to be when she is a grown up witch?"

"It is stupid. You will think I am dumb. Lets just say I will be a healer that is what everyone thinks and what will likely happen right?" she replied.

He noticed her pink cheeks when he glanced over at her. He rolled to his side to face her, the sight of Lily Evans snuggled into his bed and pillows took his breath away a bit.

"I thought this was a truth game. I told you, even though I am pretty sure you think it is dumb to want to be a quidditch player." He said.

She sighed and pulled a blanket over her face.

"I just want to be a mum. That is all. I want to have a perfect baby with the perfect guy and be happy. But it isn't going to happen, and I shouldn't want to be a mum when women just want to have careers and stuff, right?"

"Why won't it happen? I can think of a lot of guys that would happily make a baby with you." James answered feeling his own face go red.

She giggled before asking her question.

"I am sure you can Potter. Why do you always have to act up? Pranking and stuff?"

He looked a bit taken back by this.

"Well, and this is completely between us, but it makes us all happier. Some of us don't have the greatest life. And it keeps our mind off of it. It is also fun to see other people laugh."

"James, I have been at your house, and met your parents, you have a great life."

"I wasn't talking about me, although, they are gone a lot, and always in danger and I think about it…All of the time. But the other guys, they don't have it so great at home. Siri, has it really bad. What is your saddest memory?"

"No, that one is too personal." She refused shaking her head.

"C'mon, you tell me yours and I'll tell you mine…" he chanted.

She couldn't hold back the giggle.

"You sound like we are six and experimenting."

"I mean we can play that game instead if you want to." He said waggling his eyebrows at her.

He ducked the pillow as she answered.

"My dad…He left my mum the summer after second year. That morning we woke up and he was gone. That is it. He just left. He didn't even ask if I wanted to go with him. We were really close. He knew I wouldn't want to stay with Tunia, and mum. I mean mum loves me but she doesn't get any of this you know?"

"That is, well it is aweful, I am sorry. My saddest memories aren't my own really. And again, this goes no where. Watching Remy miss his mum. She left him like your dad left you. He misses her a lot. He cries for her in his sleep and it feels like someone is stabbing me. And Siri well he has it bad. Everytime I see him bruised and beat after getting to my house after his…I want to kill them. And I know something is up with Pete and his family but he won't let us around them so there is no way to know but I hate the look he gets in his eyes when they come up. It makes me sad to know they aren't happy."

"You care more about them than you do yourself." She said, James thought it sounded like a question but he did not reply

"Tell me your biggest secret." She said with a grin on her face.

He opened his eyes and looked panicked for a second but smoothed it into a calm face immediately.

"I just snogged Lily Evans." He said with a smirk.

He dodged another pillow.

"No, really. Your biggest secret."

"I am an illegal animagus and I turn into a stag at least once a month." He replied with a completely straight face.

To which Lily laughed.

"Be serious, this is a game of truth James Potter!"

"You do not want me to be Sirius, he is much more roamy hands than I am." he joked.

"That is lame, and answer the question."

He sighed deeply.

"I can't it isn't my secret to tell."

"Well I will assume it has to do with Remus, since earlier you told me he was visiting his sick mum and you just told me that his mum left him."

James looked panic stricken.

"Please Lily, don't say anything to him. He will kill me. And it will hurt him a lot that I told someone that. He just, well he is really sick and he has treatments every month and they make him ill and he doesn't want people to know, please don't say anything." He begged.

"I won't. I won't say anything, I like Remus, he is my friend too."

"What are you scared of? Why can't you be a mum? You said that before and it sounded like you were so certain that you couldn't be a mum, like you were almost scared to be one."

"I…I am only telling you this because you talked to me about Remus and Sirius and I know that was hard for you. I just can't marry someone, I don't want to end up alone and raising a child that way. If my dad can leave me than anyone will. Daddies are supposed to love their daughters more than anyone else ever will, if he didn't love me enough to stay, no one will."

He could see the moonlight from the window sparkle off of the tears in her eyes. He did not reply to her answer, knowing there was nothing he could say to help her.

"Why can't you be normal like this all the time?" she asked finally turning to look at him.

He chuckled.

"I am normal like this all of the time, with the guys that is. I just can't talk around you. For fuck sake Lils you are effing gorgeous. I can't think straight when you are around."

"See, you always have to try and hit on me or ask me out, this friend thing is nice but you have to ruin it."

"I wasn't hitting on you. I was being honest. I can't help it that I think you are beautiful. I can't make that go away. But you are right, the friend thing is nice. You are alright to talk to when you aren't screaming at me Evans."

"And you are pretty alright when you aren't asking me out Potter."

At that moment the door to the room burst open and several people spilled into the dorm. Dumbledore, McGonagal, a harassed and worried looking madam Pomphrey, Sirius, Alice, Pete and Remus all fell in behind them.

Both Lily and James sat straight up looking around themselves nervously. Surely they didn't need so many people to tell them they could get out now.

"You are alive! We were certain when you didn't respond that Evans had done you in." Sirius shouted as he leapt onto James knocking him off his bed with the force.

"You are a bloody prat Sirius Black." James said shaking his hair out as he stood up.

"Well Mr. Potter, Miss Evans, it seems your friends should have had more faith in you both. I am glad to see you both unscathed. As is Poppy here. See you at dinner, it starts in fifteen minutes." Dumbledore said taking the nursemaid's arm and leading her out of the room.

"I am surprised but pleased that this room is still standing you two, ten points to Gryffindor apiece." McGonagal said as she left the room.

James and Lily looked at each other stunned.

"Wow, you two I am impressed. Way to go Lils!" Alice said bouncing up to her.

"I can not believe you!" Lily shrieked with a glare on her face."

"Me either!" James said indignantly, looking daggers at Alice.

"What did I do?!" Alice said, shocked.

"How could you have not told me you snogged Potter?"

"How could you have been so embarrassed that you didn't tell your best friend that we snogged!"


	9. Chapter 9: Old Habits Die Hard

**_This prank is based loosely on a prank I mentioned briefly in TLS, but I changed it and we are going to see it in action! FUN!_**

**_And yay for reviews yay yay yay!_**

Chapter 9

**Old Habits Die Hard**

The boys walked into their dorm after an eerily silent dinner. Remus laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. The moon always took a lot out of him.

Sirius plopped cross legged onto his own four poster and watched as James practically bounced back and forth in front of his own bed.

Peter sat down at the window and stared out into the night.

"Pete, you alright mate? You haven't said a word about what happened. We know you were there alone. They didn't hit you with anything did they?" Remus asked bluntly.

The small boy shook his head, looking down at his hands.

"Tell us about it. You are obviously shaken up Pete. Tell us what happened, we don't know, we were all here, tell us." Remus said calmly.

"I was no help at all. None. I just, hid. That is all I could do. I was shopping and I was in Zonko's and was looking at the new fireworks thinking about getting them and half listening to these two little boys beside me talk about fake wands. And then from no where there is this huge bang and the roof starts shaking and the floor moves and I see the little boys fall down. They started screaming. Everywhere all I could hear was screaming .

Then from the window I saw them out there. Dozens of black robed people shooting fire and ice and green jets at random people. I mean students and all. And these two little kids start crying and the one tried to run for the door.

Well I grabbed him round the middle and cast a silencio charm on them both and hid down behind a fallen display. I hoped they assumed we were dead. I was so scared all I could do was hide. There were others out there, seventh years mainly who were fighting back and shielding people and I just hid. Dumbledore found me when they all dissaparated.

He came in and found me huddled on the floor clutching an 8 year old like a coward. I am so ashamed. The sorting hat was right. I should be a Slytherin. The only reason I am in Gryffindor was because you Remus, and Sirius were both already here and I wanted to be a part of this group. I was so happy on the train with you and I wanted to stay that way…Happy is a good feeling. I don't belong here, I am such a coward." He moaned into his hands.

James stopped acing and looked at his friend with sympathy, Sirius looked a bit shocked and Remus just stared at the ceiling.

"First off wormy, the sorting hat wasn't too keen on me being in Gryffindor either. You think I didn't argue my arse off? I did. It was deadest that I should go to Slytherin. But here I am. And I am in no way a Slytherin, c'mon could you see me in green and silver?" Sirius replied.

"Well no, but you three fought them off over the summer you didn't hide."

James spoke next, maybe not in a soothing voice but in a serious one, which was very unlike him.

"We fought because we had no choice. There weren't any other wizards around, and the girls were there, asleep, well drugged, and we had to keep them safe.

We fought because they had Sirius. Otherwise, hell I would have stayed hidden in the woods."

"And I didn't fight, I got captured, tortured, used as bait and then I cried. Uhm it certainly wasn't the most Godric moment of my life if you get what I'm saying. I didn't even run back to fight them, I ran back because I though one of the girls was up and Moony was going to eat her." Sirius mumbled as he rolled into his pillow.

"gee, thanks for that Pads. Look Pete, none of us wants to fight. I want to be a professor, you know that. I don't want to fight. Siri, well yeah he wants to be an auror, but only to piss off his parents so that doesn't count. And Jamie wants to go off and fly on broomsticks for a living…Not exactly the most battle hardened bunch over here. And as for hiding, your hiding saved two little boys lives. Had you not hid them they would have died. And you know it. I am certain that their parents are grateful that you hid them. You saved two kids' lives today. You are a hero not a coward.

And for bloody sake James stop pacing in front of your bed and lay down already, if you do you will be able to smell her on your effing sheets, you aren't going to dilute it." Remus said finally

"What? I am pacing because I am worried about Pete." James replied, very red in the face.

Sirius burst into laughter and Peter shook his head fondly, Remus replied in a tired voice.

"No you aren't, you are afraid you are going to ruin, I don't know the essence of Lily or something. She was all up in your bed just lay in it already."

"Uhm, why was Lily in Prongs' bed?" Peter asked in a very confused manner.

oOoOoOoOoO

**_AN- The script is as follows_**

**BOLD-Sirius**

_Italic- Remus_

**BOLD UL- James**

UL-Peter

OoOoOoO

James felt his parchment burn hot under his fingers and looked down to see the note appearing there. The magical parchment rolls his mum had made for the four of them had kept them out of many detentions.

**We need a prank. Something to cheer up Wormykins.**

I am perfectly cheered already thanks.

**You have been moping Pete, admit it.**

_He isn't moping he is studying, there is a difference, you two might know it if you ever tried to study._

**Blasphemy Remus Lupin! Us study? You make me laugh Moonbeam you make me laugh.**

_If you call me that again I am going to make you cry._

**What kind of prank are we planning Sir Padfoot?**

**I was thinking something, fun. Obviously fun, nothing vengeful or towards anyone. Maybe just something that would be a great time.**

**Too bad we can't take him to France with us and go surfing again! That was fun!**

**We can surf here! We can surf on the lake!**

I am not learning to surf with that forsaken sea monster.

**Oh yeah I forgot he likes the taste of some Peteypie! You are so sweet even sea creatures love you Pete!**

I am just dying from laughter over here Sirius, ha ha….

**It was pretty funny.**

_Pretty sure he was being sarcastic there Pads._

**We could surf the stairs WE COULD SURF THE STAIRS!**

**Sweet love of merlin WE CAN SURF THE STAIRS!**

_Oh shit_

Damn it!

oOoOoOoOoO

"Mr. Black and Mr. Potter should I ask why you are standing in this corridor wearing muggle wetsuits?"

"I don't think it would be in your best interest to ask that Professor Flitwick." Sirius replied with a grin.

"Would you tell me if I asked?"

"Erm, no, no we would not." James answered with the most innocent expression he could muster.

"Very well, I daresay I will see you in my office sometime this week for a detention so carryon if you must."

"We must!" they said in unison as they continued farther up the grand staircase.

As they reached the very top they met Remus and Peter. They unshrunk the four surfboards they had been hiding under the invisibility cloak and handed them to their rubber clad friends.

"How did you two manage to get these?" Remus said with raised eyebrows, he had been hoping their lack of gear would deter them but alas they had all their bases covered.

"Muggle mail order into potter manor and then we just had Binky owl post them to us with a size charm on them and voila! Four competition level surf boards." Sirius said proudly holding out a blue board to Remus.

He sighed deeply and took it, knowing that several detentions were in his immediate future. And possibly a few broken bones.

Pete squeaked as James handed him a red board and kept the orange one for himself. Sirius looked excited as he held onto his own yellow board.

"Well boys, it's now or never!" James said the sheer excitement blatant in his speech. "Aguamenti Maxima!" he shouted.

The other three pointed their wands and repeated his charm. Water began to flow freely from the very walls around them and it poured down the staircase.

Remus pointed at the river like water and said,

"vastis fluctibus!"

Instantly the water began to roll into frothy waves, they could hear it as they crashed down the 8 stories of the main stairwell. They started to hear shouts and curses from the floors below them.

"Well, we better do this then, here goes nothing!" Sirius shouted as he jumped feet first onto his board and went screaming down the stairs.

James pushed Pete onto his stomach on his board and sent him careening towards Sirius laughing the entire way.

With one last look at each other James and Sirius grabbed their boards and jumped into the waves. James completing perfect form and gliding down the waterfall of waves, Remus was sitting on his board riding the waves like a huge water slide.

It was on about the third floor that James saw a flash of red hair in front of him and immediately understood what was happening. He tried to keep from crashing into her but merely ended up falling off of his board and ending up grabbing hold of her as they were thrown mercilessly down the final three floors, her screaming, him laughing, the entire way.

As they spilled out into the entrance way James felt himself roll to a stop with Lily laying on top of him.

He spit water out of his mouth as she shook her hair out around her.

"How do we always meet like this?" He said with a smile.

She did not look amused in the least.

"James Potter you prat what is your problem. You never change!" she shouted.

"Lily calm down, we were only trying to cheer up Peter here. He has been a bit down since hogmede" Remus soothed as he stood up beside of her. "Besides, look at how happy everyone else is too." He said with a grin as they watched several Hufflepuffs slide into the hall fully clothed and soaking wet but laughing hysterically.

"Someone could have gotten hurt! Don't cover for him Remus, this has Potter written all over it, Don't even try and tell me you didn't come up with this." Lily raged.

"Well I may have supplied a bit of the idea."

"A bit, you were a genius! This was bloody brilliant! We are going again!" Sirius shouted as he and Peter ran towards the stairs.

"Not so fast you two!" a stern voice said that stopped them in their tracks.

Both Sirius and peter flinched as they turned to see a very angry Professor McGonagall glaring at them.

"My office. All four of you. NOW!" the boys all glanced at each other but did not move.

"Well, what are you waiting for exactly?" she said. Her voice laced in anger.

"Erm…How do we get to your office, without using the stairs?" James said meekly as Professor Flitwick walked by shaking his head and chuckling at the group of sixth year boys.


	10. Chapter 10: Wanted

**_I loved the surfing/waterslide too! I always wondered why Fred and George didn't try that. _**

**_Thank you for the reviews, if you haven't noticed when I get excited and into a story I update quickly. _**

**_Mainly because I post as I write and I just want y'all to read it too. _**

**_So let's get on with this!_**

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing!_**

Chapter 10

**Wanted**

It was now Tuesday and the four boys had been in 4 hour detentions every night since the Wednesday Waterfall Extravaganza (as they liked to call it). Both Sirius and James were anxious as they were the only two that had not heard from their parents as of yet. Remus had received a strongly worded letter from his father about rules, discipline and honoring the sacrifices that had been made for him. Peter's parents hadn't sent anything but his grandmother had sent a short letter professing her disappointment.

James and Sirius weren't fooled, their parents were not going to be a quiet about things, and Sirius was picturing a howler filled with hexes. They were barely eating today as they had finally bowed to their nerves and just sat there with white faces. They didn't wait long today as when the post owls flew in they dropped two letters, a red one apiece in front of each boy. They looked up at each other not sure who should go first.

"Go ahead Siri, if you let yours wait it is likely to kill us all." James said with a sympathetic smile.

Sirius ran his hand over his short spiked hair and nodded as he opened the letter slowly.

"**YOU ARE A DISGRACE, YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE"**

And to the boys immense surprise it exploded and that was it. Sirius looked over at James with raised eyebrows.

"That was it? That was…Well that was almost civil. Mate you better open that, it is starting to vibrate."

James gulped knowing that his was not going to be, as Sirius said, civil. Although he also knew his mum would never deny that he was her son. He went to open it when the seal caught fire and it blew itself open. Madeline Potter's voice boomed through the great hall.

**"JAMES CHARLES POTTER, AND SIRIUS ORION BLACK"**

Sirius looked shocked at being directly addressed by this howler.

**"I CANNOT BELIEVE THE TWO OF YOU. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS, HERE WE ARE WORKING TO KEEP YOU SAFE SO YOU CAN GET A GOOD EDUCATION AND HAVE GOOD LIVES AND YOU ARE OFF DESTROYING THE SCHOOL."**

**"Now Maddie it was just in fun" **they heard James' father say soothingly, obviously trying to make her settle down.

**"IT WAS NOT JUST IN FUN! IT WAS JUST PLAIN DANGEROUS! YOU ARE BRILLIANT BOYS AND YOU WASTE IT ON THIS STUPID PRANKING"**

**"In all fairness, it was a brilliant prank. You should be proud of our sons' abilities."**

**"CHARLES! YOU ARE NOT HELPING! I EXPECT YOU TWO TO COME HOME THIS CHRISTMAS AND YOU WILL NOT HAVE BEEN IN TROUBLE AGAIN, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD. REMUS I AM ASTOUNDED THAT YOU LET THEM DRAG YOU INTO THIS AND PETER YOU ARE SUCH A SWEET BOY STOP FOLLOWING THEM INTO TROUBLE!**

**I LOVE YOU BOYS."**

The four boys looked at each other in shock as the letter turned to ash and poofed into smoke in front of them.

"That was the strangest howler ever." James said shaking his head in laughter at his parents.

"I love your parents." Sirius said happily.

"You both have more letters. Sirius yours looks important, it has a ministry seal on it." Remus said inspecting the letter.

"Well open it and read it, It can't be anything important I mean you can't get sent to Azkaban for school pranks." Sirius replied shrugging his shoulders and piling bacon onto his plate. He was suddenly starving.

James looked warily at the scroll Remus was unrolling and hurried to open his own. As Remus was struggling with the seal James' face turned white and he looked up in horror at the roll of parchment that was being unfurled. Remus began to read aloud before he could stop him.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_

_Mr. Sirius Black,_

_We regret to inform you that you have officially been released of your parentage. You are required to stay at school through the year until you have achieved your 17th birthday._

_As of my writing this letter you are officially a ward of the ministry of magic and are required to attain an overall E average for each term as well as no more than 3 resulting detentions per year if you wish to receive our assistance. _

_Unless a guardian presents themselves to the court of the underage magic office for a hearing you shall remain in our custodial care until you are of age._

_Thank you for you acceptance of these rules and in this matter._

_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_

Sirius' face had drained of all color, as he stared at the parchment that was in Remus' shaking hands.

"Siri." James started.

"They…They…What? They released me from parentage?" Sirius stammered ripping the letter away from his friend and re-reading it himself.

"That was a really cold letter. I mean the ministry could have come up with something better." Peter said before James kicked him in the shin to shut him up.

"Sirius, listen."

"No I need to go…I have to do…Something. I, yeah I am going." He stood up and let the letter fall to the floor.

He started to walk away but was stopped by a restraining hand on his shoulder. He turned to yell at whoever it was but was taken aback by Minerva McGonagall standing behind him with a sad look on her face.

"Mr. Black, I am sorry. I only just received a copy of the letter you have. They copied me as your direct physical guardian while at school because I am your head of house."

All three boys at the table's mouths dropped as she said the words.

"I…What?" Sirius spluttered.

"I need you to come to my office, and Mr. Potter there as well. I have a feeling you haven't let him read you his own letter yet and it is pertinent. Come along boys."

Sirius shot a look at James as he stood, James walked over and shoved his arm with a reassuring smile and they followed their favorite Professor out.

oOoOoooO

The boys both sat down in the straight backed chairs and looked over the desk at the professor.

"Sirius. I know this has to be a shock for you. I know you must be devastated." She said kindly.

James wasn't positive if Sirius had remained silent from, nerves, embarrassment, sadness or shock at Minnie calling him Sirius and not Black.

"James I want you to read your letter to him."

James nodded, a bit dazed at the use of his first name as well.

O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O

_Jamie and Sirius,_

_We were at the ministry when Mrs. Black came in and filed the paperwork for parental release. We are scheduling an emergency appointment to be appointed legal guardians._

_Sirius please I know you must be heartbroken but know that we love you very much and you will be coming home to us. You will get this well after our session is scheduled but we promise we will not let you down._

_James you had better cool it with the pranks and take care of him. He needs you right now. Behave! _

_I expect that your head of house will receive notification of dates and hearings and I will make certain that Minerva knows to tell you what is going on. _

_Sirius if this is not what you want, then please let us know, and understand that it will not hurt our feelings at all, we only want you to be happy, we want what is best for you son._

_We love you both. BEHAVE!_

_All our Love._

_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_

Sirius looked at James, shocked.

"They want me? Like to live with you and everything?" Sirius said, the disbelief was plain in his tone.

"Of course they want you, my parents adore you. Sometimes they like you better than me. You should have seen my mum when you showed up this summer. She was beside herself. She wanted to go to the ministry and file charges against them but I wouldn't let her. I told her it would make it worse for you."

"I don't know what to say. I…No one has wanted me since I was like 8 years old. What do I do?"

McGonagall cleared her throat reminding both boys that she was there. If James wasn't mistaken she had tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Well, the first thing you need to do is decide if this is what you want. Charles and Maddie have obtained an emergency hearing tomorrow and they do not want to go through with it if you don't want them to. So Mr Black I need to know, do you want to go live with the Potters?"

Sirius smiled at the renewed use of his surname.

"Of course I do. Live at Potter Manor with James and his parents? There is no one in their right mind that would not want them. I mean what do I do when someone wants you? How do you act like a normal son?"

The professor's breath hitched in her throat. She had no idea how to answer that question. Luckily James came to the rescue with a huge smile on his face.

"That's easy mate. You just act like me! They love me an awful lot. And seeing as they have known and adored you for the last 6 years as you are I think you can just be your normal self. We don't want to shock mum into a heart attack by actually being role model students. We can leave that to Remus."

"Oh Merlin help this school" McGonagall muttered as both boys grinned.

**SIRIUS" POV**

Sirius was beaming as they practically pranced out of the office. She said she loved him, she had called him son…


	11. Chapter 11: The Silent Treatment

_**This will likely be the final update this weekend. The children are comming home so I won't have a chance again for a day or so. **_

_**I do hope you have enjoyed the back to back chaapters though!**_

_**I have enjoyed writing them! **_

_**And to a reviewer, I didn't forget, I thought it should get its own chapter. **_

Chapter 11

**The Silent treatment**

Racing Sirius back to the common room James took a shortcut that dumped him out on the fifth floor. He rounded the corner and ran headlong into a wall of anger, irritation, and red hair. He recovered quickly though and smiled brilliantly at her though.

"Fancy running into you in a place like this Evans." He said cheekily, holding out his hand to help her up from the floor.

She glared at him.

"Yes because it is so rare for me to be walking to the library and all during a break." She deadpanned.

"Oh, well come on, I will walk you there. It is the least I can do." He said with a smirk as he picked up her bag.

"No, the least you can do is leave me alone. I am certain you had somewhere to be seeing as you ran me down on your flight to get there. Besides it would be a devastatingly boring walk as I am still not talking to you." She said huffily.

"Not talking to me? Why?" he asked genuinely confused, but he grinned as they began walking in step towards the library.

"I haven't spoke to you since Wednesday, why do you think?"

"Uhm…Lils, you never speak to me. I didn't know I was undergoing a punishment of sorts. What did I do on Wednesday? I thought we pranked the Slytherins on Friday after detention." He mumbled thoughtfully.

Lily flipped her hair and her eyes flashed as she clucked her tongue.

"I find it pathetic that you don't even know what you did because you get up to so much nonsense. You knocked me down three flights of stairs you bloody wanker."

"Oh, the surfing stairway, right. Heh that seems like a lot longer ago than just a week. In my defense I didn't mean for you to fall into it. Really do you not look at the stairwell before you step onto it?" he said with a glint in his wide hazel eyes.

"You will never ever change. It is always because something was up with someone else. Or they should have been watching where they were going or they pranked me first. You are ridiculous. You are going to make the most unproductive adult wizard of all time. It is a good thing you want to play Quidditch forever since all you seem capable of is playing games." She said angrily.

James stopped in his tracks and stared at her.

"That was a bit harsh don't you think? What happened to being friends?"

"What happened to being normal?" she rebounded.

"You can't just speak to people like that. You know the words that come out of your mouth do have an impact Evans. It isn't like you are throwing marshmallows and cotton candy at a bloke. You are a bitch sometimes." He said dropping her back at her feet.

She was shocked into silence for a second before she recovered.

"Yeah, well you are a prick. I don't understand why the whole school falls at your feet. You aren't worth it."

"And you Lily Evans wouldn't know what I am worth because you can't get your head out of your arse long enough to find out."

She raised her hand to smack him, but his quidditch reflexes bested her and he caught her hand before it made impact. They glared into one another's eyes, both seething in anger and frustration. And then, she flung herself forward with such force that she threw him against the wall and she kissed him.

He felt fire and ice both spill through his veins. How could you be so angry with someone and yet still want them so so badly. He pushed her away and saw the yearning in her eyes so he glanced around to figure out just where they were. Grabbing her by the front of her cardigan he grabbed both of their bags in the other hand and drug them into the nearest broom closet before pushing her against the wall and flattening her with a kiss.

"Merlin I hate you." She said as he placed his hand on her lower back and kissed her neck.

"Likewise." He muttered before making her squeal by picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. He pressed her into him and kissed her hungrily. You could taste the desire. It was so intense she wasn't even concerned that his arms were holding onto her bare thighs high up on her hips , under her skirt. Her skin seemed to tingle where his hands were.

This continued until her cardigan lay forgotten on the floor and her top two buttons on her blouse had somehow been torn off. James shirt was completely open and as he stepped back from her she watched the muscles ripple as he gasped for breath.

"We have got to stop doing this." She said in between pants.

"I don't see why. I like this kind of fighting." He said with a wicked grin.

"Yes I am certain you do. We will talk about it, when I am actually talking to you again that is." And she grabbed her bag and flounced out of the closet, flushed face and all, leaving a dumbstruck James in her wake.

OOoOoOOOoOOoOOOOOOoooo

"Mate, seriously I could attach springs to your feet and you would have less bounce in your step, what is with you?" Sirius said as the boys walked down to transfiguration after lunch. They had both missed all of their morning classes.

"I am just excited that you are going to be living with us that is all."

"Right, and that is why your shirt is buttoned wrong and you are missing your tie."

"Oh shit I left my tie, do you think Minnie will notice?" James said pushing his hand through his already tangled hair.

"Well seeing as you look like you just got the sense shagged out of you, yeah I am going to say she's gonna notice."

"Do we have time to get it? It is near the library. Come on we'll take a shortcut."

Sirius chuckled as they turned around.

"We had better run, or we are going to be really late." Sirius said taking off full tilt down the corridor.

They were both sprinting as they hurtled over the tiny professor Flitwick.

"Sorry Flitsie!" Sirius yelled behind him

"yeah sorry Professor. We know 10 points each! Sorry" James shouted out as he rounded the corner.

The Professor shook his head and giggled at their antics.

"Those two are going to be the death of Minerva, honestly." He said as he waved his wand to take away the points.

"Siri stop!" James yelled as Sirius bolted past the closet.

James skidded to a halt at the door and opened it, revealing not only his tie but a Gryffindor girls' cardigan and tie as well.

"And whom might those articles belong to?" Sirius asked reaching for the items.

James turned a brilliant shade of red as he pulled the tie over his head and began to tighten in.

"I would prefer to keep that to myself thanks."

"You aren't snogging a first year right?" Sirius joked as they started a brisk walk back to transfiguration.

"No." James scoffed in indignantly.

"Well, there's a cardigan, so that limits it to the female population. And there is a Gryffindor crest so I guess I will just accept your good taste, and say thank Merlin you seem to be moving past the whole Evans debacle."

"Erm, yeah that is long gone. I don't even think about it anymore." James hedged as they picked up their speed and raced back the rest of the way.

oOoOoOoOoO

In a flair of arms, legs and heavy breathing James and Sirius fell in a heap through the door to McGonagall's class.

"Well Mr. Black, Mr. Potter so nice to see you two behaving yourselves and coming to class on time today." She said, her lips in a fine line.

"Uhm, we..er.." James searched for a reasonable excuse.

"We got lost!" Sirius shouted out before really thinking it through.

"Oh, really. Do tell how two sixth years got lost on the way to a class they have had since first year. Please do tell." She said as she sat in her desk and intertwined her fingers as if waiting in great anticipation.

"Right well, you see were…Well what happened…and…Slytherins yeah. And then we were lost."

James dropped his head into his hands and listened as his fellow sixth years stifled their laughter.

"Mr. Black are you aware that none of that was even remotely a sentence?"

Sirius looked at thei professor with a scandalized expression.

"What, were you not paying any attention to me? Why ask for the story if you are going to tune me out?"

At this James couldn't help it, he burst into laughter and doubled over grabbing on to the closest table he could find.

"Right, well I think it is safe to say we shall be adding another night to your list of detentions and Mr. Black I think we will make it 15 more points for your cheek." Sirius grumbled as he sat down but James was still laughing slumped over on a desk.

"I suggest you find your seat James. McGonagall looks ready to kill you." A girl's voice said. He looked up and smiled into the delicate face of a blonde headed Ravenclaw.

"Right. Right. Thanks" he said trying to stop laughing as he took his seat next to a clearly harassed Sirius.


	12. Chapter 12: Free Agent

**_This is a bit awkward, but I think this would be awkward so I guess it fits. _**

**_It isn't really long, just short and sweet. It is kind of a filler but it is an important one._**

**_This sets the rest of the year into motion._**

**_Thank you for the reviews and for reading._**

**_And incase you needed help with it, it is pronounced Soar (like a bird) in (like going in to something) Soaryn._**

**_Oh and this is not mine, I will not say it everytime but you can just assume from here on out that JK invented it all, I am just embellishing her story!_**

Chapter 12

**Free agent**

They were finally free of detention! It was three weeks since the original incident and Sirius and James had finally completed their long line of detentions. Which incidentally had an extra week tacked onto it for subsequent punishments. James was so excited to spend a Saturday without detention. He had a quidditch practice that morning but his entire evening was free. And, in more good news, Lily had spoken to him on Monday. She had spoken to him every day since as well, even going as far as asking him a question in Transfiguration.

He was pretty sure no one had noticed but him, but he certainly noticed, though he was still feigning not to care about her at all. He had even been seen speaking to a pretty little Ravenclaw several times in between classes. Her short blonde hair and bright blue eyes had to be the flirtiest thing he had ever encountered and while incredibly smart she was a lot of fun. At some points he almost, almost forgot about Lily when he was joking around with and talking to Soaryn.

He was walking alone, down to the pitch when he heard small footsteps running up behind him. He stalled and turned, expecting one of his teammates, he was surprised to see Lily walking up to him.

"Hey Evans, I didn't do it I swear." He said with a grin.

"You always assume I am here to yell at you." She said sadly.

"Well, you usually are, but I was kidding this time."

"Right, well, are you on your way to practice?" she asked as they walked out into the morning sun. The air was starting to get colder and she noticed the goose bumps rise on his arms. "Why are you only wearing that undershirt? You are going to get sick." She chastised.

He shrugged.

"Because, after five minutes in the air I am going to be dying of heat stroke. And in answer to your question, yes I am going to practice, our first game is in two weeks. Why?"

She stopped and shuffled her feet, looking down at them.

"I think we need to talk, about everything that has happened this year."

He looked at her in surprise.

"Uhm, yeah, if you want to I am ok with that. I have all evening open. Where are we meeting? Or are you staying and waiting for me?"

"I am pretty sure if I stayed it would be pretty obvious what is going on. I don't do quidditch or flying, remember? Why don't we meet some place. Just name the place, you can think of more than me I would bet."

"Right, secret. We can do the astronomy tower at noon. The snoggers don't head up there until evening usually. So we should get privacy. I gotta run I will see you there." And he ran off towards the empty pitch.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Walking back from practice with Sirius, James was visibly nervous.

"What's got your knickers all in a twist prongsie?"

"Nothing." He lied

"Hmmmhmmmm Sure it's nothing."

"Do you have the map on you?" he asked.

Sirius nodded and pulled it from his back pocket and handed it to his best friend.

"Listen, I have something to do, and if you come looking for me and find me, I will personally see that you are killed in a most painful and embarrassing way. If you search for me at all, or if you let either of the other two look for me, I will re-curse your hair." James said threateningly.

Sirius stopped at the word hair and touched his newly regrown waves. They were now about ear length and he could not bear to go through such a terrible phase again.

"No problem, I won't search at all. I swear it. If someone even says your name I will hex them."

James nodded, pocketed the map and took off down a passageway.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Lily walked out onto the tower and saw him standing at the edge looking over. She stopped a little ways back before calling to him.

"Hey, step away from the ledge Potter."

He turned and smiled. He walked up to her and pulled a lightweight, silvery looking cloak from inside his bag he was carrying.

"You Miss Evans are about to learn a Marauders trade secret, and one of my secrets I guess. We aren't staying here. I think I can trust Siri not to come snooping but the others aren't as controllable as Sirius likes to think. Come on, we shall go where we cannot be found."

He threw the cloak over his head and to her astonishment, he disappeared completely until he lifted it and held it up peeking out of the side.

"Well come on, just you have to walk close or our feet will show, and quietly because it doesn't stop people from hearing us. Let's go."

He led her through the castle to a bare stretch of wall before leaning close to her ear. She couldn't help but shiver as his breath drifted across her neck.

"Ok we are going to walk back and forth three times ok. Think of someplace we can talk without being found. Over and over."

He saw her look at him skeptically.

"Just trust me Evans." He said as they began to pace.

OOoOoOoOoO

She looked around her at the miniature Gryffindor common room they were sitting in, astounded.

"So you have an invisibility cloak. I should have guessed." She stated.

He grinned.

"It has come in handy these last several years let me tell you."

"Is that a marauder secret, or a James secret?"

"Well I guess kind of both, but we all use it…A lot. This room is my secret. I found it at the end of last year and the others don't know about it yet. I thought it would be a good place to talk since as far as I have figured out it is untraceable and no one can get in if you word it right. Or so the house elves tell me." He said with another crooked smile.

She knew that he didn't like his smile but it made her week in the knees.

"So, you wanted to talk. The floor is yours Evans." He said as he plopped onto the sofa beside of her.

It threw her off. She had been expecting him to sit across from her in one of the armchairs. Instead he had thrown himself into the corner of the two seater sofa and made himself comfortable by leaning back into the corner and propping a leg up on her knees.

"Comfy?" she said with raised eyebrows.

"Very! Thanks for asking. I am sore. We had practice this morning and I ran an extra mile every day this week and I am pretty sure I cracked a rib on a stair three weeks ago but I refuse to go to Poms bout that. And the full moon was night before last and between classes and detention I haven't got to sleep it off yet."

"What does the full moon have to do with it?"

She watched as he turned a sickly color of gray.

"Oh, well, you know how Sirius is a mess over astronomy after being named after a star and all, he made us go out and blood stargaze with him. I swear he is part girl. Bloody prat that he is."

"Oh, I didn't know he liked stars."

"You don't know much about him at all Lils."

"Yeah, true point, I don't mind it either."

He rolled his eyes at her and ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up everywhere.

"So, this talk…You are stalling." He said, with a glint in his eye.

He leaned up and brought his face very close to hers.

"Before we start. Am I in danger of getting physically maimed if I kiss you right now."

She had to gather her senses after falling into his bottomless eyes.

"Uhm well that depends, and is what we need to talk about." She put her hand on his chest and pushed him back a few centimeters. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He grinned a very cocky, and much to Lily's irritation, sexy smile.

"Well that depends, is this your application process because if it is you are hired. And in that case yes I do."

She rolled her eyes but couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her traitorous lips.

"No, it is not."

He frowned, but bounced back quickly.

"Oh well then, no, I do not currently have a girlfriend. Though I am willing to review candidates."

"You are a mess." She said before pulling him into a quick kiss, one that he was eager to prolong. However, she pulled away mere seconds after it started.

"I only want to have this conversation once, alright?"

He nodded and leaned back into his corner.

"I don't do relationships. I don't do boyfriends and love and all that. I won't put myself in that situation and you know why. I won't be my mum. I refuse to be her. I love her, but I don't want to hurt like that. And I have been hurt enough by a man already."

He narrowed his eyes but nodded silently.

"I like this" she used her hand to gesture between the two of them, he smiled. "Like this, I like you when it is just us. You are different. And as much as I am afraid it is going to swell your head. I can't get the thought of kissing you out of my head."

"So you don't want to date, but you want to snog?" he said baffled. "Lily, I don't know if I can do that."

"Why not, you were doing it with Alice? I don't see the difference." She shrugged.

"I…I haven't been begging Allie to date me for the last 6 years. It was entirely different. It will be hard to separate kissing you and actually being with you. Besides, Alice and I at least were already friends, people didn't really notice the change."

"Are you saying no?" she replied, trying to hide the hurt in her voice.

"What? NO! NO! I am definitely not saying no, but I want you to start talking to me and my friends during classes and meals. Act like you can stand us, who knows if you actually got to know us you might would like us. I know you think I am different right now but I am not. I really am not. You just don't know me as well as you think you do.

If we are going to do this, you have to be civil, no screaming at me."

"Unless you deserve it…" She added with a smirk.

"Fine, unless I REALLY deserve it. And no saying things to intentionally hurt my feelings."

"What I say doesn't hurt your feelings, I doubt it gets through at all." She mumbled.

"Yeah well you would be surprised at the things that never got through that I remember coming out of your beautiful mouth. You don't have to be our best friend but you have to be friendly. That is all. It shouldn't be hard. All of your friends like us just fine. Alice is one of the people I would trust with my life. Marleen is funny and sits with us in Care of Magical Creatures all of the time. And Hestia talks to us all of the time."

"I can do that, but you have to agree not to ask me out anymore, no public displays of affection, and this part of this relationship stays between us." She replied.

"Well, first I haven't asked you out since last year oh Miss arrogant. And second, I agree, no one finds out about this. I guess we can keep this room between us? What happens if someone asks one of us out?"

"I am not going to do this if you get a girlfriend. That is incorrigible but as long as we aren't serious with someone else I see no issue, although if you get REALLY intimate with someone. Uhm I would like to know because, we might need to rethink this at that point. As far as I and the female population of this school is concerned, James Potter is a free agent."

"One with the best benefits package ever invented." He added as he finally gave into to the tension and pulled her into a smoldering kiss.

oOoOoOoO

They were seen walking beside each other in the halls that day, talking quietly as if they could actually stand each other.

"You know I am very impressed that you had the guts to make this arrangement Evans. Looks like you found your inner Gryffindor." He said as they reached the fat lady.

"Yeah, well it took two calming draughts and a courage concoction but there you have it." She said with a sigh as he waited for her to enter the common room.


	13. Chapter 13: Her First Time

**_Y'all crack me up! Some of you have read so much of my stuff that you peg the next chapter right on the head with your reviews. It greatly amuses me!_**

**_Thank you for all of the support I am really having fun writing this one._**

**_Oh and fair warning, Lemons shall abound from this point out. Maybe not this chapter but they are likely to be hiding anwhere soooo beware, it is rated for a reason folks! Don't let it catch you off guard._**

Chapter 13and 

**Her First Time**

**Remus POV**

Over the next twelve days a change had fallen over the Gryffindor sixth years.

oOoOoO

The boys had walked into the common room on Tuesday after checking out a promising secret passage behind a mirror. They were returning fairly late, about an hour after curfew and Remus was nervously checking for prefects. He hated getting caught when he himself was supposed to be setting an example. He had to be the worst prefect in history.

They were heading towards the stairwell when James suddenly veered towards the fire and sat down on the sofa beside of Alice. Whom was carrying on a lively conversation over homework with Marleen, Hestia, and of course Lily. He really wished James would not do this. It was bound to end in a fight between James and Lily. It always ended in a fight. But to Remus' disappointment James sat down and laid his head on Alice's shoulder.

Sirius rolled his eyes and huffed and he and Peter grudgingly followed their friend over to the group of girls. Remus sighed deeply and followed the three, he sat on the floor across from Lily.

"Wusup Jamie?" Alice asked leaning her head sideways to rest it on his.

Remus was surprised at how good of friends they had remained after she started dating Frank.

"What are you working on?" he asked in his sweetest voice.

"Transfiguration, and it is awful." She said, smirking at the innocent expression her long time friend was wearing. "Why what do you want?"

James lifted his head and adopted a look of instant shock and hurt.

'Now Allie, I was just going to offer to do your paper for you, you hurt my feelings." She looked skyward and tried to keep the smile off her face.

"What do you want me to do for you if you do my paper?"

"A fair trade, I will do your Transfiguration, if you do my Charms questions." He said, wiping the innocent look of his face with a devilish smile.

She roared in laughter.

"Yeah, I think you are barking up the wrong tree buddy. I am saving those effing questions for last because they are wicked, you may want to chat up Lily about charms."

Everyone but Lily laughed.

"Uhm, Lily doesn't cheat." James said through his laughter.

"I bet she would if it got her out of that transfiguration paper. Wouldn't you Lil?"

Everyone looked expectantly at Lily, who was biting her bottom lip.

"Well, I don't want to cheat, but I don't understand McGonagall's human transfiguration at all. What if I give you my charms homework so you can see how I found the answers and then you help me understand this mess that is called transfiguration. Seeing as I am supposed to turn it in tomorrow." She said with a timid smile.

James plastered a huge smile on his face before agreeing and moving over to sit next to her on the floor. Neither of them had noticed that life in the group had ceased to exist everywhere else. Sirius was looking at them both in shock, Alice wore a look of bemused confusion, Pete could have been knocked over the head with a bludger, and the other girls looked dumbfounded. Remus was perplexed and well stunned.

Afraid to say anything the group made themselves comfortable. Sirius moved over and began to help Alice with her Transfiguration while Remus took it on himself to help the remaining three with their Defense. They were working on silent protection charms so he was silently hexing them in turn while they attempted to block it.

OoOoOoOo

That night a shift had started and everyone around the two groups had felt it. Alice had tentatively sat next to James at lunch, and to everyone's surprise Lily followed suit by sitting across the table from him, next to Remus.

Lily had mentioned in Transfiguration that James had helped her, McGonagall looked like she was going to have a heart attack at the words.

They were paired up by chance in defense and while everyone was highly anxious for what was to come (James was notably arrogant in that class in particular) they ended up laughing hysterically at the state of James' now purple hair and Lily's sopping wet robes.

Tonight was Friday, the day before the first game of the season, Hufflepuff versus Gryffindor. James was incontrollable, he was everywhere. He was so hyper and so amped up that not even Sirius could reign him in. To make matters worse, James was admittedly big headed about his quidditch skills and he was thrilled about his team and their chances tomorrow.

While his expanded group of friends was sitting on the floor in the corner building the largest snap castle to ever be found James was sitting on a nearby table rambling 1000 kilometers a minute. They were all just tuning him out, until.

"You should come." He said excitedly, jumping from his perch and knocking the entire structure over in one loud bang and a cloud of smoke.

The seven other teens looked at him in exasperation, all with varying amounts of soot and damage to their faces.

"Where to?" Peter was the first to ask.

"The game!" James replied excitedly, as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world.

"Uhm, we were planning on it, we never miss the games." Remus said with a roll of his gray eyes.

James shook his head causing his hair to fall all over the place.

"Not you. Lily! She has never been, it will be her first time! You should come! Please!" he said with such enthusiasm and excitement that it was nearly contagious.

The guys all looked at James sadly, knowing that he was pushing it. The girls all looked at Lily skeptically, who was staring James right in the eyes.

"Do you promise not to do anything stupid?" she asked

He thought about it for a minute.

"Well I will try but I lose my head a bit while I am in game mode so if I do, I am apologizing in advance." He said with a brilliant smile.

"Do you all hear that? James Potter just apologized for being a bigheaded, prat. Someone call the Prophet!"

They all, including James, burst into laughter. If they weren't mistaken, Lily Evans had just made a joke.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

**James POV**

Today was the day. Today was the first day of the race for the quidditch cup. Today was the day he and his team had been working towards. He was ready, they were ready. It was a perfect set up for them. Hufflepuff didn't stand a chance. They had a new keeper, and a new beater, and one of their chasers was new as well. The Gryffindor team was ready, they were the elite of the elite. Today was the game to show off, today, Lily was in the stands, she had come because he had asked her to. He really hoped he didn't get smacked after this game….

OoOoOoOoO

**Lily POV**

"Are you ready?" Remus asked her over the noise of all the students.\

"I think so. I am pretty sure this is the dumbest thing I have ever done." She replied, practically yelling.

"Well, understand one thing, he preapologized for a reason. This, this is where he, and Sirius excel, this is where arrogance is earned. This is where he deserves to be big headed. Because he is bloody good at it." Remus said as the two teams began walking out onto the pitch.

Lily watched as the Gryffindor team practically dismantled everything Hufflepuff had put against them. He and Sirius looked like they were merely playing tag together. At one point Sirius was hitting the bludger to make it spiral and James was twirling around it in a very impressive roll. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws cheered at every move they made, even some of the Hufflepuff girls couldn't help but cheer if James or Sirius made a move close to their stands.

The game didn't take long in fact the two hours it did take was simply because the Seeker for Hufflepuff was actually very good and it took a while to beat him. Lily had to admit, she was impressed. Not only were James and Sirius very good players, they were very fair, and when they won, they were nice, they were not bigheaded but they were friendly.

James did find a way out of his uniform jacket and undershirt but in all fairness, several of the players had stripped on the field and looked to be dripping in sweat. The Gryffindor fans had ran out onto the pitch, Remus had grabbed her by one arm and Alice had the other and they pulled her out to center pitch to meet the heroes of the day.

When they reached James and Sirius both boys were already talking to people, laughing and being their exuberant, silly selves. Lily's breath caught for just a moment when she saw James brush a piece of Soaryn's white blonde hair away from her eyes, and when she hugged him in congratulations. But a second later he saw them approach and he stepped away from her and towards his friends.

He smiled when Alice jumped into his arms and he spun her in a circle, Remus clapped him and Sirius both on the back and Pete ruffled James' hair happily. Marleen and Hestia had both jumped into Sirius' outstretched arms and kissed a cheek each. James turned to her and grinned.

"So Lilikins, how was your first time?" he said with an aire of cockiness.

She smiled back,

"Well, painless and the ending was quite satisfying, I am very annoyed to say that you are very very good. Of the 14 I have seen you are right, you are the best in the school so far."

"And prepare to hear that mouth. Once he comes out of shock that is." Sirius said with a barklike laugh as James stared at her stunned.


	14. Chapter 14: Detentions and Dates

**So the next two chapters are going to be formatted a bit weirdly. They are going to bounce back and forth between day and night, James and Lily together, and then what is happening with their friends. **

**Let me know if it is hard to keep up with it and I will change the style before the next chapter goes up!**

**Hmmmm I don't think I have much to add so we shall get right to it.**

**Thank you for the reviews!**

Chapter 14

**Detentions and Dates**

The high from the first Quidditch match had lasted two weeks at least but now, nearly a month out, the castle was falling back into its calm (well as calm as a castle filled with 300 or more hyper, hormone riddled teens ever is) ways of life.

Today was the first extremely cold day and the group of eight Gryffindors felt like they were freezing as they trooped towards the icy greenhouses. At least today they would be using portable fire to heat the plants.

"My balls are freezing off, if you knocked them together right now they would shatter." Sirius complained as he shuffled behind everyone else.

"Well, keep your hand off them, and they won't bump into each other." Hestia said wisely before rushing into the cover of the classroom as everyone else was gasping for breath through their laughter.

Sirius sidled into his place beside James and behind Hestia and Marleen with a sour look on his normally happy face. Marleen was powdering her nose, watching them from her compact.

"Oh how I miss the days when I only had to worry about three arse holes thinking about my little boy parts, now all of our sixth year class in concerned." He muttered sarcastically.

James snickered but the girls didn't miss a beat,

"That's about what I heard, little boy parts is right, about the size of a seven year old." Marleen stage whispered.

Unfortunately for the four of them Professor Humphrey was not amused, and when James slid sideways off his stool howling with unrestrained laughter and Hestia accidentally lit the Strangling sapling on fire as she lost control of her fire due to her snorts of hysteria he kicked them all out with detentions to match. James still could not breathe right and Hestia sounded like she was choking. Sirius looked murderous but it didn't help when he had flung a tickling jinx at Marleen and it bounced off of the mirror of her compact in her hand and hit him instead, so he was barely crawling from the doorway, gasping for air. The remaining four watched their friends leave, grinning like mad. Even Lily couldn't hold back her giggle when James had hit the floor in a fit of girl like giggles.

"Well that was a right fun way to legally ditch class, what shall we do next?" James said gleefully as Hestia produced the counter charm for Sirius.

"Is that really what they say? Because I will show you right now!" Sirius yelled as soon as he was able. It through James into another fit of laughter as Sirius started pulling his robes off and undoing his belt.

"Siri, out here in the freezing cold is not the smartest place to show off your buddy there…He might not live up to expectations right now." He said between laughs.

"Or he probably will." Hestia said with a nod and a smirk.

Sirius glared at both girls, grabbed them by the hands and pulled them shrieking into the castle. James followed at a slower pace. He was pretty certain that he didn't want to see what Sirius was about to do.

Sure enough as he walked into the side entrance Sirius was holding his pants up around his waist, red faced and being yelled at by McGonagall. Apparently she had been walking to the great hall with her third year class when Sirius had, provided evidence for his side of the story.

Both Marleen and Hestia were red faced and could not stop giggling, every third year girl in the hall was flushed and looked scandalized while the boys all were looking downtrodden at their feet.

"James Potter, your belt had better be fastened tightly around that waist so help me Merlin!" she shouted as he came to a halt beside his beet red best friend.

"Er, yes Ma'am they usually are…" he said slowly as if wondering about her mental state.

"Detention, all four of you. Tonight." She said angrily.

"What! But my pants are up!" "But we didn't even do anything!" Hestia, Marleen and James all cried out together.

"You two looked, and I know you have something to do with this Potter. All of you, my classroom, eight oclock tonight!"

"Erm, we already have detention tonight from Herbology…" Sirius muttered.

The Professor rolled her eyes and walked away.

oOoOoOoOoO

James was walking back from scrubbing down flower pots alone and without magic when a sound to his right made him jump. He smiled as Lily burst out laughing as she came running from behind the store house all bundled up, her breath forming a mist in front of her.

"Hey pretty girl, what are you doing out here?" he said happily as she snaked her arm through his.

"I think you know exactly what I was thinking." She said suggestively, and without another word James chased after her as they ran off to a specific, secret corridor.

~o~o~

The room was small today, just a fire and three overly large beanbag chairs, some overstuffed pillows on the plush red carpet and a few really thick, furry blankets. It was warmer than usual as well. James waited for her to enter through the small opening and rushed in behind her. It didn't take her long to figure out why the room was so much warmer.

James leaned against her from behind and kissed her neck. His lips and nose felt frozen. Not to mention, his clothes were soaking wet.

"James you are freezing." She said in alarm, as she turned to look at him.

She put her hands on both of his cheeks to warm them. They were red and chapped, his chin was quivering.

"I should have let you go back to the dorm. You are going to get sick."

He shook his head and pecked her on the lips, his own trembling.

"Nnnnnnooooo I want to be here with you. I always want to be here. I-I-I'll be fffffffiiiiinnnnne." He stammered.

"Well, we have to get you warm before you get sick, come here." She said, taking him into her arms.

But she only managed to get her own clothes damp. Her light pink Tshirt turned transparent in the middle.

"But first this has got to go." She started unbuttoning his shirt and pulling the tails out from the slacks.

"E-Evansss if you wanted me naked you only had to a-a-askk." He chattered.

"Shut up you prat, help me get these wet things off of you."

He quit playing around as she pulled his wet uniform shirt from his body and threw it on the floor by the fire. All he could do was stand and watch as she pulled his cotton Tshirt over his head. It wasn't until she had moved her hand to his belt and was fumbling with it that he remembered how to speak.

"I think we should leave the slacks, leave the slacks." He said nervously turning a ferocious red.

She giggled and moved her hands to his impossibly flat stomach.

"Silly I have seen you in swim trunks, boxer can't be that much different."

If it was possible, his face got redder.

"Uhm, I wear boxer briefs…They are different…Tighter…They uhm…don't hide much…better for sports you know…"

She rolled her eyes and leaned close to his ear.

"They can't show more than my bikini did."

He grinned and kissed the side of her head where he could reach.

"Oh if you only knew." He muttered.

"Well you can't keep those on, they are all wet. What did he have you doing down there?"

"I was cleaning the pots. All of them, the little ones and the huge stone ones, I had to use a muggle hose as I wasn't allowed to use magic. I am not good with a hose. I am fine in these, they will dry."

"What you need is a pair of warm pants."

As if the room was listening, a pair of red and black track pants appeared on the sofa. Lily smiled and handed them to him before turning around so he could change without blushing.

It wasn't even a minute later that she felt his warm bare arms around her shoulders. And he buried his face in her neck kissing the whole time. He turned her to face him and pulled her against his cold skin.

"You are freezing." She said, rubbing her hands on his arms.

"You are hot." He replied with a twinkle in his eye.

She laughed before grabbing on of the fluffy blankets and throwing it in front of the fire. She sat down on it and pulled him with her instantly morphing it into a kiss as he laid her back.

The skin on her stomach felt like it was being electrocuted where his hand pushed her simple shirt up to under her bra line. His strong icy fingers traced shapes above her belly button. The intense cold, mixing with the anticipation and sheer lust she felt for him was driving her crazy as she pulled him into an earth shattering kiss.

He forgot to breathe for a second when she placed her hands on his waist and pushed the band of his pants low on his hips, exposing the lowest muscles on his abdomen, she ran her warm fingertips softly over them and when she leaned up and licked his hipbone he almost fainted. It wasn't until he was lightheaded that he remembered to breathe.

Now James was not a virgin, he hadn't been since the beginning of fifth year, but this, this was all new. Lily made him feel in ways he didn't know was possible. She made his mind go completely blank so it was like learning everything all over again.

They had been like this together a couple of times now, but never this heavy, and never missing this many clothes. By the time she pulled away gasping for air and checking the time and James was now drenched in sweat, the cold a long forgotten memory.

They walked back to the common room, chatting animatedly, James merely grimaced when they ran into Slughorn and Lily had to tell him she had found James roaming and was escorting him back to the common room. This was the third detention he could boast that he had gotten for this cause. Heh, every once in a while it was best to take one for the team, he thought.

oOoOoOoOoO

It was early, really early. And it was Sunday. He hadn't gotten back in until well after three in the morning and the sun had yet to rise but there he was being suffocated with a pillow by one Sirius Black.

"I am tired of being taken advantage of James Potter, you will tell me who this bird is or I am going to kill you myself." He said, struggling to hold his friend to the bed.

"hhmmohhh ammphhhh iiughhhhh ttmpmmmhhhh aammmmmyoouuuppmmmmpphh"

"Sorry, what was that now?" Sirius said sweetly as he pulled this pillow off James' head.

"How am I taking advantage of you?" He said, obviously confused.

"Well, I am stopping everyone from looking for you, I haven't gone off searching, and you are spending more time with whoever this is than you are with us. I want answers, who is this partner in crime? I know it isn't Soaryn because the cardigan and tie were Gryffindor, and I accidentally, accidentally mind you, heard you saying goodnight as you came up the steps last night in the middle of the night.

Don't you think I deserve to know?" Sirius whimpered.

"No, no I do not, and you shouldn't eavesdrop it isn't attractive."

"Just, well tell me about her, what is she like? Are you just doing it? Or do you really like her? And why the bloody hell, are you being so secretive about it!" he said before flinging himself sideways and landing beside James on his bed.

James glanced around to see that the two late rising marauders still sleeping soundly in their beds. He huffed and rolled to face his best friend.

"She is crazy amazing." He said with a big grin.

"In bed or in general?" Sirius said with a wink.

"Haha, we haven't had sex thank you for asking. She is just amazing. At first, well at first we were just snogging like mad but these last few times there has been less groping and more talking."

"Too bad mate." Sirius joked as James punched him in the arm.

"No, I mean, that isn't a bad thing. I like her…A lot, more than she likes me. It is a secret because she wants it to be. You don't think she is ashamed to be with me do you?" he muttered, knowing that Sirius wouldn't tease him over his fear.

"Jamie, at least four girls ask you out a week. You have Soaryn practically dangling at your whim. I doubt she is embarrassed. Girls are weird maybe her friend has a crush on you or something and she doesn't want to start a fight?"

"I highly doubt that one…She is without a doubt the best snog I have ever had by far though. Merlin, I think about her all time…" he faded off as his thoughts drifted off to the room of requirement, the last few weeks rolled through his mind.

Lily kissing his back and shoulders, the last time when he had trailed kisses across her stomach. It felt like her giggles had made his heart jump to this throat and stay there. They had talked for the better part of three hours last night, he wasn't sure if the memory made him happy or sad…

oOo

They had been playfully kissing and tickling each other since they got into the room. Lily was laughing like mad, stood up and ran across the room from him. Intending to catch her and pin her down he stood, turned to pounce and she pulled him up short by pulling her wand.

He froze, the only reasonable thing to do when Lily Evans had her wand pointed at her. She grinned mischievously and he saw her wrist flick and felt his shirt disappear all together, leaving him standing in his uniform slacks, he just looked at her with a look of mingled shock and amusement on his face.

"Alright, we can play this way if you want." He growled playfully before pulling his own wand and swishing it in her direction.

Her face was priceless when she was left standing in her purple undershirt and stringy purple panties. She looked stunned and nervous until she noticed that James had rendered himself speechless. He dropped his wand and walked over to her. He remembered grabbing the bottom seam of her shirt and pulling her against him, feeling her body, the most naked it had ever been against him.

He had kissed her lips once and the began to trail kisses down her chin and neck, he had pushed the little elastic straps to the side and kissed her bare shoulders. She whimpered as he let his mouth wander lower onto her collarbone. He let his hands trace along the outside line of her breasts and gripped her by the hips pulling her against him.

He kissed his way down her arm as he dropped to his knees and pushed her shirt above her belly button and he kissed her lower stomach, right above her panty line. Her knees quivered and she leaned into him.

And everything overwhelmed him in that moment. He stopped kissing and let his head rest against her stomach. He didn't move for several minutes, just inhaling everything that was Lily, the cotton scent that clung to her skin and the light lavender of her shampoo or soap, The faint smell of stale ink that always stained her fingers and left arm. He was still for so long that she noticed. She pushed her hands through his thick hair and used it to pull his head back so she could look into his face.

"Something wrong?" she said timidly.

He shook his head and placed another kiss on her pale skin before pulling her down so she was sitting on his lap and straddling him.

"Come to Hosmede with me next weekend." He said softly, hope lacing his voice.

She looked ran her fingers down his cheek.

"James, we might as well shout to the world about what we are doing if we go on a date."

"Well shout it then, I am alright with that." He replied as he kissed her neck softly.

She giggled at his response.

"James, we have talked about this. You aren't supposed to be asking me out. Ask Soaryn, Merlin knows you could shag her if you smiled at her at this point. She is head over heels for you. Maybe you should start talking more to her…This…what we are doing…It probably isn't the best idea…Maybe we should stop." She said uncertainly.

He gripped her closer, holding her into his lap by her hips.

"No, no I don't want to stop. We are fine, I just like spending time with you. We are good together. And Soaryn isn't like that. We aren't like that, like this. Sirius, he likes her a lot and I don't want to date someone he likes. I just, its fine. Maybe we can meet though? Like at the Broomsticks as friends, with everyone else of course." He said quickly.

"James, we aren't good together as a couple. We are when we are alone, or when we are like this, but we would kill each other in days if we were to date. And I like this, I like being with you. If we date we will never be able to be the same together when we break up. I am happy you are my friend. I like us this way. But we can't do this if you don't like it this way too."

"Don't worry about it Lils, I love it this way. Don't think about it anymore, just kiss me ok." He said quietly pulling her into his kiss.

It was a sweet kiss, timid and nervous, James had unintentionally tipped their perfect balance.

OoOoO

"Jamie…Earth to Jamie…Did I lose you?" Sirius said, poking his shoulder.

"Right, sorry. I um actually need a favor from you." He replied.

Sirius just looked at him, waiting for the rest of the thought to come out.

"I need you to seduce Soaryn into going to Hogsmede with you by the next visit."

Sirius looked at him in disbelief.

"That is in 8 days...Mate, that bird is totally wrapped up in you. She will never agree to date me. And hello, why are you wanting her to?"

"Well, I just need…this other girl…TO see that there isn't anyone else. You don't have to date Soaryn, just make her see how much better it would be to have a guy fawning over her and stuff. You can go out with her and snog her and then just do what you always do and get on their nerves until they break it off. You have to admit, she is effing gorgeous, and she is a great girl, you won't be miserable I swear. Please Padfoot." He begged.

"Mate, you are off your rocker. But I will do it…On one condition. If I succeed and she goes with me, you have to tell me who this secret girl is. And we will call it even."

James looked at him completely flabbergasted.


	15. Chapter 15: What's Up With

Chapter 15

**What's Up With Lily Evans and James Potter?**

James and Lily were very proud of their ability to keep their big secret a secret. Secrecy was hard to come by in Hogwarts, where the rumor mill was fast and spun wildly out of control. But so far they seemed to have fared pretty well. Although unbeknownst to them there was a lot of talk in the weeks leading u to Christmas break.

They tried really hard to hide their feelings or lack thereof if you asked Lily. But sometimes a change is so unexpected you can't help but notice it. Their friends kept quiet for the most part but they had their own suspicions. Sirius more so than others. Though he kept his word and worked to help James out of his dilemma. The day after they made their plan they set it into action.

James was sitting on the risers in the stands after bludger practice watching his seeker practice feinting.

"Hey Gryffindor what's going on?" Soaryn said sweetly as she sat down beside of him.

"Hey gorgeous. Are you here to spy for your house or just to say hey?" he said sweetly.

She laughed and flipped her hair. The sunlight that bounced off of it was attractive enough to practically beacon Sirius over on its own. James never would have thought he would be practically throwing possibly the most beautiful girl he had the potential to date at his, self proclaimed ladies man, best friend. Sirius walked over calmly with a huge smile on his face.

"Well aren't you the pettiest Ravenclaw of the bunch." He said sitting down on her other side.

James fought the urge to smack his friend for hitting on the girl he had been talking to for weeks. He had to remind himself that this was the only way to actually get Lily, this was the easiest way to do it and not hurt Soaryn's feelings. He didn't want her to feel second best, this was the only way around it. He really couldn't have them both.

He watched as her fair face flushed and she muttered in return.

"Thank you Sirius, you aren't so bad yourself, for a Gryffindor that is."

James laughed while Sirius stepped up his game.

"Yeah, well why don't you come for a walk with me, this prat is no fun, I can show you a good time."

She looked nervously over at James, his friend was obviously hitting on her and he wasn't even phased, in fact he smiled before standing up.

"I have to get back to the pitch, and clear up the equipment. You are free to go Siri, I can get this." He said taking two steps down.

"Great! Come on Soaryn, you don't mind me stealing your girl, do you Jamie?"

Soaryn blushed and looked imploringly at James.

He smiled and shrugged.

"We aren't dating Sirius, she is free to walk with whom she chooses. As beautiful as she may be. See you both later." He said taking of in a jog to middle pitch, finding a reason to help his seeker.

oOoOoO

Over the next week James made certain to be too busy at any given time to see Soaryn without Sirius present. Sirius however had suddenly found lots of time, seeing as James had done his homework for him on three different occasions. James watched as they met in the halls and walked to classes that were close to each other, he saw her blush when he would twirl her hair on his finger, or carry her bag. In short he watched Sirius do what Sirius did best, completely overwhelm the opposite sex. He had never been able to reduce a girl to mush like that.

And even though he didn't have tons of extra time right now, he was often found in the common room goofing off with the other 6 sixth years. This is when the rest of Hogwarts began to talk.

James was seen by his entire house tickling her to the point of tears. After which she leaned back into his shoulder and resumed reading their History assignment.

During the last defense class she had been flung into a wall by Remus on accident and she had let James pull her up and he had kissed the back of her head where she hit it and said "All better?" and instead of flipping out, she had laughed and nodded her head.

They were both spotted walking alone in the halls and talking animatedy wearing smiles that, until recently, were rarely seen on either of their faces in each other's presence.

Tonight James was sitting on the floor with books spread in front of him (a rare enough sight as it was) Remus and Peter were across from him, Remus reading, and Pete fiddling with James' snitch. It kept getting away and he would have to summon it back to himself. Alice was sitting on the floor next to James, writing a letter to Frank and Lily was sitting on the chair that James was leaning back against. She was reading but as Remus looked up he noticed that she was idly twirling the hair at the crown of James/ head. He smirked slightly but said nothing about it, instead he addressed James.

"Where is Sirius?" he asked

James didn't look up, immersed in his and the forementioned's charms homework.

"Mmmmm I think he was going to take Soaryn to the kitchens and ask her to go to Hogsmede with him." He said, as if it was every day that he and Sirius traded off girlfriends.

Lily's hand went still in his hair and everyone stopped what they were doing to look at him in shock.

"What?" he said, realizing everyone was staring at him.

"I am confused. I thought you were dating her?" Alice replied.

"Last time Sirius took your girl we all ended up in the hospital wing. How are you ok with this She is hot." Remus said bluntly, almost forgetting that the girls were there with him.

"Remember when he asked Lily out and you didn't talk to him for 3 weeks in third year?" Peter said.

James blushed and fidgeted with the quill in front of him.

"That was different. I am not nor have I ever, dated Soaryn." James said as if that explained everything.

"I hate to break it to you mate, but you never dated Lily either."

"Thanks for that Pete." James replied as his face went even redder than it was. "And believe me, it isn't for lack of trying.

Remus watched Lily bite the inside of her lip while Peter and Alice laughed at James. She looked confused and took her hand back and began to read again.

"So, Sirius likes Soaryn?" Remus asked.

"I think so, he says he does. He thinks she is hot I guess. He is right she is gorgeous, and funny. But I think she would be better with Sirius. He suits her more. They are a lot alike. I think he is seeing that. I was certainly seeing that, it was like talking to Sirius but I found her incredibly attractive." He said, jumping as Sirius came pelting through the portrait hole.

"It's off. The deal, its off." He said gasping for air and clutching his side.

The statement made James forget that he was surrounded by people that weren't supposed to know what was going on.

"What. What do you mean? Why?" he spluttered.

"Soaryn is going with me tomorrow. And…Now don't be mad…I kissed her Prongs…And I really really like her, I think she likes me. Please don't hit me. I know, I know this wasn't supposed to happen I mean…" Sirius looked away from James' eyes and noticed for the first time that they were surrounded by at least 20 Gryffindors.

"Uhm, maybe we should go somewhere private to talk about this?" Sirius said, making James realize that they were in fact not alone.

"I…I don't know what to say." James said honestly.

"Well get up and come on, you can say what ever you want, just don't bloody hit me." Sirius said as he leaned down grabbed his best friend by the robes and drug him out of the common room.

"Shit we are screwed Remmy." Peter said dully.

Remus nodded his head.

"Yes, for all Prongs says to the contrary. He does not share well with others. And he and Sirius have quite the competitive rivalry when it comes to who can get the best girl. Soaryn might be up there with them. We are going to end up in a prank war and in detention for a week."

OoO

To everyone's surprise the prank war never happened. James and Sirius never spent any amount of time hating one another or fighting and Sirius never appeared to have a bruise.

The Hogsmede trip went over better than any of them, including James and Sirius could have hoped. James was right, Sirius and Soaryn seemed made for one another. She was so smart she always had a witty comeback to his rants and cocky statements but she was fun. And she was not shy one bit.

Pete had to complete a remedial potions class today so he was not able to come to town with the boys. Hestia was on a date with a hufflepuff by the name of Something Bones. Frank had showed up, and met Alice so they could spend the day together, leaving Lily, and Maureen with James and Remus.

"So ladies, what would you like to do?" James asked, excited to be spending a day outside of school with Lily Evans. He was completely unaware of the titters of the students as he got into the carriage with her and their two friends.

"Wherever, as long as it isn't the Shrieking Shack, that place scares me." Maureen said with a shiver.

James laughed and Remus scowled.

"Right, well I was thinking more along the lines of the apothecary, since Sirius stole the last of my supplies to make his hair tonic for today." James replied.

The girls giggled as Remus smiled.

"I am impressed Prongs, you are being completely grown up about him stealing your girl. You didn't even get angry about it."

He watched James blush and glance at Lily briefly.

"She wasn't mine to be stolen. I liked her, she was fun. But I don't love her or anything, I just think she is bloody gorgeous. But, and if you tell him this I will slaughter you all, I think Sirius is falling hard for her."

"Sirius Black never falls for girls. He shags them for two minutes and then leaves them in a pile of tears." Maureen said boldly.

Lily nodded with a frown.

"She is right, we live in the girls dorm, we use the girl's bathroom. We hear all about the love life of Sirius Black and James Potter." She said softly.

James blushed and wiggled uncomfortably in his seat.

"James when you shagged Kaiya in fifth year it was all we heard about. Everyone assumed you agreed since she was a year older than you and all. We heard enough about you and how you, well you know, that we might as well have done you ourselves." Alice said laughing.

Remus noticed that Lily was staring out of the window looking distressed.

"I'm sorry." James said quietly, causing Alice to laugh harder.

"Why are you apologizing to them for your girlfriend telling about your sex life, That is hardly your fault you git. And as for Sirius, I think this is the first time he has actually cared about the girl he was with. Incidentally though, what was the deal that he broke?" Remus said.

James stiffened and both girls looked up at him in interest.

"We er, well we were going to do something here in town and now that he is with her we erm can't…?" he said it almost like a question.

Remus knew his friend well enough to know he was not telling the whole story. The girls just looked slightly suspicious.

"Vous êtes allongé James Potter" Remus said quietly.

James' eyes flew from the window to his friend's face as the carriage rolled to a stop. He knew, that, even above Sirius, Remus knew him the best. He saw things that no one else saw. If anyone was going to discover his secret, it would be Remus. He was too perceptive for his own good. He wondered how long it would be until Remus knew the truth, he was certain in that moment that he at the very least suspected something.

They all stepped out of the carriage into the sleepy little frozen town. James saw Lily shiver and he desperately wished he could wrap his arms around her to keep her warm. But he knew that would only make his situation worse. He didn't need Lily mad at him on top of everything else.

The foursome had a great morning going between Honeydukes for candy and sweets, messing about in Zonko's where the girls rolled their eyes when the boys spent about 6 Galleons in there. Alice and Lily were even nice enough to let James go into the Quidditch Supply Store and ogle the newest Nimbus line out. It had just released that week and when the store clerk let the Gryffindor team captain hold the Nimbus 1000 he actually couldn't speak.

They ended up in the Three Broomsticks around lunchtime and happened to run into Sirius and Soaryn who were pink faced from the cold, but smiling brilliantly. They both seemed a little bit nervous to be sitting at the table holding hands with James sitting across from them. But James was too busy attempting to braid Lily's hair to pay much attention to them.

They all watched in awe as he wound the strand into an impossible knot and Lily just smiled at him while he struggled, his tongue sticking out slightly in concentration.

The group separated again after lunch and Maureen and Remus decided to head back early together so they could get started on packing for the Christmas holiday. James really wanted to walk so Lily obliged, saying that she would stay back as Gryffindor prefect to be sure everyone headed back.

They didn't notice Sirius and Soaryn when James took Lily by the shoulders and pulled her against him to warm her up. Lily smiled and pulled back after a moment, but never took her hand from his. They walked obliviously past the pair that were sitting shocked on a bench, secluded from the sight of passersby.

That day did nothing to stop the whispers about James and Lily. And though James actually noticed that they might need to be more careful, he couldn't find it in himself to care. Maybe, just maybe if everyone found out on their own Lily would agree to actually date him and she would see that they would be alright. Either way, it was too late for James, he was already lost to Lily Evans. He knew it now, when he thought about Sirius and how he talked about Soaryn. He was far past the crush, lust, like you stage. He was irrevocably in love with Lily.

Trying to hide it now that he knew it was the challenge.

~o~o~o~o~o~

Vous êtes allongé James Potter. -You are lying James Potter.


	16. Chapter 16: Absence

**_Hey all, I hope you liked the last couple of chapters._**

**_The whole idea for this story is coming up in the next couple of updates. _**

**_I am so excited about writing them. _**

**_So I am skipping a Christmas chapter b/c the summer break covers a lot of James' parents and Maruaders sans Lily so I didn't want to pile it on with this chapter too._**

**_The beginning will touch on the break but that will be it._**

**_This is a long chapter. Sorry about that. I couldn't find a place where I liked to break it, so I left it as one._**

**_Uhm Rating warning for this one. BIG TIME rating warning. _**

**_This is rated M for a reason, this is one of the reasons. It is pretty uhm graphic._**

**_Seriously, I got carried away._**

**_DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE RATING!_**

**_MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM_**

**_So let's get on with it!_**

**_I don't own HP that is all JKR!_**

Chapter 16

**Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder**

The train ride home was excruciating for James. Remus was with the prefects, Pete was already at the school and Sirius was off somewhere pent up with Soaryn. She had come to their house several times over break, surprisingly it didn't take James and Soaryn long to find an easy friendship. The awkwardness that was first there simply seemed to fade away as they spent more time together as a group of three. But James was certain that it would be easier if he could figure out how to get Lily to agree to make them a group of four.

Sirius grilled him the entire break and even hinted at one point that he knew who the mystery girl was but James was resolute, and did not tell. He sat alone with his head resting on the back of the seat. His thoughts drifting to last night as he and Sirius sat on his bed, preparing to return to Hogwarts.

"Are we still grounded from our wands when we get back for summer?" Sirius asked as he fiddled with his new Nimbus 1000 and his maintenance kit.

James smiled at the forlorn look on his friend's face.

"Mate, I haven't been allowed to have my wand on breaks since third year. After so many detentions she just confiscates it right off the train. We will be of age this summer, I don't think she can take our wands if we are of age." He replied thoughtfully

"Mate, are you planning on telling your mum that you aren't handing over your wand. Because I sure as hell won't be risking that."

James burst into laughter as he imagined Sirius' face trying to tell his mum no. Which in turn brought the beast to his door.

"James Potter and Sirius Black if you do not get into those beds I am going to flay you where you sit. We have an early morning and I won't have you sleeping late. Go to bed or I will Silencio you both." She said through the door.

Sirius stood to walk over to the door that adjoined his room to James'.

"Where are you going?" James asked, smiling at his best friend.

"Your mum said to go to bed. I am going. I don't want her to flay me where I sit. I don't like to be flayed, or punished… All she wants is me to get into bed, well I am getting my arse in bed."

It took James a second to see and hear the underlying fear in Sirius. He sometimes forgot that his idea of punishment and Sirius' were vastly different. He had noticed Sirius acting like the perfect child this entire break. He had barely cut up with him at all. It hadn't occurred to James that this was how Sirius behaved while at home. He had visited James a lot since first year, but only for a week or two. He had always been a guest, but James' mum had always treated him just like she did James, punishments and all. Apparently Sirius did not realize that.

"Pads, come back over here."

Sirius turned and looked at him with disbelief clear on his face.

"Did you not hear her? Bed, now. Detention is one thing. This is another."

"So you wouldn't willingly be punished for me?" James asked a grin on his face. He knew the answer to that already.

"I-I-I- I would but not if we could avoid it, which we can so let's do just that."

James stood and walked over to him, Sirius looked horrified. As James got closer he noticed that he was shaking slightly.

"Sirius Black, my mum's idea of flaying you where you sit is not what you think it is. My parents would rather die that hurt either of us. I have spent half of my life being punished by my parents. And I remember actually being physically punished twice. And mum made my father do it because she didn't want to see me cry. I highly doubt she would start abusing me now.

You are here, not at Grimmauld Place. You aren't going to be hurt ever, ever again. Dad told you, they have sole physical custody of you until you are seventeen, or until you leave school if you stay through 7th year, which you are going to. They aren't the parents you grew up with Siri. They are the parents that you should have had." He had tried to calm him down, but his hands continued to shake even after he had been coaxed to come sit back down on James'bed.

"Siri, talk. You are just going to give yourself a panic attack or nightmares if you don't."

"No, I don't want to talk about that. So are you going to tell me who this girl is? Or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" he said with a hint of a smile.

James took the opportunity and ran with it.

"I can't tell you. She would kill me, easily at that." He replied.

Sirius actually chuckled.

"Hmmm so she is stronger than you heh?"

"Well maybe not stronger but she is faster at firing spells that is for sure. And she has some creative ones too. The other day she left me standing half naked with the flick of her wrist. That is embarrassing if you aren't ready for it." James said with a slight blush as Sirius let out a bark like laugh.

"My kind of girl." He said with a grin.

"Yeah well you keep your furry arse away from this one. I was nice once, and only once."

"How can I stay away if I don't know who she is? What if I accidentally ask her out?" he prodded.

"What if I accidentally break your pretty face and do a switching spell on your hair for Snape's?" James muttered.

"Well I am just saying, you can't expect me to stay away if you don't tell me about her."

"I have told you about her." James rolled his eyes. "I think I am in love with her Sirius. I really do. I think I am done for."

He looked over at his best mate and saw him looking knowingly back.

"Tell her." What girl could say no to that?

"This one, I can't even tell you how screwed I am. I can't believe I told you this as it is."

Sirius looked into James' eyes, knowing without a doubt that he was talking about Lily. The same Lily that he swore to be getting over, the same Lily he had been in love with for years. Sirius couldn't be certain but he thought that Lily might just be in love with James too, she just had no idea.

He could see the nerves, pain, and embarrassment shining in the deep hazel eyes. James was the closest thing he had to a real brother relationship. He knew he had just told him something that was very hard to think about. So he sighed and took his turn.

"My mum accidentally, well I think it was an accident, stopped my heart once. She was punishing me for breaking a piece of china with a bludger. I was nine. I remember thinking I was being suffocated by darkness. I guess my lungs collapsed from the screaming.

One time Reg had written on the family crest and I knew my dad was going to unleash hell's fury on him so I said it was me. That was in second year. Remember when I came home from Christmas break late because I had fallen from the top of the stairs. Yeah, I was cursed down the stairs.

I don't mean to look like a whiny, scared little witch. I just. I hate it, I feel so weak, and I just, I don't like feeling the pain." He said softly.

"I don't know anyone who likes that kind of pain. I don't know how it was or how it has been but it won't be like that again. I can promise that. My parents, I, will die before letting them touch you again."

"Well if your titchy itchy witchy won't have you, I will always love you Potter." Sirius replied.

He noticed that James froze and his face looked shocked when he had used his surname. It had been on accident that he had used Lily's name for James but the effect was priceless. He started to laugh, which in turn caused James to burst into laughs as well. It wasn't 2 minutes and the door flew open and Maddie Potter herself burst into the room with a stern look on her face. Sirius felt his body go stiff as she rounded the corner of the bed. He saw James glance his way briefly before rolling into a ball and shrieking. His mum had started hitting him with a pillow from head to toe, after a moment she started hitting Sirius as well. Both boys were laughing and trying to fend off the offending pillow as she scolded them.

"If you two do not get your bums in a bed and shut your mouths I am going to beat you senseless." She was saying in between hits.

"Oh yes love, because having a pillow fight with your 16 year old sons is just how you should punish him, it will do him so much good." James' father said with mock sarcasm.

"Boys, you have to be up by nine tomorrow, and if you are not in the hall, bathed, fed, and packed by 10:15 I am leaving you both here and writing Dumbledore to tell him you are walking to Hogwarts, and woe betide you if you are late." He said with a smile. "Come on Mrs. Potter, I have plans for you."

"UUUHhhhhggggghhh, that is enough punishment, stop, just stop." James yelled covering his head with his pillow trying to block out his father's words and his mother's blushing face. Sirius smiled as Mrs. Potter kissed both boys on the cheek and headed for the door.

"Goodnight my loves." She said before closing it behind her.

oOoOoO

The sound of the compartment door opening caused James to open one eye slowly. He smiled when he saw none other than Lily Evans standing in front of him.

"You are behaving to well, you must be up to no good." She said with a cheeky glint in her eye.

"Hmmm that's not what you said the last time I…." he was cut off by Lily frantically interrupting.

"REMUS! What are Black and Potter up to? They are both too quiet."

He noticed Remus then, we was standing just inside the door and had a bemused look on his face.

"As far as I know they weren't planning anything, but you may want to scan the train on the way to the girls. I will stay here and keep him in line." He said sitting down beside the red faced, dark headed boy.

OoOoO

It was now Wednesday, a week and a half since they had arrived back to school. The Gryffindor sixth years had gotten to school, started classes and hit the ground running.. They were so busy that James and Lily had yet to see each other at all for more than just meals. The guys and the girls had barely even seen each other in the common room. Lily and Remus had patrol more frequently, and Sirius and James were in Quidditch practice every evening from 4 until 6:30.

With it being this side of the holidays that meant that Gryffindor had one month until the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin game and James was frantic and obsessed. His team was practicing every night and twice on Saturdays, a three hour practice in the morning and a two hour practice in the evening. Needless to say he was deeply hated by the team and all of their significant others right now. Even Sirius was getting frustrated.

"Look mate, I know you want to beat Slytherin. We do too, but you have got to chill out. We are all dying here, and most of the team is way behind on homework. Please, just cancel practice tonight. Give them a break and go get with your girl. You are going insane, you can't fool me, I know you are prolonging it because you don't want to tell her how you feel. Just go be with her for the night. It will do all of us some good."

James started to protest but Sirius held up his hand to silence him.

"And if you refuse, well I am going to hex you, hide you in a broom closet and cancel practice anyway. I do have only your best interest at heart." He said with a wink.

James sighed and looked at his watch. It was an hour before lunch. They had double care of magical creatures after lunch and a free period before. Neither of which correlated with Lily's schedule. This could work to his advantage. He grabbed the cloak and glanced at the map, searching for her and finding her quickly, she was outside, her free period having just ended. Soon she would be headed to ancient runes with Alice, Marleen and Remus. An idea quickly forming in his head he turned and smiled at Sirius.

"I won't be at lunch, or in class. Make something up, I don't care what. I will see you at dinner." He said with an evil grin before running out of the dorm.

He had been in such a hurry he left the map on the bed. Sirius smirked as he picked it up and watched James run the familiar path to the kitchens.

OoOoOoO

She was walking with Marleen, Alice and Remus. They were on their way to Runes when the strap on her bag broke, causing her to spill everything onto the floor.

"Shit." She said irritably.

To James' irritation Remus stooped to help her pick everything up. James knew that above all of his friends that Remus was the one that probably had the best idea of what was going on so he threw caution to the wind and knelt behind him. He lightly squeezed his shoulder, Remus stiffened slightly before James whispered in his ear.

"She is going to tell you to go away. Listen to her. And make up an excuse."

He watched Remus try and hide a grin. His face betraying him and showing the understanding flash in his gray eyes.

James then stooped behind Lily and lightly stroked her cheek and placed his hand on her waist to steady her.

She jumped and squeaked at the unexpected touch.

"Shhhhh." He whispered into her ear.

"You alright Lily?" Remus said with faux concern written on his face.

"Yup, yup, I am fine. Just twisted my ankle the wrong way that is all. Uhm why don't you go on to class and I will be there in a second." She said, slightly out of breath.

"Are you certain? Maybe I should help and then take you to Pomphrey, she can check your ankle."

"No, really it's fine, just go to class and tell her I'll be there in a minute. My ankle is fine, just tweaked it a bit. Go on. No sense in both of us being late." She assured him.

Remus nodded and handed her a fallen quill.

"Alright, I will see you in a bit then. I'll let the professor know." He said before sprinting off to catch up the other two girls.

James watched as she quickly picked everything up and stood, he immediately threw the cloak over her head and turned her to face him. He ran his hand across her cheek and then pulled her into a kiss. The first in weeks.

"I miss you. Come with me." He said softly.

To his surprise she let her bag fall to the ground and threw herself into his arms, causing him to stumble back into a stone wall, leaving her bag visible in the middle of the hall. She kissed him with an intensity that he hadn't felt before. It made him feel as if he were on fire. Once they broke apart he grabbed her bag and they went as quickly as possible to the seventh floor.

oOoO

**Sirius POV**

He watched as James and Lily stood still, waiting for the Remus dot to leave them. Did Remmy know or was he just there by chance? He needed to talk to him tonight. The more of them that knew the sooner they could confront James and squeeze the truth out of him.

**Lily POV**

The entire way to the tapestry one of them was touching the other, whether it be a stroke of the face, a kiss on the hand. At one point James had stopped in the middle of a deserted hall and pulled her into another amazing kiss. They couldn't keep their minds or hands off of each other.

She couldn't believe how much she had missed him. She hadn't thought it would be possible to miss James Potter like that. When the opening in the wall appeared they had barely made it through when James threw the cloak off of them, flung her bag across the room and pushed her against the wall, leveling her with a mind numbing kiss.

She closed her eyes and felt him pressed against her. He was everywhere, everything she could sense or feel was James, just James. The scent of him was intoxicating, she was enveloped in it, it was the one constant in her world. The smell of James Potter, the smell of broomstick polish and of the woods, underlying chocolate and then the overpowering aroma of whatever was in his bloody soap that set it off just perfect. She knew she wasn't the only one to be left spinning by it, she had seen many girls look dazed once he hugged them or even just bump into them. And yet somehow here she was, she was the one he was skipping class with, she was the one he had flattened against the hard stone and was kissing like he had never kissed her before.

He pulled back and smiled brilliantly at her. They finally walked into the room and the change in it made them both stop in their tracks. The room was different and the difference was obvious. It was completely circular and there was no sofa or chairs, only a table stacked with snacks and drinks, a small fire and a massive, plush bed in the central part of the room. They both knew one thing, the room made itself whatever the person in it needed or wanted. They turned and their eyes met.

She saw the shock on James' face and watched as he swallowed hard and glanced back into the room.

"Lils. I brought the food and left it because I figured we would miss lunch, I just wanted to spend more than thirty seconds with you. But I didn't…What I mean is there were chairs and a chase lounger and…I didn't set you up, I swear it." He said in a rough, nervous voice.

She nodded and stepped closer.

"I know, that isn't how this room works anyways, right?" she said nervously.

He looked like he was paralyzed where he stood, he merely nodded. Taking advantage of his silence she placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned into a soft, sweet, and for the first time ever, timid kiss. He responded in kind, placing his hands on hers before running them up the lengths of her arms and letting the slide down the sides of her breasts to her waist. He was trying to let her set the pace. She recognized the nerves in his every movement. It was funny how a piece of furniture could change the entire atmosphere.

She knew he was going to stand there, in front of where the door once stood but now did not. She used her fumbling fingers to pull his tie loose, and unbutton the top three buttons on his dress shirt. That was all the encouragement he needed it seemed, or else he just lost control, because he picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. He kissed her all of the way to the bed before laying her gently on top of the fluffy deep purple comforter. She scooted backwards to give him room to climb on too. She had expected him to lie beside her, she was wrong.

The look in his eyes was staggering. It held so much desire and need that looking into them made her quiver, there was something else there, fear maybe? But she had only seen him truly scared twice so she may have imagined it as it seemed to disappear as soon as she had even registered that it was there. It was replaced by a look of determination, but she didn't have long to see it as he was quickly straddling her hips and leaning down into a nerve tingling kiss. In that moment time seemed to stop.

He had never kissed her like this. Like his life depended on her kissing him back. She was vaguely aware of him unbuttoning her blouse and pushing it open. He moved his lips from hers and kissed the newly visible skin above the low cut undershirt she wore. Her world seemed to revolve slowly as he leaned up and pulled her to a sitting position with him, removing the uniform from her shoulders, and pulling his own off and tossing them to the stone floor. She let her hand roam down his bare chest to the waist band of his pants, unhooking them so that they fell open and rode low on his hips, they were only staying on because of how he had his legs spread on either side of her legs.

His smile made heat rise from her stomach and shoot to every possible point in her body. His hand was holding her upright, keeping her from laying back down, as he pulled her shirt high around her waist he stopped kissing before they reached her bra. Now his nerves began to show as he looked into her eyes again.

"Can I?" he asked softly.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

"All of it?" he asked hoarsely.

Knowing fully what she was agreeing to she nodded again. His eyes softened as he pulled her back into a gentle kiss before pulling her lacy white camisole off over her head.

**James POV**

The fear and nerves were plain on her face. But it was obvious that she wanted this. He asked her permission anyways before ripping her last vestiges of clothing off of her. He couldn't be certain but he was pretty sure she hadn't done this before. He had never done this with a virgin before. It made him nervous. All the more so that this was Lily Evans, he had only dreamed of this moment for years. After removing her barely there anyway undershirt he left her bra on for the moment and turned his attentions to her skirt, leaving her laying in her stringy lace white panties and matching bra.

"If I didn't know better I would say you were expecting this Evans" he joked.

She giggled and shook her head.

"They are new, I went shopping on break. Bought all new under garments." She explained breathlessly.

He laughed over the fact that she had actually responded.

"I do not need an explanation, the view is enough thanks." He said, watching the blush creep up her stomach and neck, flushing her cheeks.

He ran his fingers over the contours of her abdomen, watching with pleasure as goose pimples appeared and as she sucked her tummy in with every move of his hand. He let it trace its way to her bra strap and let his eyes meet hers once more for acceptance of what he was about to do, he saw no resistance there, only desire and nerves so he put his hand behind her back and felt it release in his fingers, he pulled it free slowly and let it fall from his hands next to them. Lily bare chested pushed all of the air from his lungs. She was more beautiful than he knew how to imagine. He knew that even looking at her like this now that his mind would never be able to conjure up this image again.

He knew he was kneeling over her, not moving, just gazing at her but he felt like he had been immobilized. It wasn't until she started pushing his pants lower on his hips in attempt to remove them that he moved to help her. He soon knelt next to her in black boxer briefs. He anxiously awaited her eyes to return to his face before continuing. He kissed her lightly.

"I need to know, love. Have you ever?" he murmered against her lips.

She shook her head slightly, he nodded nearly imperceptibly before turning his attention to her lips again. He kissed her softly, deeply. He wanted her to be able to feel and understand how much he truly loved her. He wanted her to know she was more than just some girl he was about to shag, because she was. She was everything to him, he could just never figure out how to tell her.

He kissed her lips and her jawbone, she squirmed as he bit her ear softly, all the while he was running his fingers over her stomach and as his mouth made its way to her collarbone and to her ribcage, his fingers traced their way over her hipbone, they danced across the strap of her panties. He toyed with the strap, letting his finger loop beneath it. He kissed his way from her ribs down her side, she wiggled and put her hands in his hair. It drove him crazy when she held him by the hair. He slid the panty strap down and kissed her hipbone. Causing her to involuntarily arch her back. He smiled against her fair skin, glad that he wasn't the only one going insane with every touch.

Kissing his way back up the curve of her side and over her ribs he allowed his hand to touch her bare breast. He ran his finger gently over her nipple and rubbed circles with his thumb. She whimpered at his touch. He took her sound for acquiescence and lowered his lips to the curve of them, taking each one softly into his mouth, while letting his hand slide down to the center of her legs, resting it on top of her panties. She pressed up against his fingers when they massaged over her.

He teased her for some time, before slipping his hand into the side of the wet lace. Allowing his fingers to explore every place of her that he could find. He knew without a doubt that he had to get her ready. There wasn't a way to do this without hurting her. Could he face hurting her? His mind bounced back and forth between his desire to pick her up, rip the only remaining barrier off of both of them and to throw himself into her, and running for all his life was worth because doing this meant causing her pain, something he had sworn to himself never to do. Her muscled tightened around his fingers and she dug her nails into his shoulder,

"James…Gahahgh." Came her muffled scream as she pulled his face to hers and kissed him hard, passionately.

He pulled his hand back and sat up, she cried out at his absence. He smiled and grabbed the sides of the panties and pulled them off quickly. He scooted back and lifted her legs so her feet was flat on the bed, she had her knees resting together until he kissed the right knee and nudged the other leg away with his cheek. She resisted a bit and he looked up at her. Ready to stop everything at her say so.

"Are we done?" he said with a smirk, hiding every ounce of disappointment from his voice. He wanted her to do this because she wanted this, not because she felt like she had to.

She shook her head.

"No, we aren't done. I just…I…I don't want you to see me…Like that." She barely said.

He rested his head on her knees looking her in the eyes. He knew she what she meant. He was far closer to any part of her than anyone had ever been before. It was scary to let yourself go like that.

"Lily, don't be afraid. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen love." He kissed her knee again but instead of pushing her legs apart he scooted up beside of her. Laying back and staring into her eyes.

She wasn't sure what he wanted. He took her hand and placed it over his heart and held it there until she rolled to her side to face him. She used her arm to prop herself up and look at him, he was laying on his back and had closed his eyes as if he was at complete peace.

He felt her tentatively run her hand over his stomach, across his ribs and to the waistband of his boxer briefs. He could almost feel the anticipation and nerves under them. She wasn't sure if he wanted her to do this. James opened his eyes and met the electric green with his stunning hazel. He blinked once, slowly, he saw her breath falter. To calm her nerves he leaned up and kissed her with every bit of passion and desire he had. Her hand fell to her side which made it land on his inner thigh she let her thumb rub his swollen area gently, he groaned throatily and threw himself back down on the bed, giving her every opportunity to do whatever she needed or wanted.

What she did, took every bit of his air in his lungs. She leaned down and kissed his stomach, his hips and she gently pushed her hand under the elastic band, taking him in her warm palm. He tried to lay still and let her explore but when she pushed his britches below his buttocks and kissed his inner thigh before straddling his hips he lost all signs of control. He looked up at her, completely nude, her wetness pressed against him and he couldn't take it. Knowing she wasn't ready for him yet he gripped her under both knees and flipped her onto her back.

She yelped in surprise at his speed and moaned as she gripped his hair and licked and kissed his way up her inner legs. Pushing her knees apart he gently nibbled high in the crease of her leg, causing her to cry out, when he did it again she tried to squirm away upward but his strong, quidditch toned arms held her in place and he let his tongue dart over her innermost places, causing her to fall off a cliff she hadn't even known she had been on the edge of.

Making her whimper and wiggle he slid two fingers into her.

"Merlin James. I can't… you have to…Just please…" She begged him.

He pulled himself up, looking into her face and kissing her trembling lips.

"Are you sure?" he asked, never removing his fingers. She pressed herself into his palm as it showing her need.

"Yes. Just please." She mumbled before pushing his raven dark hair from his sweaty forehead.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to be the one to make you hurt." He said, she could see the sincerity written all over his face.

"You would rather it was someone else doing that to me?" she questioned softly.

He shook his head sharply and she felt him press his erection against the outside of her.

"I am scared." He muttered

"Me too. Just…It will be fine." She assured him as much as she could. She felt his fingers slide away and watched him place his hand above her head.

He leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers, this kiss was different, everything about it screamed with emotions running high. It made her dizzy, it made her ache for him. And as she began to dig her nails into his shoulders he pushed into her.

He didn't try to be fast but he knew that being slow about it would cause more pain. So he started a smooth rhythm that matched his breathing.

**Lily POV**

It helped that she could concentrate on his breaths to block out the stinging she felt. She tried to hold her breath but she let out a whine and a hiss of pain anyways. She had her eyes closed and she felt him turn her face upward so he could see her.

"Lily, open your eyes my love." He said softly.

Her mind briefly picked up on the words my love, but they were so fitting right now. She opened her eyes and knew that with the first blink tears had overflown. He brushed the first away with his thumb as he continued to press himself deeper into her.

"Lily, we can stop." He said starting to slow down.

She forced her legs around his waist, pulling him farther into her than he had been before. She cried out a bit but spoke softly.

"No, I don't want you to, please don't stop."

He looked at her and nodded before leaning down and kissing the tear tracks from her cheeks.

"I really do, Lils, I do love you." He said softly into her ear before placing his one hand behind the small of her back and pulling her harder against him.

**James POV**

He was really trying not to hurt her but he had reached a point of no return. He held her lower back in one hand while holding himself up with the other pushing harder and faster into her. He knew she had to be in some pain but she had stopped whimpering and when he looked into her face, the tears had dried. Her eyes were now closed and there was a look akin to pleasure on her face.

"Lily, I can't stop, I can't wait…I have to…" he stuttered. He was nervous for what he was about to do. For what she would think.

She opened her eyes and looked deep into his. When she released her legs from around his waist and let them fall open to the sides giving him far more room to thrust, he knew he was done for. She put her hands on his hips and pulled him against her harder and he took her insistence for what it was. He threw his hips against her time and time again. She cried out his name, he knew it was both in pleasure and pain. He sat up onto his knees and placed both hands on her backside and pushed deep into her letting himself fall, in every way possible.


	17. Chapter 17: Sleepy Secrets

**_So I am posting this before I have read any reviews on the last chapter. _**

**_I was so nervous to post that…._**

**_This one isn't quite so long but it was necessary._**

Chapter 17

**Sleepy Secrets**

It was either very late Wednesday night or very early Thursday morning when James opened his eyes to the soft flickering firelight. He had a feeling of absolute happiness but it took someone pushing herself closer into his arms for him to remember why.

He glanced down at the naked sleeping form of Lily Evans, snuggling close into his side and chest. The sheet was draped over her most private, and amazing parts in James' opinion. She looked absolutely perfect. He was practically riding on a high. He had made love to Lily Evans, and he had told her that he loved her. And she hadn't slapped him or moved away. This had to mean something.

He watched her breathe in and out for several minutes before deciding that she would be really mad if he let her miss classes today. And if she didn't go back to her dorm her friends were likely to be more suspicious than probably already were.

He only hoped that Remus had kept his mouth shut, that was the good think about Remmy, he was good at keeping secrets.

OoOoOoO

_(hours earlier)_

**Sirius POV**

Remus entered the room with Pete and was instantly grabbed by the scruff of the neck and pushed into a waiting chair.

Sirius wasted no time in starting his assault.

"You know." He said simply.

He watched Remus' eyes widen before he spoke.

"Uhm, I don't really know much of anything." He replied, mostly honestly.

"That so? Well see I have this map. Prongs had it with him this afternoon, and he accidentally left it on my bed. If you don't know than he is one sneaky bastard and we had better watch our backs." Sirius said as he folded his arms over his chest stubbornly.

Remus' eyes darted to the map being held in Sirius' outstretched hand and he grinned wickedly.

"What did you see? Where are they?" he said excitedly.

"No you answer me first, how long have you known?"

Remus laughed, leave it to Sirius to be the one demanding answers.

"I have suspected since the beginning of December, but I wasn't certain until today. I think he was desperate to get her alone so he was under the cloak and told me to bugger off basically."

Sirius laughed happily.

"Did she know he was there. No, not until after he talked to me, I don't know what he did but she blushed like mad and practically cursed me out of the corridor. That's all I know, now you."

Sirius frowned.

"Well that's disappointing, I thought you knew more than that."

"Uhm, guys d'you want to fill me in here." Peter said standing between them looking from one to the other.

"Just a second Pete, I saw the three of you meet up. I saw you go away. I saw them run into several solid walls and then they went to the seventh floor and they disappeared. I don't know where they are now. I have been watching and they haven't returned."

Remus took the map and scanned it over several times.

"Could he have charmed it not to show him?" Sirius asked, watching the young werewolf study the parchment.

"No, I don't think so. I mean we warded this ourselves, we would all have to be present to change them. I don't know where they could have gone, unless it is off the grounds but I highly doubt that James of all people could convince Lily to go off the grounds on a school day." Remus muttered as he looked closer at all the dots around the castle.

"What James and who…Lily…As in Evans…I am so lost." Peter baulked.

Both Sirius and Remus started to laugh.

"We only just found out for certain." Remus consoled him.

"Not entirely true Remmy, I have known for sure since the last Hogsmede trip." Sirius gloated.

"What? How?" Both Remus and Peter exclaimed.

"Well I was on my hidden bench in my secret spot when you and Marleen left the two of them alone. Soaryn knows too but we haven't said anything. It is obvious they don't want anyone to know. Though why is beyond me."

"Are they dating?" Pete asked the room at large.

Remus shrugged his shoulders, Sirius shook his head.

"I don't think so, but Jamie has it bad. He says he loves her. Like is in love with her. He is afraid she is embarrassed to be with him. Merlin, don't tell him I told you that." He blurted out.

"Why would she be embarrassed, he is the best flyer in the school, he has the best grades of anyone, Lily included, he could have any girl he wanted. Why would any girl be embarrassed?" Pete asked

"I don't think she is. And come one Pete, Evans doesn't care about any of that. I think she is afraid to admit she likes him." Sirius replied as he pulled off his robes and threw them into the laundry pile in the corner of the room.

Remus was fiddling with the hangings on his four poster.

"She is scared. And I'll bet she is a bit embarrassed. Not by him but by herself, she has been declaring her hatred of him since they were eleven and now they are shagging?"

"No, snogging." Sirius corrected before motioning for Remus to continue.

"Oh, well snogging then. Anyways, she is probably confused and embarrassed and on top of that, she has snogged guys before but never had a boyfriend so I would bet that she is scared too."

Sirius and Peter both stared open mouthed at their friend, it was finally Sirius who spoke.

"You should have been a girl, honestly Moony. Let's go to dinner, James said he would meet us there, we are going to get this story out of him tonight." He said with determination.

oOoOoOoO

When James got into his dorm at 4 AM Thursday morning he was at a loss as to why Remus was sleeping slung over the arm rest of a chair, and to why Sirius was sitting slumped over in the middle of his bed staring at the map. Pete was sound asleep in his own bed, snoring as usual.

He had woken Lily up three hours ago and they had just now made it back to their rooms after some more, quality time together and a brief stop by the kitchens.

She had been so tired that he carried her on his back the entire trip to the tower, she had falled asleep on his shoulder and when he woke her the about laughed themselves silly as she stumbled up the stairs.

He was so tired he didn't have the energy to think about his friends' odd behavior so he threw off his shirt flung himself across Sirius' bed and passed out with a smile on his face.

oOoOoOoO

"Aghgahh, why in the bloody hell am I always woken up like this!" James screamed as a pillow smacked him across the face.

"Because you stay out until Merlin knows when, sneak in and sleep in the wrong bed. Get your arse up and tell us about your bloody girlfriend!" Sirius yelled back as he gave James another whack upside the head.

James sat up and grabbed the pillow before it could connect again, pulling Sirius to the bed beside of him. He glared down at him.

"There is nothing to tell, I don't have a girlfriend to tell you about."

Remus looked at him in disbelief and Sirius put his hands on either hip.

"Well then your recent behavior is quite trampish Mr. James Potter and I think we need to discuss it."

"Well your recent behavior is quite girlish and I think you need to shut the fuck up and let me go to sleep." James said in a mock high voice.

He threw himself back down onto Sirius' bed and just as he closed his eyes he felt himself be pulled ankles first and landed with a thump on the floor.

"Oghf. What the hell! Moony are you effing kidding me?" he said in frustration.

"Nope, unfortunately Prongsie I am not, we have class in 15 minutes and you can't miss two days in a row. So get up and we can talk about yesterday's adventures on the way."

James threw whatever clothes on that he could reach quickly, incidentally ending up in Remus' too long pants, Pete's too loose shirt and Sirius' robe, which actually fit pretty well.

"You look ridiculous, McGonagall is going to shit a bezor when she sees you in that get up." Pete said with a laugh as James stumbled over the hem of Remus' pants.

"Well if a bloke had made decent friends this wouldn't have happened." James muttered, trying to roll up the sleeves of his shirt.

"Why couldn't you just wear the clothes you slept in? They couldn't have been that wrinkled, you only slept in them for a couple of hours." Peter replied.

James turned red and mumbled something incoherently.

Sirius stopped in his tracks outside the transfiguration door.

"What was on your clothes that you couldn't wear them today? What was on your clothes that were in my bed?" he demanded.

"Nothing they were just sweaty. That is all." He muttered, red faced.

Sirius scowled and shoved him through the door, directly into Lily. She caught him as he stumbled right into her arms.

"Sorry Evans." Sirius said with a huge grin.

"Sorry bout that Lily, they are being stupid." Remus added, grabbing James by the back of the robes and pulling him to a stand.

When he was upright he looked at her face into her amazing eyes and couldn't stop the blush that heated his face. He was fully standing on his own but she was still gripping his forearms.

"Oh ugh sorry Lils. I uhm." He stammered pushing his hands through his already completely untamed hair.

"Are you alright Evans, you look tired today." Sirius said innocently.

"Yeah…I am fine. Are you ok Potter?" she said as he stepped back away from her.

His face fell when she used his surname and he looked hurt and oblivious to everyone else around them.

"Huh?" he said, obviously confused.

"Did you confound him or something Sirius? I asked if you were alright, James." She repeated.

He nodded his head and walked past her to a table sitting beside Peter instead of by Sirius as was usual. He knew what was going on and he wasn't falling for it. Unfortunately for James today was a partner day and McGonagall was choosing the pairs. For some unfathomable reason she put James and Lily together. Remus who was working with Soaryn watched the pair closely as did Sirius and Pete, who were also a pair.

James and Lily were an absolute mess together. Apart from being ridiculously nervous around each other and so obviously trying not to be obvious they were both dead on their feet and they were laughing hysterically at the ridiculous mess that sat on their shared table.

"May I ask you two what this is supposed to be?" McGonagall asked sternly.

Lily was giggling to hard to respond so James attempted a response.

"We have no idea professor." He said trying and failing to keep a straight face.

This made all of the Gryffindors and the majority of the Ravenclaws crack up.

"Honestly, what is the meaning of this you two, I expect this from him but not you Miss. Evans." She scolded.

Lily tried to stand up straight and push her strands of hair out of her face.

"I am sorry professor, I don't know, I am just really tired, I have been pulling extra rounds. And I guess with all of the Quidditch practice that James is doing, the two of us are likely half asleep right now. We really aren't trying to be disruptive" she said while she tried to blow a long string of her bangs up out of her eyes.

James reached over and pushed it up into her hair without thinking and the three boys watched as she shivered when his fingers brushed the side of her face.

"Yes professor, he is just really tired. Let us get him out of here, before he messes up your whole class." Sirius said grabbing James by the scruff of the neck and pulling him from the classroom.

Remus smiled and grabbed James and Sirius' books and followed them out.

"We'll sort him out professor. Lily you don't mind pair with Sauryn do you? Ours is almost done, she'll help you out." He said before bolting out of the door.

Pete was left standing in the middle of the room staring at the door after his friends and looking back at a flabbergasted head of house.

"You might as well go ahead Mr. Petigrew. Just be sure to inform them that you all have detention on Sunday." She said wearily.

He grabbed his stuff and hurried from the room but not before he heard her say.

"Is it wrong that I am relieved thay skipped the rest of the class?" and the other students burst into laughter.

oOooooOoOoO

Sirius threw James into a doorway and used his wand to flood the floor outside the door. James heard Remus lock the door behind them and watched Sirius pull the flush to send Myrtle out into the black lake.

"Why are we in Myrtle's bathroom?" he asked with a yawn.

But before he could get it all of the way out Sirius had him by the front of the robes and had pulled him about two inches from his face. He looked so intent that James had to blink twice.

"You shagged Evans' last night!" he practically shouted.

That woke James up.

"huh, who did. No, no I was uhm I…Shit." he muttered, he was too tired to lie on his feet.

"Sirius let him go, you ae disorienting him. Jamie sit down." Remus said firmly.

James obeyed and slid down the wall letting his head fall forward into his hands.

"James, were aren't stupid. We have seen the two of you together this year. There is something different. Sirius saw you both in Hogsmede, he watched you hold hands and flirt the entire way back to the castle. Not to mention that I was with you in Hogsmede and watched you practically cling to each other. We know that you are the one that urged Sirius to date Soaryn."

"Thanks for that mate." Sirius said fervently before quelling under Remus' glare.

"Yes thank you for assisting Sirius Black in getting a date, as if he needed help. Anyways, I overheard you talking to Lily on the train, and I am the one that you told to scarper yesterday. You know I suspected. And then you left the map in the room and Sirius saw you run into us, leave with Lily and neither of you were seen again until 4 am this morning. We checked, that is what time Alice said Lils got back from patrol. I fell asleep sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 Sirius woke up at 5 and you were in his bed passed out, fully dressed."

"How does this add up to me having sex with Lily?" James asked astounded that all of this had been pieced together. He couldn't believe he had forgotten that forsaken map, how stupid.

"It didn't. Until class today we assumed you were just snogging and secretly dating. But after the way you two were acting. Come on Prongs I know morning after jitters and that was it. Did you, or did you not have sex with Lily Evans?" Sirius said bluntly, his smile plastered on his face.

James looked at Pete who looked excited and then a Remus who smiled softly.

"Jamie, I don't know what you are worried about. We aren't going to say anything if you two are secret, but no one could be happier for you than we are. We have been through every rejection every I hate Lily phase every I adore Lily rant, every operation achieve Evan's panties or heart or love or kiss or acceptance or whatever else we tried to help you get of Lily's.

We want you to be happy. And it has never been more obvious that you are." He said ruffling the dark tangled hair and sitting on the damp floor beside him.

James looked up, torn between overwhelming joy and misery at letting Lily down.

"I unfortunately am not dating Lily Evans. We are most certainly not a couple." He said sadly.

The other three boys looked stunned as it was apparent that James was speaking the truth.

"But I have been snogging her since the beginning of last term and I totally slept with her last night, and it was infreakingcredible." He said with a huge smile.


	18. Chapter 18: Rivalry

**_Short one here. _**

**_Not mine, not mine, not mine_**

Chapter 18

**Rivalry**

The majority of the Gryffindor quidditch team did not know who to thank for the drastic difference in their crazed captain, but they were singing their praises none the less. Now don't be mislead, James was still a raving lunatic during actual practice but he had let off a bit on the sessions. They were now practicing three nights a week and for only 2.5 hours during the week and only on Saturday mornings for 4 hour stretches, although it was still ridiculously early starting at 7 AM and going until 11. As a result the team was more rested and more focused. They weren't as crabby and actually had their homework done and turned in on time. Which also meant that less of them were in detention.

This did not however mean that James had much spare time. Between Quidditch, homework, classes, and Lily, he was finding it hard to find time for the Marauders and food. But he was managing.. And though Sirius was getting irritable that he saw him so much less, he really couldn't complain. After all, half of the time James was gone the others were sleeping and when James was there, Sirius tended to be off with Soaryn. The times the two could be found together however spelled trouble this month.

With the Gryffindor/Slytherin rivalry going strong, both boys were being targeted for down right nasty pranks or traps. So far James had been hospitalized for a night because someone had made his potion explode causing terrible burns to his face, arms and hands. Luckily Madam Pomphrey hadn't had any problems healing him. He was pushed onto the vanishing step causing his ankle to break and then there was the Snape incident that had almost caused a fight between him and Lily.

However alarming James' month was, Sirius' was worse. The Slytherin's were always out to get him because of his traitor status, and Snape was still furious over Sirius practically leading him to his death or demise last year. He had been in the hospital wing no less than 14 times in the last month. The last time being so severe that the nurse threatened to pull him off the team. And Dumbledore had stated that if the fighting did not stop escalating that both teams would be benched for the rest of the season.

Both boys were irate. They hadn't been able to get revenge at all. They were planning on taking it out on the field.

oOoOoO

The day the game came it was a strikingly could February morning. James looked up at the bleary sky and smiled. Today was Quidditch what better day could there be? Today he was going to make the Slytherin team see why Gryffindor was so much better. They stood no chance against his seamless team.

oOoOoOoOoO

The game had been in full swing for nearly 5 hours when it took a dangerous turn. The entire match had been tough. The Gryffindor team was not taking no for an answer and was fighting hard. The score was currently 380 to 290 the only thing holding them back was that fact that the Slytherin beaters were slamming his inexperienced seeker. And the Slytherin boys were playing dirty. He was pretty sure that his jaw bone was broken and he could still see blood dripping from Sirius' nose. His keeper was playing with what was certainly a broken wrist, as he had been white faced and cradling it close to him for over an hour now.. Kingsley had been slammed into a goal post "unintentionally" and was carried from the game, Kyle had been knocked out cold by a bludger, which meant that James and Morgan were on their own scoring goals and he was trying to score and direct his team. Not to mention they were all slowly freezing to death, or to their brooms at least. The sky opened and snow began to fall, James watched as the large Slytherin beater hit his seeker in the back with his bat. He watched in horror as she fell towards the ground. Acting faster than he felt he could, he rolled his Nimbus 1000 into a dive, catching her in his arms 50 feet from the ground. He had never been more glad that he had chosen the small third year girl as his seeker. He never would have been able to catch her had she been any bigger, nor that his parents had gotten himself and Sirius matching racing brooms for Christmas.

He held her close to his chest and talked to her softly, ignoring his anger, trying to make her stop crying. That is when he heard it. The unmistakable crack of Sirius' bat meeting a bludger. He looked up in spite of himself and saw the Slytherin captain swerve to miss the speeding ball.

He was hurtling towards Sirius, who was watching the opposing seeker streak towards a flash of gold amongst the falling white.

"Noooooo!" Sirius screamed.

And then, without warning, the Slytherin captain made his final play. He pulled back his arm and shot the quaffle straight into Sirius' face. The crunch was sickening as it collided and Sirius slipped sideways off his broom. If that wasn't enough, as Sirius threw out his arm to catch the handle of his nimbus, a spell shot from the crowd hit Sirius square in the chest. His legs snapped together and his arms jerked to his sides and he fell to the ground, securely locked in a body bind curse. He fell directly in front of James, but there was nothing he could do, his seeker was still laying in tears in his arms, and he was at least 20 feet above the ground. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at his best friend.

"Finite Incantum" he shouted the first spell that popped into his head.

Sirius reacted quickly but there was no stopping the impact, he threw his arms out and the breaking of bones echoed through the stadium.


	19. Chapter 19: Seeing Red

Chapter 19

**Seeing Red**

**Remus POV**

Furious did not begin to explain James Potter. At the moment he was standing outside of the hospital wing yelling, yes yelling at his parents, Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. The four adults looked sympathetically at the boy in front of them. He was obviously upset and they really couldn't blame him. His best friend was being sent to St. Mungo's, and he was being forbidden from going, even with Sirius' life in danger. He had been benched from all games for the rest of the year, though he had been allowed to keep his captain status as Dumbledore had deemed it understandable reactions.

When he saw Sirius hit the ground he barrel rolled down, clutching Eliza close to his chest. He placed her beside his unconscious friend and instead of staying to make sure Sirius was alright he pelted back into the air with extreme speed. Coming in like a bullet he pulled back his fist and punched the Slytherin captain backwards off of his own broom.

Remus had never seen James so angry. He had never seen him actually yell at an adult before, we wasn't sure James had ever yelled like that in his life.

"You are not making me stay here! He is hurt, he could die, he is like my brother, I need to go!" he yelled, pushing the tears from his eyes with his bloodied fist.

"James, you have to calm down son, you aren't doing him any good like this. You cannot go. You have a broken jaw and I am pretty certain that your hand is broken too, you are drenched to the bone in freezing rain. Sirius needs help and it will take a long time. He needs to go now, we can't wait for you to be healed to take him, as soon as he stabilizes we are going." Charles Potter said in a steady but firm voice.

"You are going to a bloody hospital, I will let them heal me there. You are not leaving me here! Mum, mum please, don't leave me here, he needs me, you have to let me go." He appealed to his crying mother.

He walked up to her and fell into her arms, shaking from anger and sobs. Madeline held him closely and spoke softly to her son.

"You are staying here love. You are upset and hurt, Sirius needs quiet and calm, none of which you are right now. Please settle down. I will take care of him just like I have always taken care of you."

He pulled away, appalled that she would deny him when he so desperately begged her for something.

"Damnit!" he screamed, spinning on his heel and running off, disappearing around the corner.

"Remus, go after him, he needs you. We will send word about Sirius. Just, calm him down before he hurts himself…Or someone else." Charles said as he turned back into the room behind him.

"I don't know where he is." He said to James' mum.

"I think I know where he would go." Lily said in a small voice, stepping beside her friend.

"Please him back here, he needs healed." Madeline said softly, letting her tears run down her cheeks before rushing back to Sirius' bedside.

"Lead the way." Remus said to Lily.

"Mr. Lupin." McGonagall said as he turned to follow James and now Lily.

"I know, professor, he should see you for detention." He muttered.

"No actually, if you could just tell him that there will be no further punishment for this incident." She said kindly.

Remus stared for a second before turning and running to catch up Lily.

oOoOoO

They had arrived at a blank space of wall on the seventh floor when Lily stopped and looked back at him, holding out her hand.

"Just think, I need to see James. Just keep thinking it, don't stop." She said pulling him along behind her as she paced back and forth.

He was confused, and astonished when a door appeared in the previously blank stretch of space. Keeping hold of his hand Lily led him into an unfamiliar room.

It appeared to be a small sitting room, complete with fire, two chairs and a chase lounger. James was currently to be found staring into the fire, tears rolling down his face.

"James…" Lily said hesitantly, as she took a few steps closer to him.

He turned quickly, his face glazed with anger and worry. He didn't appear to see Remus standing a few feet behind her at all. He rushed over to her and pulled her into his arms roughly.

"James, it's going to be alright. Really it is." She said softly into his neck.

"Make it stop." He mumbled into her hair. "Just say that we haven't played yet and that I woke up and am having a nightmare. Please tell me that he is not dying in the hospital wing. Do something make it go away." He plead.

She obviously couldn't think of a way to comfort him, she said nothing and just held him close. After a minute he pulled back and looked into her eyes. Remus knew that look, but wasn't quick enough to turn away, he grabbed her face and pulled her into a crushing kiss.

She kissed him back and attempted to pull back a bit but he lifted her into his arms and laid her back on the chase.

"James. James, stop." She said quickly as he started to kiss her neck.

He ignored her continuing to kiss her lower.

"Really, James, you have to stop.: she said firmly. He pulled back and looked at her, hurt evident in his eyes.

He stood up walked over to the bookshelf against the wall and punched it, if his bones weren't broken in his hand before, they were now.

Remus knew that now was the moment to step in. James' anger was clouding his better judgment. He walked over and put and hand on either of his arms, using his werewolf strength to hold him in place. He knew James would recognize his touch and he was right, instead of tightening up and shutting down, his muscles loosened and he leaned back against Remus' chest.

"Jamie, he isn't going to die, your mum would never let that happen. She is the most talented healer that St. Mungo's has. There is no way she is going to stand by and let one of her sons die in front of her. He will be fine." He murmured before glancing over to see that Lily was alright.

"We need to get to the hospital wing. I am positive that your hand is broken and your jaw is starting to swell and bruise. I think you made it worse with that kiss there loverboy." He joked

"I want to go to London to Sirius." James said as he turned and folded his arms over his chest, flinching slightly when his hand bumped.

"Mate,, I don't think they are going to let you do that right now. In fact, I am pretty positive that you have no hope of that happening." He said bluntly.

"I will go myself, I will apparate, I know how. I will go, after I kill them for this." He said stubbornly.

"You will splinch yourself if you try. You are angry, upset and even though you are doing one hell of a job hiding it, you are in pain. Just be a good boy, go to Pommy and let her fix you up, and maybe we can convince someone to let us go see Padfoot tomorrow. But you have to calm down. Your mum needs to concentrate on Siri and she can't do that if she is worrying that you are going insane thousands of miles away. And I think you need to be healthy before attempting murder."

James nodded solemnly as he walked towards the door.

"So I couldn't help but notice you have been keeping secrets…Where did you find this room? You obviously know how to work it, and so does Lily. And while we are talking about Lily, so when did it become alright to kiss her like that?"

He laughed as he saw Lily stop in her tracks and a panicked expression cross her face. James turned and smiled, but he was blood red.

"Er, uhm right, Sorry about that Lils." He muttered.

She shook her head.

"I should have known better than to bring a marauder in there, I can't believe you kissed me!" she said in irritation.

"I…I…I don't even know what to say. I am sorry. I just. I was trying to forget." He said miserably.

His expression was one of such pain that Lily softened immediately.

"Remus I swear to Merlin if you tell anyone, I will hunt you down like a dog." She said with the most serious face he had ever seen on her.

He gulped and nodded.

"Lips sealed…But are you like and item or something or is James just off his rocker?"

"We are not an item, and yes he might be a bit crazy."

He thought that James was turning to tell them off but when he turned and looked at them it was in pain, and anguish. He was clutching his bloodied hand in his other and in the light Remus could see the swelling worsening in his jaw, and saw the bruise spreading down his neck and up towards his ear.

"I…owe" was all that came out of his mouth before he dropped to his knees and then to the ground.

OoOoOoO

It had been a week since the disasterous match that resulted in Slytherin being disqualified from the Quidditch cup for the year and their captain expelled from school. James was furious about being benched for the final match but was more angry at being kept away from Sirius.

They had yet to allow them to come to London to see him. His mum had come to check on him in the hospital wing and update him and Remus.

She had told them that Sirius was being held on a critical ward, though he was stable. His ribs were broken as was his collar bone, and his sternum. His shoulder had snapped out of place and both arms had broken. A rib had pierced his lung and he shared one injury with James. They had both suffered a concussion, Sirius' to the back of the head from the fall and the front of the head from the initial hit, and James from the bludger that he had taken behind the ear that had broken his jaw.

He was too critical to allow school age visitors and Mrs. Potter had refused to sign James out to go anyways. He had in turn stomped out without saying anything to her.

It had been five days since then and he was fuming. He couldn't even think straight. Lily had tried to help, she had gone on walks, just the two of them, in broad daylight. She played exploding snap in the common room with the three remaining marauders and her dorm mates, her and James were seen together more than apart. But through it all, He was focused on seeing his best friend.

All James could see was the fact that his brother was possibly dying alone and without him, and the red tinged fury that was being barely held at bay.


	20. Chapter 20: Because I Do

**_Thank you for the reviews and for reading. _**

**_This chapter is for littlemissmoonbeam who sent me an awesome pic of my boys. James and Sirius look just like I imagine them to. Once I found it, I LOVE IT!_**

**_These are the two chapters that inspired the entire story._**

**_Little bit of a rating warning, but not much….T+ probably maybe a light M but that is pushing it._**

Chapter 19

**Because I do**

Somehow the middle of March snuck up on all of the Gryffindors but James. He had only been allowed to go to the hospital one time since the match and it hadn't made him feel much better to see his friend stuck in a bed, even if he was joking around like his normal self. The month seemed to drag by without Sirius.

On a high note, he had spent a lot of time with Lily, alone and with friends. He wasn't certain but she seemed happy with him. They had not talked about their relationship, or the fact that he had told her he loved her. She seemed to have either not heard him or ignored it completely, which did not make him feel better about the situation.

Early mornings were James' thing, he was out running everyday by 6 AM, this morning he was already down in the great hall brooding over his now cold porridge when he heard his friends' voices carrying from the staircase. It was rare for them to be this loud this early, as it couldn't be more than 7:30 and none of them were morning people. Either way, he was not in the mood to be boisterous at all. Today was not a good day for James Potter.

He looked down at his bowl and tried to chew on a piece of toast but only managed to crumble off the corner and leave a mess in front of him.

"Oi! Don't we have a rule about not getting the other one up for food?!" A voice boomed through the hall.

It was astonishing that James hadn't fallen off his bench he spun so fast towards the door. Standing there with a hand on each hip, looking for all the world, perfect, was Sirius Black.

James stared at him in shock as he walked over and sat down next to him.

"What? You really didn't think I was going to let them make me miss your 17th birthday. I thought you knew me better than that Prongsie." He said with a grin as he reached up and ruffled James' messy hair.

"What are you doing here?" James replied, obviously still in shock. "You, mum said, not till April."

"Mate I think we need to enroll you in an English course, that wasn't' even a sentence. And I told you, I wasn't missing your birthday. I may have pranked a few healers last week causing them to pretty much throw me out of the ward but meh I am here so it worked! Oh and mum says I can't have my wand this summer either." He said with a huge grin before taking James' toast from his hand and eating it. "I am so glad to have proper food again. They were starving me in there."

James just continued to stare at him while he ate the rest of the food in his bowl and proceeded to make his own plate as well.

"Earth to James." Remus said with a laugh before nudging his shoulder.

He turned and looked at him with a startled look on his face.

"Happy Birthday mate!" Remus said, handing him a small package.

James looked at the bright blue paper and looked back over at Sirius.

"We are opening the rest after classes. It was going to be a pain in the arse to carry them all down, and the big present just carried itself so that's why we brought it." He said with a smile.

James ripped the paper off and smiled at the red leather leash that was laying in his hands. Sirius looked over his shoulder and choked on his bacon.

"Absolutely not!" he said outraged.

James broke into the first true laughter in weeks.

oOoOoOoO

March was ended quickly in an outburst of pranks and mayhem. The professors were so relieved to see Sirius back, healthy and whole for the most part, and to see James acting like his normal energetic self, that they didn't even get detention. Though, there was the close call when Sirius had charmed all of the doors in the castle to render the Slytherins into frilly pink dresses all day. But really who could blame him, that was hardly the revenge he had in mind and as he was not allowed to play Quidditch for at least 4 months and James was benched for violence, they stood very little chance of winning against Ravenclaw.

With all of his pent up energy and anger finding an outlet with Sirius, Lily was happy to admit that James was actually fun to be around. They had spent the last month or so together a lot of the time but James was always a bit reserved and seemed to be a hundred miles away. Today they were together in the room of requirement, as Remus found it was called, and they were having a good time with each other. She couldn't believe that James Potter was actually in her life like he was.

James was sitting in a straight backed chair wearing his trousers, half undone and Lily was in her panties and his T shirt straddling him and playing with his hair. She was giggling at all of the ways she could make it stand on end, or curl around her fingers. Finally she just placed both hands in it and shook them all around, making it fall every which way.

"Who knew that I would like playing with your crazy hair?" she said with a laugh.

"I did." James responded cockily.

"You are such an arrogant git." She muttered before he pulled her face down so his lips could reach hers.

He moved his hands to her hips and pulled her down grinding her against him. She moaned as he dug his fingers into her sides.

"I lo…I…I am terrible at this." He said, pulling his hands up to his face and letting his head fall back over the edge of the back of chair.

Lily threw her head back and laughed before pushing herself harder against his groin, making him whimper in anticipation.

"I happen to think that you are fantastic at this." She said before kissing him forcefully.

He chuckled when she pulled away.

"Well this wasn't what I meant, but thanks for that. I meant I am terrible at this, us, as in the whole free agent thing." He replied as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"I think we are managing it fine."

"You are. I am not. I don't know how to not want to be with you Lils, do you get that? Just, go out with me. Make it official, no one will even be surprised, shit we can keep that a secret to if you want, just say yes." He implored.

"James you promised that we wouldn't talk about this, remember." She said softly as she leant her head forward to let it rest on his.

He ran his fingers gently over her neck and back.

"That was over 6 months ago. Things have changed Lily."

"So if you ever make me a promise I can assume that after a substantial amount of time you are going to break it?" she challenged.

He wrapped his arms around her tightly holding her against him.

"No, not most of them. I can think of one that I would keep forever. Till death do us part." He said with a grin.

She pulled herself back and glared at him.

"James Potter, we both just turned 17 we aren't old enough to get married." She said with a huff.

"Well then it is a good thing that I only proposed dating not marriage." He said with his usual cocky charm.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, making him scowl at the distance between them.

"Why do you want to date me? This works, we are doing fine, we are both happy."

"I want to date you because I love you." He said softly.

"No you don't" she said firmly before turning her back to him.

He cursed under his breath, stood and walked up behind her, pulling her against his chest, his arms wrapped around her midriff.

"Oh but Lily, I do. I have forever and I will for always. It won't disappear, it won't go away. Believe me, I have tried. I love you. With every single piece of me." He whispered into her silky ruby red hair.

"You don't even know what being in love is." She scoffed turning her head so he couldn't see the side of her face.

"I do to. I know that I love you."

She abruptly turned around and he could see unshed tears shining in her insanely gorgeous eyes.

"How, how do you know at 17 years old that you love me?" she asked, not trying to hide the bitterness in her tone.

He answered without even skipping a beat.

"I know that when you aren't with me, I wish you were. I know I would rather die than see you hurt. I know that my entire day revolves around seeing you. I know that I don't feel whole if you aren't here. I know that I love you because my chest feels like it is going to rip open when you act like you don't love me too."

"The same thing could be said of Sirius, or Remus or even Pete I would assume." She said with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah, I guess so. But that is because they are the closest things to brothers that I have ever had. I do love them I guess, if you want me to say it that way, but you are different. I don't want to do any of the things with them that I want to do with you." He said with a rotten smirk as he stepped closer to her.

She laughed in spite of herself.

"Well I am glad to know that at least…But James that is lust not love. Though I can agree with the lust." She practically purred.

"It is not lust, though yes there is that too. I know just because I do. You love me too." He said confidently.

She scowled in response.

"Fine, don't date me, don't admit that you love me. Just go with me to Hogsmede tomorrow. Just give me one date." He said gently, leaning down and kissing her head.

"I can't." she replied with sadness in her eyes.

"Why not? Everyone has seen us together these last few weeks. It isn't like they will be surprised." He answered.

"I can't because I already said yes to someone else."

James watched her look away from him and saw a blush creep up her face. He didn't even know what to say to her. So he grabbed his belt from the floor and walked out of the room without saying anything.


	21. Chapter 21: Nothing

**_Eeeeeekkkk ok so please don't hate me…_**

**_I am leaving the state for 5 days, there will be no updates…._**

**_This is a REALLY big chapter and a REALLY terrible place for me to leave you hanging._**

**_I would like to remind everyone that has read both. This is not The Legacy Series. _**

**_They are of course meant to be….The ending will be cannon….Promise_**

**_And this is it, this is the actual very first thing that brought this story to life!_**

**_Sooooo here we go._**

**_Oh and I am not JKR, though that would be nice._**

Chapter 21

**Nothing**

It was a very confused Gryffindor common room that James stepped into that night. The girls all looked at him with bemused smiles and were giggling behind their hands. The guys just looked at him wide eyed, a few of them laughed, a few were muttering under their breath in irritation.

"Uhm, you know you are missing half your uniform right?" Sirius said with a smirk.

"Huh?" James replied, pushing his hair from his eyes roughly, he was distracted, that much was obvious.

"Well, you are missing the entire upper half of your clothes Prongs…And your belt is in your hands and your button is undone. Have you been up to something naughty?" Remus said waggling his eyebrows.

Sirius was laughing and Pete was snickering at their friend's predicament.

"Whatever." James said and walked past them to the staircase.

The three remaining marauders looked at each other with raised eyebrows and darted after him up the tower.

oOoOoOoO

**Remus POV**

Remus was very nervous walking side by side with James to the entrance hall. They really should have forced him to stay at the castle today. He didn't know what was going on exactly but he knew it was about Lily, Hogsmede, and James seemed to be a scary combination of devastated and angry.

He walked on anyways, knowing that this was likely the dumbest place they could be going today. He glanced over James' head to Sirius who was on the left. He looked carefree and confident to most but Remus could see the hard look in his eyes, he was nervous about this too.

They walked in silence, mainly because at some point last night, James had stopped speaking and he hadn't started since. But as they cleared the last corridor and the entryway came into sight so did a beautiful Lily Evans.

Seriously, she was stunning.

**James POV**

She looked incredible. His breath and air caught in his chest as he watched the sunlight gleam off of the couple of blonde highlights in her fiery hair. He had to just walk by her, that was it, just walk by her. He tried, he really really did but then someone grabbed him by the shoulder and gave him a jovial pat on the back.

"Oi, hey Potter, I hear you gave the Gryffindor girls a show last night mate? Do me a favor and remember that my baby sis is a fourth year Gryffindor. Keep your clothes on because I am pretty sure you could take me even without Black and Lupin at your side so I don't wanna have to protect her innocent eyes you know. Thanks Mate. C'mon Lily let's head out."

James' head whipped around and he stared open mouthed at Lily hand in hand with Kai Chang, the Ravenclaw quidditch captain.

James knew he was staring, he knew he was getting ready to do something stupid, apparently so did his friends as Sirius started pulling on his arm and Remus was pushing to move him from the other side. He didn't budge.

"You are going on a date with the Ravenclaw quidditch captain two weeks before the match that I am banned from and that is going to cost your house the cup." He said in astonishment.

Lily looked extremely uncomfortable and pulled her hand from Kai's.

"James…" she said softly. There was so much feeling in her single word that everyone around them turned to see what could have caused Lily Evans to say James Potter's name like that.

James seemed oblivious to the crowd, he took her hands and pulled her to him.

"Lily, please, please don't do this. Don't go with him, go with me. Anywhere, I don't care where. We can go to the Slytherin common room and play cards with Mulciber. I don't care, just come with me. Please." He said.

"James, please don't do this here." She replied, attempting to pull her hand from his. He held on.

"Well where else would you have me do this? Please Lily. Just please. You know that you should be with me. This is stupid."

"Jamie, let's go, not here." Sirius muttered placing his hand on James' shoulder. He shook it off.

"Just come with me."

"I don't want to go with you, I want to go with Kai. I already agreed to go with him." She answered timidly.

"James, mate." Kai started before Sirius cut him off.

"Kai, just back off, you can have her in a minute just shove off for a second ok. You're not helping." He said with a fierce look.

Kai nodded and backed up. Remus took the opportunity to take Lily's arm tugging her from James' grasp.

"Prongs, just go with Sirius."

"I will go if she does." He replied stubbornly.

"James I am not going out with you." Lily said firmly.

"Really? Really?" his voice started to rise, Sirius put his face in his hands and Remus squeezed Lily's shoulder comfortingly. "You aren't going out with me? Then what in the blood yhell have we been doing for the last 6 months?"

"James." Sirius warned.

Lily looked at him shocked, Remus gulped.

"James please don't do this." She said softly, her voice quivering.

"Don't do this? I don't see why it matters. If we aren't dating than it shouldn't bother you at all." He said folding his arms over his chest. "What have you been doing with me if you don't want to date me?"

"I don't have to date you to like you James."

"Lily don't you get it? Everyone in this school knows that I love you, but you. I have told you a thousand times that I love you and it doesn't even seem to phase you. You love me too. I know you do." He implored.

"But I don't. I don't love you. I don't love anyone. I wish I did, I really wish I could tell you that I love you."

"Then tell me damn it."

"But I don't" she said sadly.

He grabbed the front of her fitted purple shirt and pulled her to himself.

"Yes you do. I know you do. You have to feel something."

"But I don't James. You are a friend, one that I have a great time with, one that I want to keep. Please stop this."

"A friend…A friend…Are you effing kidding me? You can look at me and honestly say you feel nothing at all."

"I feel nothing at all but friendship. Nothing." she muttered.

"Then kiss me, kiss me and look me in my eyes and tell me then that there is nothing between us."

"Mr. Potter. I am going to have to ask you to come to my office." McGonagall said gently. She was ignored.

"James. Stop." Sirius said urgently gripping his shoulder again, and this time James jerked his arm out of Sirius' grasp with more anger than before. He was losing control.

He took either side of her face and pulled her to him, crushing his lips to hers. At this point everyone that had planned on going to Hogsmede was watching the show.

It was obvious to everyone that saw that Lily did not just let James kiss her, she fell into the kiss with him. She wrapped an arm around his waist and held his pants at his lower back. Her other hand found his hair and she gripped it tightly. He could taste her tears on his lips. After a few second he pulled away and looked at her in satisfaction.

"Lily I love you with everything that I am. I would do anything for you. I would give anything, I know you feel something for me too."

"Nothing James. Nothing, I feel nothing at all for you. Not in that way. There is nothing." She cried as her tears poured down her cheeks.

"You are lying." He said

"James!" Sirius said forcefully pulling back on his shirt.

Angry at the world James turned and caught Sirius with a right hook, directly in his jaw.

"Shit! Damn it James!" Remus yelled, walking away from Lily and going over to their friend who was sitting on the floor rubbing his face.

"James!" Lily shrieked as did McGonagall.

"Lily please. Please, I would give anything not to want you. Not to love you. It hurts, bad. I don't want to be like this, but it is your fault. At least, it is now. Please, don't do this."

"I am not doing this, you are. You are the one doing this. Why can't we just be friends?" she yelled back, her tears giving way to anger.

"Because I fucking love you. I can't be around you without loving you. So what you are saying is that it is friends or nothing?"

She nodded.

"Yes. I want to be friends, just friends. I want to be your friend James. I want to be around you, I like being around you. But as friends, it's that or nothing. It is your choice." She said forcefully, knowing that James would never choose to not be around her.

"Nothing." He said simply before turning and walking away up the staircase.

**_And now I am running off to another state….EEEeeeeep don't hate me.._**


	22. Chapter 22: Mayhem

**_Yeeee, sorry so sorry. _**

**_So so sorry._**

**_I will make up for it I swear! Eeeeek sorry!_**

**_Thank you for all reviews and PMs_**

Chapter 22

**Mayhem**

**Remus POV**

He watched as James turned on his heel and walked off. He watched in utter shock as Lily turned, tears rolling down her face, and fell into his arms. Sirius looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"Just go after him. I'll meet you." He said nodding his head towards Lily.

"Right. I'll get him, Right." He nodded and bolted off after James.

"Mr. Lupin, I trust you can handle this situation?" McGonagall said sternly, looking at Lily.

"Yes professor. I will take care of it." He muttered, pulling Lily away from the crowd and into an unused classroom followed by Kai.

"Look Lupin, I can handle this. Why don't you go play with that dick you call a friend." He said.

Remus let go of Lily's shoulder and turned swiftly to face the Ravenclaw.

"I know that he was hitting on your date right in front of you, and I can see how that would be disturbing to you but he is not nor has he ever been a dick. And if I ever hear you talk about one of my friends that way again, you will sincerely regret it. Now if Lils still wants to go with you to Hogsmede that's up to her. But why she would want to date a bloody wanker is beyond me."

Kai's face was red with anger as he walked over to Lily and held out his hand.

"Let's go Lily, I have a lot planned for today. We need to get out of here."

She looked up with her tear stained face and shook her head.

"I can't, I can't go. I am sorry. But I can't." she said, breaking into renewed sobs.

Kai looked furious, he spit out an expletive and stormed out of the room.

Remus hugged her for a minute. Before she pulled away, tears pouring down her face.

"I'm sorry, you are James' friend, I know you want to be with him, he needs you." She said softly, sniffing the tears away.

"Well, yes. But you are my friend too, and I want you to be alright. And I messaged Alice and she is already on her way back."

She nodded mutely.

"Lily."

She looked up and met his eyes.

"You love him." He said gently.

Tears filled her eyes and she sat down on the floor, cradling her face in her hands.

"I know." She muttered.

"Then why won't you tell him?" Remus said flustered at her acceptance.

"I just can't, I can't be in a real relationship. I don't want to be hurt and he or no one else, can hurt me if I don't let them. I won't let him."

"Lils, he would rather die than hurt you."

"It doesn't mean that he won't." she cried softly.

The door slammed open and Alice came barreling through. Remus passed her off to her best friend.

He took off through the castle at breakneck speed searching for three boys that could quite literally disappear in this school and never be found. Sirius had the map, James always always always had the cloak, and they knew these grounds better than Dumbledore himself. This was going to require thought and deduction.

He knew James wouldn't go to the Room of Requirement, it would hold too many memories for him. They wouldn't be in any unused classroom, he wouldn't want interrupted. Knowing James, and judging by the way he had slugged Sirius moments ago, he was destroying something. Where could he go that he could tear up whatever he wanted.

oOoOoOo

It had taken a lot of finagling to get into the secret passage under the willow on a Saturday, in broad daylight. But he was standing in the sitting room of the shack listening closely, trying to decipher where in the house the other three were. He heard someone curse upstairs so he followed the sound. It was surprisingly quiet for the reason they were here. He walked into the largest bedroom when he heard the old mattress squeak.

In front of him was a scene he had not expected. Pete was sitting in the tattered chair that always sat in the corner, Sirius was sitting, holding his bruised jaw, on the bottom of the bed. A respectable distance away, at the top of the bed sat James. He was cross legged and hunched forward, his head in his hands, his face covered by his hair. He listened to Sirius speak softly.

"Jamie, it isn't going to do any good to pretend that we aren't here. Just talk to us. Let us help you."

Remus watched the rise and fall of his friends back, he watched closer and saw the slight trembling in his hands and neck. On the air his wolf senses could smell the bitter scent of salt…Tears…and a bit of blood.

The blood was obvious as Sirius spit on the floor and it was sprayed with blood tinged saliva.

"You good Pads?" Remus asked as he stepped farther into the room.

Two of the three boys looked up, the third just continued to shake softly, trying to hide the fact that he was actually crying.

"Yeah, he busted my lip, that is all." He said muffled.

Remus nodded his head and walked right up to where James was sitting and knelt by the side of the bed. Sirius looked nervous but said nothing. Pete looked horrified at Remus' nerve. Remus placed his elbows on the bed and leaned in so he was close to James.

"Jamie, we know you are hurt. We know you are pissed. We know that you are confused. But we cannot possibly know how that all feels bottled up inside of you. Now, I know you aren't going to tell us. So we are going to go back to the castle, unless you want us to stay."

James turned his head to the side and Remus could see the unshed tears glistening like crystals against the hazel behind them, he could see the tracks left on his face.

He said nothing so Remus stood and motioned for the other two to do the same.

Pete stood and walked out quickly, Remus waited at the door for Sirius who was looking solemnly at James. He turned and made it to his side, they were stepping out when they heard.

"I don't want to be alone. Just…Stay…But I don't want to talk about it…"

The two boys nodded, Remus headed back in and Sirius continued out.

"Pads, we aren't leaving where are you going?" Remus said, confused.

"This is going to require enough firewiskey and food to last us until dinner tomorrow. I am taking Pete, and we will be back!"

oOoOoOoO

By Monday the entire school had either heard about or been witness to the James and Lily blowup. At breakfast that morning and in Charms right after Lily was an obvious mess. Her normally perfectly styled hair was pulled into a floppy flyaway ponytail, her uniform shirt was untucked in the front and she was wearing her tie loose around her neck. She looked sick, or tiered.

But when you saw James you wouldn't have known anything was even wrong with him. His hair was its usual tousled mess and his eyes were shimmering with excitement. If anything he looked happier and more energetic than usual.

Right now he was attempting to adopt a pitiful expression as Flitwick was attempting to scold him and Sirius for charming their quills to fence on their desk top. They were supposed to be working on the bubblehead charm.

OoOoOoO

Later that week found Sirius and James running full tilt through the dungeons screaming like mad. Everyone in their wake stopped and stepped back, and good thing as next minute no less than 15 suits of armor appeared tromping after the boys wearing purple tutus and wielding their axes.

oOoOoOoO

The day before the final quidditch match of the year the school should have shut down and let everyone stay in their rooms. It had become obvious at this point. Sirius and James dealt with stress and anger by playing and pranking. And today they were irate, and the Ravenclaw and Slytherin taunting had only fuelled the fire.

At breakfast all four marauders were suspiciously missing. Causing McGonagall to stop eating and walk out of the great hall, anxious to find them. However when she opened the doors chaos reigned, red and gold paint fell from the ceiling. Gold balloons fell and then burst a foot from student's heads, raining down scarlet glitter upon everyone. Every students hair changed Gold, every professor's red. A very realistic lion's roar could be heard throughout the entire school.

The student's all stood frozen, fearful of what was yet to come as their professor sighed deeply and threw the doors open all of the way to allow them to head off to their classes.

That afternoon, anyone walking to the greenhouses found themselves stuck in stinksap, the charms corridor was so slick that students and professors were seen sliding on their backsides across the floor all day. Everyone that walked under the archway into the transfiguration hall sprouted animal ears or tails. Every potion created by a Slytherin student blew up. And to make matters worse the professors couldn't figure out how to stop the madness. They needed Dumbledore but he was gone at the ministry for the day.

As dinner approached a mob of students could be found milling outside of the great hall. They parted as the four boys walked happily up to them.

"What are you all waiting for?" James asked curiously, no sign of a grin on his face.

"What is going to happen to us if we go in there?" A brave Ravenclaw 4th year asked.

Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"How should we know?"

And they all walked brazenly into the hall. The others watched incredulously as they sat down and nothing happened. Slowly the Ravenclaw boy that had spoken up stepped in and when nothing happened he bolted to his seat and tried to eat as fast as he could.

Everyone was seated and eating nervously when Sirius felt a tap on his shoulder and they heard a familiar

"Ahem" behind them.

Sirius and James' heads popped up to see the ashen faces of Remus and Peter looking behind them. The two black haired boys turned to see Professor McGonagall standing behind them.

"You two should be glad you are already benched tomorrow, because if you weren't you would have been after today. As it stands, you all four have detention, every Friday and Saturday night for the remainder of the school term.

"But Professor, you don't even know that any of this was us." Remus said beseechingly.

"I have no doubt Mister Lupin. None at all. I don't know what you were doing to keep these two under control for most of this year but I suggest you go back to that method. This is ridiculous." She said coldly before turning to the head table and walking off.

"Damn it." Remus muttered. James and Sirius merely grinned, Peter shrugged it off. As long as they were in together he was fine.

"Well as long as we are already in detention. I guess we should finish off with a." James said before Sirius slashed the air with his wand and the whole great hall shook with a loud bang.

Soon the new fireworks that Pete had been eyeing at the beginning of the year were everywhere. They were exploding at a terrifying rate sending sparklers and pinwheels flying. Some students ran for it, others sat and clapped appreciatively.

Lily looked over at James sadly, he seemed fine, he was leaning against the table watching the spectacle above him laughing, sitting side by side with Gryffindor chaser Morgan Patil. Sirius was smiling as Soaryn came over and smacked his shoulder lightly with a huge smile on her face. He took her hand and left the hall with a huge smile on his face. James seemed nonplussed like he couldn't have been happier.

Remus turned as if he felt her looking and caught her eye. He smiled weakly at her and she stood and followed the giggling couple from the hall.

oOoOoOoO

The game had been underway for about an hour and it was a surprise that James still had a voice. He was screaming at the field, attempting to direct his team from the sidelines but it just was not working. They were failing miserably.

"Damn it! What are you doing! You hit the bludger at the other team!" he was screaming relentlessly as he watched his stand in beater knock his own partner off her broom.

Sirius looked appalled and merely held his face in his hands, wishing that this would soon end. And it did end, badly for the Gryffindors. They lost 420 to 30. The worst loss in 10 years, James was beside himself. The entire school watched him storm out of the stands and across the field to stand in front of the slytherin stands. He glared at them, hate plain on his face.

"Mr. Potter I suggest you go to your common room if you do not want to be expelled." Professor McGonagall said softly as she took his elbow in her hand and pulled him from the green and silver clad students.

James looked at her and pulled his arm from her grasp, trudging away like his world had ended.

oOoOoOoOoO

The entire school held its breath over the next week. Surely after his display of anger James was up to something. But nothing came. In fact no one had even seen him speak aloud that week. He would lean in and whisper to one of the other three Marauders but that was it, no snotty remarks, no big headed prattiness, no answering professor's, nothing. It was eerie how silent the school was without his voice.

They were five weeks from exams when in defense they were posed with a new task. They had to learn how to produce a patronus. To pass the class it had to at least have an indistinct form but extra credit would be given to those that had a corporeal patronus.

"Students, I want to see all of this week's progress on you patronus' at the end of class. Those who have not made sufficient strides will have homework, all others will not. Begin." Their professor said before standing to walk the class.

He saw the four boys standing to the side, laughing at one another rather than practicing.

"So gentleman I am taking it that you all can produce your patronus to standard since you are not doing your work?"

"Yup, that's about right." Sirius said rudely.

Pete nodded James sighed like he was bored as Remus muttered,

"Yes sir."

"Well then show us, your corporeal patronus. One at a time. You first Black." He said with a disbelieving tone.

Sirius smirked and raised his wand.

"Expecto Patronum!" he shouted and from his want burst a huge silver bear like dog. The students all stopped their individual practice to watch it bounce around the room playfully. It wagged its tail and hopped from side to side panting. Even Lily laughed as it weaved its way in between her and Alice.

"Mr. Lupin." The professor said tensely.

Remus waived his wand and screwed up his face before shouting the incantation.

Many students shuffled backwards as the silvery snarling wolf emerged, but as soon as it saw the dog it stopped its vicious behavior and sat on its haunches watching the other patronus warily. As they faded the professor looked at Peter and nodded, intending him to go next.

It took a moment for the students to realize that the small rodent running the floor was not real.

As they all waited for it to disappear several students began to practice their own patronus' again.

"Mr. Potter, you're up."

James nodded and just as he raised his wand Lily's squeal of delight distracted him. He looked over at her just as her silvery doe galloped towards him. His jaw dropped to his chest. He looked over at the other marauders, Sirius was sharing the look of shock, Peter looked confused and was looking between Lily and James so fast his head could have snapped off, and Remus stood with his arms crossed and a smug look on his face. James looked back at Lily and felt the heat grow in his stomach as she smiled happily at the doe that was walking around her. He turned and stalked towards the classroom door slamming it open, causing the entire class to jump. But before he could escape he was jerked back in by the Professor.

"No you don't. Patronus. Now!" he demanded.

James scowled at him, his look was so angry that even the marauders recoiled from it. He looked defiantly at Lily and raised his wand.

"Expecto Patronum!" he shouted.

And with a blinding silver light a huge Stag pranced forth, heading directly for the doe, it nuzzled her head they seemed to play, dancing around one another gracefully. The entire class held their breath, Lily looked stricken as pain seared across James' face before he walked out.


	23. Chapter 23: Summer Girls, Summer Fun

**_Thank you for the reviews we are already in the 80's! _**

**_That is awesome!_**

**_So this one is probably not going to ease the Lily/James I need to know what happens mood…Sorry about that…_**

**_This is just random tid bits of Summertime with our favorite foursome._**

**_There are some runons in here as James gets carried away with his thoughts._**

**_This is pretty much a filler to get to the next chapter._**

**_I hate the summer chapters I get so bored without Hogwarts to play in.._**

Chapter 23 

**Summer Girls, Summer Fun**

The train ride seemed faster than ever this summer as they made their way back towards London. This year all four boys were staying at Potter Manor with James' parents. James' was thrilled to have the company and the distraction and the other three were just happy not to have to deal with their own families.

Getting off of the train James watched solemnly as Lily walked over and hugged her mum. She waved to Remus who waived back with a small smile.

"You aren't supposed to be friendly with her" Sirius muttered darkly.

James sighed as he continued forward, eyes downcast.

"James doesn't care that Lily and I are friendly to one another. He never did before and he doesn't now." Remus said airily glancing over to see James' reaction.

He shrugged slightly.

"She can be friends with whomever she chooses. She obviously wants friends, she should have them. I don't care, I am nobody to her."

"James." Remus chastised.

Sirius tutted him and Peter hit him lightly in the back of the head.

"If you were nobody than she wouldn't have wanted to be your friend, she wouldn't have been shagging you, she wouldn't have been crying when you told her you wouldn't be her friend, and she certainly wouldn't have the complimentary patronus to yours. You are such a prat I swear." Sirius said in irritation, stopping when he saw the little dark haired witch running towards them.

It took seconds for Mrs. Potter to reach her boys and she gripped James tightly in a hug, though he was head and shoulders taller than her now.

"Hey Mum." James said before allowing her to kiss his cheek.

He looked up and smiled as his father walked up to the group.

He pulled Sirius into a quick hug before freeing James from his mother, who turned her sights on Sirius. Once Sirius was loose from Madeline Potter's arms she glared at both dark headed boys and held out her hands.

"Mum, we are of age." James protested meekly.

She pursed her lips and jerked her hand indicating that she was serious.

James sighed and reluctantly put his hand into his back pocket, Sirius had already placed his wand in her hand the first time she requested it. Taking James' wand firmly in her grasp she turned to Pete and Remus.

"Now I know that I have no right to discipline the two of you. But if you let either of them touch your wands I will take them too, do you understand."

Remus and Peter both gulped and nodded their heads fervently agreeing that they would not help James and Sirius get into trouble.

Later that night all of the boys were settled into their rooms, James and Sirius in their adjoining rooms and Pete and Remus across the hall in two guest suits. They were all in James' room messing about with his mounds of stuff.

"You are such a spoiled prat." Remus said as he fiddled with the sterling silver gobstones James had laying in a crystal bowl on his shelf.

"Thanks mate, that is so sweet of you." James said dryly.

"You really are, I mean who has a working solar system encased in crystal floating at their ceiling?" Pete said looking up at the stars twinkling in awe.

"Sirius, here and at Grimmuld Place." James replied as Sirius shuffled his feet and blushed.

"Point made. Spoiled Prats, the both of you." Remus muttered.

"Yeah, well, you couldn't survive without us." Sirius said defensively.

"Oi, you are right, whatever would we do without 57 detentions in one year?" Pete said in a woeful voice, causing Remus to laugh uncontrollably and James to chuck a pillow at his head.

Pete tried to dodge but James was a chaser and captain after all and it was true to mark, he fell off the spinning desk chair and landed with a fwump onto the carpeted floor.

"Do you think that is why she won't date me?" James mused, seemingly out of nowhere.

The three boys were stunned as this was the first he had talked about this willingly.

"What do yu mean?" Sirius said slowly.

"Do I act like a spoiled prat? I mean, I know I have stuff, a lot of it. I know she knows that, she has stayed at my house for Merlin's sake. Do I act stuck up, is she embarrassed to be my girlfriend because I am a spoiled rich kid?"

"You aren't a spoiled rich kid!" Pete said defensively.

"Pete, you just said I was." James reminded him.

Peter closed his mouth pressing it into a straight line. Sirius scowled at both he and Remus.

"Yes, you are a spoiled rich kid. Both of you are. But you don't act like it, at least not a lot. You are both pig headed and stubborn and yes when it comes to some things you can be a bit cocky…But you are also kind and brave. You are loyal and honest. Sirius you are always yourself, no matter who tries to change you, you are true to what you believe. James you are compassionate and giving. Most spoiled rich boys can't say that about themselves. You may be spoiled rotten but you are good guys. Lily knows that, James. It has nothing to do with your money." Remus said softly.

"Well then why?" James said softly.

Remus smiled at him in pity, not knowing how to answer that question.

"Awe Remmy, I didn't know how much you loved us!" Sirius squealed like a girl before leaping from James' bed onto him, pinning him to the floor.

OoOoOoOoO

**REMUS POV**

It was hot, really hot. July had turned into a scorching month and James' parents had decided that the best way to deal with the heat was to head to the Canary island beach house for the month. After notifying Mr. Lupin and the Pettigrews that they were going out of the country, they took all four boys with them.

Today James and Sirius were sitting astride their surf boards, the very same that they used on the stairs at Hogwarts, talking to a group of girls who were floating around on their own boards a little ways off the coast. Pete was messing around on a skim board on shore as Remus walked along beside him chatting along the way. Pete tipped a bit and as Remus put his hand out to stop his fall he ran into someone.

"Oh, shit." He said as he was shoved sideways by a falling, flailing Peter, and he grabbed hold of the only thing he could reach. Which happened to be a very pretty blonde, in a pink bathing suit.

They landed in a pile on the sand, with Remus unfortunately on the bottom gripping the poor girl's shoulders and Pete laying on top of both of them.

"Sorry." Pete mumbled, flustered around the girl as always.

"S' alright, just get off." Remus said, his voice muffled by the unknown girl's hair.

He felt Peter's weight lift so he sat up, sitting the girl up with him, she ended up in his lap, both of them blushing to the very roots of their hair. She stood quickly and he followed suit, both of them brushing the sand of their selves.

"I am so so sorry, I didn't mean to grab you like that." Remus said, his face was pinker than her swim suit.

"No, it's ok, your friend was falling, I understand. I'm alright. Are you? We all landed on you after all." She said quickly, trying to discreetly adjust her suit.

"Yeah I'm fine, really. Pete was up quick and, well you don't weigh much at all." He muttered, turning redder.

"Oh, right, well I'm glad you are alright." She held out her hand "I'm Gabriella." She said timidly.

He smiled and wiped his hands on his shorts.

"Hi, I'm Remus. Nice to meet you, bump into you, knock you over…Well whatever I did anyways it was nice to do it." He was so nervous he even pushed his hand through his hair giving it James' signature fly away look.

His face was so red now that even Pete couldn't stifle his laugh and he walked away from the pair shaking his head.

"Do you, uhm, want to go get a smoothie, or ice cream or something? It's the least I can do for bowling you over like that." He said nervously.

"Sure. I'd like that." She said with a grin.

oOoOoOoO

**James POV**

They were paddling to shore, it was harder than normal as he and Sirius each had a bathingsuit clad girl on their boards clinging to their backs.

"Is it just me, or is Remmy, walking away with a girl?" Sirius said in awe, watching their normally shy friend walking down the beach talking with a blonde girl.

"He is, and a hot girl from the looks of it…" James said, astounded.

"Hey." The girl on James' board protested.

"Don't worry about it babe. There are more than just one hot girl on the waves today. You happen to be two of them." Sirius replied coolly, obviously thinking he was giving a compliment.

"We just happen to be two of them? It was that random?" the girl holding to his waist said haughtily.

"Well, yeah…" Sirius replied as James shook his head, knowing this wasn't heading anywhere good.

"And you expect us to stay with you after that?" the brunette with James asked.

Sirius shrugged.

"I mean, you can, Well you can stay with Jamie, I however have to go talk to my girlfriend in 20 minutes so, you can hang out for a bit and we can catch up later."

James couldn't help it, he burst into laughter, tipping his board sideways.

When they finally made it to shore both girls stomped off without looking back, James was still doubled over.

"What was wrong with them?" Sirius asked, confused.

"Mate, I dunno how you ever managed to talk Soaryn into dating you, or any of the others into broom closets but please, for your sake, don't let her go." James weazed out in between chuckles.

"Whatever, lets go catch up to Rem, and see where he is headed to, where do you think Pete is?" Sirius said looking around for their missing friend.

James shrugged and ran off after Remus.

oOoOoooOoO

"And his face was so red I thought he had attempted a color change charm" Peter cackled as he laid on Sirius' bed in his and James' shared room at the beach house.

Remus was indeed a bright shade of red in that moment, he did not look thrilled at the retelling of the tale.

"Look it was no big deal." He muttered before glaring at the three boys that were all laughing like lunatics.

"Rem, by the time we had caught up with you, you were still pink, you never get embarrassed. She was smoking hot by the way." Sirius said with a grin.

"She really was." Remus replied softly, shaking his head as he walked out the door, across the hall into his and Peter's shared room.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**James POV**

James was sitting against his surf board that was propped up in the sand, he had a muggle soda pop in one hand and was playing with a strand of brunette hair with his other. He smiled contentedly at Remus who was sitting under an umbrella with Gabi, they had met up everyday so far, and Gabi had brought her little sister Greyson with her to visit a week ago. Gracie was 16 and everything that James was looking for in a girl right now. She was flighty, and silly and fun, she was not interested in a relationship, she liked to snog, though that was all they had done, she was rebellious and preferred getting in trouble to have fun instead of listening and being bored, her rebellion also reached into her swimming wear and her shorts…They were much shorter than was considered proper. She was from America, here for her summer break so she knew they were nothing serious. And best of all, she was bloody gorgeous.

Today Sirius was trying to teach Pete how to surf, it wasn't going well, and he and Remus were hanging out on the beach.

"How can they read during the summer? They are insane." She said, flipping her hair over the shoulder farthest from James, causing his hand to fall onto her shoulder.

"Hmmmm? Oh, Remmy and Gabi? I dunno, I can't even read during term let alone on breaks. We should find something better to do." James said tracing her swimsuit strap reveling in the feel of her sun kissed skin.

She giggled happily and leaned back onto her elbows.

"Do we need to go somewhere more private or will here be just fine? I like the sand" she said softly.

He grinned as he stood and pulled her to her feet.

"Private I think….But I bet we can find a deserted stretch of beach somewhere." He replied. "Moony, meet you guys back at the pier in an hour…No…two hours."

Remus nodded and sighed. He thought that James was using Gracie as a rebound…Which he was, she knew it and didn't mind one bit. As she had told her sister, have you seen him? I am not saying no to that.

James smiled as he conveniently found a little stretch of beach that seemed completely private. He fingered Pete's wand that was in his pocket and thanked Merlin for his parents absence this morning. Gracie sat down on the sand closest to the ebb and flow of the water. It splashed up around her hips and ran over her legs, James sat behind her pulling her against his bare chest and letting his legs lay to either side of her hips.

"You leave in three days?" she asked softly.

"Yup, we go back to London. Our school lists arrive and we have to do some shopping. Remus is likely going to get head boy so he will be incorrigible…That will take some pranking to squash." James muttered.

"Head boy?" Gracie said, another English term having thrown her off.

"Yeah, like uhm, he has the best grades and is in charge of the other students, kind of like uhm…well there are students that have more power than normal they patrol and stuff, the head boy and head girl have to be in the highest grade and they are in charge of all the others." James said lamely, not sure how to explain.

"Like…Student government?" she said confused.

"Yeah, I guess. But Remus is sure to get it."

"Oh so he has the highest grades in your school?"

"Erm well no…"

"Oh? So the head girl does, so Remus has the highest grades for the boys?"

"Well no, not exactly." He replied, pushing his hair from his face.

"Oh well, then who does…I am confused." She mumbled

He laughed and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Well, Sirius and I are a pretty even tie for highest grades. Remus and Lily, Lily is who will likely get head girl, they are both right behind us but we have higher grades in Transfiguration than either of them. But no one in their right mind would give me or Sirius head boy, I mean we might would blow up the entire castle." James rambled.

"Transfigurwhat? And what castle?" she said.

James blanched at his error.


	24. Chapter 24: When Nothing is Everything

**_Most of this chapter will be in Lily's POV it starts at the beginning of break. _**

**_If you have trouble following it, let me know I will switch it._**

Chapter 24

** When Nothing is Everything**

She could feel, rather than see, James behind her. She knew he was just feet away from her and there was nothing she could do, nothing. She knew if she tried to speak to him it would only start a yelling match on the platform. They had gone back to the original James and Lily relationship, or rather he had. He had completely turned the tables since the patronus incident, she wondered if this was how she had made him feel all of these years.

Now he barely acted like she existed if she said something in class he would roll his eyes, if he overheard her telling a joke or talking to a friend he would say something sarcastic or rude. That usually ended with her walking away and crying on her own or her blowing up at him for being a jackass. She tried to keep her temper in check with him, she knew he was hurt and pissed and she couldn't blame him for that. At least not anymore.

She knew what it was to be without the person you loved. She loved James, she knew that she did. She didn't want to be with anyone else, there was no point in even trying, but he could hurt her. He had the power to hurt her more than she had ever been hurt before. She had felt pain, and knew what it was to feel your heart break into two, but James held the power to break her heart into thousands.

She walked over to her mother and gave her a hug, her mum squeezed her shoulders and walked with her through the barrier.

"Who was that boy you waved to Lily?" she said with her small high pitched voice.

"Remus Lupin, he is the other Gryffindor prefect in my year." She muttered.

"Oh, I see. He is very handsome. So tall." Her mum said with a smile.

"It's not like that, he is a friend. Certainly not a boyfriend. Merlin, James would kill us both." She muttered.

"Oh, who is this James?" her mother said with raised eyebrows.

Lily sighed.

"He is Remus' friend. The one with the insanely messy black hair." She said in a flat voice.

"Ahhh, well why would he kill you both?"

"Mum do we have to talk about the boys roaming Hogwarts? I am not dating, I won't be dating so can we just end the subject?"

Her mother pursed her lips but said no more.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Two weeks later Lily was sitting on a barstool at the breakfast bar in her kitchen listening to Petunia wax on and on about her upcoming wedding. She watched her mother nod and smile happily as she listened to the newest details. From what Lily could picture it was going to look like a peach colored ball of lace threw up in a fancy ball room. Completely not her style, very much her sisters'.

"So Lily, as a bridesmaid you have to have a date, you have to dance at the reception. Who are you bringing or do I need to arrange you one?" Petunia said shortly.

She was as thrilled that Lily was in the wedding as Lily was about being in it. Their mother was forcing it, she had said she wouldn't fund the blessed event if Lily was not in it. As such, Lily obliged and was going to wear a hideous dress in a hideous color and apparently bring a date.

"I am sure I can find a date by next spring. I don't need your help." Lily said, irritated.

"What about that Remus fellow? Or, what was his name? James?" her mum supplied.

Petunia had a sour look on her face, she didn't want someone from Lily's school to come.

"If I bring Remus it will be as a friend and James and I would murder each other before the night was out if we came together."

"Lily, you are such a beautiful and bright girl why don't you find yourself a boyfriend." Violet Evans said sweetly running her hand through her daughters scarlet hair, the hair she had inherited from her father.

Petunia smirked and Lily huffed.

"Mum you know that I don't want a boyfriend. I don't want to be married, but Tuny does, go to her wedding."

"I am going to her wedding, but I would like to go to yours too. I want to know that if I die you won't be alone. When you leave school next year you are going to be all alone, I want you to be happy and have a future, not end up alone."

"Mum, just because you get married it doesn't mean you won't end up alone, I would think you knew that." Lily said coldly.

"Lily, that was out of line." Petunia said angrily

Her mother looked at her with pain in her eyes.

"Lily Elise Evans, I am not alone. I have both of my daughters and I love my husband with all of my heart, I always will. Whether he is here with us or not, he loved us all."

"Mum, he's not here is he? You did end up alone, and you are sad, I have seen you cry. And we are sad. You can't tell me that it doesn't hurt you that he left, he is gone and he isn't coming back. I don't want that. I would rather just be alone." Lily said simply.

"Lily, I know that you are still hurt by your father. But you are old enough to know that he never meant to never come back."

"That doesn't matter. He never came back." Lily interrupted defiantly. "He left, he didn't even say anything, he just left, he left all of us." Her lip trembled.

"He's dead, it isn't like he abandoned daddy's little flower princess." Petunia said coldly.

"Both of you stop. I think we should have had this conversation long before now." Violet said as she leaned against the counter.

"First off, Petunia your father loved you very much. You were his first born, if you could remember the way he doted on you when you were born, and the way he walked with you and danced with you…You remember him doing that with Lily because you were older, but he did it with you too. As you got older and went to school you didn't want to play with daddy anymore, you got into makeup and jewelry and friends and Lily was always the one to be playing in the pond or outside with him. You stuck to me and she clung to her daddy but you were both equally loved by both of us. You just spent more time shopping with me while Lily was fishing with your father.

And Lily, your father did not leave us, contrary to your belief. I know it is painful for you to think about his death. I know you have just pretended that it did not happen, but it did. He got in that car crash and it killed him. He didn't come home because he couldn't, not because he chose to."

Lily felt her eyes grow hot with tears as she stared down at the marble bar top.

"He could have taken me with him. I was home for break and never got to see him and he didn't even want me with him." She said softly.

"He was coming right home, You were messing about with Petunia, and you were actually getting along for a minute and he didn't want to ruin it. He was going to the store, that was it, just going to pick up some things for dinner and popcorn for a movie that night. He didn't abandon you, he didn't forget about you, he just left for a minute that turned into a lifetime.

Lily had you gone with him you would have died too, what would I have done, you would have had me bury the love of my life and my baby? You would have me broken beyond repair? A mother does not ever get past losing her child, I would not have survived if either of you girls were gone, you are the only reason I survived your father's death. You, the two of you get me through every moment.

No, Lily just sit and let me finish. You don't want to meet a boy, you don't want a relationship because you don't want to lose it. Let me tell you, I do not regret loving your father. His love lit up my life. He made me know what it was to breathe, to live. Without him my world is dull but it is because of him that I know what color is at all. I would rather have never lived myself than to have not had the years that I had with him, even if they were cut short. I knew more love in those 15 years than some people will ever know. And I got the two most amazing miracles from it. Don't give up that chance for fear. Fear gives way to a sad and lonely death. I want beauty and love and happiness for you both. Don't lose that. Don 't give up that chance."

OoOoOoOoO

**James POV**

"Ok sweet heart, it was so nice meeting you too, I hope you have a wonderful remainder of summer."

"Yes Mrs. Potter." Gracie said dreamily.

James walked her to the door,

"I'm sorry we are leaving early. Mum said something came up with work so we have to go tomorrow, tell Gabi that it was great meeting her for me."

She nodded and walked away, not saying anything. James flinched as his mother spun him around to face her.

"James Potter! This is why we do not let you around muggle girls, you get all befuddled and you loose your tongue!" she said sternly.

"Is she going to be alright?" he said softly.

He shuffled his feet as his father came and stood in front of him.

"She will be fine, it was a very mild memory charm, it won't take long to wear off, you aren't to contact her again."

"But what about Gabi and Rem, I mean they really hit it off…."

"She is not Gabi and you are not Remus. Don't worry about them, don't let me catch you writing that girl. And you are forbidden to date muggle girls until you know how to keep your mouth shut when your pants are down."

"Dad! My pants weren't down!" James protested

"Yes, well that is where your intentions were and why your mouth was spilling secrets. If you can't snog and be silent than you can only snog the girls that know."

"Dad please, mum is right there."

"Your mum knows full well what 17 year old wizards get up to, and Merlin knows we need thicker walls because if we didn't before you and Sirius turned 14 or so we certainly do now, talking quietly is not your strong suit son. Now go meet your friends and tell them that we are leaving tonight."

"But Rem.."

"Bring Pete and Sirius back with you and tell Remus he has until 8:00 and then we are leaving at 8:15. Go, now." Charles said sternly as James turned and left, face red and head down.

oOoOoOoO

They had been home for a a week and a half when the boys were sitting at the breakfast table. Remus and Pete were browsing through their school lists that had just arrived while James and Sirius were taking third helpings of breakfast.

"Are you even going to open your letters?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Hmm, no, I mean they are the same as yours without the prefect mumbojumbo." Sirius said stuffing another piece of bacon into his mouth.

"I can't believe you didn't get head boy, if it is Snape I am going to hang myself."

"James! If I ever hear you talk like that again, it will be the last you speak for a while. Now get your bum off that chair, get your letter and Sirius' and read them. You have different classes than Remus and Peter and you need you book lists. Don't look at me like that. Up you get." Mrs. Potter said shooing him out of his high backed dining chair.

He stood and took his and Sirius' letters off the mantle. And tossed Sirius his before sitting down opposite him at the table. He watched as Sirius' blue eyes scanned the parchment lazily and then he broke the wax seal of his own. As he lifted the letter something rolled out and landed on the floor.

"What was that?" Sirius said peering under the table.

"Was it your Qudditch badge?" Pete asked.

"No, I have that already, it is packed in with my robes." James replied sliding out of the chair and slipping under the table.

Remus poked his head under the table and watched as James looked around for whatever fell. As his hand fell upon it and he picked it up his eyes locked with Remus' when they both took in the sight of the gleaming golden badge.

"James Charles, I am done playing with you, get up at this table and quit, what do you think you are up to?" his mother said as she saw him on his knees on the floor.

He sat up on his chair holding the badge in his hand, and placed it on the table in front of him. The entire room had gone quiet, the silence was deafening, the only one showing any reaction other than shock was Remus who was smiling brilliantly. There was no sound at all until Sirius burst out into hysterical laughter. James looked over at him, not sure why he was laughing.

"It has to be a joke, a prank, Dumbledore must be getting us back for all the mayhem we caused this year…Right?" Sirius said sobering as James held up the attached letter.

"I don't think it is…My name is on the badge, and on the letter…I…I don't think I understand this at all. Head boy? Me? There is no way, I have been in detention more than anyone else in the history of Hogwarts." James spluttered

"Jamie dear, I am certain that you and Sirius share that record actually. And I would guess that Dumbledore has a plan to stop those detentions."

James glowered, Sirius' jaw dropped, Pete looked mildly confused and Remus started laughing.

"No, it makes perfect sense Prongs. You have the best grades in the year, of anyone, Sirius included. Remember what McGonagall said? For us to do whatever it was to make you stop the pranking? Well it has to be obvious to Dumbledore. Lily is what calmed you down, she is what put a stop to the detentions. When you were seeing Lily you were completely different. He is using Evans to get you and Sirius in hand because I obviously can't"

"No, he won't break us up!" Sirius protested.

"No, he won't. It won't change anything." James reaffirmed.

"What is this about a relationship…With Lily, as in the Lily I have heard about since you were 11 years old?" his mother said, intrigued.

James scowled at Remus as the other boys snickered into their hands.

"It was nothing mum. We aren't dating, it was just a stupid moment, a lapse in judgement on her part."

"Jamie I am sure that isn't true, you shouldn't put yourself down like that." She scolded.

"It is true, just ask her. I don't want to talk about this, are we going to diagon alley or not?" James replied huffily.

oOoOoOoOoO

It was a hot, bright day as Pete and James walked side by side out of the apothecary to collect everyone's potions supplies while Remus, Sirius and James' mum were in Florish and Blotts getting the book lists.

Carrying his new cauldron filled with supplies (Sirius had unintentionally melted his during a prank last year) James sat down at a bench along the main walk way.

"D' you think your mums gonna notice that we spent more money than we needed? If she finds out about the Erumpent drops we are going to be in a lot of trouble They are a class C substance James!"

"Yes, I am aware, but we only need a drop of it and when the slytherins use it their potions will explode, it was the only thing that would work for certain, now calm down. My mum has no idea what things cost, she just buys what we tell her we need." James hissed as he pulled the hem of his red shirt up and wiped the sweat from his face.

"Well look at you handsome!" he heard a familiar voice call.

He lowered his shirt from his eyes and saw Alice standing in front of him hand in hand with his cousin, Lily just a few steps behind her.

"Are you showing off your abs to the entire wizarding population?" she joked.

Frank rolled his eyes and James smirked as he pulled his fitted shirt back down over his stomach.

"Well not intentionally, I had to get a new cauldron, you know after Sirius' potions mishap…And it was heavy with all of our stuff in it." He supplied.

"Well, I hear from Lily here that a congratulations are in order? Who would have thought that James Potter would be head boy? Has Dumbledore finally lost his marbles?" Frank said pulling his baby cousin into a brief one armed hug.

"Yeah, I think he may have. I have no idea what he was thinking." James replied shaking his head.

"I think you will make a good head boy." Alice said leaning forward and kissing his cheek, rolling her eyes as Frank narrowed his. "What about you Lily?"

James blanched as Lily blushed.

"I think you will do great." She muttered.

"yeah, well, I am thinking about resigning and seeing if they'll give it to Rem….Congrats by the way Lily." He said while looking down at his feet.

"I don't think you should resign I think you will be a really good head boy. There is a reason that Dumbledore picked you over Remus… Don't resign." Lily said quietly.

James was spared answering by a yelling Sirius running up behind him.

"Hey Allie!"

"Hey Sirius, how is your summer?" She asked as he scooped her up into a hug.

"Eh, it has been good, all except getting brought back from the beach early because James threatened the entire wizarding populations security. And then the prat went and got himeslef stuck as head boy."

"Sirius Black you stop teasing him about that, before he goes and gives it up, you know that is something he would do." Mrs. Potter said walking up with Remus, both of them bogged down with books.

"Hey Alice, Lily…How has your summer been?" Remus said with a smile as he sat his bag of books down.

"Pretty good, we just happened to run into each other. Lily is here with her mum and my mum and dad are working so I came with Frank." Alice said, smiling happily.

At that minute a thin blonde woman came walking up behind Lily and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Lily Elise, do you plan on introducing me to your friends?" she said with a kind smile.

James couldn't help look up at the woman he had heard so much about. She was beautiful, Lily looks just like her, except for her hair color and eye color. Her mother had deep brown eyes they looked so kind. He had seen her in passing at the platform of course but this was the closest he had ever been to her. He glanced at Lily and saw her cheeks pink up a bit.

"Yeah mum…" Lily said as she pointed at each person in turn, "Well you obviously know Allie, but this is Frank, her boyfriend. Uhm this is Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. Remus is the Gryffindor 7th year prefect. This is Sirius Black and James Potter, a scary combination these two are. And James incidentally enough is also head Boy. And this is Mrs. Potter. This is my mum." She finished shyly.

Mrs. Potter beamed and held out her hand to the, obviously uncomfortable, muggle woman.

"Good afternoon, I am Madeline Potter, James' mum, though I claim all four of them. I met your lovely daughter last summer at my home. My husband is around here somewhere if you like we can get a drink and let the kids go off on their own…If these two promise to behave" she said pointing between James and Sirius.

Lily's mum nodded and shook the outstretched hand.

"Nice to meet you, I am Violet Evans. I believe I have heard a lot about your group of boys." She said with a smile, Lily's face matched her hair, James' was flaming to his hair line. The drastic difference made it really noticeable.

"Shall we wait for our husbands?" Mrs. Potter asked kindly.

Mrs. Evans shook her head slightly.

"Oh well, unfortunately Lily's father passed away 4 years ago, but I would love to sit and chat with you, Lily tells me so little of this world I feel I hardly know what she is even going to become, though I am well versed in the goings on at her school. And the shenanegins of a group of dashingly handsome boys."

Mrs. Potter laughed heartily and walked off with the woman to a small tea shop, taking the bags of books and James' cauldron with them. Lily's face was in her hands, Sirius and Remus were grinning like lunatics while Pete was blushing a bit James was looking at Lily with a most confused look on his face.

"Oi, James, Earth to Prongs!" Sirius said, snapping his fingers in front of the stunned boy.

"Huh, right, uhm, where do you girls have left to go? All we have left is Madam Malkin's" James muttered.

"Well I just got here really, mum was exchanging muggle money for wizard gold. So I haven't been anywhere. But I need new robes…Alice?" Lily said softly, this was the closest her and James had been since the hogsmede battle and it seemed to be the best they had handled each other. She wasn't' sure how to act.

"Oh well, we are done, I have to be home in about twenty minutes, we were heading back to floo home when we bumped into you Lil." Alice said apologetically.

**Sirius POV**

Sirius glanced at the stricken look on Lily's face and at the pitiful expression his best friend wore. Yeah, he was over her, bull shit.

"That's alright Al, we can take care of Lilikins for the afternoon, can't we boys?" Sirius said with an evil grin.

James' jaw dropped, Lily looked nervous, and Pete and Remus nodded their heads happily.

"It would be our pleasure." Remus said with a true smile.

They all bid farewell to Alice and Frank and began to walk towards the robe shop. As they stepped away Sirius yanked the new book from Remus' hands and threw it to Pete, who caught it surprisingly.

"Seriously, Sirius!" Remus shouted, "Give me back my book!"

"Catch us and we shall." Sirius chanted in a sing song voice as Pete threw the book back and the two took off at a jog, Remus sighed and went off after them.

**James POV**

James took a step forward before hearing his mother yell.

"James Potter!"

He turned and smiled at her.

"Don't you run off and leave Lily alone now, you boys be nice to her." She said sternly.

He nodded and stepped back into place to walk alongside the stunning red head.

"I'm sorry about my mum." Lily muttered shaking her head.

James shrugged.

"She's no worse than mine. I'm sorry about your father. I didn't know." He said softly.

"It's alright, it doesn't matter." She said quickly, not meeting his eyes.

He looked over at her, she was watching her feet as they walked. Glancing ahead he saw the guys stopped, all bent over panting, they were about a block ahead of them. He reached out and gripped her elbow and pulled her to a stop. She turned and looked at him, her eyes filled with sadness and questions.

"It does, it does matter. I am sorry." He said firmly, he every word laced with emotion.

"I…I..I know, it's fine James. Really, it's fine"

"No I mean about the date incident and last year." He said quieter.

"I know what you mean, it's fine, really. It…It's forgotton James…It's nothing." She said with a smile

He grinned and pulled her towards the 3 boys waiting patiently outside the clothier.

They didn't notice their mother's grinning like fools at the little outdoor tea table half a block behind them, nor did they notice Sirius' manic smile as they walked up to them James' hand still gently touching Lily's elbow.

"Alright you two?" Remus said, still slightly out of breath.

"Never better." James replied.


	25. Chapter 25: Back To Hogwarts

**_I don't own this._**

Chapter 25

**Back to Hogwarts**

James was sitting in his brand new robes, wearing two badges, in a stuffy, underlit carriage that he had never been into, staring out a window trying not to fall asleep. He was trying, he really was, head boy he might be, but cut out for meetings this dull he was not.

"How is it that the one student that has broken the most rules gets to be head boy?" he heard one of the prefects ask.

He glanced up to see who had spoken, Lily and Remus were both staring at the 6th year Slytherin in anger, James just looked at him, he had been expecting this response.

"I dunno, perhaps you should ask Dumbledore. I believe it is he who makes the decision, if you have an argument take it up with him, otherwise stuff it and let Evans finish the meeting. Ok, thanks." He said sharply before turning to look back out of the window.

He listened as she talked about schedules for patrols and how they would have them posted tomorrow. Who was to be leading the first years to the dorms and who would be monitoring the common rooms as students settled in.

"And as per usual, the Head boy and I have a meeting with Dumbledore after the feast and then we will patrol tonight since there is no set schedule yet. So just follow this preliminary one for today on the train and we are set to go." And with that she dismissed them and all of the prefects except Remus went rushing out.

"You look lost." He said to James with a grin.

"That was almost as dull as Binns." James replied pushing his hand through his tousled hair and standing to stretch.

"You could have chimed in, made it not so boring." Lily said, her tone a bit smug.

James grinned hugely and laughed.

"Until Remmy has more time to train me I don't think you want my help at all. Actually that's what we have to talk to you about." He said, leaning against the doorframe.

"Well now's the best time. We are supposed to be having a head's meeting so we have time. Shoot."

Remus nodded and started.

"Right, well Jamie here doesn't think that he is going to be very good at this whole head boy thing. So in effort to keep him from going straight to Dumbledore and resigning after the feast, I am going to help." He said with a grin.

Lily smiled and nodded her head.

"I told him I would come to the first few head's meetings and help him figure out all the prefects rules and things like that, but if he resigns I will refuse to take his place and you lot will be left with a head boy from a different house. He agreed."

"But I only agreed on one circumstance." James added standing up straighter. He looked at her with such intensity it made her knees week. "Lily, this is our very last year. This is it, I can't leave Hogwarts and not make my last year worth it."

Her mouth was dry as she tried to respond.

"I don't understand how being head boy is going to ruin your final year. You get to stay out after curfew, professors will think you are going to behave, there is no out of bounds for you, and you get your own room."

"What? I get my own room?" he said to Remus distracted. "Anyways, Evans I have plans for this year, I already bought supplies."

Then what he was saying dawned on her, she started to laugh.

"Oh, you want to be allowed to prank."

He nodded profusely.

"James, as much as I would love to see a prank free exam time, I never expected you not to prank during your 7th year. Head boy or not." She said with a smile.

"You won't yell?" he said skeptically.

She looked serious.

"I will make you a deal, I won't say one word. As long as no one gets hurt from them."

"Alright, no one gets hurt. And if I promise not to cause any mayhem during NEWTS, Sirius and I can have a prank war in October." He said with a twinkle in his eye.

"You will stop all pranking for NEWTS for a prank war?" Lily said, while Remus beamed.

"Look at you being responsible and diplomatic, I knew you could do this head boy business." He said with a smile.

James nodded and grinned mischievously.

"Alright, I can deal with that." She said with a slow smile.

James punched the air in celebration and ran out of the compartment barreling off towards Sirius.

"James! Oi Head boy! Meeting!" Remus yelled out of the door.

James' face fell and he shuffled back into the heads compartment.

oOoOoOoOoOoOo

James had never felt nervous in Dumbledore's office before, but he certainly did right now.

"Why are you fidgeting, it isn't like you are in trouble." Lily hissed under her breath while they waited for their headmaster.

James shrugged his shoulders.

"I think I would rather be in trouble, I know what to expect from Dumbledore when I am in trouble, I don't know how he is outside of those situations."

Lily giggled and rolled her eyes. James didn't fail to notice though that her giggling cut off as soon as they heard Dumbledore's steps into the circular room.

"Ah if it isn't two of my favorite students. And how has your first forays into being head's been?" he said with a smile as he walked around the desk and sat down.

"It has been good, sir." Lily said politely.

"And how about you Mr Potter. You seem oddly quiet, I have never known you to not be explaining yourself" he said, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh, ah, well it is alright. I am not sure what I am doing here honestly but I am going to try." James replied not looking directly at the old professor.

"Aye and try you shall. You hold yourself in very low regard James. I think, as do many of your teachers, that you possess qualities that make you an extraordinary leader."

James looked at his incredulously.

"I see you don't believe me. Well I guess before we get down to the business of the meeting I may need to explain why you of all the boys of your year were chosen. First, you have better marks than any student in your year Mr. Potter. And seeing as I rarely see you study or even try hard at your classes it seems to me that you are a lot more powerful a wizard than you let on, or that anyone knows.

You are compassionate, you truly care about others more than yourself, I need a head boy who has a kind heart, you have and amazing disregard for the rules. I know I know you would think this a downfall but when paired with Miss. Evans here it is extraordinary. You will not fail to see the humor or the simple fun in anything, therefore when she gets shall we say overwhelmed with the rambunctiousness of our students you are the perfect one to show her the fun side of the goings on.

The two of you as a pair will be an unstoppable force, I have no questions putting my faith in you two. As this war progresses I will be gone from this school at times. I have complete trust that you two will act in accordance with the staff and with my wishes. You will be a remarkable pair. Where you are weak she is strong beyond what you could ever imagine, and where she is lacking you excel beyond anyone's wildest dreams. Besides Miss. Evans keeps you and Sirius in line much better than anyone I have ever seen." Dumbledore finished staring off into space with a smirk.

Lily and James both looked dumbstruck. The white bearded wizard clapped his hands together and smiled brightly.

"Now to business. As you both know, you have a head's office, one of you must keep office hours there from 3:30-5:00 Monday and Wedsday, may I suggest splitting it up. You both must keep hours on Friday nights from 4:00-6:00 and then from noon until 3:00PM on the weekends.

Of course you know each of you is given a private room, it is located off of the Gryffindor common room, it is also accessible from the Head's office in the Head's hall. You do not have to stay in your private dorms except for Friday, Saturday and Sundays. As the weekends we tend to have more need for extra help. We also ask that you stay in them for the first two weeks back to school, other than that it is up to you. Though, of course you are welcome to stay in them all the time if you wish.

Your patrol schedules are due monthly on the 1st, each week we ask that you each patrol at least once with a prefect of a different house. And we ask that at least one of you patrol on each weekend night and on the full moon each month. Well that is it. I am sure you want to explore your new rooms. SO pip pip off with you two." He said practically shooing them from his office.

James' head was spinning as they made their way quietly to the Head's Hallway which was where the head's office was accessible from. They arrived in front of a beautiful stained glass window. The staining portrayed a picture of a glimmering blue lake, surrounded by swaying trees, under a starlit sky.

"Er…I don't know the password." Lily said nervously.

James grinned hugely, he obviously knew something she didn't.

"There is no password to the head's office, When a head isn't in there it seals itself, when one of us are in there it will be open to anyone who needs us, they just walk through the glass. If I am not mistaken you have to be with a faculty member or prefect after curfew though unless there is an emergency." He said as he looked down on her.

"Oh, how do you know this?" she asked.

He laughed and held out his hand as if in greeting.

"Hi, James Potter, troublemaker, prat, toerag and marauder. I have been in the Head's office more times than I can count. Though this is the first time I have come willingly."

She laughed.

"Well if it is an emergency overnight. How would the entry know to let them in?" she questioned as she touched the blue glass and her fingers slipped right through.

"Magic." He said before taking her arm and pulling her through the glass, it felt like a warm waterfall trickling over their skin.

They walked through into a regally appointed room. The floors were a dark deep cherry wood and the walls were an ancient stone mosaic. To the right stood a gleaming glass top table and around it stood 30 or so chairs. James could only assume for prefect meetings as behind the table on the wall hung the four house banners and the rug under the table was the school crest. Immediately in front of them sat two cherry wood desks both facing them, behind them each stood two tall bookcases, each appearing to hold different books. As James walked over to the desk that read his name and thumbed over the books that ranged from Defensive tactics, Transfiguration, and Charms all the way to quidditch, Lily examined the sitting area infront of the fireplace. There stood two arm chairs side by side, a long couch and a chaise lounge. All in a deep rich purple, sitting atop a lush rug.

"I take it these are the doors to our rooms?" she said pointing to the small open spiral stairs that each led to a small landing with a door. One stair well stood several feet away on either side of the fireplace.

"I would assume so, and that would be the bath." He said gesturing to the door standing behind a plush purple curtain that had been pulled to the side to reveal its existence.

"Lets check that out first!" Lily said in a decidedly excited tone. James couldn't stop the grin that formed on his face after hearing her glee.

The sealed door opened at his touch and they stopped, staring in awe at the bath in front of them. Here the room was blatantly for a Gryffindor. The walls were hung with a gold fabric and the floors continued the dark red cherry wood into here. In a gilded basket sat rolled deeply crimson towels. The bath was sunk into the floor and it put the prefects bath to shame, it boasted ledges to sit upon against jets and at least 50 jewel encrusted taps. Along the wall were two marble sinks each with their own mirror and counter space. James smiled as he saw Lily's delight as she took the smaller of the two bathrobes from a hook beside what was apparently her sink. She hugged it to herself reveling in the feel of it.

She rehung her robe before they left to explore their rooms. Above the mantle between their two doors hung an enormous painting. It depicted a beautiful waterfall cascading over rocks. Standing at the base of the waterfall was a young couple with outstretched hands. As Lily walked up one staircase, James directly behind her the couple turned and walked to the forefront of the tapestry.

"Good evening head boy and girl. We are your password keepers. The only rooms that require a password in your personal bedroom, however the doors will open to your specific touch, just as all of the other doors in this room do. There are also entrances into your house common rooms from your personal room. These doors are only accessible by your specific touch unless you take it upon yourself to teach the knob someone else's touch. However you are also given a password so you can allow others into your room through this entrance as well. We suggest only sharing it with those you trust, and with one another, in case you are needed as these rooms are soundproof." The maze headed man said with an easy grace.

Both James and Lily nodded before going into thinking mode.

"Honnêteté" James said firmly.

"The head Boy's password is approved and set." The lady in the frame said softly

Lily looked at him in surprise. He shrugged his shoulders.

"It means honesty in French. It is my favorite French word." He replied to her silent question. "I want you to know it in case you need me. The only others that will have it are the other marauders."

"You know French?" she said in shock.

He laughed and nodded.

"Some, Remus is was born and raised in France, I know my fair share." He said with a grin.

She smiled slightly and turned to look at the painting.

"Giant Squid" she said with a giggle before turning to smile at James.

He rolled his eyes and laughed before letting her reach out to open the door to the room in front of them.

"Ouch!" she shouted as she pulled her hand back instantly. "It burnt me! I would venture to guess that this is your room." She said eyeing the door darkly.

He chuckled and reached his hand out and turned the knob. This room was 100% James. Along the walls hung various Gryffindor banners and pictures of he and his select group of friends were hung in a collage above a small desk at the wall to her right. Beside the desk was a door that she assumed went into the common room. His bed was on the opposite wall, it was huge, king sized at least. Lily laughed as he flung himself onto it sinking into the plush down comforter and mattress.

"If I don't come to classes or Head duties you will find me in this bed." He said, his voice muffled from the pillows.

She skirted the foot of the bed and walked to the wall sized window along the back wall of the room. There was a window seat that was topped with golden pillows. James walked over and pulled the handle on the window, it vanished leaving an open wall before them. Lily gasped and James let out a whoop. She looked at him and saw him running his fingers over the broom that was placed on a broom holder beside the window bench.

"Whose is the second one?" she asked.

"Sirius', we fly a lot on the weekends and in the evening, apparently the room or house elves or whoever knew that." He said leaning out of the huge drop off.

"James, stop, you are going to kill yourself."

He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her.

"You wanna come fly with me?" he said in a playful tone.

"No, No I don't. Besides we have rounds once we go see my room." She replied before turning and walking out of his door.

Her room was similar, but decidedly more feminine. Her bed was smaller, only a double or a queen. She had innumerable pillows on her bed and we walls were adorned with one Gryffindor flag and then several pictures of her and her mum, three of her and her father, several of her, Alice and a few of the other Gryffindor girls, and to James' surprise one that had been taken last year of the two of them. He walked over to study it closer, he was sitting on the steps in the great hall and she was sitting beside him her head thrown back laughing. James frowned slightly when he watched his picture-self smile brilliantly and push a stray piece of hair off of her face.

"I don't remember this being taken." He said hoarsely.

"Hmmm. Oh, uhm Alice took that,that was on your birthday, remember her running around with that camera?" she said looking over his shoulder.

"Oh, right. I had forgotten about that." He replied quietly. "So rounds shall we go?" he said with false excitement.

She nodded and gave a small smile.

oOoOoOoOoO

It was chilly in the dungeons at night. They had been fairly silent through the rounds, Lily finally caught James' eye and smiled.

"Knut for your thoughts?" she said softly

He looked at her before speaking in a hitched voice.

"I don't know." And he stopped.

"You don't know what?" she pushed.

"I don't know if we are alright. I mean. Are we alright. Or are we...aren't alright?" he said lamely.

"I want to be alright. But that is really up to you." She said softly.

He nodded his head and pushed his hands into his pockets, returning to their silent walk to the head's office.

Lily said nothing as she walked up to her new room.

"Lily." James said.

She looked down to see him standing at the bottom of her staircase.

"Yeah?"

"Friends?" he asked.

"Always James. Always." She said with a smile.


	26. Chapter 26: Doggy Duties

**_We now have the same number of reviews as Legacy and we aren't finished yet!_**

**_And this story has been up for less than two months! _**

**_I am so excited! Although it does make me sad for Legacy…._**

**_Which BTW is going to have a prequel when this one is done, I have already started it!_**

**_It won't go up till this is over and I will post a new chapter on Birth of Legacy and Beginning of Legacy to let everyone know!_**

**_Ok anyways here we go thanks for the reviews and the PM's_**

Chapter 26

**Doggy Duties**

The sunlight streamed in through the wall sized window. James couldn't believe he had slept so late in the day. It was a Saturday and they had been back in school for two weeks. He sat up and looked blearily around his room. He stretched out his legs to loosen them up.

"Grrrrr. Pffft." The lump of covers at the bottom of his bed said.

Confused, he pulled the covers aside to see a shaggy black dog laying curled up, closing his eyes to go back to sleep. James stood up and stretched, scratching the top of the dog's fluffy head.

"Up you get Pads, hungover or not I have Heads duties today." He mumbled.

The dog stood turned in a circle and flopped back down into the cushy down blankets. He was shaking his head when his door opened and Lily walked through.

"Oh, sorry James I didn't realize that you were up…Or half naked…." She said nervously as she looked away.

James looked down and realized that he was indeed in his boxerbriefs and socks. Damn he hated the morning after a firewiskey night.

"Hmmm sorry Evans. I…wait this is my room I'm not sorry." He said disgruntled

She smiled and turned back to him once he had pulled on a stray pair of uniform pants. She could not hide the wry sensual look she had on her face. His appearance threw her for a moment. He stood there, tall, toned, with his slacks barely hanging on his hips, button and zip undone, showing the pale blue fabric of his underpants. His hair was an absolute mess, laying all over the place, and his face was still creased from sleep.

"Uhm Lily, did you want something?" he asked nervously, she had been quiet for nearly a minute.

"Oh uhm yeah I." she said in a pitchy voice a little too loudly.

The dog lifted its head and whimpered at the disturbance.

"DO you have a random dog on your bed?" she said looking at the fluffy mass, confused.

"Oh well" he pushed his hand through his hair "He isn't random, he is my dog. He just usually stays in the tower or the forest or with Hagrid, you know how Hagrid is always talking about getting a puppy, well my dog keeps him company."

"Oh, I didn't know you had a dog…You never told me." She said, stepping closer to the bed to get a closer look at the massive thing, she smiled at the look of consternation on its face.

"I didn't tell you a lot of things." He shrugged

"I have never seen a dog look so irritated." She laughed. "Does he have a name?"

"Uhm, Errr, yeah it is, uhm… His name is…Sunffles that's his name, snuffles."

She smiled and scratched the dog's ears, she laughed when he rolled over so she could pet his belly, James scowled.

"Snuffles, here I would have thought you would have named your dog, Duke or Zuess, or Hercules, something that means power."

"Who are they?" he said in confusion.

"Oh, I always forget you are a pureblood, you don't know muggle lore. They are names of Gods, names that mean powerful."

"Oh..uhm did you just come in here to look at my dog or is there something that you wanted?" he said a bit rudely.

"Oh right." She shuffled her feet, embarrassed, "It is after one and our office hours started at noon, I was checking on you."

"Oh, shit. Yeah I will be right there, just, I'm sorry, I will explain later, let me get dressed, I'll be there in a second." He stammered as he started pulling clothes from the drawers.

She nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

"You stupid git, having her rub your stomach." He muttered smacking the dog in the side of the head before donning muggle jeans and a jumper and running out the door, leaving the dog to nap in his comfortable bed.

oOoOoOoOoO

His head hurt, he was irritated, he was walking back from the Ravenclaw common room, he hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch, he knew it was dinner time, he had a long night ahead of himself, he needed to talk to Lily, and he was STILL ON HEAD DUTIES!

Stupid Ravenclaw third years, getting in an argument over a damn game of chess, causing an uproar, throwing curses they has heard from older students, now one was in the hospital wing his head blown up like a balloon, and the other was in detention for the rest of the weekend and week. And their house was down 35 points, James couldn't lie though, taking away house points had been a thrill.

He moped back into the office, exhausted and sincerely hoping that Lily would help him out. He couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his face at the sight of Lily sitting crosslegged on the floor patting the head of "his dog".

"You look like you two have gotten to know each other well." He said lazily, flopping onto the sofa across from her.

"He is a sweet puppy." She cooed kissing the large wet nose of the dog.

The tail thumped and beat and the dog yelped happily. James rolled his eyes.

"Look Lily, I need a favor from you. Tonight, it's the full moon and I know I was going to do the first one, but I haven't eaten at all, and I was up with Remmy last night, he had to go home for treatment today. Is there any way you can do duty tonight? Please Lily." He said softly.

She smiled and stood.

"I had been planning on it, I was going to ask Remus to work with me because you haven't taken a break since I woke you up but when I got to your room a few hours ago Peter told me that Remus had went home for the weekend with Sirius because he was sick. It's fine though, Claire from Hufflepuff is going to work the shift with me. Just remember that you have to stay in your room here since it is the weekend and a full moon."

James nodded and smiled.

"Alright, well I don't feel up to the great hall so I am going to run to the kitchens and then come back and go to bed, thank you so much Evans."

He snapped his fingers and Snuffles padded over to his side, and he turned and left the room, he didn't notice the way her face had fallen when he called her by her surname, he didn't see the lonely look on her face, nor did he see her wipe a single tear from her cheek.


	27. Chapter 27: Dangerous Outings

**_Thank you for the reviews._**

**_Funnily enough we have a reader and I have no idea how it is timed but everytime I go to post an update they review just as I am posting so my update always falls seconds after the reviews say, please update : )_**

**_I find it funny and weird that it always works that way._**

**_Anyways I still after all this time do not own Harry Potter. _**

**_Enjoy and I can't wait to see what happens when Lily finds out it is Sirius either : )_**

Chapter 27

**Dangerous Outings**

"So you sat around all day and let Lily rub your tummy huh? Stupid prat." James said as he stuffed a sandwich into his mouth.

Sirius shrugged and spoke thickly, food spewing all over the counter, the house elves just smiled happily.

"You would have done the same thing. So I have to be snuffles all weekend?"

"I guess, Pete told her you left with Rem, so you shouldn't be back until Monday morning." He replied a bit irritated at that lie.

"Bit inconvenient, honestly he is so thick sometimes. What do you think she would say if she knew I was snuffles? And why the bloody hell did you come up with that name?" Sirius said stuffing another bite into his mouth. James laughed.

"Yes he thinks of the dumbest lies, just makes it all more complicated. Snuffles was the name of the only dog I ever owned, he died when I was 8, I accidentally flattened him when I engorged that bludger…it was the first thing that came to my mind. And I am pretty sure she would slap you if she ever found out you were the dog she was feeling up for hours."

"Yeah, probably, she has damn good hands though." Sirius muttered as he dodged a biscuit that had been thrown at his head.

OoOoOoOoO

He loved running, it made him forget everything that he felt when he was human, he forgot the suffocating feeling in his chest every time he looked at her, he forgot the way he felt like he was drowning during the time he was with Lily, it felt like he couldn't breathe around her. How was he supposed to work hand in hand with her and pretend that they were friends, she may not love him but he loved her more than was reasonable, he couldn't shake it.

Alright so maybe being a stag didn't make him forget completely but it made it bearable. He could run the thoughts through his mind and not feel the feelings like he did without being transformed. The problem was simple, running through these thoughts while keeping a werewolf in line was not ideal. Especially when that wolf had been confined to small areas and restrictions for the last three transformations. Moony wanted to run, he wanted free reign.

He was so boisterous and high strung that James actually winced at several of the tumbles Sirius had taken in their rough play. There was two instances that the wolf had darted off towards town or school bounds that James had to jump in, he was sporting a bloody gash on his back and a stinging cut on his front flank. Their time was running out, he could see the sky as it lightened while that were sprinting back towards the shack. Pete was waiting there for them, Moony had been too rough for such a small animal this time and he nearly got eaten as it was he got thrown against a tree and had been scraped with a tooth along his side. Sirius had run him back early in the evening.

They returned just as the wolf started growling and moaning pitifully. James stepped back and waited until the transformation was nearly complete. He watched as his friend's body contorted back to its normal features and started to collapse, he timed his own transformation seamlessly, as did Sirius and they caught him before he hit the ground. It no longer caught them off guard or seemed strange to them when Remus landed limp, pale, bleeding and completely nude. It was second nature. James whipped his wand and magicked boxers onto him. Pete was ready as ever with the extra robe they always brought, we through it over him and wrapped it cocoon like around him while James gripped him by the torso and Sirius held his hips and legs. He was always completely unconscious after the moon for at least several hours.

They waited about 15 minutes and they heard the familiar sounds of Madam Pomphrey walking around in the front room. She had long since figured out that they knew the secret, as had the majority of the staff. They had started coming down here and waiting at the entrance of the willow until the sun was completely up to help their friend in third year. They had never stopped, it was just assumed they were still doing the same thing. As Remus got older and the boys developed their plan James and Sirius had begged the nurse to come later after the sun rise. After all he was no longer a little boy and he needed to keep his dignity, Remus agreed blushing while asking her to please wait until his friends had, had time to dress him to come get him. She had half-heartedly agreed, with Dumbledore's permission, understanding that at this age modesty and personal space was a big deal.

She came into the back bedroom, where she always found the four boys.

"How is he this morning?" she asked as she walked over and touched his hair softly.

"He is pretty out of it. He was awake for a minute, he was disoriented, he threw Sirius against the wall, I think he may have a concussion. And Pete cut his back on the mirror when Sirius flew into him." James said nodding his head towards Sirius, whose face was bruised and Pete who had blood seeping through his robes.

She tutted and helped them disalusion the boy and magic him to the hospital wing.

"You two come with me too, something must be done about you." She said briskly shaking James off at the entrance.

He was glad when she left him alone it allowed him to stop walking to lean over and gasp in pain. They had developed a system, they couldn't profess all of their injuries to the nurse or she would get suspicious. They only told her serious ones. Pete had been bleeding all night, James was a bit afraid for his health and Sirius had just recovered from a head trauma, he had to be seen right away. He could figure out his own injuries. Knowing that students would be up soon he made his way to the Gryffindor common room and into his room through the back way, so as not to risk Lily being up.

He had been back in his room for about twenty minutes and was standing infront of his full length mirror in track pants looking forlornly at his right shoulder blade and then turning to see his lower back on the left hand side. The shoulder wasn't bad, it looked like a bad scrape, he could play that off, but his back was a deep gash, it was a very open wound and was bleeding pretty freely. He had tried a charm to slow or stop the blood but it hadn't worked, possibly because he couldn't hold his wand the right way to perform the right motion. He was standing there biting his lip to keep from yelling out when he heard a knock on his door.

"Yeah?" he yelled, there was no response.

That is when he remembered that their rooms were soundproof. He hobbled over to the door and cracked it open a bit.

"Hey, I figured you'd be up since you run on Saturdays, I was just checking to see if." She stopped and stared at the piece of him she could see. "Why is your shoulder and chest all torn up? And why is there blood seeping into your pants? James let me in." she said forcefully.

He stood aside all the while cursing the fact that he had put on white track pants. She came in and spun him around.

"Owe, damn it Lily." He said through clenched teeth.

"Who did this to you?" she said angrily.

"It doesn't matter. They won't do it again, it is handled." He replied in a clouded tone.

"James you may be head boy but you have to report when people use magic like this, we need to go to the hospital wing." She said trying to take his hand and pull him from the room.

"I'm not going to see Pomphrey. I will heal it myself, or if you want to be nice you can heal it for me, and get me a pain potion from my bottom drawer, I can't bend right now. And I handled it, I took care of it, they won't do it again."

She rolled her eyes but went over to his drawer none the less. She walked back over carrying a blue potion and watched as he uncorked it and downed it in one motion.

"You keep pre bottled pain potion in your room?" she questioned.

"I am captain of the quidditch team and coconspirator of the most notorious pranking group Hogwarts has ever had. Of course I keep it, my mum makes me a stock of it before school starts every year. It will take about ten minutes to work, go ahead and fix me please." He said squinting against the pain.

"I need you to lay across your bed to fix your back, let me do that first because you won't be able to stand for the shoulder otherwise."

He nodded and gently laid down across the matress, nearly falling asleep when his head hit it. He couldn't stop the flinch or whimper when her fingers touched the wound, it was low, the beginning of it started on the side of his hip the cut was jagged and went from his lower back down to right below the line of his boxers.

"I'm sorry, I don't want it to hurt, I have to roll down your pants." She said apologetically. She could tell from his muffled voice that he was biting a pillow.

"Lily just fix it, please."

She nodded and pushed his pants and boxer briefs low, about half way down his backside, she flushed at seeing this part of his body again. But the sight of the seeping wound stopped her thoughts.

"I'm sorry Jamie." She whispered before pressing her hand to the deepest part of the wound and muttering the spell.

He tried not to yell out, but it hurt like hell, he compromised by yelling into the pillow. When the burning stopped he realized that her hand was in his hair, stroking the back of his neck. He couldn't lift his head because his shoulder was killing him.

"Sit up, I'll get your shoulder." She said softly.

He rolled over and sat, not bothering to mess with his slacks for fear it would hurt the newly healed skin.

"I have to make sure its only surface alright?" she said, he nodded and closed his eyes.

Placing her hand firmly against the multiple scrapes and cuts she muttered a spell, it wasn't nearly as bad as the last one. He opened his eyes so he could take in her face while she wasn't paying attention. She opened her eyes and frowned, looking into his face.

"You muscle in your shoulder blade is torn. I have never done that, I know simple stuff." She said gently.

"Do you know the theory?" he asked. She nodded. "Do it, I trust you."

"It is going to hurt like hell, and use a lot of your energy." She warned.

"I know, my mum has healed several torn muscles of mine before, it will hurt for a few days. Just do it, please, this potion will take effect in a couple minutes and I will go to sleep for a bit before duties. I'll be alright."

She nodded and started the incantation. He ground his teeth together, trying to keep the groans of pain to a minimum. When he opened his eyes again he saw tears swimming in her emerald orbs. He pushed her hair out of her face with his good hand before wiping the sweat off of his.

"Lily I am going to be fine."

"I hate to see you hurt." She said letting her head droop to look at her knees.

"This isn't the first time." He replied.

"I am aware. Believe me, I know the look in your eyes when you hurt. If anyone knows, I do. Lay down, I'll wake you up when it is time to get up." She said softly, he nodded thankful for her care and knowing that he couldn't stay awake for another moment.


	28. Chapter 28: Waiting

**_Just thought I should let everyone know_**

**_This story isn't going to go until Harry is born._**

**_it is going to end shortly thereafter they get together. _**

**_It will not be going all of the way to their deaths, mainly b/c I can't see it in any other way than I already wrote it. _**

**_That being said, you still have a bit ; )_**

**_This is not mine, well the thought process is but not the characters or the school or the magical community at large._**

Chapter 28

**Waiting**

He was starving, he was so hungry. Sitting up he rubbed his hands over his face and gripped his hair, wincing a bit at the pain in his shoulder. He hated having muscles healed, cuts and gashes hurt like hell to get healed but once they were done it was done, not with muscles, they ached for days and right after they hurt worse than they did before they were healed. He stood and stretched his back and walked over to the mirror to inspect the damage that had been caused. There was a thin pink line, he was certain that it would heal completely leaving no marks by the end of the day.

It had to be later than noon, he was in pain which meant the potion had worn off so he had slept at least 8 hours. Pulling on a pair of muggle jeans and uniform shirt he headed down the stairs. He saw Lily sitting on the sofa reading, a dog curled up beside her with his head in her lap. James shook his head, leave it to Sirius.

"Oi Padfoot, get off the furniture you mangy mutt!" James called as he loped down the staircase. "Sorry Lily, he is a bit clingy once he makes a new friend."

She smiled and stood, stretching her arms above her head.

"He is fine, why did you just call him by Sirius' nickname?"

James shuffled his feat nervously, he really had to learn to think before he spoke.

"Oh uhm well, because he acts like Sirius, he is big on girls, he sees them and never leaves them alone after that. And when I got him I said it as a joke on Siri and it stuck, so now they both answer to it. Why didn't you wake me? I missed office hours…again.

She shook her head, a bemused smile on her face.

"Your little clan is an odd one James Potter. I didn't wake you because after this morning you needed rest to completely heal. How are you feeling? And why are you wearing a uniform shirt with your jeans?"

"Oh well, I couldn't lift my shoulder to pull a tshirt of a jumper on and the only button ups I have are these. So I figured what the hell, I will pull it off or die trying. I am fine, just sore, thank you by the way. What time is it?"

She glanced at the muggle watch on her wrist.  
"6:30, you are too late for dinner and rounds are in about an hour, do you want to go to the kitchens? I will come with you and then we can start rounds from there. And you are welcome."

James glanced at the shaggy black beast that was wagging its tail happily. He shrugged.

"Sure, that's fine, Snuffs go to the dorm with Pete. I'll come scoop you up after rounds." He said.

The dog barked twice.

"Does he understand you?" Lily asked as she watched the dog stand and shake out.

"He understands a lot better than you would think he does." James muttered darkly.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

The air was crisp as it whipped past James' face. He wiggled a bit on his broom, trying to find a way to hold on with his right hand and shoot with his left. His strength was quickly returning but he couldn't raise it all the way yet. He was beginning to wonder if there wasn't more wrong with it than he and Lily had originally thought. Now when he moved it up or in a circle it made a grinding noise and it was painful. Like a rubber band being pulled too tight and snapping back down.

He couldn't think about it now, he was running tryouts for his team and he had to do it quickly as it was Saturday and he had head's duties in two hours time. He watched in delight as Sirius performed some amazing aerobatic feats, he was so happy to be back on the pitch that he hadn't even smarted off yet, and they had been going for two hours already.

So far his team was solid. Sirius was performing at an elite level and James was certain that pairing him with the burly fourth year, Michael was an awesome move, after all the kid's father was the owner of the comet line of brooms, he could fly nearly as well as James himself. Gordon was returning as keeper and seemed to have improved over the summer. He was related to Alice and he had told James that Gideon and Fabian had practiced with him all summer break. He was excited about Morgan and Kyle both returning as well, Morgs had been a no brainer, the girl loved quidditch more than anything, he liked that about her. However he had to get a new seeker. His rookie seeker was afraid to play after last year and her injuries due to the Slytherin game.

His new seeker was a hyper third year boy. He had been so excited to get on the pitch that he fell down the risers in the stands in his haste when James had called his name. He was brilliant though. He caught the snitch faster than James had ever seen. And he was reckless, throwing himself off of the broom at one point to make the catch. James liked reckless he understood reckless, he could use reckless, he was reckless. If they didn't win the cup this year he had vowed he was going to jump off his broomstick.

Finishing up he flew over to the stands when he saw Remus and Lily sitting in the stands with Pete, Alice, Soryn and a few other Gryffindor housemates. Pulling up in front of them, still sitting astride his broom about 4 foot from the air he smiled brightly.

"Hey, what is everyone doing here?" he asked.

"Well, Lilly and I came to watch Morgan try out for the last time, Soryn came for Sirius I would assume, and the group of giggling girls came for you and probably Sirius as well." Alice said with a shrug.

James glanced over at the girls and shook his head, while pushing his hand through his hair. Sirius was still out on the pitch flying with his new partner and Morgan, Soryn did not look thrilled.

"You likely won't get him down for a while, it is the first he has been back since he got hurt, he will be out there all day I would imagine." James said to her.

"I get that he is happy to fly, but why is he flying with her?" she said in a disgruntled voice.

James could honestly say he considered Soryn a friend after everything that had happened and after Sirius drug her to their house several times, but this area made him a bit uncomfortable. He glanced a Remus who had a concerned look on his face, they both knew Sirius and he did not handle jealousy well at all.

"Well I would think it is because she is his teammate." Lily said crisply.

James couldn't stop the smirk that had formed on his face.

"Well tell him when he is done that I was waiting for him, I am going to do something else." She said and stood up to walk back to the castle.

"Uhm, alright…Where's Marleen?" James said quickly in effort to change the subject.

"Oh uhm she is waiting for Remus in the library. She said she didn't need to see you all make prats of yourselves in the air, she could do that any day of the week in the great hall."

Remus laughed,

"Well I guess I had better get going to the library then, James are you going to hover all day, fly off or put that broom up?"

"It's obvious, he is waiting on Evans to take a ride with him." Sirius said landing with a flump beside of Alice.

They all laughed while Lily shook her head ardently.

"I am not getting on that thing I will fall."

Sirius smirked and stood hopping back on his broom and grabbing the tail of James' broom and pulling him along behind him as he left, calling out,

"Oh you may fall for him, but it won't be off his broom."

oOoOoOoOoO

"What the bloody hell is the matter with you? Why would you say that? Don't you think I have enough to be getting on with? Honestly. Your girlfriend is pissed at you by the way." James growled as he flipped his broom right over Sirius head so they were face to face, James flying backwards again.

"Eh what are you going to do about it, you can't stop me from bugging her about it anymore than you can make her date you. And I don't know what is up with Soryn, she is acting so weird lately she gets mad for the littlest stuff, I don't know." Sirius replied as James spun his broom and they descended to the ground outside of the locker rooms.

"Well you need to go find her so I am not in the middle, I avoided fighting when her and I were in a relationship I am not going to do it when it isn't my relationship. And while we are on that, I am done trying to have one with Lily. Drop it already." James said firmly glancing back at the stands to see her walking out with Alice.

"Jamie, I know you, you aren't over her." Sirius said gently.

"Never said I was, I said I was done with it either way." They came to the ground and James hovered for just a minute before allowing his feet to touch the ground. "Look Siri, is it so much to ask to want to date a girl that wants to date me? I don't want to keep going down the same road alright?"

"Alright." Sirius said quietly.

"Hey James, show me that flip that you just did over Sirius." Morgan said with a grin.

James glanced at Sirius who was looking at his old crush with dewy eyes.

"Sure. Sirius do you mind?" James said nervously.

It was after all well known that Sirius had been infatuated with Morgan since at least 2nd year, when she made the team before him. The marauders had a standing rule about dating each other's crushes.

"No, it's fine, I have to go meet up with Soryn, if she'll talk to me that is." He replied, disgruntled.

"Want me to come with you?" James asked, silently begging his best mate to get him out of this. He didn't want to cross any lines that would hurt his best friend.

"Naw, she's my girlfriend mate, I think I can handle her. You take Morgan and have fun." He sighed putting his broom against the wall of the lockeroom. "Run my broom to your room for me? Oh and Morgan it's easier and more fun to learn if you just hop on the back of his broom. You only have an hour James, its 11."

James watched in shock as Sirius smiled and walked off through the pitch.

"Uhm, alright well, hop on I guess." James said nervously.

She flipped her white blonde hair and smiled hugely before sitting behind him and gripping the back of his robes. He rose up into the air and glanced back at her.

"You are going to have to hold on tighter than that or you are going to fall off."

She wrapped her arms all the way around him and he spun on a dime in the other direction, ready to shoot off instantly. He briefly caught sight of gleaming red hair flipping in the sun before he catapulted into the air and cut an instant flip. Laughing at Morgan squealing behind him and holding on to him for dear life.

"Er Lil, I think you should have just accepted the ride." Alice said softly when she saw Lily turn and the sound of James laughter.

Remus looked down at her and smiled sadly.

"He can't wait forever Lily." He said gently.

"I didn't ask him to." She replied quickly before picking up her pace and heading to her room.


	29. Chapter 29: Lies, Love, Life

**_Hope you like quick updates b/c I was excited about this one!_**

**_I am stoked about the next one it may be up tonight, or tomorrow at the latest._**

**_Not mine, not at all, not happy about that either : (_**

Chapter 29

**Lies, Love, Life**

**LILY POV**

"James, seriously, it is December you have not done duty on any full moon at all. Something has always come up, and I don't mind. I really don't but the last time there was a ton of howling and noise on the grounds and I am pretty certain that there are werewolves in the forest and I don't have anyone to cover for you and I am scared to do this alone. Come on James, please." She said.

"Come on Lils, I know I have done at least one moon duty with you." He said confidently.

"Nope, Remus was sick, you were up all night and tired. Last month you were on a date with Morgan. In October you were in the middle of a prank war, remember?" she said huffily.

"Oh, how could I forget that prank war?" he mused thinking back to October.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoO

They had planned it perfectly, have the prank war over the full moon, that way it hid Remus' absence for two days, if any of them got hurt they could blame a prank, and Lily would let him off duty. It was a brilliant cover. That week had been epic at Hogwarts. And at the end James and Sirius stood tied for who pulled the most successful pranks, though Remus won on who successfully pranked the actual marauders the most.

James had pink hair for three days and when Sirius' normal shiny curls went limp and straight he had almost had a heart attack. Pete had squeaked for an entire day and no matter how many times they tried to do their homework in inevitably got ruined by water, fire, ink, owls…it was awful.

But not only had they been attacking each other, the school was in shambles. Students sprinting from room to room afraid of what was going to happen, professors nervous and jumping at the smallest sound. And it was only made worse that the boys couldn't be pinned in any of it.

That week, when the boys used the urinals and flushed they spit all the contents back at them, the girls toilets had been charmed with a barrier charm so that piss rolled off the barrier into the girls' pants, Lily had not been pleased with that. Every time a Slytherin touched a hand rail on the stairs every hand rail in Hogwarts tuned into a snake. Ravenclaw tower grew wings and flapped nonstop, causing that entire part of the castle to shake violently. There were many sleepless blue clad students walking around. The Hufflepuffs spoke in rhyme for 12 hours straight and for one whole day at random intervals various Gryffindors would burst into raucous roars and growls, including the marauders.

James' big prank had involved the quidditch match that week. He had enchanted the spectator stands, every single time someone cheered for Ravenclaw during the match red and gold streamers and confetti would fall all over the spectators, causing gleeful Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs to cheer louder and Ravenclaws and Slytherins to stop all together.

Sirius had charmed the serving dishes down in the kitchen before they were sent up to the tables. Whenever someone had tried to get food out of a bowl or off of a platter it would spew its contents all over whomever was closest, this resulted in the largest Hogwarts food fight ever.

When you added in biting shoes and shrinking pants, itchy beds, and freezing showers with water that dyed your skin purple, the portraits all bursting into renditions of the Hogwarts school song every single time a professor or the Headmaster walked by, and the rain that fell from the great hall ceiling, it was a really long really crazy week. One that no one was likely to forget or top anytime soon.

OoOoOoOoo

"Oh right, next one Lily you can do whatever you want, I will even work with a Slytherin, please Lily Sirius is really bummed, you know that Soryn and he are arguing, and he can't figure out why. Hogsmede is tomorrow and he is in a sore mood. I promised I would hang with him, please. I swear I will work the next one." He groveled.

She couldn't tell him no, not when he looked at her like that. So she sighed and waved him off, where he ran out of the office and booked it towards the grounds. She shook her head, knowing that this meant she was going to be working alone on a night that scared her the most.

She knew that James thought she was stupid, she wasn't, she had noticed over the last three months that whenever James disappeared for the full moon, so did Remus. Not to mention last month when he supposedly had a date with Morgan she had come here looking for him about ten minutes before curfew, claiming not to have seen him that he cancelled on her because he was sick. Morgan…that was another sore spot. He wasn't dating her, she didn't even claim to be dating him, but they hung out a lot more, which made it a bit difficult for Lily as Morgan used to be one of her dorm mates and she still hang out with Marleen quite a lot, when Marleen wasn't with Remus that was.

She didn't want to like Morgan anymore, she wanted to be mad at her, but that wasn't the nicest thing to do. After all, she had told James she didn't want to be with him, that was her fault, not James' and certainly not Morgan's. Besides, she and James had become good friends, real friends, not what they claimed to be last year. They laughed together, they goofed around together, Lily had even managed to get him to study a few times. She also found herself absolutely head over heels in friendship with Sirius Black.

He was a mess, a big mess, a mess that she now adored. She was amazed how once James had pointed it out that he was very overgrown puppy like. He was whiney and clingy and needy and sweet and cuddly and you could play with his hair and he practically rolled over. Yes he was beyond arrogant and rude, he was hyper and high maintenance, until you knew him, really knew him.

Once you knew him he was sweet, he was nervous to hurt your feelings or to make you mad, yes that was a huge shock. She found out that at the beginning of 6th year he had done something outrageously stupid and caused a huge rift in the group, he was still wary of bringing it up. A few days ago after quidditch he had trooped up here with James dripping mud and water, both of them half froze to death and Sirius distraught. Without really thinking about it he had ripped off his uniform shirt and undershirt and stood in front of the fire bare chested, the scars and marks along his back made her breath catch. He obviously heard her and turned, his face flushed.

"Lily I am sorry, I wasn't thinking, Soryn has me upset. I'm sorry." He muttered heading towards James' staircase. James stood there silent and watched her face.

"Sirius, what happened to you?" she asked walking boldly up to him and running her finger along a scar that ran across his middle back.

She saw his worried face and the fear when he glanced at James. James nodded his head slightly and sat down on the bottom step up to his room, still dripping and obviously shivering.

"Well that is where my dad hit me with a cane when I was 9. I accidentally hexed Regulus and he was not happy with me."

She looked at him sternly.

"Sirius, a cane bruises, it does not scar."

"One that is imbedded with jewels and crystal does, at least after being hit with it 13 times, that's how long it took to break the skin, I lost count at 18, I blacked out." He shrugged.

She couldn't help it, wet and half naked or not she grabbed him and pulled him into a crushing hug, one that unfortunately was witnessed by his already jealous girlfriend.

She had learned a lot about Sirius that day, it changed something between them there was a trust that hadn't been there before, even in their budding friendship, he was truly her friend. They laughed together and played around and he was with her more often than not, which did not help the issue with Soryn. She had been being distant with Sirius for a few weeks and he was upset, he had never been serious (Merlin she had been with the foursome so much the joke made itself in her head) with a girl before. This was why she had been so lenient over duties tonight, she was worried for Sirius and knew that James really was the only one that could help.

She supposed that Remus was gone, that was another story all together. James never said anything, never alluded to it but she could remember Severus' allegations and the more she knew about Remus the more it was the only thing that made true sense. And what was strange was the more she knew Remus the less it even mattered to her. She knew that her friends would freak out it they found out, and that the school would go mad but she understood Remus on a level that no one else did. Well at least no one outside of the marauders. She only wished that he would trust her enough to tell her, she knew that the boys knew, she remembered that conversation over a year ago with James. Him telling her that his biggest secret wasn't his to tell. This was it. She only hoped that the other three hadn't been being crazy and putting their selves into danger every month. Though from what she could gather that was exactly what they had been doing.

Then there was the fact that Remus was the only one that knew how she felt for James. And he apparently he had said nothing at all to James or anyone else about her confession. When she asked him about while James and Sirius were practicing and Pete was getting a book from a shelf in the library he had told her simply

"I think that is something he deserves to hear. But he needs to hear it from you, not me, Sirius, or Pete. And Merlin knows, if the other two know, James will know."

She couldn't look past the fact that he had been a great confidant, he had kept her secret, of course she would keep his…If he ever told her that was. He was the only one that she could tell her secrets too, well besides Snuffles, she told him quite a lot, it was a good things that even wizarding dogs were not known for talking to their owners or James would be astounded with the information his dog knew.

And then, then there was James. He had become a very good friend, she trusted him, she had fun with him. They did all of the things they had done last year excluding the physical stuff that was. She was happy he seemed content with Morgan, although it was awkward when she would run into them after an obvious snogging session. She refused to think about it possibly being anything else. And she knew that he wasn't using the room of requirement, she frequented there herself, just a place to go think when she didn't have anything else to do. A place with memories that made her cringe they were so raw and painful, but it was always the same room that it was the last time the two of them were there alone. It never changed no matter how much she willed it to.

After all was said and done though, she knew she was very much in love with James. There was no question in her mind. And running around, oblivious, with Morgan he had inadvertently done the very thing she was afraid of. He had broken her heart. He had hurt her no matter how much he had promised not to.

She sat down behind his desk and picked up a book on advanced human transfiguration that was sitting on his desk, she flipped it over and over in her hands and it hit her. He was past it all, he was over their little fling last year, he had moved on. She should too, what good was she doing sitting around missing him? She would move on, she would find someone to date.


	30. Chapter 30: The Stag Is Out Of The Bag

**_Eeeeep…_**

**_This is a big one!_**

**_And my goofy self can not for the life of me remember if Lily knows about the map._**

**_I don't think she does yet, I have looked and can't find it anywhere if she does_****_, oooops._**

**_Thank you for the reviews and I expect more with such quick updating here!_**

30

**The Stag Is Out Of The Bag**

It was late, really late and Lily couldn't understand where James was. He wasn't in his room, she had checked. She had to go out of the dorms because the Hufflepuff prefect had sent her a message that they needed her in their common room. There had been a student hurt when a dungbomb was thrown into their fireplace. It hadn't taken her long to get back to the office but when she did she had paperwork to complete.

She was searching her desk for the parchment that they had to record any emergency intervention on but it wasn't there, remembering that James had used it last for an encounter with a group of first year Gryffindors and Slytherins she decided to check his mess of a desk. She opened the top drawer and sitting on top of all other papers was what appeared at first to be a detailed drawing with moving dots.

Unable to stop her curiosity she picked it up and looked more closely. Upon further inspection it was a map, a very intricate map of Hogwarts, it showed every room, every passages, entire corridors that she had no idea existed. But the truly remarkable thing was that it showed tiny dots that were labeled with names of students, professors, staff, and ghosts. She watched carefully as the students in the Hufflepuff dorm appeared to scatter and go up to their rooms. She watched Filtch prowl the 5th floor through the Runes corridor while Mrs. Norris was slinking through the dungeons. Everything seemed mostly still but something was moving on the grounds. The dot was darting all around and then it was quickly joined by two more. She looked closer to read the names. Sirius Black, James Potter…and her heart stopped, Remus Lupin. A fourth dot slowly came up to them, Peter Pettigrew. What were they thinking? He was a werewolf. He could kill them, or turn them. She had to do something, this couldn't be right. Without thinking she grabbed her cloak off the chair and ran off for the front door.

oOoOoOoO

Standing on the front steps, the ground looked completely quiet, dead almost. She glanced back at the map in her hands, using the full moon as her guiding light. She had last seen them by the huge whomping willow tree. But no one was there. Though there were so many tracks on the ground they made her dizzy. She walked on.

She walked around for what felt like hours through the snow, she was freezing, and more snow had just began to fall. She looked back at the map, seeing nothing she decided to turn and go back into the castle. She was walking the path that Hagrid had made from his frequent walks around the perimeter of the forbidden forest. And she heard a sound that made her blood run colder than it already was. A howl froze her in her spot. She looked at the map, there was nothing there but she could hear him, she could feel him as the hair on the back of her neck stood up. In that moment she did what was possibly the stupidest thing in her life, she turned and ran straight into the forest.

She continued to run, and did not stop until it was so dark she couldn't see the light from the moon at all. She lit her wand and looked at the map but was dismayed that the woods weren't even on there. She had no idea how to get back to the castle, but hopefully she was far enough away from the grounds Remus in wolf form would not find her. She may be willing to accept him for what he was but she was not willing to play with him when he was a living nightmare on earth. She wandered a ways jumping at every noise and crack of a branch. Finally overcome with fear and cold she sat down against an old tree and did the only logical thing she could think of, she cried.

She must have been there for an hour at least, she was so cold by now she could barely move, even though she knew she needed to. Just when she thought that closing her eyes might make her warmer a huge dark form entered the clearing where she sat. Every muscle she had seized up in terror. It stalked closer, slowly, tense. This was it, she knew it was it, in her stupidity she was going to die. The terror moved in on her, pounced forward and then out of nowhere began to lick her face. What the hell? What kind of wolf licks someone's face? She opened her eyes to stare straight into the blue eyes of…what blue eyes…Snuffles!

He barked and bounced side to side like he was excited to see her. Running forward again he licked her all over her face, heating her up a bit.

"Hey boy." She said in a chattering voice.

He stopped pouncing and looked at her, cocking his head sideways. He yelped and ran back, obviously trying to get her to follow.

"Nnnnooo. Tttoo Cold." She stuttered.

The dog walked up to her and nudged her trying to get her to stand. She stayed motionless. He circled nervously and lay down on her lap. He was so warm. So so warm. He whimpered and yelped, she would whisper back and he would nudge her face, almost like he was trying to keep her company. She was starting to warm up with all of this fur on her. Thank Merlin for James' dog, even when he wasn't here he found a way to save her, she thought. She reached her hand up to scratch his head and he stiffened. He stood over her staring to the right of the clearing and crouched low, growling deeply, a warning to anything that heard it. She had never heard him sound so menacing.

She sat up straighter and looked to the darkness where a chilling pair of yellow eyes were glowing back at her. Snuffles hackles were raised and he was snarling, which in turn caused the beast to step from the brush and into the light of her wand. She screamed and that set off a series of events that no one could have foreseen. As the wolf hunched and dove for the flesh in front of it the black dog grabbed her by the scruff of the neck of her robes and jerked her out of the way, when to her utter amazement a huge…something….slammed into the side of the growling wolf.

Snuffles continued to toss her like a rag doll pulling her farther and farther from the fight, she continued to scream as she watched the wolf bite and claw at the beautiful animal. She heard a crunch and saw the velveteen leg get bit and blood poured from it. At that point Snuffles released her and charged at the wolf throwing him into a tree, causing it to splinter and fall. She watched in dread as her favorite animal in the world put himself in danger to protect her and as the hurt magnificent…stag? It was a stag, blocked them from getting at her. Then the stag turned its gaze on her and ambled over. She stood and stared into oddly familiar hazel eyes. It huffed and lowered its front legs, taking the cue she clumsily climbed on and he stood up, and took off through the trees.

She must have been a long way in, it took a long time for the stag to find his way out. And when he did they weren't at Hogwarts, they were if she wasn't mistaken in Hogsmede, in front of the shrieking shack. He lowered his knees and she clambered off, still freezing half to death. The stag looked at her so intently you would have thought it was a person. And then he jerked his great head towards the house, beaconing her to go in. She stood stalk still, she was not moving. He gestured again and she still stood still, he huffed and started to shimmer. She stepped back astounded as James Potter appeared in front of her. Standing tall in a pair of running pants and that was it.

"Damn it Lily, get in the house." He said.

She just stared at him in shock.

"Damn it, Lily, get in the house now!" he yelled.

She didn't move still, standing open mouthed.

"Shit Wormy, transform and get her in there, I have to go help Pads." He said roughly and shimmered back into the great beast and ran off into the forest.

Out of who knew where Pete appeared and took her by the arm, pulling her into the shrieking shack.

"I don't want to be in here." She chattered.

"Look it is in here or freeze to death. Come on, into the front bedroom we have stuff for a fire in there." He said ushering her through the dilapidated house.

"Peter this place is haunted." She whined.

"It's not, that is Remus making the noises and if it was I think we stand a better chance against the ghosts than we do against the angry werewolf outside. Though with you out of the way I am sure the guys got him to calm down. He is probably playing now." Peter said, obviously thinking out loud as he loaded wood into the fire.

She was quiet as he got the fire started, she was so cold. She waited until she had warmed up and could talk normally.

"He is a stag?" she asked.

"He is." Peter nodded.

"Where did you come from, you weren't here, there were no other animals." She said, obviously confused.

He smiled ruefully and transformed in front of her down into a rat.

"Oh, I didn't see you, you are small." She said bluntly.

"I have to be, we need me to be." He said simply. "So I guess, since I am here with you, I should explain, where do you want me to start?" he said.

"Uhm the beginning would be great."

"Right, so it all started in second year, Remus kept lying and James was pissed."

OoOoOoOO

"And Jamie was the first to get it, he as you obviously know, is a stag."

The sky was lightening and Lily saw the first rays of the sun come through the window.

"Uhm, listen Lily, I think you should stay in here, they are going to have to let Remus change back, and you will both be in here, it is going to be sticky, I have to change alright.. Just do not leave this room." He implored.

She nodded and watched him shimmer down into the little rat and run out of the room through a hole in the door frame as she heard a door slam. Instantly her door burst open and snuffles ran through, panting. He pushed the door back shut with his head and threw his entire body weight against it, he was tense. The door outside slammed open again and was followed with howling and screaming. She knew that she should have stayed on the bed but she was scared, she stood and ran over to the side of the dog that had always comforted her and threw herself against him, he huffed and laid his head on top of hers as she started to cry.

About five minutes later she heard a knock on the door and snuffles relaxed beside of her.

"Lily, it's me, open the door." James said.

The dog tried to move and Lily held him in place.

"No." she said, her voice quivering.

"Lils, it's safe just open the door, I need to either get in there to you or get you out before madam Pomphrey comes to take Rems." He said softly.

"I'm scared." She whimpered, still leaning against the dog.

"Move her." James ordered through the wall.

The black dog huffed again turned his head and shoved her out of the way with his enormous body weight. When they were away from the door James limped through. The dog stepped back. James looked at him and nodded.

"All's good, you can switch." He said.

And how she hadn't realized it earlier while talking to Pete she would never know but to Lily's astonishment snuffles, the dog that had been around her so much, the dog that she had told so much to turned into Sirius.

"I..I…Sirius!" she gasped.

He smirked and ran forward to lift her into a hug.

"You scared the shit out of me when I found you against that tree. I knew it was someone, I could smell you but I didn't know it was you until I was right there. Merlin Lils. I wasn't even that scared when we were at the mercy of the death eaters." He said quickly, setting her down when James cleared his throat. "Right I am going to leave you with Prongsie here, we will see you this afternoon." And he kissed her cheek before running out the door and closing it.

Lily looked up at him, he didn't look happy. His face was bruised and a cut ran down his cheek. He had the left leg of his pants pulled up revealing a nasty bruise and a gash down his calf. Over his chest were various cuts and bites. He sat down beside of her on the bed.

"Are you alright?" he said hoarsely.

"I don't know." She said.

They heard a door creek open and James held his finger to his lips. Lily fell silent.

"Mr. Black, where is Potter?" the nursemaid said.

"He had head's duties until really late last night, so he couldn't make it this morning.

"Oh yes the mess in Hufflepuff, I bet he was up late with all that paperwork." She replied.

"Er..Sure yeah, Hufflepuff." Sirius stammered, obviously in the dark. James looked at her curiously and she shook her head.

They listened as Sirius and Pete helped get the apparently unconscious Remus out and waited for a while until they spoke.

"Lily, I have never in my life been so scared." He said turning his head to look at her.

"Me either, I'm glad it was mutual."

"Don't make jokes, that was so stupid, why did you go into the forest?" he said.

"I was looking for you, there were issues in Hufflepuff you weren't in your room, I needed the log and it was in your desk, I found this, you were on it, I went to find you."

He looked as if all the air had been sucked from his body when she handed him the map.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, about so many things, I couldn't tell you, it wasn't my secret to tell." He said, pushing her hair off of her face.

"You, Oh- you told me, you told me the truth!" she said suddenly, standing up.

"What?" he said, confused.

"When we were locked in your room, your biggest secret, you said, I am an illegal animagus..You told me, but I didn't believe you."

"Oh, yeah I did. I thought that was funny at the time." He chuckled.

"So Sirius is snuffles…ah Padfoot..Pads..it all makes so much more sense now." She muttered.

"He is, I hope you won't be too mad about that, I did try and get him to leave you be but he said you needed him, you needed someone to talk to, though for the life of me he won't tell me what about." She breathed a sigh of relief. "You are handling this alright, much better than I would have thought."

"I think I am in shock, and still half frozen."

"I am sure you are, lets get back to the castle and get you warmed up, are you going to classes today?" he asked.

"I am if you are." She replied.

"I am fairly certain my ankle is fractured at the very least. I can't go." He said, apologies heavy in his voice

."Right, that's good, I am exhausted, let's get you to the hospital wing and then we can see what happens from there."

For once he nodded and just agreed.

oOoOoOoOo

James was sitting on the sofa with his leg up, it was sore but alright for the most part, he was wrong, it was broken, not sprained. They heard the telltale sound of swirling water and looked up to see who was coming in to the office. To her surprise Remus came in, looking pale and sick and his neck appeared to be bruised but he was walking fine and seemed to be more awake than Sirius and Pete who followed him in. Lily nor James said anything as he walked up to the chair Lily was in and spun it to face the other chair beside it and sat down facing her.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a gravely voice.

"Remus, I'm fine. How are you?" she said softly.

"I am not the one that almost got eaten by a rabid beast last night." He grumbled.

"I highly doubt you are rabid and you did, Sirius was pretty close to eating you from what I could tell." She said with a smirk. She heard him laugh behind her before ruffling her hair and sitting on the arm of the sofa James was on.

"Yeah, well, I am glad he did. You aren't scared of me?" he asked.

"Why would I be scared of you? I have known you for years."

"Because I am a monster maybe."

She reached out and took his hands.

"No, you aren't, you are one of my dearest and most trusted friends. I love you to death, Now I am not too keen on your alter ego but I don't plan on taking anymore moonlit strolls so I don't think I need to worry about him." She said with a smile.

Sirius and James both chuckled and Remus looked at her in displeasure.

"Lily this is a huge huge deal that you know." He said.

"Rem, you keep my secrets right?"

He nodded.

"You know me well enough to know that come hell or high water, I will keep yours." She stood up and pulled him into a hug, one that for the first time he whole heartedly returned.

oOoOoOoOoO

**James POV**

It was late, at least 11 when James came down from his room to see why the light was still on in the office.

"Lily, why are you still up?"

"Oh, I am reading, just reading." She mumbled.

"Too many thoughts to sleep?"

"Something like that."

"Well if you need anything, I am in here, alright." He said gently,

She nodded and turned her face to her book, the same book that was on the same page two hours ago.

He pulled his sweats off and walked to his mirror. Standing in his gold loose boxers he looked at the bruises on his sides and back. He shook his head and climbed gently into bed, laying on top of the covers. He had just opened his eyes when he heard his door creak open. He opened his eyes to see Lily standing in the door way tears streaming down her face. He sat up and slid over so she could sit down beside of him. She quickly climbed in and curled into his side, for a moment his thoughts fell back into last year of the nights they had laid together before returning to their separate beds.

"Did the shock wear off?" he asked quietly, inhaling the scent of her hair.

She nodded silently, only letting her cries be heard. He pulled her into his chest tightly and held her there, feeling her sobs wracking her body.

"Lily, I would have died before I let him hurt you. Sirius too." He whispered.

He ran his fingers through her hair and across her cheeks, wiping the tears from her cheek. It was a while before she calmed enough to look at him.

"Can I stay here tonight?" she asked timidly.

"Anything you want." He said with a smile.

She nodded and put her head back onto his chest.

"Are you sleeping in your jeans?" he asked

"I don't want to go back into my room alone." She mumbled miserably.

"Lils, I have seen you in your panties I think it will be alright." He said lightly.

She nodded and slipped her jeans off, he wasn't expecting her to unhook her bra and slip it off through the sleeve of her fitted blue shirt. He felt his mouth go dry when she threw it off the side of the bed. He looked at her legs and longed to touch them but resisted, instead he pulled her down to his bare chest and pulled the comforter over both of them, holding her with one arm the entire time.

"So, you're a stag huh?" she said sleepily.

"I am" he said with a snicker.

"That's why the patronus?" she asked.

He smiled into her hair.

"Yup, I would assume so, what I want to know though is why yours my match?"

She didn't answer, she pushed herself closer into his side and closed her eyes.

"Lily?" he said softly.

"hmmmm." She mumbled in her half sleep.

"I was so afraid I couldn't save you."

"mfmfmfmff."

"I would die if I lost you" he whispered.

"mmmhhmm."

He was quiet for a bit, until he felt her go completely limp in his arms.

"I love you Lily, forever." He barely said, before kissing the top of her head and falling asleep, breathing in everything that was Lily.


	31. Chapter 31: Waking Up

_**Thank you for the reviews.**_

_**I loved that last chapter, it is one of my favorites.**_

_**I don't think I have much ese so here we go.**_

Chapter 31

**Waking up**

**Lily POV**

She tried to open her eyes but they were so heavy, they felt as if they were being weighed down. She was insanely comfortable and warn, very, very warm. Cuddling into her pillow, it moved, that made her eyes pop open. She leaned back and looked up, seeing James still asleep, but stirring slightly with her movements. She lay back down going over the haze that was last night. She had been upset, she was irrationally scared. It was like all of the fear she should have felt while in the dark forest had settled on her in that instant, all of the panic and she couldn't restrain it. He consoled her. She vaguely remembered him whispering to her while she was falling asleep, but she couldn't remember what they had been talking about.

She turned her head up to look at him. He was so cute when he slept, well maybe cute wasn't the right word, she thought as a heat started building low in her belly. His face was smooth, a small smile playing on his lips. He looked young when he was asleep, really young. She realized that after everything that had happened last year they had never slept together overnight, this was the first time she had woken up in his arms. She liked it, more than she probably should.

"Hey pretty girl? You look deep in thought for so early in the morning."

Her eyes darted upwards and she flushed. She pulled back and sat up, he let his arm fall away from her shoulders but only let it fall so it was resting around her back.

"What time is it?" he asked

"I don't know, it isn't very bright out, it can't be very late." She muttered looking out the huge window.

She watched him fumble one handed on his side table and come back with his onyx watch.

"Hmmm, it's 7, you are up earlier than expected, with it being Wednesday we both have free periods until 10:00 I thought we would be sleeping later than this." He muttered scooting back down into his pillows and rolling to face her, throwing his free arm over her lap so that his wrists were resting on each other.

"I'm sorry for hijacking you bed." She said with a smile.

"No apologies necessary. I slept great with you in here. You are welcome in my bed anytime." He said, his face faltering when he realized how that sounded. "I didn't mean it that way." He muttered as she giggled.

"Thank you Potter, that is very sweet."

He gave her a rotten grin at the sound of his surname on his lips. It was funny how something that used to be a putdown, not caring enough to use his name, was now a way to be silly, something sweet that they only did with each other.

"Are you alright with all of this, really?" he asked intently.

"I think so. I was overwhelmed last night, and completely sleep deprived, and every time I closed my eyes I saw him as the wolf and I could see snuffles…Sirius…jumping at him and then I can still hear the sound of your bone snapping under his jaws. That's a lot to take in. And I was so cold, I don't know if I will ever be properly warm again."

"Yeah, it can be overwhelming, the first time. Well the first time that we saw him after, in third year, we waited outside of the tunnel all night. The house used to be warded so he couldn't escape. So we waited until dawn and snuck through, we found him laying in his own blood, torn to pieces, he could barely breathe and we all knew, we had to help him, somehow, someway."

She could see the sadness for his friend all over his face, she lay back down onto his chest and cuddled in closely but kept quiet, willing him to continue.

"It was Sirius actually that came up with the idea of an animagus. McGonagall she transformed in class, remember. Third year was when we covered animagi and the registry and the theory behind it? Well we all thought that was a cool bit of magic but it just slipped to the side in light of our friend's problem, then in Defense, he taught about werewolves within a week, Rem was freaking out but the professor he said, they are only a danger to humans. And in Sirius' head it clicked, all at once, you could see it on his face, he got this look and just stood up and left in the middle of the defense lecture. He got detention for three days for it." James said with a grin.

"I remember that, I remember him standing up and walking out on Professor Humperspool, I will never forget his face, I have never seen a teacher look confuse, angry, and bewildered all at the same time.

"Yup, that was it. Well I am sure Pete told you the rest but we just knew we had to do it. We couldn't stand by helpless when we could be there for him. What kind of friend would let their best mate suffer alone? We couldn't do it, well Siri and I couldn't, Pete didn't like seeing it but he was rather nervous about the transformations."

"You are very selfless." She said softly closing her eyes against his skin, he smelled so good.

"No, I just care about him, I don't like people I care about to hurt, I can't handle it, it makes me feel worthless."

"But you don't care if you hurt?"

"This doesn't hurt me at all." He shrugged.

"James, you just had a broken ankle, every month this year you have had some random injury, although this month and September were by far the worst I will give you that."

"It's a small price to pay to help someone that you care about, or that I love as you would say."

She grinned at his reference.

"We're ok, right?" he said quietly.

"I hope so, I am laying in bed beside you so if we aren't we have a really effed up relationship." She replied.

"I know, that you know, there's nothing. I get that, I don't expect there to be anything, I just, I do care Lily, I can't stop that, I need you to believe that." He said into her hair.

She nodded her head.

"I do, I do believe that. I was overly harsh with you that day." She barely got out.

"No, you weren't, I was unreasonable and ridiculous. I asked you to tell me how you felt and you did. I can't be mad about that. I decided, sometime at the beginning of this year, that no matter what, no matter how many boyfriends you have come and go, first and foremost we will be friends, I don't want to give you up entirely. I am sorry for trying to force you into a relationship. I am over all of that, I promise, I will always care about you, always, I promise I will not leave you." He said.

She couldn't speak for fear of him hearing her tears in her voice. She had forced him to get over her, and he had. And now she was going to have to live with it. She would live with it forever, she refused to hurt him again. She laid there silent against his chest while he played with a strand of her hair.

oOoOoOoOo

**James POV**

"Oi, are you two skeeving off classes today too?" he heard Sirius shout, and suddenly the blankets were ripped off of them.

James opened his eyes at the sudden change in temperature. Seeing Sirius' mouth dropped open in a perfect O he looked down to find Lily wrapped completely around him in her little shirt and very tiny panties, it didn't help that James was only in boxers. He looked up and scowled at Sirius as Lily practically wiggled underneath him for warmth in her sleep. Sirius grinned broadly and threw the blanket back over Lily.

"Sorry" he mouthed.

James pursed his lips.

"What time is it?" James whispered.

"You have class in 15 minutes." Sirius hissed.

James nodded his head and slithered until he was out of bed, he pushed pillows beside of Lily while she slept and tucked the overly fluffy comforter tightly around her. Holding his finger up to his lips he grabbed uniform pieces out of his chest and went into the office in his boxers with Sirius following.

"So, anything happen that I need to know about?" he said with a wicked grin on his face.

"No, nothing you need to know, infact nothing happened, she just slept with me, she was having a rough time, to say the very least." James replied trying to pull on his pants quickly."What are you doing here?"

"Well, you weren't up and on the pitch to run, and you weren't at breakfast, Alice, Marleen, Hestia, nor Morgan have seen Lily at all today and it is well after 9:00. I assumed you were still asleep or talking to her about everything, but I knew she would freak out if she missed another day's worth of classes. Are you not going to wake her up?"

James shook his head, causing issues as he was trying to tie his tie and walk out of the door.

"Nope, we, as in you and I, are going to take notes for her. I will tell the professor's that she is sick. The only class we don't have together is arithmancy and I can get Rem to tell the professor in that class." He said as the took off at a run for charms.

oOoOoOoOoO

**BOLD-Sirius**

_Italic- Remus_

**BOLD UL- James**

UL-Peter

How anyone survived History of Magic James had no idea, obviously not everyone did as their professor was dead he mused. He was really really trying to take notes for Lily when his wrist burned. He looked down and noticed that he was resting his hand on the enchanted parchment. Pulling it out he read Remus' writing.

_Is she alright? Really, be honest._

James looked at him and rolled his eyes in exasperation.

**She seems to be. She was freaked out last night but not by the fact that you are a werewolf, but by seeing everything first hand. I am pretty sure had she just been told and not seen it she wouldn't have batted an eyelash about it. I actually think she may have already known somehow.**

_How would she have known unless you told her?_

At this James scowled.

**Down puppy! You know he wouldn't have done that be real. Lily isn't exactly dense you know, I am sure she figured it out just like we did, you two have been doing rounds together for 3 years I bet it was easy to figure out.**

_Right, you are right, sorry Prongs._

**I did not tell her anything.**

_I know I said sorry, I just, it is hard to let someone else in you know._

James said nothing, only looked off up to Binns. He heard Sirius sigh beside him.

**What did she say to you last night, and exactly how did you end up half starkers together in your bed all night?**

_WHAT_

WHAT

**YUP**

**Thanks that is just what I wanted shared with everyone. She was cold still, she said she couldn't get warm.**

**And sleeping in her britches is a way to do that?**

**Stuff it you prat. I told her I was in my room if she needed me, it was really late and she was sitting downstairs staring at the same page for hours, I was in my room laying in bed when she opened the door. You know I sleep in boxers, I wasn't expecting her to walk in. And when she did, she was crying and I did the only thing I could, I made her sit down and I held her.**

_She walked into your room in her underpants?_

**No, she came in wearing her jeans and that little tight shirt she was wearing earlier, remember? And we talked for a long time about animagi and the fact that Sirius is a prat who destroyed her confidence in him.**

**WHAT! That is not what happened, I never meant for her to find out!**

**Settle down, she didn't say that, she wasn't even really freaked out by it, she just is afraid you told people what she talked about. I may have forgotten to tell her that you can't understand human speech when you change. She kept thinking about you attacking Moony, and I have to be honest here, that was terrifying for me to see, I can't imagine what Lily thought. I am sure it was scary for her to see a random Stag dive at a werewolf ten feet in front of her, but Sirius, you are Snuffles, you were the one that very literally saved her life. She adores Snuffles she was petrified of you dying. And be real all of us know that werewolves are scary, especially the first time you see them.**

_You are sure she is alright?_

So you never got around to how she ended up half naked in your room.

**Merlin you three are ridiculous, she was exhausted and was already in my bed so she pulled off her jeans so she could be comfortable enough to seep. She was freezing, like I almost pulled away from her she was that cold.**

**James Potter almost pulled away from Lily Evans? **

_She had to be made of ice…._

**It felt like it, she stayed against me all night and never felt much warmer. **

So how did it feel holding the girl of your dreams all night?

**He has snogged her you git, I doubt it was a bigger deal than that. Shit he has shagged her.**

**Thanks for that, again, you are such a great friend to bring all of this out in the open. And I don't think I want to talk about it. It was just a one time thing, we aren't together, at all, I told her it was fine, that we were just friends and I wouldn't make it weird. I am not trying to date her or anything.**

_You told her what!_

Really James, are you stupid?

**Are you thick, what the fuck is the matter with you?**

**Hey! I don't want that road again. I can't do that. I can't lose her again, I just can't so drop it.**

The parchment remained blank after that as James went back to attempting class notes and the other three stared at him in shock.

oOoOoOoOoO

That day dragged by, with no sign of Lily at all, he had assumed she would wake up at some point and show up to a class but she had not. He was in for a 40 minute break in between Runes and Transfiguration so he went to check on her.

She wasn't in the office, nor in her room, he decided to check his just in case. She was there, still curled into the same place he had left her. He sat behind her on the bed an put his arm over her waist, leaning forward to quietly wake her up, the last thing he wanted to do was scare her. But when his lips brushed the side of her face the heat radiating off of her was incredible. He leaned back and placed a hand on her forehead. She was burning up, it was like someone had put a warming spell on her.

Looking at her he could see that something was wrong, her lips were really pale and her eyes were red around them, even in sleep, her face was white as a ghost except for the fevered red patches on her cheeks.

"Lily, Lily wake up love." He said softly running his hands through her hair.

Her eyes fluttered open slightly and she looked at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Cold, so cold." She muttered.

"I know, you have a fever. I think your foray out into the frozen grounds has caught up with you."

Her eyes rolled a bit and refocused.

"Are you dizzy?"

She nodded her head. He traced the side of her face with his fingers. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her face into his hand.

"I am going to let McGonagall know you are sick and then bring you food, will it be alright if I have Sirius or Remus come sit with you?"

She mumbled incoherently, he took that as a yes and pulled the parchment out of his bag.

**I need one of you, now, Lily is sick, really bad sick.**

**Two seconds**

_On my way_

I am in muggle studies

Not five minutes later Sirius and Remus were down in the office as James came out of his room.

"What's up?" Sirius asked.

"She is sick, really sick, she is burning up, and barely talking, I don't think she has moved since I left this morning."

"Will she be alright if I go in there?" Remus asked nervously.

"She isn't the one being weird about this Moony, you are, just go tell me what to do." James snapped.

Remus nodded and started up the stairs followed closely by James and Sirius.

When they got into the room Sirius practically jumped onto the bed and scurried up beside of her.

"Hey Lily bear, wake up." He said, James and Remus rolled their eyes at the ridiculous nickname he had given her a few weeks back.

She opened her eyes a bit and smiled.

"Snuffles." She muttered and reached her hand up to pat his head.

Sirius grinned happily.

"That's me, you are burning up Lil'bit. Remmy is going to look you over alright?"

"James?" she asked before breaking into a cough.

He walked around Remus and sat on her other side.

"Hey pretty girl. I am here, what do you need?"

"You." She mumbled and laid her head on his leg.

James looked up at Sirius with a pained expression, while Sirius had a smirk that said plainly, yeah you are so done with her.

"Remus is going to look at you so I know what to tell McGonagall."

She nodded her head slightly and promptly got sick all over James' lap and Remus' shoes. Sirius who had been behind her was holding her up one hand gripping her shoulder the other wrapped around her waist. When she finished she looked up at James and started crying.


	32. Chapter 32: Feelings

**_So I don't really like this chapter, I am quite disappointed in it._**

**_But I want it in here so I am leaving it._**

**_Glad you like the quick updates._**

**_This is a med rating so I guess a T or a T+_**

Chapter 32

**Feelings**

"Ssssshhhh it's alright Lily, shhh" he said putting his hand on the back of her head and looking at the pools of sick all around and on his bed willing himself not to get sick in response.

"Your bed." She whimpered.

"It's just a bed…and clothes…I…I…hmmm." James said, ending his sentence because his stomach was getting queasy.

Remus stepped in, kneeling down and meeting her at eye level.

"Lily, you are really sick, I don't need to examine you to know that, I am going to go to McGonagall and tell her how sick you are. James and Sirius are going to get you cleaned up and on my way I am going to let the house elves know that James needs new bedding and that you need something to eat. I'll be back, but until then, let James and Sirius help you alright?"

She continued to cry.

"Your shoes and slacks!"

"Really Lily, I wake up covered in mud and blood and completely naked once a month I think I am going to be alright. You need to get her in the shower, a cool one, it will lower her temperature and she needs cleaned up."

"And you want us to give her a shower?" James said dumbly.

"Well seeing as all of the girls are now in Transfiguration yes I think you should. And it isn't like you haven't seen her naked already. For Merlin's sake either take care of her or take her to the hospital wing." Remus said in frustration.

"We've got it, I'll even help." Sirius said urgently. "Do what you have to do."

Remus nodded and left the room.

"Since when are you great at taking care of sick people?"

" Since everytime you drink too much firewiskey and I don't, it's just that we usually only do it together so those times are rare. And I took care of Reg a lot when we were little and he was sick, my parents aren't exactly the comforting type. Just get her up and the bathroom Prongs." Sirius coaxed.

"I will avada you before I let you take a shower with her." James said bluntly causing Sirius to burst into laughter, even Lily chuckled.

By the time they had everything figured out James was shirtless and carrying a sleeping Lily wedding style into their shared bathroom. Sirius decided that a bath would be less exposing than a shower so he ran the water into the huge tub and closed the door behind him. His job was to go into Lily's room and find clothes for her to wear.

James sat Lily on the side of the tub and smiled grimly at her, she leaned against his shoulder.

"I can do this myself James." She barely whispered.

"Uhm, you can barely sit up Lils. Tell you what, you do it and if you need help I will help ok. I will sit here and you can lean on me, I'll close my eyes."

She smiled and started to pull her shirt over her head, she actually got it off before falling sideways back into James' arms. This was torture, he thought. His eyes were closed but he knew too well what she looked like naked, and her bare skin was wrapped with his arms and leaning against the side of his chest. He breathed deep as he felt her wiggle to slide in the water, he opened one eye to peek over at her.

"I can't make sure you aren't drowning if I can't see you." He said with a smirk. "Are you alright?"

"I'm dizzy."

"I am opening my eyes." He said firmly.

He did and looked directly into her face, her eyes holding his hostage. He held her shoulders tightly as she slipped into the water.

"James my panties are still on." She muttered.

He grinned.

"I know, I didn't figure it would be the greatest of ideas for me to strip you right now, or watch you strip. At least under the bubbles I can't see you."

He kicked off his shoes and stood, letting go of her for just a minute, pulled his wet, vomited on slacks off and threw them into the corner with her shirt, leaving his boxers on. Knowing that the water was anything but hot or even warm he stepped in behind her pulling her against him. She was like his own personal water heater.

"Lils, you are burning up."

"I'm cold." She mumbled.

"You have to take your panties off Lil, you puked all over them." He muttered nervously.

He didn't know if this would have been easier or harder if they hadn't already had sex, but either way he wasn't sure what to think about. The fact that her fever was so high she was shaking in his arms, and had thrown up all over him, or that she was about to be completely naked in his arms, clinging to him. She nodded her head in response to his statement and stood up, using the side of the bath for support, he tried to turn his head as to not see her but he was not quick enough and he felt like someone had glued him in position.

Yes she was sick but she was insanely gorgeous. No one could compare to her for him. He knew, he had tried. Morgan was the third girl he had shagged since Lily and now, after looking at her it was pretty pointless to try and make it what it wasn't, it wasn't Lily. He let his eyes roam down the deep curve in her back, over the flat planes of her stomach, to the tops of her thighs that he could see above the water. He watched her grip the side tightly her knuckles turning white, she looked like she was going to throw up again.

"Lily, are you alright?"

"I don't care, leave them on, the water will wash them." She said groggily her head lolling to the side a bit. She leaned back to sit down and threw up down her front and onto the side of the tub.

He sighed pulled her back into the bath, grabbed the side of the lacy briefs and pulled them off with little difficulty, her head was leaned against his chest, she had ended up in his lap. Naked, in his lap.

"Lily." He said.

There was no response at all.

"Lily!" he said louder.

She jumped a bit and started crying, she had fallen back to sleep that quickly in his arms.

"Shhhh, Shhh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Let's was you off and get you in your bed." He said lightly into her ear.

Biting his lip he took a cloth and wiped her shoulders and back, he felt like he couldn't breathe as he rinsed her stomach and chest, cleaning the vomit off of her. It was amazing how the sight of someone else's puke could make you sick until that someone was naked in your lap and that was all you could think about. His hand had gone motionless on her stomach, he was staring at the curve of her neck lost to all thought. A quick rap on the door jolted him from his daze.

"Jamie are you guys alright?" Sirius yelled from the other side.

"I am, she's really sick, she hasn't cooled of at all and is sleeping."

"In the tub?" Sirius said, confused.

"Yup, in the tub." James replied.

"Er…How are you going to get her out of there?" Sirius asked.

James hadn't thought of that, how was he supposed to wrap her in a towel while holding her.

"Uh, I don't know." He said honestly, Sirius laughed through the door.

"Do you need help?"

"She isn't exactly decent right now." James replied bluntly. "I can get her out, but I can't get her upstairs, I have not washed at all, and she puked again in here so I really need to step in the shower, I'll get her out, can you carry her up?"

"Sure. Tell me when to open the door."

James got off of the raised ledge and waded over to the steps. With Lily hoisted into his arms he climbed out. He walked to the shower and pulled his robe off of his hook with his teeth. Sitting on the floor and resting her in his lap he pulled his robe around her, it was huge, exactly how he wanted it if she was going to be in Sirius' arms. She woke briefly while he put her arms in. She met his eyes, confusion and exhaustion all over her face.

"Sirius is going to take you to bed. I am going to hop in the shower, and I will be up alright?" She just looked at him in response. "Siri, come in." he called.

Sirius walked through wearing one of James' Tshirts, as Lily had puked on his arm. James stood and lifted her with him. Sirius placed his arms against James' and took her against himself.

"Why is she in your robe?" Sirius smirked.

"Hers is too revealing, believe me I have seen her in it, it is short." He griped.

Sirius laughed and turned towards the door to take her to her room.

"Come on Lily bear let's get you settled for the night." Sirius muttered as he left.

Burying his face in his hands James walked over to the single shower and turned the water on as hot as he could, stripped off his boxers and stepped under. He pushed the water off of his face and groaned. How could he have put himself right back in position to have to get over her again? He had promised he wasn't going to do it, he swore he was going to get over her, but seeing her, holding her, feeling her lean on him and knowing that she wanted to lean on him broke down every wall that he had built. In his room when she had said his name his whole world crashed around him. How was he to stay away from her when she needed him? He couldn't be that guy.

He jumped when Sirius walked in and let the door snap shut behind him.

"Remus is here, he is trying to get her to drink something, she wants you, her fever is high James. Remus says we need to take her to the hospital, she is crying, she doesn't want to go."

"What am I supposed to do? She is bloody sick because of me." He said in exasperation.

"James you sound like Moony. Just go up there and convince her to go. She will listen to you."

James shut off the shower and reached for his robe, that was not there.

"Damn it, Lily is in my robe, throw me a towel."

Sirius threw a towel over the screen that blocked the inside of the shower. James came out, shaking the water from his hair with a towel wrapped around his waist. Realizing he had forgotten his clothes he huffed and walked out of the bathroom and up to his room to get dressed before going to see Lily.

He walked through his door to see Remus sitting on the side of his bed and Lily curled up in his robe tears on her face.

"You took her to my room!" James said as he turned to look at Sirius.

He raised his hands as if to say, how was I to know.

"I told you to put her in bed." James said exasperated

"I did." Sirius defended.

"I said in her room."

"No you said upstairs, I found her in your room, I put her back where I found her." Sirius shrugged.

James pinched his nose and went to his chest to fish out underpants and pants. Knowing he wouldn't be leaving her again he grabbed a pair of sweats and pointed at the door, intending for Remus and Sirius to leave the room. Once they stepped out he walked to the far side of the bed, away from where Lily was facing and pulled on his bottoms. Before donning a shirt he pushed the door open to let his friends in.

"So, McGonagall said to keep her here unless she gets worse then take her to Pomphrey, Alice and Marleen will be here in a bit to help you get her dressed, and I told Minnie that you and Sirius had been bystanders in a puking incident so she said as long as we read section 5 and complete an acceptable human transfiguration in the next class that she won't mark us out.

Do you want her here or the hospital?" Remus said, leaning against the door frame. Sirius was sitting on the desk chair, tipping it back on its hind legs. James sat on the bed beside Lily softly stroking the damp hair at her forehead.

"Lily, you need to go to the hospital wing."

"No, keep me here, with you."

"You are so sick Lils" he said

"Please." She barely whispered.

"If you get worse I am calling the nurse, understood."

She nodded slightly and looked queasy, James quickly jumped up.

oOoOoOoO

It was late and Lily had refused all attempts to take James' robe off or be put in her room. So far he hadn't left her side except to go to dinner, in which Alice laid in bed beside Lily and read a magazine, and Sirius sat with her so that he could take care of some head's stuff, which he was doing now. He was filling out the prefects schedule for the next month when Soryn came through the opening.

"Hey Soryn, what are you doing?"

"Is Sirius in here?" she asked bluntly.

Distracted by the papers in front of him, he answered without really putting much thought in it.

"Yup, he's in my room, the door is open you can go on in."

About a minute later Soryn came stomping down the steps Sirius running after her.

"It's not like that, she is sick, I am watching her for Jamie."

"Like hell you are, she is in a bath robe Sirius."

"Really, ask James, he would hex me before letting me touch Lily."

"Oh, you want me to ask Mr. I have no issue sharing my girlfriends?"

James' face went pink.

"That was different Soryn, you two were made for each other." He protested

"Bull shit. You were shagging Evans and needed somewhere to dump me so Sirius picked up for you." She said angrily.

James didn't know what to say, that was very close to what had happened.

"Not exactly." Sirius muttered.

"Er, duties are over, I am going to go check on Lily, Remus said her potion would be due in about an hour so I am going to give it to her and you two can use the office." James said, pointing his wand at the door for emergency settings and walking up to his room to escape the awkward situation.

He couldn't help but smile when he saw her buried in his blankets and wrapped in his robe still. He walked over and kissed her forehead, feeling the heat radiating off of her, just like his mum used to do to him. She seemed a little cooler but not by much. She mumbled and opened her eyes when he pulled away.

"Hey pretty girl." He said softly

She smiled at his familiar greeting.

"I feel like shit." She mumbled.

He couldn't stop the laughter that burst out of his mouth at her bluntness. He sat down beside her, she threw the blanket off, James tried to keep his eyes on her face, as the robe was thrown every which way and was only covering the most important places.

"Er, Lils, you are only wearing a bathrobe." He muttered, embarrassed.

"It's hot." She whined.

"You have a fever, madam Pomphrey said that this potion would help you sweat it out, you have had three doses and it's time for the fourth, she said you should be good to go by Friday if you take it all."

"It's hot." She whimpered again.

He smiled and kissed her temple.

"Temperature check?" she asked.

"Nope, just a kiss." He replied, she smiled slightly.

He stood and pulled his shirt off before climbing into the bed beside her. Pulling her up against him with her back to his chest, he rubbed her hair softly waiting for her to go back to sleep. Which she did quickly. He was so tired he started to drift off smelling her hair.

OoOoOoO

James woke up suddenly when Lily broke into a coughing fit. It had to be really late, he pulled his wrist up to look at his watch, 2:00AM. He looked over at Lily, she was drenched in sweat, the potion was obviously working, but she looked miserable. She was on her stomach, her head on his shoulder. The covers had been thrown to the floor and the robe that had been her security all afternoon was now being used as a pillow. Her bare leg was thrown over his waist, and his hand was resting along her nude side. He grabbed the sheet from over him and threw it over her bottom half, leaving her leg where it was, just resting his hand on her thigh. He breathed in deeply. He couldn't see how he was going to recover from this again.


	33. Chapter 33: Honesty

**_This is certainly not all fluff. But parts of it are pretty flufftastic._**

**_I don't own it._**

Chapter 33

**Honesty**

**Lily POV**

Saturday morning broke bright and early and James was still sound asleep when Lily opened her eyes. He was wrapped around her one hand in her hair and the other splayed across her stomach. The chill of the morning air made her shiver so she wiggled back, closer into his chest. She loved that he was still sleeping shirtless, even with her in his bed with her. Yesterday she had just started feeling a bit better, she was even wearing pajama shorts and a camisole. Somehow she was still in James' bed though.

Feeling like she needed to move she sat up and stretched her arms above her head. Her movement caused James' hands to fall from her hair to her lower back and from her midriff into her lap. In reflex his hand gripped her thigh and she went breathless. The familiar tingling in her stomach was there again. She reached her hand out and ran her fingers through his hair. His eyes drifted open slowly, it took him a moment for him to wake up all of the way.

"Good morning." She said with a smile." Her hand still on the side of his hair.

He smiled and leaned up on his elbow, pulling his hand from her thigh.

"You look like you are feeling better." He observed.

"I am, I want a shower, I don't think I have had one since the morning we got back from the forest."

She noticed his entire face flush and he got nervous.

"Oh, well, I am certain that you want a shower after being so sick but you did get a bath on Wednesday afternoon. You got sick all over…well everywhere, myself, Remus and Sirius included. We had to get you cleaned up. I didn't know what else to do so I just uhm, well I was going to just sit there with my eyes shut but you were really out of it and kept falling asleep and Rem said we had to lower your temperature."

"James, stop rambling." She said with a grin.

"Right, well, and don't be mad, but I sort of gave you a bath, as in held you in my lap in the tub and washed you off, that is how you ended up in my robe when you woke up yesterday. It was more coverage than yours and Sirius carried you up here instead of your room. Don't be mad, I swear I didn't take any advantage." He said very quickly.

She was blushing but leaned forward and pulled his chin up forcing him to look at her.

"I could never be mad at you for taking care of me James. Thank you, for sharing your bed with me too." She replied softly, her fingers still touching his cheek.

"Lily, I…" he stopped and stared into her eyes, pulled her hand from his face and kissed her palm. "I would do anything for you. You know that. Besides, I already told you, you can share my bed anytime, turns out you are very comfortable to sleep with." He muttered into her hand.

She laughed pushed his hair from his eyes with her free hand, his lips still pressed against her other.

"I am going to take a shower, and brush my teeth, I think I will feel normal again if I do that."

He nodded but had a sad look in his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head and released her hand.

"Nothing, I am fine, just glad you are feeling so much better." He said obviously forcing a smile.

Deciding to let it go she stood and stretched, it felt good to move.

"Lily, you really, really are absolutely gorgeous." He said, conviction lacing every murmur of his voice.

She laughed,

"I am so certain, with my mess of sick hair and grossness all over me."

"Your hair is always perfect, and I am the only thing that has been all over you since you had your last bath so I wouldn't be too concerned." He said nonchalant.

"Either way, I need a shower." She replied with a grin as she walked out of his door for the first time in 4 days.

**James POV**

He watched her walk out and fell backwards onto his pillows. His bed was going to feel very lonely now.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

"Damn it Remus! You are such a cheat!" James yelled as Remus beat him in yet another game of chess.

"I am not a cheat, you are just horrible at chess." He replied.

"Step aside Jamie, I will show him how it is done." Sirius said as he stood and walked over to the board. Remus smiled at the challenge.

James plopped onto the couch beside Lily making her laugh when she bounced a bit.

"What'cha doin?" he said with a smile.

"Well, I am trying to catch up on four days worth of work. Probably what you should be doing."

"Meh, I'll get around to it. I have rounds in 15 minutes, no time for homework."

"Oh, who are you doing rounds with? You did the schedule while I was sick."

"Myself. I accidentally forgot to schedule anyone so I am going to go myself, and write Sirius a pass to be out after curfew"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"I will go with you, I haven't had duty all week. Remus has covered my time, besides if Sirius goes who is going to beat Remus?" she said with a grin.

"No one, check mate, I win, Sirius you go with Prongs." Remus said joyfully.

"Arrogant git!" Sirius said in awe, looking at the board.

"You're not going Lils, you have been in bed all week and you have only been up and about today and you aren't pushing it. Besides McGonagall pulled you from duties until Monday. So you stay and play Rem and I will go with Sirius. I win!" he said with a huge smile.

"For the first and probably last time ever." Sirius muttered, causing everyone to burst into laughter.

oOoOoOo

Sirius was bouncing around somewhere behind James, planting sticking charms to random places on the floor, as he rounded a corner close to the Ravenclaw common room.

"You are a goofy prat you know that!" he yelled back at Sirius.

He heard a thump from inside a broom cupboard to his right and a voice utter an urgent ssssshhhhh. He frowned to himself. He hated breaking up these sessions, but with Lily gone he had to show he was responsible. He pulled the door open just as Sirius caught up with him, his face shining with laughter, until Soryn and seventh year Ravenclaw Prefect Fredrick Macmillan fell, entwined, out of the closet. The steadied them selves and she pulled her skirt down from around her waist and hurriedly rebuttoned her shirt while he tried to do up the fly on his slacks.

James just stared open mouthed for about 10 seconds before he found his voice.

"What the bloody hell are you doing? You are an effing prefect!" he said angrily.

"Fuck that, what the hell do you think you are doing you are my effing girlfriend!" Sirius roared.

Fredrick looked too shocked to say anything while Soryn's face was white as a sheet.

"Sirius, you can't do this here. It is too late at night. You can't do this now." James said.

"Like hell I am not doing this now!"

"Ok, ok, I know, please just…Soryn, Fredrick, head's office now." James said authoritatively.

"You can not force us to go to your office so he can fight with his girlfriend." Fredrick said snottily.

"You are right I can't, but I can force you to go to write you up for breaking school rules and abdicating prefect standards and I can make her go for being out three hours after curfew."

"He is out after curfew." Soryn said angrily.

"That is all you have to say?!" Sirius shouted

"Sirius, shut up and go to the office, now! And not that it is any of your concern he has a note from McGonagall to accompany me seeing as the head girl is ill and I made a stupid error on the schedule. Now I will gladly accompany you, to my office." He said firmly.

Ten minutes later and James closed the door behind him, shutting himself, Remus, Lily, Fredrick, Sirius and Soryn into the office. Remus and Lily looked confused but nervous, as Sirius was obviously furious.

"Fredrick, you will come with me for your write up and your punishment. We will fill them out at my desk. I will be taking 15 points from Ravenclaw total and Soryn you have detention tomorrow for breaking curfew one moment and I will give you the papers to give to Flitwick in the morning." James said calmly.

"I would think you could ask the people this doesn't involve to leave." Fredrick said angrily.

"This involves everyone here. Sirius is my witness to your behavior, Remus is a fellow prefect and will be escorting you back to your tower and Lily is the head girl and is privy to any meeting that I am involved in. Now sit."

Fredrick was fuming and threw himself into a chair as James started writing. Lily walked over behind him to watch what he was scribbling, only glancing up to see Sirius staring blankly at Soryn.

"Go ahead, there is no point in waiting now." She said bitterly.

All of the fight seemed to seep out of him as he looked at her. He collapsed onto the sofa still staring at her.

"Why?" he choked.

"It isn't like you haven't been cheating on me." She said bitterly.

"It is exactly like that. I have not run around on you once, not at all. I haven't even thought about it." He stammered, his honesty showing all over his face.

"What about Lily?"

Lily looked up, her mouth dropping in shock. James shook his head in dismay as he handed Fredrick the papers and pointed him out of the office.

"I'll wait." He said stubbornly.

"You won't. Remus, please take him to Ravenclaw tower and finish off the rounds." James stated.

Remus nodded and pulled Fredrick out by the arm.

"I never cheated on you with Lily!"

"Bull shit!" Soryn yelled just as Remus shut the door.

"Are you bloody mad? She is so head over heels for James it is sickening. I couldn't convince her to date me if I wanted to, which I don't because I DON"T LIKE HER THAT WAY!"

James looked over at Lily after Sirius' little outburst. He saw her cheeks flaming with color, she was looking anywhere but at him. He stood and ripped the detention slip off of the pad of paper and walked it to Soryn, placing it in her hand.

"I am going to leave you two alone, unless you want to go now. Otherwise, come to my room before you leave and I will walk you back to the tower."

"Oh am I allowed to leave now?" she spat.

"Of course, I won't force you to be shouted at."

"You're one to talk." Sirius said angrily glaring at James.

James looked at him, empathy visible in his eyes.

"That is why I won't make her be yelled at. I will not let you make my mistakes Siri."

"I want to go back to the tower now." Soryn said quietly.

James nodded and walked to the door.

"We are done." Sirius said barely above a whisper.

"We have been done for a while." Soryn replied coldly before striding infront of James and out of the door.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

James walked back into the office and stopped upon seeing Lily petting the head of an enormous black dog. He smiled sadly and walked over to them. Sitting down on the sofa beside her, he too patted the dog's head.

"Where's Moony?"

"He went to change into bed clothes and he will be coming back through your room soon. He won't listen to me, it's like he doesn't understand what I'm saying." She said, obviously meaning Sirius.

"He can't understand you. All he knows is that you are sad, and in his head he knows that you are sad for him." James replied.

She looked royally confused.

"What? No he has listened to me loads of times. And he listens to you when you tell him to do things."

"No, he reads my lips and he knows me so well in human form or in animal form he can usually understand me, as animals, he does understand me completely. But we have spent so much time together he can read me perfectly. We can always understand Moony, wolf or not because his animal side is always a part of him. He did listen to you but he didn't understand all of your words but your emotions and your feelings. When you are an animal everything is much simpler, you can feel the tension and the joy in people. Your own feelings are simpler too, you know you are sad but you can see everything objectively without it hurting too terribly. That is why he transformed. He can't handle this pain right now. Losing the person you think you love hurts, it is too much to bear all at once."

"I am sorry." She murmered.

"Whatever for?" he asked, bewildered.

"I did this to you last year." She said sadly as Remus and Pete walked in through James' door.

"How is he?" Remus asked

James looked down at the dog which was glaring at him. You could see the tension and anger rolling off of his fur.

"He is pissed at me. I think he may have turned to keep from repaying me for my punch." James said with a smirk.

"Lily told me. You were right to do that. He knows it, just doesn't want to admit it." Remus said walking up to Sirius and kneeling in front of him. "Hey. Either change back, punch James and then we can all sit and talk about this now, or come with me to the dorm, bitch about James, forgive him overnight and tell him in the morning, you decide."

James' face went pale when Sirius transformed on the spot and turned to face him. He flinched a bit as he stepped towards him.

"I can't believe you did that." He said bluntly.

"I couldn't stand there and watch that Sirius. I couldn't do it. I know you, I know how mad you are, I know how badly I feel for everything I said to Lily out of anger. I don't want you to have that to deal with."

"That wasn't your choice."

"No but it was hers whether or not to listen to it. She could have stayed, she didn't want to fight Sirius. I didn't want her to hurt you more." James said looking down at the floor.

"How in hell could she possibly have hurt me more?"

"By telling you that she had been fucking Fredrick all year long. He told me on the way, I hexed him and left him in the same closet James found them in." Remus said honestly.

Sirius' mouth dropped and his eyes glassed over.

"You knew?" Sirius growled at James.

"No, not before, it was something Macmillan said while I was doing his write up. I knew she would throw that at you the first time you said something hurtful, I didn't want you to find out that way. I never would have brought them back here had I known, shit you would have known immediately had I found that out. I'm sorry, I just. I don't know. You know I have a hero complex." James said desperately causing all four members of his audience to snicker, Sirius even grinned.

"You do have a bloody complex. I just want to be alone. Is that possible?" he asked.

Remus and Pete nodded while James stood and said,

"Sure thing, use my room, I can stay down here. I have papers to fill out anyways. Stupid file systems. You know where my sleep pants are so you don't have to go back to the dorm."

Sirius nodded his head and followed Remus and Pete up James' staircase as they headed back to their room, just the two of them.

James sat back down letting his head fall into his hands. He sat that way for a while until he felt Lily grab his shoulders and pull him over into her arms.

"He'll be alright." She murmured.

"I know, he just has been through so much at home that I hate to see him hurt somewhere else." He replied miserably. "And this is my fault, I did pawn her off onto him."

"He is a big boy, I am sure he was more than happy to take her off your hands."

"It just sucks."

"I am sure he felt just as badly for you." She mumbled into his hair. He shivered at her breath on his neck.

"Really Lily that doesn't matter anymore." He said as he turned to face her.

"It does matter. It really does. I want you to understand. I was so scared, am so scared. You were never ever nothing to me. You weren't nothing." She insisted.

He frowned as he watched her eyes swim with tears.

"I know I wasn't." he replied before kissing the one tear that escaped from her cheek.

"You still aren't." she barely uttered,

He pulled her into his arms and leaned back, holding her against his chest.

"I'm glad." He whispered into her ear.

They stayed that way, James with one leg on the sofa along the back, Lily laying on her side between his legs her head cradled into his chest, and him with his arms wrapped around her. They stayed quiet for so long, contemplating everything that had happened in the last few weeks, in the last few days and minutes that they both drifted off to sleep, once again completely wrapped up in one another.


	34. Chapter 34: Derailed Conversations

**_You can thank all these back to back updates on my _**

**_ Non sleeping, teething, 7 month old son : P_**

**_As I am writing at all hours of the night while he plays…_**

**_Yes I feel guilty for hurting Sirius, especially as he is one of my top three favorite characters of all time._**

**_Guess what, I am also writing a completely original novel. _**

**_Well Trilogy really. It is even being reviewed by a publisher : )_**

**_I am really excited about it._**

**_Well anyway, here we go!_**

Chapter 34

**Derailed Conversations**

For once, the train home for Christmas was calm and quiet. Peter had gone home to his parents a week early, having gotten an urgent owl that his sister had passed away. James, Sirius and Remus had tried to go with him but he insisted that he be left alone, he did not want company on a trip like this. Remus was staying at Hogwarts until Christmas eve morning when Mr. Potter would be flooing him and Marleen to the manor for the annual Christmas ball that the Potters always held. Even against James and Sirius' insistence he had wanted to stay at the castle since Marleen had to stay. They had vowed to find out what was happening with that upon their return to Hogwarts.

Sirius was pretty quiet these days when left to his own devices. So sitting in the compartment with Lily and Alice both trying to complete all of their holiday revisions before even getting home, Hestia reading a witch weekly, Sirius not talking much and James staring out the window was an unusually quiet event.

James was thinking to himself about how somehow he had not slept alone since the night Lily found out about Remus. They had either conveniently fallen asleep talking on the couch together, or laying on James' bed doing homework, or twice in Lily's room after discussing private head's business. She always ended up in his arms, every night, and he loved it. But he was confused by it. They were not dating, they were not snogging, in fact he was technically still talking to Morgan, though they hadn't done anything physical since a few weeks before Lily got sick. He had come up with several excuses of being too busy and was practicing the team extra hard, as their second match, against Hufflepuff, was the second week of January, only 11 days after their return to school. He knew he needed to talk to her but he was nervous to disrupt the flow of his extraordinary team right before the game. He knew she wouldn't be upset, they had a pretty simple arangement going on. But he wanted to be kind. Lily pretty much ignored that situation. Everyone had let him think to himself in peace, until Morgan came in to see James that was. She sat down in the space between him and Sirius, smiling radiantly when James turned to look at her.

"Hey Morgs." He said with a friendly smile.

"Hey J I was just coming to see you before we pull in and I don't see you for the next two weeks."

She didn't notice James flinch at the nickname she had given him, he hated it. She did notice Lily look daggers at her, and James noticed Sirius scowl over her shoulder. The look was so menacing that he faltered in responding.

"Oh, uhm, well alright." He answered lamely.

She smiled and leaned in to his ear whispering so no one but he, and Sirius, who was sitting that close to them, could hear.

"Come to my compartment with me. It is empty."

"Alright." James said slowly.

He stood and followed her out glancing apologetically at Lily and nervously at Sirius.

oOoOoOoOoO

He returned not even 20 minutes later to take his seat back by the window. He did not fail to notice that Lily's eyes were red rimmed, Alice and Hestia appeared irritated and Sirius looked pissed. He wasn't quite sure what to say. Sirius fixed that problem though.

"You have to break up with her." He said bluntly.

To anyone else it sounded like an order, to James he heard the plea behind it and saw not only Sirius' discomfort but also the way his eyes flitted to Lily. He had to decide quickly if he wanted to carry on this conversation in front of everyone.

"She isn't my girlfriend." He replied simply

"Then quit dating her."

"I'm not dating her really." He said in a strained voice, wishing Sirius would drop this till a better time.

"Fine stop shagging her then." Sirius said with harshly with a completely straight face.

All three of the girls' mouths dropped open, James looked skyward and huffed, knowing there was no longer a way to avoid this.

"I haven't been with her since November, at all. But what do you want me to say to her Siri. You are the one that pushed me to be more than friends with her, in front of her. Please tell me what to do because I am at a loss." He said in a tired voice, a distressed Sirius was exhausting.

"Tell her that I changed my mind. Tell her that I never stopped liking her and that because you are my best friend that you can't date her or kiss her or shag her. Tell her that I am selfish and arrogant and fickle but that you love me and my ridiculous ways and you have to respect my wishes."

James looked at him and smiled.

"Are you threatening to break up with me my love?" he joked.

"I am threatening to break something of yours." Sirius replied with a grin, meaning that he only half meant that threat.

"You don't think this is going to hurt her?"

"I think that it is too late to not hurt someone." James heard the double meaning behind his words even if no one else did." Besides, you don't seem that interested anymore Jamesie."

"It's not that I'm not…well it is…Sirius this is really bad timing for this mate." James stuttered.

Sirius grinned broadly.

"I think it is perfect timing. Did you invite her to your Mum and Dad's Christmas ball?"

James scowled at his best friend.

"No, I did not. Though she knows about it, I did not invite her. And it isn't that I lost interest…Shit this is going to sound horrible can we please carry this on later." He plead.

"Nope" Sirius popped his lips on the P.

"I wasn't interested in a relationship with her. She knows that, or at least she knew that. I told her outright that I don't do relationships, not real ones at least."

"Wait a minute, you basically told a girl that she was good enough to shag but not good enough to date…or marry for that matter." Hestia said, bursting out in laughter.

James let his head bang against the cold window. He was missing their quiet ride.

"I didn't say anything about marriage, who was talking about marriage?" he said.

Alice and Hestia laughed, Lily was a pale shade of pink and was looking at James with a pitiful expression.

"James let me explain something to you." Hestia said "When you date someone, really date them, you are just seeing if you are compatible for marriage. So when you tell them that you are happy to shag their brains out but you don't want to date them you are basically saying that they just aren't marriage material."

James' head shot up with a blank look on his face. Sirius suddenly seemed to realize what he had inadvertently done and cut in.

"That's not always true. It isn't. Is that how you felt when you and James were going at it Alice?" he said none to tactfully. She blushed up to her hair even though everyone knew about her and James' fling more than a year ago.

"No, it isn't. But he never said that to me either. We never said anything about not wanting to date, we said that we wanted to see how we could be together and have fun in the process." Now James was beet red too, remembering that summer. "But we weren't shagging, not even close."

"You came in my room with his boxers on." Sirius said dryly.

"Merlin Sirius shut up!" James yelled, burying his face in his robes.

"Ok, so maybe it got close a couple of times but we never did. And he never said he didn't want to date me. I agree with Hestia, that is pretty much what you are telling someone that you want to screw and not date, that they aren't good enough for you." She said with a shrug.

James' entire face went white, he stood up and walked out of the compartment without saying a word letting the door slam behind him.

Lily quickly switched seats, fell into Sirius' arms bursting into tears instantly. Her friends looked alarmed but very confused.

"Are you two that thick or are you honestly forgetting what went down between these two last year? I would like to thank you both from the bottom of my heart for telling my best friend that he isn't good enough to marry or date the girl he has been madly in love with for almost seven years. Great job. I am sure Lily appreciates it too." He said coldly as he pushed her hair off of her face.

Both girls instantly realized how stupid they had been and rushed to pull Lily into their arms to make her feel better. Sirius stood to walk out.

"You started it." Hestia said with a hiss.

"No, I was trying to make him say in front of Lily that Morgan was nothing to him. I wanted him to admit it. I wasn't going to take it to where you did."

"She knew he was screwing Morgs, she lives in our dorm." Hestia argued.

"Yes I know she knows that, but she needs to know that he doesn't love her and that he is just scared to hurt the poor girl's feelings. James will never, never be over Lily, he said it himself, he doesn't do relationships. Think about it, he was all ready to jump into anything with Lily last year. What do you think made him not want to be a boyfriend? And you two swats just secured in his mind that he will never be good enough for her. Great move. I am going to go find him."

Thirty minutes later he was back in his original spot looking dejected, having not been able to find James. Lily was just calming down, and was fixing her make up, the other two apologizing over and over. They all looked up eagerly, expecting James when the compartment door slid open. They all shrank back a bit when Morgan walked in, waves of anger rolling off of her.

"Er…hey." Sirius said lamely. "James isn't here."

Morgan looked at him defiant.

"I know, he is in the compartment I was in earlier, alone. You need to know I don't feel like I am not good enough for him. I never wanted to marry him, though he is well worth marriage. This was mutual, we both agreed to it. I never wanted to date James, I wanted to date you but you up and got a girlfriend on me after three years of driving me batty. James wanted someone to talk to and one thing led to another and I was fine with it and so was he. You are wrong he is a great guy and worth much more than anyone gives him credit for." She said angrily looking at the girls at the end. Lily buried her face in Alice's shoulder.

"You, you wanted to date me?" Sirius said mystified.

"Yes dimwit. You. I wanted to date you but you were no longer available, I lost my chance, and then you practically threw me at James. So there you have it."

Sirius stared at her as she left the carriage with another slam of the door.

oOoOoOoOoO

"James really, be sensible, Lily does not think that you aren't worth her." Sirius said for the umpteenth time.

"No it makes sense everything they said makes perfect sense." He muttered.

"Think about it you git, you are the only one she wanted when she was sick. She wouldn't let anyone else touch her. She could barely hold her head up, was out of it and she knew that you were the one she needed. She has never been more vulnerable than then.

I have never seen two people love each other more than the two of you, except maybe your parents but I mean they are your parents you know.

She has slept in your arms nearly every night for a month, no strings attached, no sex, just you." He argued.

"Sirius, they are right though, I am not worth Lily, I knew that and I let myself fall for her all over again. I don't know what I am going to do this time." He whimpered, not noticing the extra person in the carriage that had crept in silently.

"Sirius, can I have a moment with him?" Lily said softly.

James practically fell out of his seat he turned so fast to see her. He watched silently as Sirius stood gave her a hug and walked out. She sat down beside of him, legs crossed up on the bench seat and pulled him to face her.

"James I never ever meant to make you feel that way. Ever in a million years."

"Lily it's no big deal." He mumbled examining his hands.

She reached over and placed her hands on either side of his face, pulling it up to look at her.

"It is a big deal. You know that last year was not because of you. It was entirely because of my insecurities. I don't think you understand what you are to me James." She said softly.

"I am your friend, you trust me." He replied dryly.

She smiled and placed her forehead against his.

"Yes, you are my friend, you are the one person that I would trust to hold my very soul and keep it safe. James I have never let myself be put into a situation where a guy could hurt me, but you have the ability to shatter everything that I am. Think about that, with everything you know about me, think about what that means alright." She let go of his face and let her lips brush his forehead. He remained silent as she stood and walked out.


	35. Chapter 35: Christmas Shenanigans

**_Holy crap this story has more words than the original Legacy story : /_**

**_And we aren't through yet…And I just thought of more stuff so we aren't through for a while._**

**_This is ALL FLUFF! ALL of it! It's a Fluffsplosion!_**

**_And I think it may be one of my favorite fluffy scenes I have ever written._**

Chapter 35

**Christmas Shenanigans**

"Hey!" Several students shouted as James knocked them to and fro in the train's corridor.

He was trying his hardest to catch up with the amazing red head he had just seen walk slowly past his window. That meant throwing first and second years unceremoniously into the floor, and flinging a few fifth years into walls. He leapt over the steps and ran to where she stood beside her mother, her back to him. In his haste he hadn't even noticed his own mother and father standing there talking to them. He finally reached her and gripped her elbow and spun her around to face him making her squeal as she unexpectedly spun on a dime. He gripped her shoulders and stopped her spin holding her face to face with himself.

"You…Me…Ball…Together…Yes…No…I'll die." He panted, letting her go to clutch a horrible stitch in his side.

Lily was gaping at him, Sirius was standing beside of her, amusement dancing in his eyes. Her mum and his both were smiling softly and his father burst into laughter.

"Lily dear, I think what my son was so eloquently trying to say was that he wants you to come to our annual Christmas Eve Ball with him." He said chuckling.

James stood nodding frantically.

"Yes, yes, that. Say yes. Please, say yes. If you say no to me I am going to die." He added still trying to breathe normally.

"Well I mean I can't let you die now can I?" she said with a grin. He scowled at her Joke.

"Er James I think that was a yes." Sirius muttered from beside him.

His whole face changed, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him.

"Yes? Was that a yes?" he nearly whispered.

She nodded and smiled.

"Oi, Yes Potter I'll come with you." she giggled

'You said yes! Holy crap you said yes!" he yelled picking her up and spinning her in a circle causing her to squeal some more and the others standing in close vicinity to laugh at his excitement.

He very nearly kissed her but realized last second that their parents were standing right there with them so instead he blushed furiously and sat her back on her own two feet.

"Well Lily, you are welcome to come that morning if you like, that is when Remus and Miss McKinnon will be there, and of course you are both welcome over for tea or dinner anytime." His mother said with huge smile.

James rolled his eyes and finally let go of Lily's waist, letting his fingers gently slide off of her, making her shiver and flush.

He let his hands fall to his sides before his mother wrapped him in a hug and squeezed him tightly.

"I guess it is a good thing I got your trunk for you, seeing as you would have left it on there" Sirius joked as they walked to the apparition station.

oOoOoOoO

"She said yes. Sirius she really said yes." He said again, laying on his back on his bed.

"I am very aware, I was nearly knocked over by you spinning her around like a loon. And you have told me about 20 times in the last three days."

"Sorry." James muttered only a bit embarrassed.

"No worries mate. I am glad she finally gave in."

"So, did you ask someone? I figured you would ask Hestia since Allie and Marleen were already coming. And you two are friends and all."

"Well I was going to but actually, and I hope you don't mind…I asked Morgan."

James' mouth dropped and he started laughing.

"Well, it won't be the first time you took the girl off my arm…When did she tell you?" he said with a smile.

"On the train, when she yelled at us for making you feel awful. Wait you knew she liked me? And you didn't say anything?"

"Well you were dating Soryn, and I didn't want to make it anymore difficult, not to mention you practically threw her at me and I didn't want to get her hopes up and her feelings hurt. But if it helps, she didn't tell me until November, after we beat Ravenclaw and you picked her up and hugged her. I saw her face. I asked her about it and she was honest. We haven't been together since about two weeks before I knew."

"I am a bit freaked out that you have slept with my date." Sirius said self- consciously.

"I never slept with her." James said eyes wide.

"Same thing." Sirius argued.

"It isn't I can promise, actually sleeping with someone is entirely different than hooking up with them. And I can erase her memory of it if you want, and you can erase mine, we will know we did it but not remember it." James said with a smirk.

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"I'll deal, this is Morgan after all, I have been waiting 4 years for this. It is just weird."

James laughed.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It was noon at Potter Manor on Christmas Eve. There were dozens of help staff running around in the kitchen, the grand dining hall, the grand hall, the great room and the gardens. They were all preparing for the 75-100 wizards that were going to be attending this evening. Sirius was in his room with Morgan, last James knew they had been messing with his crystal covered quidditch replica pitch. Remus and Marleen had arrived, holding hands no less and were sitting in the library discussing something that James found awfully boring. So he was left to his own devices, practically bouncing off the walls, waiting for 7:00 when Lily would get here for the dinner that was being served at 7:30. He didn't know what he was going to do to keep himself occupied until then.

He wandered into his mum's parlor where she was sitting reading over some work reports.

"Hello my love, what are you doing running about in here?" she asked.

James shrugged and sat down on the floor at her feet, just like he used to do when he was younger.

"Ah Sirius and Remus are with their dates? And you are nervous about Lily." She said as if she had read his mind.

"I'm not nervous." He replied, laying his head in her lap.

She started running her fingers through his frumpled hair.

"I am sure you aren't, she is a very pretty one, isn't she?"

He nodded his head slightly.

"She is perfect." He said softly, a smile playing on his lips as he recalled the minute she said yes.

"Well, tell us about her." A jovial voice said from above him.

James raised his eyes to see his father sit on the armrest of the grey wingback chair, his arm draped over his mother's shoulder.

"Uhm, what do you want to know?"

"Whatever you want to tell us. Why do you like her so much, it is obvious you do." Charles said with a wink.

James settled his head back into his mum's lap and she resumed playing with his hair.

"She is amazing. I can't even describe it. She makes me laugh and she pisses me off. She calls me on my crap and doesn't let me get away with anything." He said with a grin as his parents exchanged knowing looks.

"She is gorgeous, sometimes I will catch her eyes and I can't move, it is like I am trapped there just looking at her. She is smart, really smart and she doesn't even realize it, she studies more than Remus and when she does she pokes her tongue through her lips like this." He demonstrated.

"When she is sad it feels like someone is trying to rip me out of my body, it physically hurts becasue I can't make it better. She got sick, really sick a few weeks ago. Watching her in pain was terrible. I would have taken it and been sick myself if I knew a spell that worked that way. All I could to was hold onto her and tell her that I was there. She found out about Remus right before she got sick. Watching her work through the fear was debilitating, seeing fear and terror on her face...I would stop anyone from putting it there again."

"She knows about our Remus? What did she say?" His mum asked nervously, "How did she react."

"She said that she is friends with Remus not the wolf so it didn't much matter to her about that one day a month because she wasn't planning on hanging out with his alter ego anyways." James said with a laugh.

"What was her initial reaction?" his father said, curious.

"Well, to her credit, she found out because he almost attacked her. So needless to say, the first night after she was petrified. Not of Remus but of the actual wolf, she kept having nightmares about it. I would move the earth to stop her from being scared ever again. I don't know how not to be around her, I just have to be, she is like a drug. When she laughs I feel it. It is the weirdest thing, it is like I want to laugh too just because she is happy, and when she isn't paying attention to what is going on around her she plays with my hair, just like you. Or when she hugs me, she always twirls the hair at the back of my neck. I feel like I am home when she hugs me. It is just like being home." He finished, shrugging his shoulders.

His mum's hand had gone still so he looked up to see why she stopped, only to see tears falling down her cheeks.

"What did I say? Why are you crying?" he said panicked, trying to remember if he had accidentally mentioned shagging her last year or sleeping with her.

"You love her very much." His mother said.

"I—I don't know- we aren't even dating."

Charles looked at his son, every memory of he and Maddie as a young couple playing through his head.

"My son, you do, you know you do. You might can lie to everyone else but I know what it is to be a man in love. I am one every single day."

His mum started crying harder and James blushed a bit.

"I don't think she feels the same way." He muttered.

"I think you may be surprised." Madeline said in response going back to fluffing the uncontrollable mop on her son's head. "Now tell us about this girl that Sirius has in his room. Is she well behaved or should we worry."

James turned scarlet to his toes.

"Why Jamie I haven't seen you blush like that in ages." His father laughed.

"Er, she is fine, I am sure they are fine. Sirius is pretty nervous about being alone with her so I don't think you need to worry about that just yet." He mumbled.

"Our Siri, nervous around girls? Why ever would that be?" Madeline said with a grin.

"Oh well uhm." If it was at all possible James turned redder.

"James why is Sirius nervous about a girl for the first time ever?" Charles asked amusement clear in his tone.

"Well he has liked her for a really long time." James said, trying not to lie.

"And James snogged her first and dated her for two months!" Remus said from the doorway.

Maddie smacked the back of James' head.

"When I told you two to share in second year I didn't mean girls too!" she shrieked. Causing Charles to fall off the chair from laughter.

oOoOoOoOoOo

"It is 7:05 where can she possibly be? She has to be coming, she promised. She said yes, what if she changed her mind. What if she only said yes because so many people were around?"

"James! She's going to be here, dinner isn't until 7:30, calm down." Remus said after listening to the same sentence every 45 seconds.

Marleen, Sirius and Morgan all laughed at his antics, but James was in full out panic mode. He didn't notice the girls of the other politicians and aurors that were eyeing him in his dress robes, he hadn't picked up on the offers to sit with them or the attempts at conversation, it was now 7:20 and his heart was pounding. He had turned away from the door to shake hands with Alastor Moody, one of the top aurors on his father's team.

"I hear you are considering following in your father's footsteps." He said

James shrugged.

"I guess, that is the only practical thing to do sir."

"I hear from reliable sources that you will make a fantastic auror."

"I hear from reliable sources that he would make an incredible professional quidditch player." He heard Lily say from behind him

He felt a small hand on his arm and he turned to smile at her, simply relieved that she was finally there. But when he turned and saw her the air left him in a woosh, it was replaced with tingles from his feet to his head. He knew he couldn't speak so he just stared.

Her hair was half up in twists and then hung down her back in intricate braids and curls, with beads and crystals adorning it. Her off the shoulder satin dress robes flowed elegantly over her curves the color blending from a small bit of light pink into a deep purple and then dark blue, crystals shimmered all over, it was like she had been robed in the sunset. He lifted his hand and brushed the strand of hair off of her bare shoulder still not trusting his voice.

Moody chuckled lightly.

"I am going to let you be with this lovely young distraction here. Have a good night Mr. Potter."

James just nodded, never taking his eyes away from Lily's.

Sirius stepped up with a huge grin and kissed her cheek.

"I believe what your date is attempting to say is you look amazing and thank you for coming and saving our friends from my hyperventilating."

James just nodded. Lily giggled.

"James have you even spoken to the poor girl yet?"

"Hi Mr. Potter." Lily said as he took her hand and hugged her.

"Show her to your places son, the banquet is starting."

James held out his arm to her, and directed her to the table at the very front to the side, he pulled out the chair beside Alice, who was here with Frank. Before she sat down he ran a single finger down her cheek.

"You look…Wow."

She smiled and took her seat.

oOoOoOoOoO

It was nearing midnight and most of the others were still dancing when James pulled Lily away from the dance floor towards the door in the glass wall and out into the fairy lit garden. He pulled out his wand and placed a warming spell on them both as she watched as the snow fell. It was everybit a girl's fantasy. A place where magic becomes reality, where your dreams become life.

"Dance with me." He said softly

"I have been dancing with you all night." She answered with a grin.

"Dance with me all alone. Just us, me and you."

She stepped into his arms and felt herself melt into him. His arms encompassed her completely, holding her firmly against himself, his face buried in her hair. It didn't matter that everyone in the ballroom could see them, that several pairs of eyes had followed them as he pulled her away from everyone, all that mattered was that for them, everyone else seemed to dissapear.

"Thank you Lily, for saying yes. This was…"he stalled, trying to find the right word.

"Wow?" she supplied for him.

He chuckled at her borrowed line.

"Absolutely incredible, it has been perfect. I am actually almost glad you waited for this to be our first date."

"Thank you for asking me." She said shyly.

"You are beautiful Lily Evans." He pulled her closer to him, his lips were resting on her forehead.

"You look pretty fantastic yourself Potter." She replied breathless.

"Say yes." He whispered.

"To what." Her voice cracked

"Can I kiss you?" he murmured, lips now on her temple.

He put one finger under her chin and pulled her face up towards his. Her face was full of expression, he could see her every thought written there, her happiness, and joy, nerves and even fear. She parted her lips to speak but nothing came out, he took it as a yes and pulled her into a star shattering kiss. It wasn't their first kiss but it was the one they would both never forget. It was the one that his parents saw, that confirmed for them that their son was a goner. It was the kiss that made Sirius high five Remus in the middle of a slow dance. It was the first kiss that both of them let their everything flow into. As he kissed her deeper, magic exploded from him causing the snow to swirl around them in a whirlwind of glittery flakes, fairy dust and fairy lights. She pulled away laughing as she watched the display spiral around them, he never let her go, holding her tight.

She looked up and gave him a smile that made his heart skip a beat. Placing her lips on the palm of his hand she spoke softly

"Kiss me forever."

Pulling her up into his arms he swore he would try.


	36. Chapter 36: Changes

**_SO we are going to be swimming in fluff for a while but I would like to remind everyone_**

**_There is a war going on here, even if it has been pretty low key, excluding the beginning._**

**_But either way, back to the fluff and stuff!_**

Chapter 36

**Changes**

Being back to school had changed Lily and James. They were no longer sure of where they stood with one another. Before, they were friends, it didn't matter how much they flirted, how much they cuddled, they were just friends. Now, they were obviously more than that but what were they.

Everyone had gone to their dorms upon arriving at the castle, all of them being worn out from running amok over break. And the boys needing to rest up for the moon tonight, Remus did not come back on the train at all, saying he was sick and flooing home, in actuality he went to the hospital wing to rest before tonight. James and Lily had went to their rooms to put their trunks up and settle back in. He was supposed to be pulling together his quidditch gear when James found Lily's school robes thrown over his desk chair from before they left. He picked it up and carried it to her room, elated that he had found a legitimate reason to come see her. When he walked in she was sitting on her window seat in her favorite comfy short shorts and a sweatshirt with the neck cut out.

She looked up from her book and smiled happily.

"I thought you were getting your practice equipment together?"

"I was, but I found these on my chair and I thought you might could use them." He said, shrugging his shoulders as he placed them on her bed and sat on the edge facing her.

She couldn't take her eyes off of his face. She wanted so badly to walk over put her hands in his hair and just kiss him but she didn't know if he wanted her to, she didn't know how he felt. He wanted to yank her off of the window seat throw her against the window and rip that poor excuse for a sweatshirt off of her, but that was a big step. Granted it was one they had taken before but that was before and this, this was different.

In true James fashion he flung himself backwards on the bed, throwing his arms above his head and closed his eyes.

She stood and walked over to him, sitting a few inches away from the curve of his waist.

"You alright?" she asked

He opened one eye to peek at her and shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know how to act around you now. I, well, I don't want to scare you away. Or move too fast, or make you mad. I just don't quite know where we stand I think. Before I knew that no matter what you were my friend, only my friend. I, well I would like you to be more than just my friend and I don't know what to do about that." He said opening both eyes to see her better.

"You're telling me that the great James Potter that asked me out gazillions of times can't remember how to do it?"

He laughed softly, she placed her hand on his belly and he instantly stopped, looking deep into her eyes.

"I don't want to be that James and Lily though. I don't want you to say no."

She smiled sadly and leaned down to him intending to kiss his forehead but instead he pulled her to his mouth and kissed her firmly. Sitting up as he did so she wasn't in such an awkward position. He pulled her onto his lap, his lips still firmly on hers and moved them to her jawbone so he could breathe.

"I don't want you to go away." He whispered.

She pulled back from the kiss and ran her fingers down his face, taking care to trace his lips while she flung her leg over his waist so she was straddling him and leaned in close to his face.

"I don't want to go anywhere." She said simply.

He gripped her around her waist holding her against him.

"Lily Elise Evans, can I keep you?" he asked softly, completely lost in the liquid green fire of her eyes.

"Yes." She whispered in a trembling voice before he pulled her back to meet his hungry lips.

He kissed her until he felt her gasp for breath, when he let her go he kissed the exposed skin from the cut up shirt. Thinking that he was liking that style more and more as he pushed it lower down her arms, displaying the skin at the top of her breasts and bra, he reached one hand up and traced the lace line with his finger before placing his lips to the skin and nibbling slightly. He smiled when he saw the fair skin turn pink and mottled.

'Lily you are amazingly beautiful." She blushed and tried to hide her face behind her hair, he pushed it to the side and returned his attention to her mouth. He pulled away after a few minutes, knowing if he didn't stop he wouldn't be able to. "So does this mean I get to call you girlfriend?"

"I would prefer you to call me by name but yes James, I would be glad to be your girlfriend." She said, smiling dazzlingly.

He kissed her once more, short and sweet before standing.

"Are you leaving?" she asked sadly.

He met her eyes and he felt his knees go week, how did she do these things to him? They weren't even shagging anymore.

"I was, but now I don't know"

She reached out and pulled his hands to her face, kissing his palms and the tips of his fingers, he dropped onto his knees in between her legs and leaned his head forward against her stomach.

"Do you even understand the effect you have on me?" he muttered.

"If it is anything like the hold you have on me I think I get it."

She released his hands and started twirling strands of his hair around her fingers. Her hands were shaking.

"Why are you shaking?"

"You are leaving tonight." She said softly.

He looked up and for the first time recognized the fear and tears in her eyes for what it was. He stood up from his knees and sat back down beside her before pulling her into his arms and laying down in her bed. He stroked her hair and kissed her eyes, trying to make the tears go away.

"Lily you will be safe in the castle." He said gently.

"I know, but you won't be." Her voice shook.

"We have been doing this for years, the only difference is that now you know about it." He said with a smile.

"Yes, but that is a big difference."

He laughed lightly and kissed her head.

"I will be fine, it will be easier than last time because we will not have any strong willed head girls out there to contend with. It is harder when he gets around people, he is hard to control. It will just be us and we will be fine."

She nodded her head but he knew she didn't agree.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he said in a choked voice.

She instantly looked up at him in surprise.

"You would do that? You would stay here for me?"

He nodded, but she could see the sadness in his eyes.

"I would, I will. Lily I would move the heavens if it meant you not being scared. I just want you to be happy. I will do anything, give up anything." He whispered.

"James, I cannot ask you to choose me over Remus, I won't ask it. You are doing something amazing for your friend. He needs you, I may be nervous but I will be fine. You are going to go, and then come tell me that you are alright."

"I can stay, I will. I won't be upset, neither will Remus, he would understand."

"No, you are going, kiss me and then go. Don't forget to come tell me you are alright."

He smiled and pulled her back to his lips.

"That was some goodbye kiss." She said, her eyes twinkling.

"It wasn't goodbye, it was a warning, a, this is what is coming back for you warning." He said with a wink.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

James drug himself into his room through the entrance from the tower, he was exhausted and so irritated that he had class in 2 hours. He pulled off his sweatshirt and made to throw it on his bed but stopped when he noticed that someone was already there. With a smile he kicked off his shoes and sat down beside her, running his fingers through her hair. The tear tracks on her cheeks were impossible to miss, as was the fact that she was holding his practice jersey that he had left out for practice tonight, he smiled at her wrapped up in his bathrobe. He edged forward and kissed her lips softly, she did not move at all. Stretching he stood and walked down the staircase and into the bathroom for a shower.

The hot water felt great on his bruised muscles. This moon was much easier than the last but there were always some scuffles here or there, after all they were running rampant with a hormonal werewolf. He closed his eyes and let the rivulets of water scald the aches out of his body.

"James?" a small voice came from the main part of the bathroom.

He smiled to himself and stepped back sticking his head and chest out from behind the screen.

"Hey pretty girl." He said, smiling hugely.

He watched as her eyes lit up and she ran to him, grabbing his shoulders and pulling his lips to hers.

"Give me just a second." He chuckled stepping forward to turn off the water and pulling the towel off of the screen that he had hung there. Wrapping it firmly around his waist he stepped out and nearly directly into her arms.

"You were supposed to get me when you got back!" she cried, her head on his chest.

He kissed the top of her hair.

"I did, I even kissed you but you didn't wake, I have only been back for about 30 minutes."

"You should have woken me." She protested.

"I needed a shower, I was all muddy, and I didn't want to wake you if I couldn't be with you."

She nodded her head and stepped out of his arms. She pulled his arms straight and started an inspection of him. He couldn't help but snicker. When she ran her hand down his side and her fingers grazed his back he sucked in his breath and flinched. He watched her eyes narrow and she spun him around by his shoulders to look.

"Oh James. Your entire lower back is nearly purple and you have only been transformed back for an hour or so." She said sadly. "It is going to be much worse in a few hours. Are you alright?"

"Lily I am fine, I will be fine. It is just a bit of bruising all in all the night was smooth, Remus did snap at Pete once, that's where that came from but other than that all went well. Rem might even be in classes today."

"I don't like to see you hurt." She said, her fingers lightly playing along his ribs.

"Hmmm well if you keep that up I am sure I won't be hurting for long."

She kissed his shoulder and he could feel her lips curl into a smile. She reached around him and grabbed the top of the towel where he had knotted it on his hip and used it to turn him to face her.

"And what are you planning?" he asked, nearly choking on his words.

She said nothing but pulled him by the towel out of the bathroom, up his steps and into his room. She stopped in front of his bed and pushed him down onto it. He couldn't breathe normally anymore. Straddling his towel clad lap she sat down and kissed him hard on the lips, he wrapped his arms around her waist, noticing for the first time that she was not in his robe anymore but back in her shirt and shorts, he one hand drop to her thigh and play with the hem of the shorts while the other slipped under her sweatshirt and traced patterns on her lower back.

"I missed you." She said into his ear softly.

"Well if this is how I am going to get welcomed I am going to go away more often."

She giggled as he nibbled her collar bone, she could feel his arousal under her. She shifted her weight so she was sitting more firmly on top of it. He moaned deeply.

"Mmmmm, you do not understand how much I wish we had time for all of the things that I want to do to you right now." He growled.

She wiggled on his lap pressing him to her.

"You have time to do some of them." She teased.

"While that is crazy enticing, I do not have near enough time. We are going to need a day away for all of that. And we need to leave in about 20 minutes if you want to eat before potions." He said, his voice laced with longing.

She stood letting her hand brush his length before stepping back. He dropped his head into his hands and groaned deeply. He reached out and grabbed her shirt, pulled her to him and threw her onto the bed before flipping himself over and straddling her, his towel loosening and barely hanging onto his hips.

"Fuck it, we will skip classes." He said brusquely.

She laughed and pushed him off after kissing him.

"After all of the classes I missed last month I can not miss the first class of the new term." She stood and walked to the door. "Are we meeting at breakfast or going down together?"

"Are you kidding? Go down separate and miss everyone's faces when they see me holding Lily Evan's hand. We are totally going together."


	37. Chapter 37: Game Plans

**_Thank you for the reviews. _**

**_Sorry this took a bit. _**

**_I got into a new story and read it through. _**

**_It was awesome._**

**_Here we go. _**

Chapter 37

Game Plans

"You know you could stop grinning like a mad man before we walk in there." She said with a smile.

"Hark who is talking, happy much?" he joked tickling her, right as someone pushed the door open exposing them to the entire student body and faculty.

If James was curious to see everyone's reactions to their hand holding, he had not been prepared for everyone seeing them like this, his hand was on her ribs and she was giggling and squirming but her fingers remained interlaced with his and her other hand gripping the neck of his robes. At first he hadn't noticed until a few things happened at once, the seventh year Hufflepuff dropped her books in surprise, causing a loud bang, the normal noise of the hall went silent, and Sirius could be heard catcalling into the silence like a lunatic. Lily blushed scarlet while James, a tinge of pink evident on his cheeks and neck bent to help pick up the books, making the other girl blush as his hand brushed hers.

"Sorry 'bout that." He said with an apologetic smile. He stood up still holding Lily's hand, having never let go.

"No, no it was my fault. It's uhm." And she shot a glare at Lily and then walked off.

James looked at Lily, bemused. She shrugged, and they walked to their spots at the Gryffindor table, James between Lily and Sirius and Alice seated beside of her.

"So, is this official now?" Alice said with a smirk.

"Or is this just a really clever prank?" Sirius added.

James smiled and looked at Lily waiting to hear her answer, he could practically hear his heart flying, waiting to hear her words out loud, in public, for the first time ever. She looked over at him, seeing the anticipation on his face, he was practically bouncing in his seat.

"Well?" Remus lead, amusement all over his face.

In answer Lily offered her free hand to him, he met her hand in the middle, confused as she started to shake his.

"Hi, I am Lily Evans, I am sure my boyfriend James has told you a lot about me." She said with a grin.

The entire seventh year section of the Gryffindor table leapt up, yelling, laughing, and cheering as James whipped her around on the bench and kissed her passionately right there in front of at least 1000 people.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Life had calmed down considerably since their first foray into the public of Hogwarts as a couple. Everyone seemed to settle down after going on about it for days. Although Lily did become easily the most reviled girl in the school. She was responsible for taking one of the top three bachelors off of the list and the other two looked certain to fall soon, as Remus was rarely seen without Marleen and Sirius was with Morgan alot.

James was thrilled that much was obvious as he lead his team in their last practice before the Slytherin game the next day. While Lily and James had fallen into a happy comfortable place with each other, the relationship between Gryffindor and Slytherin had reached a fever pitch. So far James had managed to keep his team safe, well, excluding Sirius who managed to put himself directly into duels several times. James however had been hexed and cursed at more times than he could count. The only plus side being that as head boy when he saw them do it he could give them detentions and take house points. Though oftentimes he chose to hex them back rather than use the more acceptable route.

Today however nothing could get to him. He was in his element, he was in the air, on the fastest broom in the world. He was quidditch captain and boyfriend of Lily Evans, again, nothing could get to him. Which was a good thing as the entire Slytherin team was sitting on the front row, effectively crashing his scheduled practice.

"Hey Potty, I'd keep my head on a swivel if I were you." James heard.

He turned his head to look at the lanky dark headed youth that was leaning unimpressively against the railing.

"Don't worry Snape, I know there are a lot of guys out after MY girlfriend, I am watching them all like a hawk, or rather, I am keeping my head on a swivel for them." He called back grinning hugely as he did a backflip and soared off.

Three hours later he could be seen throwing the quaffle at Sirius and yelling. Something that James never did, he did not yell at his team, James did not demean people, but here he was speaking to Sirius like they had never seen anyone speak to him before. And Sirius had his head hung looking like a puppy with his tail between his legs. The Slytherins we thrown over the benches laughing maniacally, the Gryffindor spectators were standing, staring openmouthed at the things James was saying. Remus was physically restraining a furious Lily Evans, Peter was standing stock still just watching in shock. His team was dumbfounded. Morgan was so angry she was shaking but her eyes were darted downward not making eye contact with her captain. Their rookie beater and seeker both had tears in their eyes and were barely seen to be breathing.

"I don't know what in the bloody hell I was even thinking. You are not and were not ready to come back on this pitch. You played like a sack of dung! Did Slytherin addle your brains so that you don't recognize what good flying is anymore? I can't believe we are going to lose tomorrow and it is my fault for taking pity on you! You are worthless. All of you lockers now!" he shouted, throwing his broom and the quaffle to the ground as his team stalked off.

Glancing around him he saw the Slytherins leaving in utter joy, all thoughts of losing now gone, he nervously watched Remus trying to keep Lily off of the pitch. He decided he needed to get out of her line of sight quickly before getting hexed. He walked briskly and came into the room just after everyone else had sat down. He looked around at the muddy, frozen faces of his team and one by one their forlorn expressions split into huge smiles.

"Worthless huh?" Sirius said good natured as James walked up and patted him on the back.

"I have to give it to you Pads, it was bloody brilliant to throw them off like that. I didn't know you could play so bad." He chuckled, the whole team laughed.

"Yeah, neither did I. I had to keep reminding myself that it was good for the long run of things. We are going to the cup. And we are going to win it." Sirius said brightly before picking Morgan up and spinning her in a circle.

"It wasn't real? It was…a trap?" came a startled voice from the entrance.

James looked around and saw an ashen faced Lily and an apologetic Remus. Pete looked like he was just starting to understand.

"Lils, I'm sorry. I know that was cold, but we have got to throw them off our game somehow." James said earnestly.

"Yeah and if the hexing and cursing didn't calm down James was going to end up dead before the match." Sirius said honestly.

"I am so glad, I thought I was going to have to break up with you for being the world's greatest prat." She said with a squeal as she ran into his arms.

He hugged her and flung her up onto his back, giving her a piggyback ride back to the castle in the midst of his team who upon leaving the lockers let their faces fall and looked distressed all over again.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

The smile that lit James' face as the score bell rang again as his shot sailed through the right hoop was infectious. The Slytherin team looked furious as the score was now 120-30 and Gryffindor was only pulling the game farther and farther out of reach. Not only were his chasers scoring like a single Sirius Black but Sirius himself had put three of the Slytherins out of the game with bludger hits. Completely fair and legal insanely hard hits.

They seemed unstoppable today, this year was theirs, no one was stopping him from holding the cup in his 7th year, not when he was captain. He watched as Bletchly the Slytherin keeper heaved the back to Macnair and they put it into play, at the same time his little, rookie, hairbrained, go for broke seeker went pelting towards the ground. James watched as he chased the fleck of Gold that was just out of his reach, the sound from the crowd was incredible. The snitch was giving good chase when James caught sight of Morgan in hot pursuit of another 10 points. She was speeding along underneath him when Goyle blasted a bludger directly at her face, knowing she couldn't have stopped in time James jumped off of his broom and landed facing her on her broom, just in time for the bludger to catch the middle of his back. He had a second to see the surprised look on her face before the pain set in and he toppled off.

oOoOoOoOoO

"He is insane. He shouldn't be allowed to play anymore! What a stupid thing to do, jump in the way of a bludger. Honestly." He heard a frantic voice say.

"Look, this is James, he saw that Morgs was going to get hurt and he wouldn't allow that, he intervened to save her. You really can't be surprised. This is James Potter he has a superhero complex." He would recognize Sirius' bark like laughter anywhere.

He opened his eyes and the bright lights of the hospital wing were the first things he saw.

"He can't save everyone." Lily hissed.

"I've told him that, you try telling him that." Remus muttered.

"That was a bloody brilliant play though, that was a great game." Sirius said.

"Did we win?"

Lily shrieked, Sirius grinned like a madman and Remus shook his head.

"Leave it to you to get a fractured vertebrae and only care about the score." Remus said with a smile.

Sirius broke in right away though.

"It was amazing, you stopped the bludger and started to fall, I raced after you and caught you, thank Merlin, and as I did Morgan shook herself out of shock long enough to score on her run and then Devon, no shit, the snitch looped under him and instead of turning and going back after it he let go of the broom with one hand held on hung from the handle and caught the bloody thing in his open hand. The kid is crazy. But it was amazing. I almost dropped you I was screaming so hard. Oh and Michael kept both Goyle and Macnair off of everyone while I got you. Which your move was brilliant. We have to find a way to use that." Sirius rambled.

'We won? We only have to beat Hufflepuff and then we are in the final? " James said in shock.

"We won. And are going to be so far ahead of points on Slytherin that we could almost let them win and we would still win the cup!" Sirius said overjoyed.

James sat up and twisted around a bit stretching his back. Wincing only a bit at the soreness. The nursemaid came rushing out to look at him. He noticed Lily blushing as Madam Pomphrey pulled the sheet off of him, exposing his bare chest. He laughed when she touched his spine and Lily clenched her jaw.

"Really I am fine, can I go? Please?"

"No flying." She said seriously.

"No flying, I don't have another practice for a week."

"No getting stunned, hexed or transfigured as that could reset the bones, for at least a month."

"Alright, no getting into fights, though you might have to tell McGonagall about the transfigurations, we are studying human transfigurations this year."

"Wait…No transfiguration…At all? For a whole month?" Peter squeaked.

The nurse nodded.

"That's right, well at least nothing that changes his spine location or shape, so don't turn him into a toad or something to get even…At least for a month. Go on Potter, have a good party and that really was a very nice thing you did for your partner, her face would have been crushed by that blow. Impressive play."

She walked away and none of the marauders had anything to say. James couldn't transform. What were they going to do?


	38. Chapter 38: Turning the Unturnable

**_Be ready another one is coming soon._**

Chapter 38

**Turning the Unturnable**

"What are we supposed to do? " James moaned throwing himself face first onto his bed in the boys dorm of Gryffindor tower.

Pete walked through and sat on the window ledge overlooking the grounds, Sirius was obviously agitated and was throwing random things out of his trunk and back into it. Remus seemed to be the only calm one of the bunch, he sat down beside of James and smiled feebly.

"We are going to do what we used to do. You lot are going to stay here and I am going to go to the shack, I will see you afterwards."

"Like hell, I am still going!" Sirius argued.

Remus shook his head and sighed.

"Pads you aren't strong enough on your own to keep me in line and you know it, I could literally kill you. That won't work you are staying here."

"I will just change, that's all there is to it. I will be fine." James said sitting up and stretching.

"No you won't. Poms said one month. It has been little over two weeks, even McGonagall flipped when you tried to do a human transfiguration today. Your spine may be healed by magic but it is still weak and if it broke again it could kill you, and you know it. Do you think I would even want to live knowing that you died, my best friend died because of me?"

"I..I…I can't leave you alone. Where would you go? You can't go to the shack and you know it. So stop pretending like that is even a possibility. We broke the wards on it, you can get out easily. Without us there it would be a disaster. Where would you go?" Sirius said miserably.

James sat up suddenly.

"My house, Potter manor, that's where you are going. Mum and dad are out in the field right now, it is empty, you can use the safe room dad has in the study in case of death eaters. That's where you can go, it is four rooms, you won't be chained or in a shed alone. C'mon we just have to tell McGonagall…something…."

"You have a safe room in your house?" Peter said his head tilted in wonder.

"Yeah, with dad being a auror and all we had to have somewhere if someone retaliated against him by attacking my mum and I. It is impenetrable and you have to be able to speak the password to get out. The only way in is with my father's wand, my mum's wand or my own, well and Sirius' now I guess. It only reacts to the wands that reside within the house. Plus no one knows where in the house it is. I honestly think I even forgot to show Siri."

Sirius nodded looking amazed at what was coming out of James' mouth.

"How are we going to convince Dumbledore that I am going there? You know Poms is going to have to pick me up."

"Well, just tell him that you are going to see your dad, floo home and then floo to James' " Peter said softly.

All three boys looked at Pete in shock.

0oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Alright Mr. Lupin as it is a Friday you have until Sunday to be back. You are certain you want to go home for this transformation? I would think you would be more comfortable here with all of the warding and room."

"Yes ma'am I would be, however my Pa wrote and said he was home and his new fiancée was going to be there. They won't be home again for a year due to his work and I would really like to meet her before she becomes my step mother."

"And you aren't going to be able to be present for their wedding? I can't believe your father wouldn't want you at his wedding." McGonagall said softly, a look of pity on her face.

"No ma'am, the wedding is right in the middle of NEWTS and it just won't work. It is alright really, I am not too fond of the idea of him remarrying anyways so I just want to meet the woman and that is it." He said trying to look innocent.

It apparently worked because in 5 minutes he was standing in the fireplace in his sitting room covered in soot."

He smiled benignly as his father looked up from his morning paper stunned.

"Remus, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, well, I just needed to come home for a minute, we are starting NEWT revision and I left some of my notes from previous years in my room here like a dunderhead. McGonagall gave me special permission because I didn't think you would be home." He said shuffling from foot to foot.

"You all are starting awfully early, it's only the first week of February." John Lupin said.

"Yes, well you know me. And James' new girlfriend Lily is big on starting early too. I didn't mean to catch you off guard, I didn't think you would be home."

"It is fine. I never said you couldn't come home son, you made that choice."

"Of course I made that choice, you lied to me and you care more about your girlfriend than you do me."

"That is a lie." His father said, anger written all over his face.

"It is not." The unusually rigid teen spat back. "If it was not true than you wouldn't hide me from her, you wouldn't pretend that I am not here. I understand that you are ashamed and that you feel guilt for what has happened to me but you care more for yourself than you do me. And that is alright because I have friends that are a much better family than you and my maman ever turned out to be. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get my books and I have to go, as tonight is the full moon and I am also picking up something from James' mum."

He strode out of the room and reappeared quickly. He turned and grimace at his father before disappearing into the green flames with a shout of "Potter Manor".

He threw his russack on the floor and pulled out James' wand, putting his own back into the bag and stashing it on James' bed before heading out into the manor following James' written instructions.

He was amazed with the security features. It was brilliant, you could use any of the occupants of the house's wand to get in but the magic recognized if the user was given permission to use the wand. They had to be a rightful user or the door would not release. He walked through the halls and into the library where he stepped to the doorway that was pretending to be a bookshelf.

"Merlin you got here fast."

Remus turned stunned to see Sirius and Pete gasping for air in the doorway.

"What are you doing here?" he said, stunned.

"We aren't leaving you all alone! Prongsie had to stay behind…apparently apparating and floo are similar to transfiguring as they alter your body makeup for a bit. He wasn't too happy when we left." Sirius replied, walking forward and running his fingers over the books.

"Blimey you can't even tell it is there! I have been in here hundreds of times and had no clue, not a one."

Pete was also looking around in awe.

"So you'll come in here but the library at school is evil?" Pete said staring up at the golden mural of a huge tree, it shimmered as if in the sun, though there were no windows here. "What is this, look it looks as if it is blowing, like it is alive." He said in reverence.

Sirius smiled and touched the base of the tree,.

"It is alive Petey. All the pureblood families have something of this nature, but none are as beautiful as this. This is the Potter family tree."

"There are no names." Pete replied as he looked closely at one of hundreds of leaves.

"No there aren't, this tree shows signs of life as long as there is a living heir, if the final heir was to die, the tree would fade and appear to die, as long as the family has a future, so does this tree." Sirius said turning and smiling at his two friends.

"How do you know that?" Remus asked, he mouth popped open.

"Because we have something akin to it at Grimmuld place and because I live here." Sirius shrugged.

He watched Remus' eyes narrow.

"Speaking of here. What are you doing here and how did you get here?"

"You really didn't think we were going to let you do this alone did you? Honestly, you are a twat sometimes. And we took the floo from the Hog's Head, you know Alby doesn't care and he wouldn't tell Dumbledore on us to save his own life. We will be fine. James was fired up that he can't be here at all. I do not envy Lily today. Jamie is going to drive her crazy."

"You can't be in that room with me, I go nuts when I am cooped up." Remus said nervously.

Pete gripped his shoulder and Sirius smiled sadly.

"We aren't going in with you. But we will sit out here and wait for you and we will be here when you wake up to help you floo into the hospital wing tomorrow. It will be better because we are here. Now, we have all day lets go eat and pull Jamie's old brooms out and fly for a bit.

The three spent the day joking around and trying to keep Remmy's spirits lifted as the dusk got closer. There were only minutes to spare when Sirius opened the door and took James' wand from Remus' hand.

"You will be fine, I promise, and we will be here when you wake up." Sirius said.

"You have this in the bag." Pete added

Remus looked doubtful but stopped and turned before closing the door.

"If you were coming why didn't you tell me? And why did you give me James' wand?"

"Well we couldn't be sure that we were going to get to come, you know anything could have happened to stop us. We didn't want you to get here and not have a way in. James is fine, he has Lily with him, she is assisting in our coverup, I think we have turned the unturnable." Sirius said with a smile.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

**Meanwhile back in the castle**

"This is such shit!" James said angrily.

Lily tried to play with his hair and calm him down but it wasn't working.

"James it is fine. They will all be alright. You and I have pranks to play. Come on, you know you have been waiting for this day forever." She said with an evil grin.

He couldn't resist smiling back. He had been wanting to get Lily to prank with him forever. He stood up and held out his hand.

"Well let's get to it Miss Marauder in training. We have a distraction to make." He said with a grin.

Today's plan was simple. Pull off as many pranks as possible without getting caught and without James being seen all day. As long as the school thought they were pulling another prank war the professors wouldn't question where Peter and Sirius had gone to. Lily's job was to follow James' instructions as he had no wand, and pretend to be trying to catch the boys at it thus keeping her from classes. James threw on the invisibility cloak and grabbed her hand, letting her know where he was. And then strode out of the room together, intent on causing mayhem.

oOoOoOoOoO

"My word Mrs. Evans what is going on here?" Professor McGonagall said as she skidded to a halt sliding on a very wet floor.

"Oh, are you alright? Course you're not…Well it is was raining in the hallway. I got the rain to stop. But now it is a bit flooded, and I sent the first year that got buzzed by the lightning to the hospital wing. I won't be able to make it to class while I am getting this cleared up."

"Right, this prank stinks of three rambunctious seventh years, oh when I find them." She muttered as she slipped all over the hall.

oOoOoOoOoO

"Oi, hullo Lily dear, I take it you are trying to clean this mess up?"

Lily grimaced and sighed as she looked around the walls of the dungeons, all dripping with green and black slime.

"Yes Professor Slughorn, I vow that when I find those bloody marauders I am going to curse their wand arms off."

"Now now Lily. Watch that mouth, and if I find any spare limbs laying about I shan't turn you in. 15 points to Gryffindor for your help." He said with a chuckle.

OoOoOoOoOO

"Stop! Wait! No!" Lily winced as Professor Kettleburn fell prey to the thousands of gobstones rolling across the entrance hall. Not only did she step on them and slide across the floor, once the marbles began to hit each other they squirted a foul smelling black goo all over the old professor."

"One of these days, I am going to retire." He said before standing and turning and going right back out of the building.

"Does everything we do have to be so messy?" Lilly hissed as she walked out of the hall shaking her head listening to James chuckle.

"You know you are all going to get a ton of detentions for this?"

"We are already anticipating it." She heard the empty space to her left mutter.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

The rest of the day was spent with Lily (seemingly alone) running about like crazy and professors searching high and low for the culprits, they were nowhere to be found. From Slytherins with green speckled skin, to Ravenclaws that temporarily sprouted black feathers and some even sprouted wings. Hufflepuffs found their common room filled to the top with long stick glitter, as such they were all walking around the school glittering. The dishes in the great hall sang with every bite, the goblets spit drinks back into the drinker's face and Lily was exhausted.

She was sitting at her house table, her head on her folded arms trying not to fall asleep. Everyone at the heads table looked similarly worn out. It wasn't until she heard Marleen's giggle and Alice's voice that she looked up.

"Uhm Lily, what happened to you?" Alice squeaked.

"I have spent the day cleaning up after the missing Marauders." She replied.

"Oh, weren't you able to despell your hair?"

"WHAT!" she yelped and stood to look at her reflection in the darkened windows of the great hall.

Her mouth dropped to her chest as she felt a movement from the "empty" spot to her right when she looked at her hair. Her horribly frizzy, horribly messy, horribly PURPLE hair.

"JAMES POTTER I AM GOING TO BLOODY KILL YOU!"


	39. Chapter 39: Holy Shit She's My Valentine

**_RATING WARNING HIGH T at the very least._**

**_FYI this is my favorite Chapter Title EVER!_**

Chapter 39

**Holy Shit She's My Valentine**

James woke up on February the 14th excited. He didn't have detention today! He couldn't have been more thrilled. He sat up and looked around , realizing with a pang that Lily was not in bed beside him. She was still punishing him for putting muggle hair dye in her shampoo bottle. It had been the perfect prank, after spending all day getting her filthy and sticky, she would of course take a shower before dinner. He had of course been right. How was he supposed to know it wouldn't wash right out. He was still thanking his lucky stars that Remus had been able to charm her hair back to its original color even if it had taken two days.

He climbed out of bed and ran to the shower. He had things to set up before she woke. Mad or not, she would not refuse him this year, she couldn't, she was his girlfriend, you can't say no to your boyfriend on Valentine's day. He bounced around getting all of the necessities together for his plans.

**Lily POV**

When she opened her eyes her first feeling was a sinking one, she wasn't with James. She was pretty sure that this was punishing her as much, if not more than him. Without him beside her she had started having nightmares again. They were intense, sometimes featuring a bloodied and dying James or Sirius, sometimes a snarling wolf and most recently the encounter with the death eaters from two years ago. She hadn't really thought much about that horrifying moment in her life until this last week. James' parents had gone back out into the field along with Alice's. This had been prompted by the receipt of a letter that had been sent to James, Sirius and Alice each, again detailing positions of power to purebloods and offering safety and security in exchange.

The problem was that as this was right now only considered a political movement, the ministry was not recongnising it as a full terrorism even with the repeated attacks on James and his family, there was nothing they could do about the threatening mail as it was not overtly a threat. With all this going on it had hit Lily that James was in danger. In all reality everyone was in danger but he was in immediate danger, enough so that his parents had left to stop it, if an auror was worried surely a girlfriend had a right to be worried. As such she had began having nightmares. And without James beside her to keep them at bay she was having a difficult time overcomming them.

She sat up and threw her blanket off, as if on cue hearts that seemed to be cut from rose and lily petals began to drift down from the ceiling. They landed in aromatic piles on her bed and floor and the air around her was filled with the soft music of Kalanie Cornat, singing the song they had danced to at Christmas, Bewitched By You. She smiled brightly and ran to her door, though James was not there at all. What was there was a fluffy purple bath robe and a basket of spa type bath supplies, tied with a glittery pink heart balloon. Laughing at his hint she picked it up and headed to the bathroom, where to her surprise the music from her room was piping through the walls, the huge tub was filled with sweet smelling water upon which floated flower petals and lit candles. She slipped out of her pajama shorts and into the steaming water, feeling the tension seep out of her.

She floated in the water for some time listening to the music, to her immense surprise not only were her favorite wwn songs playing but there were several of her favorite muggle songs playing as well. She finally got out of her bath and headed back to her room, when she opened her door all she could do for a moment was laugh as she clutched the robe to her body. Everywhere in her room was covered with her favorite chocolate, which happened to be a muggle candy, Hershey's kisses.

She walked through the scattered candy that was thrown on top of the piles of flower petal hearts. On her bed lay a pink and white box with a huge bow and a huge bouquet of purple roses laying amidst more candy. She lifted the lid to the box and pulled out a soft light green cashmere sweater and a pair of soft brushed jeans. She lifted the jumper and held it to her turning to look in the mirror, she stopped when she saw the message written there in her lipstick.

_Lily Elise Evans_

_Now that I have kissed the very ground that you walk on_

_Will you be my Valentine?_

_Put the outfit on. _

_Meet me downstairs in 30 minutes._

_~James_

oOoOoOoOoOoOoO

**James POV**

When she opened that door and he saw her in the tight fitting jeans and the clingy shirt his heart jumped into his throat. Her smile practically knocked him off of his feet, her eyes sparkled like a perfectly cut gemstone, her burnt scarlet hair tumbled in waves down her back contrasting beautifully with the green shirt. He had to remember to thank Alice for picking the sweater out. Her hips mesmerized him as they swayed their way down her spiral staircase to him.

"You are amazing." He said in a choked voice as she met him at the base of the stairs.

"Thank you so much James." She replied, kissing him softly on the lips.

"So is that a yes then? Will you finally be my valentine?"

"How could I resist? Of course I will be your Valentine, I am honored to be." She said, grinning shyly.

"Great, we are going to breakfast and then we have a date…An all day date."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Lily was taken aback when James stepped in front of the familiar blank wall. He turned and smiled at her.

"Alright, I really wanted to do this with you today, and this was the only way I could think of. SO I really need you to just clear your mind and think, my valentine's surprise, alright?"

She nodded trying not to show her nerves at being back here. This room held a lot of memories for them. When the doorway appeared he took her hand and pulled her through, but the sight that met her eyes sucked the very breath from her lungs.

She appeared to have walked outside. Out onto a rolling snow covered landscape, snow drifted softly from the sky and lay in blankets on the ground. Off to the side at the shore of a severely frozen pond was a small log cabin, smoke furling from the flume above. She bent down and picked up the snow, surprised to see that it was not cold, only a bit chilly.

"What is this? She asked in awe.

"Well, I wanted to spend a day away from everything with just you. I love the snow but hate the cold. This is an exact replica of my family's property in Switzerland, only the room temperature controlled it for me. We obviously can't go there, but we can be here. So this is my gift to you, it is Saturday morning, I have special permission to assign this weekend's duties to the prefects, we are off duty and not able to be interrupted. None of our friends expect us back until tomorrow night. Happy Valentine's Day Lily."

That afternoon went by perfectly, Lily had never laughed more in her life as they fought in an epic snow ball fight, which ended in the two of them kissing on top of a snow fort James had erected. They had a picnic by the pond, served by a house elf that James explained had come from his house to help him out.

He delighted in her squeals as they used a sled to slide down the hills and then as Lily showed him how to use an innertube to spin wildly upon the ice slicked mounds. The sun appeared to be falling in their makeshift skyline and James was helping her to lace up ice skates. Her cheeks were pink with excitement and still a bit flushed from their most recent shared kiss. He took her hand and spun her out onto the ice.

Her face betrayed her, showing surprise at how well James skated.

"Are you shocked Miss Evans?"

She nodded.

"I didn't know that wizards skated." She said bashfully.

He held her hands and skated in a large circle.

"Aye, some do. I grew up in Godric's Hollow, it is a half muggle villiage, I had muggle friends, there were no wizards my age living there as I grew up. This is what they do in the winter. I adapted, though my mum did limit my interactions with muggle kids as I have a tendency to say more about the wizarding world than is wise."

He pulled her close into his arms, stopping near the middle of the pond.

"I have a present for you." He whispered softly before kissing her cheek.

"I thought the whole retreat was my present, well and the clothes and flowers this morning." She said, confused.

He shook his head and smiled happily.

"Nope, they were merely part of the plan. This is your gift. I have waited a long time to give this to you."

He waived his wand and held out his hand. In it appeared a flat square box, a bit bigger than his hand. He handed it to her, it was beautifully wrapped in gold paper and bow.

"Jamie, you didn't need to get me a gift." She muttered.

He used his fingers to lift her face to his.

"No, I didn't, but I did because I wanted to. So please accept it."

She nodded and started to pull the paper off. Once the lid was off she stared in shock at the perfect gold necklace and charm bracelet that lay snuggled in the blue velvet. James lifted the Necklace first. It was a thin sparkling chain and on it hung a single charm, a diamond encrusted lily.

"I bought this last year. I never gave it to you. I chickened out five different times, Christmas twice your birthday twice and Valentines last year. I want to give it to you now though."

"It is beautiful." She stuttered, touching the delicate charm.

He smiled and helped her put it on, kissing the lily as it lay in the hollow of her throat, making her shiver. He pulled back and then lifted the sparkling charm bracelet. It was only hung with three charms. James pointed each out, first the Golden heart that was inlaid with emeralds.

"This is for your eyes. When I look in them every single piece of my heart shatters and falls into your hands."

He pointed at the tiny little stag that appeared to have been carved from amber.

"This is because no matter my form, I belong to you. And because you are the only person that knows this side of me other than my brothers."

Lastly he pointed to an onyx dog that hung lightly from the chain. He smiled and said with a chuckle.

"And this is from Snuffles."

She couldn't speak properly so instead she pulled him into her arms putting every bit of emotion she had into it. He lifted her and skated them both over to the cabin. He sat her down and gingerly removed her skates and then his own before leading her inside.

The only word to describe the cabin was warm, the fire, the atmosphere, the piles of pillows and down blankets that were draping the furniture. She smiled as he lifted a cup of cocoa and handed it to her, after stealing one of her marshmallows with his tongue.

"Let's go change, into comfy clothes." He said before kissing her nose and pointing her to a door on the left.

She followed it through into a beautifully proportioned room, laid out with dark cherry furniture and pale purple linens, there was a huge fireplace already lit. She sat on the bed and thought, I didn't bring a change of clothes, and then, reading her needs as only this place would do, a dressing table popped into existence along the back wall. She stood and walked to it, before opening the drawer she thought, I need something to make him speechless.

When she told him to come in after he knocked on the door she realized that the room had achieved her wish. She stood infront of him wearing small shimmery gold shorts and a matching lacy camisole. He mouthed words though nothing came out. She giggled a bit as he stepped slowly to her and ran a finger over the skimpy silk outfit.

"I didn't bring anything, this is what was in the drawer. Will it do?" she asked in a teasing voice.

He nodded dumbly.

"Yes, yes it is, umh, yes."

She giggled.

"Are you sure I can change if you like?"

"No, no, don't. You are, so so beautiful. I feel extremely underdressed now though." He said gesturing at his light blue cotton pajama pants, and shirtless attire.

"I can't think of anything I like you in better." She said with a smile.

He just nodded, and pulled her to him burying her lips in his. He backed up and sat on the bed her standing over his knees. He wanted to give her the control of the situation so he scooted back letting her straddle him as she sat on her knees over him, though he was intense in leveling her with kisses and touches. She shivered as he ran his fingers under her top, over the sensitive skin on the small of her back. Whimpers escaped her lips as his other hand danced up the outside of her thigh, brushing just under the seam of her shorts.

He could feel the heat from her center hovering over him when he nibbled his way to her jaw and began to kiss her collar bone. He used his nails lightly and scraped them up the backs of her legs, sliding her under the shorts and his grip just on her panty line.

He moaned when her quivering knees gave way and she sat fully onto him, rubbing him against her very small, very silky shorts. His moan made her shiver. He spread his fingers across the bottom of her back and the top of her bum pushing her onto him harder. She opened her eyes and whimpered against his lips. His hand moved down her spine to her hip and pressed her against him, pushing the side of her shorts up with every push. Once he felt his hand covering only her panties, completely inside of her shorts and she rocked her hips against him on her own he hissed in pleasure before gripping her hips and flipping her so she was on her back and he was kneeling between her knees.

"Lils, is this what you want?" he asked softly genuinely. "Do you want this? I will give you whatever you want."

She had a look of mingled lust and nervousness on her face. And he understood. Having sex with your girlfriend was very different than shagging a friend for fun. This would be them committing to each other, he knew it and she knew it. This was worlds apart from what they had done last year. He waited for her response.

"I want you." She choked, desire running rampant through her.

"Lily, you already have every piece of me you can have. What do you want right now, tonight?"

"I, I don't know , I want you, all of you, you make me feel incredible, and I want to be yours, not just a friend like before I want to be yours. In ways I wasn't before." She barely whispered.

His smile in that moment was infectious and it was so much more than happiness it was also laced with need and want, he nodded his head firmly and lowered himself to his elbows. He could see the want in her eyes but he could also see the small bit of reserve and fear there too.

"Oh my sweet you will feel incredible either way." He groaned as he allowed himself to grind against her, still fully sheathed in cotton. After working up the nerve he ran his hands over her chest and pulled the silken string top along with the shear lacy bra underneath her breasts and took her nipple into his mouth. She cried out when he took his hips away and replaced them with his hand rubbing her through the barrier of her lacy panties, kissing her the entire time. He allowed his fingers to slip beneeth the lace into the wet folds hidden underneeth. He pushed them into her making her writhe and thrust against his palm. He stilled his hand when she cried out and was panting against him. He smiled against her cheek.

"Lily, I want a relationship with you, a real one, a serious one, preferrably a forever one. I have no problem waiting to make you mine all over again. But, when I do, that is it, no turning back, I won't lose you again, it would be so much harder this time, I have so much more invested in you right now than I ever did in seven years of chasing you, of loving you. When we take that step, just know that there is no other way. No outs, no nerves, no fear. You'll be mine forever." He said huskily.

Her face was flushed and she was trembling, she had not been touched by anyone since her last night with James. Her body was reeling with what it was missing and what he had yet to give back.

"You mean you will be mine forever." She said with a nervous smile.

He shook his head and kissed her nose.

"Either way Lily Evans I am already yours forever."


	40. Chapter 40: When Darkness Falls

**_Some things I just think have to happen, _**

**_It is very different, but similar…_**

**_Sorry bout this._**

**_This is pretty intense, A T at least._**

Chapter 40

**When Darness Falls**

March had come in with a vengeance. It had rained for a week now and it was only the 5th. James was leaning against his window wall staring out into the black night. Lily was on duty with the Ravenclaw prefects tonight, he had an upcoming match against Hufflepuff. He really needed to concentrate as it was Gryffindor's final match before the cup. They were guaranteed a spot being the one of the only teams with two wins, however if they won the Hufflepuff match there would be no cup game at all as they would be the only team with three wins, thus making them the cup holders. Unfortunately, he couldn't concentrate. He had received a letter from his mum at breakfast.

His father had been severely injured on a mission, he was at home and recovering but he was still not well off. Tomorrow he and Sirius were going home for the weekend to see him. To James that sounded bad, really bad. Hogwarts didn't let you run home for nothing. Something bad had happened, and he was worried for his father's life. He stretched out before walking to his bed and throwing himself face first onto his bed. He stayed that way for a long time, not asleep but not really awake. He only lifted his head when he heard the door open because it was not the door in the heads office that opened but the door that lead to the boys tower in Gryffindor house.

"You awake?" Sirius' voice said from the darkened opening.

"Kinda." He said in a rough voice, that let Sirius know he had been crying.

He heard the door seal shut and felt the bed shift as his best mate and brother fell onto the bed beside him, not much differently that James had done himself a few hours ago.

"Where's Lilykins tonight?" Sirius asked in a muffled voice, suggesting his face was pressed into a pillow.

"On rounds, it's her night. She is taking the weekend too, Rem is going to stand in for me."

"Are we leaving after classes or after dinner?"

"Classes, I figure mum will cook for us."

It was quiet for a while before James broke the silence in a quavering whisper.

"Does it make me a bad son that part of me doesn't want to go?"

Sirius leaned up onto his elbow so he could look at his friend.

"No, it makes you scared, and that makes you a son that loves his father."

James rolled so he was looking up at the ceiling and at Sirius. The unshed tears were glistening behind his dark lashes.

"Gryffindor's aren't supposed to be scared… remember bold, daring, brave. Scared isn't in there anywhere."

"Mate, scared isn't listed in any house's qualities but I am certain that everyone gets scared sometime. You are human, you are going to get scared sometimes. Wait until Lily thinks she is pregnant for the first time…Scared doesn't even begin to cover it."

James couldn't help it, he burst into laughter.

"And you would know that how?"

Even in the dark you could see the blush creep up Sirius' cheeks.

"I may have forgotten to use a contraceptive charm a month or so ago. She's not…But scared the bloody hell out of me."

"You didn't tell her that right"

"Well no, I'm not a complete twat you know."

James chuckled lightly and rolled back to his stomach.

Neither of them heard the door reopen. Neither of them knew that Remus had crept in, walking silently as only he could. He leaned against James' window and slid down, watching his two friends sleep, tossing and turning. He knew them better than they knew themselves. They were both torn up, they were both terrified and both for different reasons.

James had never lost anyone or anything. He was his parents' whole world, their everything, as they were his. He would not handle losing either of them well, and he was still so young to see a parent die. Remus knew what it was to lose a parent but to see one die was a different story all together. Mr. Potter was not young anymore and from the sound of things, he was gravely injured.

Sirius was another story. He had never felt loved or accepted by any parental figure, until James' parents. He was scared to lose the only happiness he had known. Any piece of it. Sirius had been through torment and things that Remus could not imagine. He would not recover will from a loss like this.

But through it all he knew that his two friends would lean on each other and he would hold them both up when they needed it. His thoughts were confirmed as Sirius threw his arm over James; shoulders and instead of throwing it off James settled in his sleep and they both actually fell into what looked like a peaceful sleep for the first time that night. He watched them for a while, not noticing as he himself drifted off against the window.

Hours later Lily murmured the familiar password to James' room, knowing this would be his last night with her for three nights. When she walked in and saw both boys asleep side by side on the bed, and Remus sleeping in front of the window with his head lolling on the glass, she smiled. In that instant she realized one thing, her whole world was in this room.

OoOoOoO

James watched Sirius disappear into the flames of Dumbledore's office before turning to pull Lily into a brief hug and kissing her lightly. He smiled at her blush, apparently kissing her in front of their head of house and headmaster was a bit much for her. He smiled quickly and waved at Remus and Pete as Lily spoke softly into his ear.

"Have a good weekend, give your mum and dad hugs for me." She looked into his guarded, obviously scared eyes. "It is going to be fine, James. Your dad is mending and you will be back here in three days." She kissed his cheek as he sighed and stepped into the fire.

oOoOoOoOoO

He stepped out into the room and knew instantly that something was wrong. Everything was black, you couldn't even see the sun shining in from outside, he walked into Sirius who was standing upright and in a defensive position. James used his shoulders to steady himself.

"Siri?" he questioned.

"They are here Jamie, we have to get out."

"And I wish you luck, every fireplace in this house has been sealed." They heard a vacuum sound as the fireplace behind them sealed shut. "Now let's have some fun."

"Siri Moony's place. Run!" James shouted certain that Sirius would understand his code.

He saw Sirius' head nod in acceptance before he took off at breakneck speed through the room, trying to make his way to the hall by memory. James saw a light wiz by his head and he dropped to the ground, and rolled to avoid the curse. He hopped up and ran towards where he knew the archway to the hall was. They had flooed onto the second floor into the family den so he only had to get to the library. Only one hall away, he just had to make it to the end of this hall and around the corner. His mind briefly flashed to Sirius, he couldn't hear him at all. He was likely trying to keep quiet to stay undetected. He then thought of his mother and his hurt father. If they had been attacked was his father up to defending himself?

James tried to push down the nausea that he was feeling, knowing that it wouldn't help anyone if he got sick right now. As he made it out of the room the darkness still permeated the air he tried to turn towards the library and ran into someone much bigger than him. He felt the arms start to wrap around his shoulders and could smell putrid sour breath on his cheek. Flailing out with his arms he ran backwards and felt the world disappear from beneath him for a moment until he reconnected harshly with the hard marble that could only be the front staircase. He felt his head hit at least four steps before he passed out.

oOoOoOoO

He didn't know how long he had been asleep but he was dizzy and his head felt like it was going to explode. He opened his eyes slowly. It seemed to take everything a while to come into focus.

"Mum?" he mumbled.

"Jamie, it's going to be alright son, don't struggle alright." She said gently.

It was only then that he realized that he couldn't move his body at all, he seemed to be restrained.

"Wus happened?" he said thickly.

"Prongs I did it, I'm sorry, you said to go to the room, I went, it took me a bit but I did and I think they were waiting for one of us to open it, your mum and dad were already inside and I let them in, I let the death eaters in." Sirius wailed.

"Sirius settle down son, you couldn't have known. You did what we would have wanted you to do, get to safety."

James eyes popped open at how strong his father's voice sounded.

"Dad, you…I thought you were worse than you were. You're…You sound ok, better than I thought…are you alright?"

"It was a trap son, I was never hurt. We holed up in there two days ago. I don't know how but they figured out the enchantments, they needed one of the two of you to get in. They sent the letter that you and Sirius received, they lured you here."

"Yes, and now we have you all. I see the littlest Potter has finally awoken. I was worried we weren't going to get to give you to our Lord, he so wants to meet you himself ickle wittle Potter, he desires your wittle Black friend there too. I was nervous that your spill down the stairs had finished you off. And we have so much fun planned. But first, I need your wands for something important."

James vision refocused at just the moment to see his and Sirius' wands fly from a side table into his hands.

"I have waited two days for you to reawake to get to do this little boy." The harsh voice said.

The boys watched as Sirius' wand swiped through the air and James' father fell to the floor screaming and writhing before their eyes. He heard Sirius' screams mix with his father's and mother's but he could only bring himself to stare helplessly.

"No, please, stop, please just take me with you, leave them." Sirius screamed.

James watched as his own wand was thrown to a masked accomplice and as it was used to crucio his own mother. The next 24 hours passed in much the same fashion. Every once in a while it would become too much and James' head injury would pull him back under. Twice Sirius was tortured into oblivion, he passed out for a few hours each time, leaving James to stare at his unconscious parents himself.

There were several times that both boys had been untied and tortured together, never losing sight of their parents' stricken faces, or the fear in each other's eyes. Even just sitting here, James felt as if his skin was tingling, sliding off his bones, he had been crucioed and cut, they had used whipping charms and stinging hexes. He was sure that he looked at least as bad as Siri, who was covered in dry blood and vomit. You could only withstand so much torture before your body betrayed you.

His mum and dad lay on in pools of blood on the marble flooring. Their eyes had not reopened in a long time, they were no longer being tortured at the moment but every once in a while one of them would let out an unearthly scream. Their tormentors had been gone for a while, James assumed they were sleeping or eating. He tried to add up the days in his head. They were in the actual library now, and they had watched the sun set a few hours ago.

From what Sirius had said he had been unconscious for a little more than two days. Two days where none of them had eaten and Sirius refused to tell him what had happened to himself or their parents during that time. If what Sirius said was reliable they had left on Friday, He was unconscious Friday, Saturday and part of Sunday. He had been awake all of Sunday night and Monday. The school had to be wondering where they were. Someone would come soon. Someone would have to come soon.

The sun rose on the old library, bringing with it the sight of James' parents lying bloodied and bruised on the floor. James and Sirius had both been woken up from their fitful sleep violently. Waking to the screams of your mother was none too pleasant.

"Well boys, today is the day that he comes to see you, today is the day that you become true purebloods or dead gutter filth like these blood traitors that lay before you."

James' face blanched, he could hear Sirius dry sobbing across the room, they had screamed so much that there was little of their voices left. He saw his father's eyes. He was awake and looking between the two boys a terrified expression on his face, terrified but determined. He was being held by the hair at the base of his neck, Sirius' wand pointed at his temple. His mother's squeak was the only thing that pulled James' gaze from his father. She was on her knees in front of him, his own wand being held to her neck.

"My boys, you will be strong do you understand me. You will fight. You WILL FIGHT." He said, his voice laced with vengeance, and fervor. "You will make it out and you will fight this malice and scorn of the earth. Do you understand me?"

Both boys nodded, pulling against their restraints, tears flowing freely down their cheeks.

"Yes sir." They said in unison, making their voices as strong as possible.

James' mother was screaming in seconds when she realized what her husband already knew. The death eater holding Charles kicked him hard in the side as what the boys took to be the head spoke.

"You are a miserable old wreck, and I want you to suffer for killing some of my greatest friends and allies, if I didn't need your son and your pathetic tag along here I would kill them in front of your eyes. I will have to settle for you wife I guess. Sirius screamed a wordless howl. James tried to rip his way free of his bonds, trying to reach his mother.

"NO! NO! Mum no, I love you, please NOOOoo!" James screamed with everything he had, every ounce of Gryffindor bravery leaving him in that instant. He felt the blood vessels in his eyes pep with his screams.

"I love you my sons, please just be happy, be happy." She cried as a cutting spell sliced into her again and again, James' own wand betraying him and killing his mother.

Charles Potter was a heap on the floor, shaking in despair. Neither, James or Sirius could pull their eyes from the desecrated body of their mother, James' by birth and Sirius' by heart.

"Now, Charles, lead auror and thorn in my side, tell your boys goodbye."

He lifted his head and looked first at Sirius and then to James, the son that was every bit of himself.

"You are brave, you are strong, you will move on and you will honor your mother, both of you. You are both loved deep, deep within my soul." As he stopped to take a breath he was enveloped by a green light rushing forward from Sirius' wand.

Sirius hung limply in his binds, shaking with sobs, unable to voice the despair that he felt. James felt as if his whole world had halted, everything that mattered had gone. He looked at his mother and felt every bit of hope leave his body, replaced with malevolence, hatred and deep sorrow. It was then that the room grew frigid, the only thing that saved either boy from feeling the wrath of the dementors that surged in was the fact that in the moment neither could remember what happiness even was. They only held thoughts of grief and righteous anger.

With the hooded terrors came a new fear, a new bone chilling voice. They both knew in an instant that this was surely the sound of their deaths. They lifted their eyes to one another. Making contact, silently speaking in a way that only they could. They would honor their father. They would certainly die, but they would die men, they would die for what was right. They would die together, side by side.

"Why gentleman it is so nice to finally meet you face to face." The smooth voice said, caressing each word. "You have eluded me before, I have come today to take you into my utmost inner circle, you will be worshiped above all. The two rightful heirs of the most prominent of families, two perfect purebloods, two men that shall have anything they desire."

Sirius opened his mouth to speak before the nightmare raised his hand and silenced him, his mouth snapping shut seemingly of its own accord, James felt his own cement shut as well.

"Manners boys, manners.. I will speak first and then, and only then will you be permitted to answer. I desire both of you greatly. As such I think we can start out on a first name basis.

Sirius Black, rightful heir to the name and to the house. I already have possession of your younger, not as talented brother. I would like to keep him, he will prove useful for breeding more purebloods. But you son, you could be one of my crowned jewels. A leader amongst this new world.

I will give you anything you desire, I would gladly do away with the idiocy that is your parents. I know how they lavished everything upon Regulus and failed to see the perfection that was and is their oldest. I value bravery and independence. You would fit perfectly into my ranks.

I will give you all the women that you would like in your bed, I know much about you. I know you like women and the pursuit of them. You can have your pick, you will build the new, stable, ferocious house of Black. I will hand everything to you my son."

He turned to James' ignoring the murmurs of indignation coming from the ranks of death eaters around them.

"Ah James. You my son are the only heir to the Potter crest. You are the end of your line. I am sorry about your parents, they couldn't be convinced and they wouldn't let me speak with you. I did not intend for you to see this though. Nor was it my intention for your own wand to be used. I shall rectify that mistake for you. Though I can sense the hatred it has instilled in your heart, I value hate, it is so much stronger than love my child.

I can give you the world my boy. You already have nearly everything that you could desire, and I know that my ways are not something you would likely fall easily into but I will have your brother of sorts. Both of them. I will acquire the werewolf Remus Lupin, he will join my ranks and I will keep him secure, safe and he will be praised among my creatures of darkness.

I know from a very reliable source that you have an infatuation with a certain mudblood. Now of course we can't have you breeding with that sort as we want purity above all, but you may have her too. She can be yours in everyway that you desire, you may consider her however you like, mistress, slave, servant, whatever you fancy. The point is, she will be yours and will be safe.

She will not perish in the purge of filthy blood and thievery of magic. Your allegiance to me will keep her safe, it will keep her alive. She will be protected under the strength of the name Potter and no one will be able to contest that. No one.

You do understand boys that the two of you are the key to two of the four most ancient lines of magic? I will have you both, I desire you both. You will answer only to me and no one else, no one will have power over you or anyone you so desire to be yours. By pledging me your loyalties you are saving everyone you hold dear and securing yourselves a place of honor in my world.

I shall unbind you and give you ten minutes to make your decision. I bid you not to try and run, it is fruitless."

When the ropes holding them to their chairs released both boys fell face first onto the blood stained marble flooring. They remained still until everyone had vacated the room. Sirius tried to stand and fell back to his knees. He made his way across the room to where James had stayed laying on the floor, he had merely pulled himself next to his mother and was stroking her hair. Tears flooding his face, he was choking on the sobs.

"Jamie, I can't run. I am not strong enough. They have done too much." Sirius choked.

James looked up at his brother, his very best friend.

"Nor can I. Nor will I. Siri they are dead because of me. They are dead because he wanted me. Lily is going to die because of me."

Sirius grabbed the blood soaked robes and pulled James up to his own knees supporting him by the elbows.

"They are dead because they fought evil. And do you think Lily would want to be the sex slave of a death eater? No matter the protection that it offered her? You know Lils better than that. I do not care what they offer me, I will fight as I know you will.

We will stand together one last time, we will fight together and die together, we will make our parents and everyone else proud of who we are and what we stand for. We will bring light to this war, we will ignite a fire, we will be the beginning of the end of this war. I know it. We will not go down quietly and we will not join him."

James looked deep into the blue eyes that he had known and trusted since he was eleven years old.

"I want to move them. I will find the strength, I don't want them used for dark acts, help me move them."

Sirius nodded in response and they both pulled all of the strength that they had left, knowing that they were using the only chance they had at escape to save the bodies of their parents. They pulled them into the panic room and James used the secret books to close the door. When he and Sirius died his parents executors would open the room, they could give them a proper burial.

Both boys remained standing barely and leaned against the solid wall. Each staring into the face of the other, trying to memorize everything about the friend they were about to lose forever.

"We will stand together." James said with conviction.

Sirius gripped his shoulder.

"Yes, we will be united now, and forever. This is what is right."

The door began to open as James spoke what were to be the last words between them.

"Together, my brother."

The silky voice spoke, seemingly straight through them.

"Why is it that it seems you have both chosen wrong?"

Sirius spoke strong and clear.

"Because, you are on the wrong side. We have chosen what is right, we will never be yours."

"Aye, I was afraid of this outcome. I knew that seeing the torture of these two blood traitors would turn you against me. It certainly was not my intention. This was all messed up, my source failed to fill me in on some things before hand and now I have lost you both."

It was James' turn to pretend to be braver by far than he felt.

"You never had us to begin with. We never would have said yes to you."

"Yes, yes, so you say. Pity, you both really would have been perfect for building the purest of populations. I have perfect pureblood witches ready for both of you, waiting to bear perfect pure children. Alas I now will be forced to see to both of your deaths and then your friend's as well. I would keep you around to see it but I prefer the less messy route to just kill you right now."

They both kept their eyes open, starting death in the face as he raised his wand above his head. They stood tall in the face of darkness, both hoping for death to come quick and their fear betraying them, both fearing that they would be the one to see the other fall. A fate worse than dying, watching the other die. He brought his wand down with such speed it was barely noticeable and as the green jet shot out the walls and very floor shook around them.

Already being unsteady on their injured frames they both fell to the ground, causing the curse to miss both of them by mere inches. Sirius grasped James wet robes pulling him close as James pushed them both back against the wall.

"When will you learn Tom? When will you learn to leave those that are under my protection alone?" A solid clear voice rang out.

James allowed himself to collapse to the floor as he breathed as deeply as he could. Sirius held tighter to James and he let every ounce of strength seep out of himself. They no longer had to fight, they did not have to be strong, they did not have to die. They were saved, he had finally arrived, Dumbledore was there.


	41. Chapter 41: Waking Up

**_Eeeeek I know I know really angsty and sad and intense…_**

**_But come on we all know that I am best at that : )_**

**_But either way, they have to die before James and Lily or they would take Harry._**

**_It has to happen and I am a firm believer that Azkaban isn't the only thing that put the haunted in Sirius' eyes. Sorry Sirius._**

**_And Sorry it took so long, my 7 year old has had a ton of events at school and_**

**_I am one of her Cheerleading coaches and our new season started and competition is only 3 months away and we have 44 girls in her age group alone..Yikes!_**

**_Oh and the baby is crawling and standing and everytime I write he goes after the TV…Aye he requires much more watching now..He is my own little James Sirius. _**

**_(you might not get that if you haven't read the ATSR saga)_**

**_I joked about naming him that and oi if he doesn't act just like my character of him…_**

**_Goodness help me._**

**_Anyhow because I am not into super long A/N and this is a lot here is your chapter._**

Chapter 41

**Waking up**

His everything hurt. Literally, there was not one part of him that did not hurt. He tried to open his eyes, this was the fourth or fifth time he had tried but every other time the darkness pulled him back under just before he could, But this felt different this time. He was tired and hurting but he didn't feel like his eyelids were weighted down like before. He pushed them open and saw a stark white ceiling. It was shadowed, it appeared to be night. It was quiet, he could only hear the soft breathing of someone near him. Where was he? Suddenly everything crashed in on him at once, his torture, Sirius' torture, his parent's torture, their deaths. He sat bolt upright, panicked and riddled with grief.

"Nooooo!" he screamed.

Several things happened at once. Someone fell out of a chair, startled. Someone who had their head resting on his bed jumped so badly that they slipped backwards off their stool, and the person he had heard breathing was in a bed beside of his, he too sat up straight, a look of terror plain on his face.

"Mum.. Mum…Dad…Sirius!" he screamed as a woman and man in white robes rushed in and tried to calm him.

"Mr. Potter. You are safe, Mr. Potter." They had their hands on him and he pulled upwards and away from them, flinching from the contact.

"No, 't touch me. DON'T TOUCH ME!" he bellowed, panicked.

"Get away from him." A rough voice growled, he saw the Dr. be pushed bodily to the side.

"Now really Mr. Black, get back in your bed." The woman chastised.

James continued to scream and try to get away.

"I said get off of him." The voice demanded.

Both healers stepped back and for the first time his eyes landed upon Sirius. He remained pulled into a tight ball at the top of his bed. Sirius pushed through the medi-wizards and without slowing or pacing himself at all walked straight up to his friend. He felt Lily's restraining hand on his arm but he shook it off. When he reached James he pulled his trembling friend into his arms talking low into his ear, though everyone could hear.

"Jamie, it's me, we made it Jamie. We are going to keep both promises do you hear me, we stood strong and fought and we will be happy. Lils is hear, Remmy is here, Pete is here and they are safe, I am safe, you are safe. They can't hurt us anymore."

Everyone watched silently as the muscles in James' body released and he fell forward into Sirius' steady arms. They sat frozen as tears poured down Sirius' face. This was the first Sirius had spoken since he was released from his medical sedation yesterday. They watched as the walls that Sirius had built around himself fell to let his friend in.

"Mum…Dad…" James mumbled through his tears.

Sirius shook his head, he didn't need to speak the words for James to understand the truth. It was then that he sagged in Sirius' arms and he screamed wordlessly into the already tear soaked hospital shirt Sirius wore. Sirius couldn't hold himself together when James broke down and his own arms began to tremble, he had been severely injured too after all and his body was failing him. Remus rushed over to help. When his hands found James' shoulders he flinched and started to pull away, fear evident on his face.

"Prongs it's only me. It is only me." He said gently.

Lily held onto Morgan's arm and cried. It was impossibly hard watching James and Sirius seem so vulnerable and scared. Sirius didn't pull away at Remus' touch but he involuntarily flinched at the contact. James stilled at the sound of his friend's voice but the tension plain as day. His entire body was clenched, ready for pain.

"Moony." James cried softly.

Remus nodded his head, he put one arm under Sirius' arm to help steady him and used his other hand to hold firm to James upper arm.

"They…they're gone." He said pitifully. The emptiness in his voice was deafening.

'I know Jamie, I know."

"Fix it." He plead with his friend.

"I can't Jamie, I can't fix this, no one can fix this."

Sirius shook with silent sobs. Lily couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't not help. She stepped to the bed, ignoring the healers and Pete's warnings. She put her hands on Sirius' shoulders. She felt his muscles clench as he turned to her and then felt them release as he completely let go of James' and wrapped his arms around her. James leaned into Remus falling into hysterics again. Listening to Remus speak gently to him through his screams.

As he calmed, Lily's tear streaked face looking at him over Sirius' shoulder registered with James.

"Lily." He said hoarsely.

When he spoke Sirius sat up and released her, Remus moved to the side made sure James was stable before he let him go. She stepped over to him and lightly ran her fingers down his face. He held very still but didn't flinch away. Her fingers were wet with his tears.

"They are going to kill you because of me." He whispered.

"No, no they won't." she said with certainty pulling him into her arms, she pushed her hand into his hair and let her hands run over the expanse of his back. Feeling the fear within him.

"They will, they told me they would, I could have saved you but I couldn't…I couldn't be one of them. I am so sorry. I am sorry."

She pushed him back so he could see her face, so he could see her own tears falling.

"Jamie, I would rather die than see you become one of them, you wouldn't be the man I love if you were a death eater. And let's be honest, you would never let them touch me. I have every failth in the world that you will protect me forever. You started that by coming back. Do you understand that?

My greatest fear James is that you will leave and die and you didn't. You fought and you came back to me. You came back. You would never let them hurt me and I know that as surely as I know that you will never leave me.

It was only moments later that the healers insisted the friends of both boys leave the room so they could examine them both, as Sirius hadn't allowed them to examine him yesterday at all. They allowed them to sit on the same bed side by side, it seemed to be the only way they would consent to being touched.

It didn't help that they were practically being interviewed about the attack while they were under examination. The minister was there, a few aurors (which made James highly upset as his father should have been the one there not Senior Crouch) but to their immense relief before either healer could even begin the door to their shared room opened and Dumbledore and McGonagall walked through.

"You will not interview these boys without my presence. As they are still enrolled in my school they are under my protection and Minerva McGonagall's care as their head of house. Unless we are here they will not be giving any interviews at all.

It didn't take a genius to allow them both to stay, the boys didn't even blink or balk to the fact that they had to be without a shirt and in hospital pants infront of their professor. They seemed to both be in a bit of a daze.

"James your leg was broken pretty severely. It was able to be healed. Can you tell us how it happened?" the Minister said gently.

"The steps, I fell down them running." He muttered.

"Can you tell me what you can remember from the point you flooed into your home?"

James' voice faltered and he started to shake. His healer held tightly to his shoulders until he jerked away from him.

Their interview took three hours, each boy telling their story, when James heard the horrors that had happened while he was knocked out for the first two days they had to give him a calming draught and were going to separate the boys for the rest of the interviews until they both refused to speak without one another.

It took four days before St. Mungo's would release the boys, they had suffered from innumerable injuries but even more than that both were traumatized beyond what they would allow anyone to help with. They would only talk to and allow their friends to touch them. If they were together or with one of their closest friends they sometimes almost seemed normal, excluding the wincing and flinching at even the lightest touch. And neither boy would touch their wands. But they refused to allow anyone else to touch them either.

Upon their release they went directly to their parent's memorial service and burial and then they immediately went back to Hogwarts begging not to be taken back to the manor, begging to be allowed to go back to where their lives were not full of fear.


	42. Chapter 42: Birthday Wishes

**_Parts of this chapter rings very true for me._**

**_Part of it I have written straight from my own heart._**

**_ High rating on this one. Solid M_**

Chapter 42

**Birthday Wishes**

James and Sirius had been back in the castle for two weeks now. Life was resuming to a semblance of normal. If normal was a quiet Sirius who rarely had a smile on his face, or a James that flinched everytime someone randomly touched him. Both boys had come back but they came back different people. Sirius seemed to be most affected by watching his surrogate parents die and seeing James tortured. You could tell when he was thinking about it, it was all over his face and demeanor. Lily was certain that he sometimes thought of the torture but he had let slip a few nights ago that it was all very similar to his old way of life so he could handle it fine. He had such venom in his voice that they all winced at the reference, Pete who had been the one foolish enough to bring it up actually recoiled in fear.

James was another story. His parents were gone and he had watched it happen. That can't be erased with any amount of time. He had been horrifically tortured. Sure as a boy he had felt a firm hand across his backside once or twice…maybe twice, as rotten as he was he wasn't often punished. Until that moment he hadn't imagined the pain another man could cause. He had never felt that kind of unending, life altering pain. He seemed lost in his thoughts and grief. And stuck in an endless circle, his body was terrified of any touch, withdrawing from anything that could cause that feeling again. But his mind and heart craved touch, well, his mother's touch, just to be held and told that everything would be alright. The two sides warred against each other, making him a twitchy nervous lonely mess. Only Sirius seemed to understand that, and he rarely left his side.

Sirius could often be found in the head boy's room at night, sleeping on the bed while the room's actual occupant was more often than not sitting against the window wall staring out at the grounds and not seeing much of anything.

This morning was one of those times. Lily walked into James' room only to find him looking out over the misty grounds, glassy-eyed. She walked up to him and whispered his name before touching him, alerting him to her presence.

"James, have you slept at all? When was the last time you actually slept?"

"Today is my birthday." He answered, completely dodging her question.

She sat down behind him and put her hands gently around his sides and let them rest on stomach, her head rested against his shoulder blade.

"I am aware." She said with a grin. "What are we doing today? Or have the boys made plans for you all?"

He shook his head.

"I am not doing anything." He mumbled.

"We have to do something James. It's your birthday."

He shrugged and laid his head back against the cold glass.

"Jamie we didn't skip your birthday last year when the Slytherins put me in the hospital we aren't skipping it this year either." They heard Sirius say sleepily from the bed.

James huffed as they listened to Sirius climb out of bed hours before what was normal for him.

"I thought we could sneak into Hogsmede, pick up some fire whiskey and supplies and spend the day in your room of requirement." He said before gripping James by the arm and pulling him to a standing position. Lily stood with him, not sure what Sirius was trying to do. James was in no place to be forced into anything.

"So, either you tell us what you want to do, or we do that, but we are doing something." He said firmly.

James pushed both of his hands through his hair, leaving standing on end.

"I want to fly, I just want to go out flying, my broom was the last gift I got from them, I want to use it today. It seems right."

"Alright, we will go flying then." Lily said before kissing his cheek, causing both boys to turn and stare at her.

"You will go flying with me? Like out on a broom?" James said in astonishment.

She chuckled at the shocked faces both of them wore.

"For your smile, I would do anything James Potter."

Sirius smiled a true smile and grabbed her up in a hug.

"That settles it, you tow are going flying for the day. And I will find Morgan and bug her." He said brightly.

James looked at him incredulously.

'What? You aren't going to come with us?" James asked.

"Nope, absolutely not." He replied.

oOoOoOoOoOoO

The sun had fully risen and James was sitting astride his broom. He couldn't explain why he was so nervous, he had flown with girls tons of times, but not this girl. This was different, this was Lily. He was so distracted that when she slid on behind him and put her arms around him he didn't even flinch.

She looked over his shoulder at through the open glass of his window.

"Are you ready?" he asked

"Ready when you are." She stammered.

He turned to look over his shoulder.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I have never been more sure in my life." She replied.

The smile that lit his face was infectious, he turned and without another word took off through the morning sky.

In those next minutes she could almost feel everything seep out of him into the open air around. This was the James she knew, this was the James she loved. He existed up here , in flight. Even when he couldn't be found anywhere else he would always be here where he felt happiest. Every sorrowful thought, every moment of fear disappeared and he became that arrogant, reckless, silly, full of laughter boy that she fell for.

She had always been afraid to fly, but James was an excellent flier. His confidence made her comfortable, secure, she leaned into him, reveling in the fact that he didn't pull away. They flew for a long time, not really talking, just flying when James lowered them to the ground. They seemed to be in a small clearing. He pulled out his wand and conjured a blanket and a fire to keep them warm. She sat down beside him as he laid on his back staring up at the blue white sky.

"It has stopped raining since the beginning of the month." He said softly.

"Yeah it hasn't rained in about two weeks Jamie."

"Oh…I missed that somehow."

"You have missed a lot lately."

He looked over at her, seeing the sadness in her eyes.

"I am sorry." He said softly.

"James, you have nothing to apologize for. You lost the two most important people in your life. You have a right to grieve. We just miss you is all, I know that you are in there somewhere, I know you are and that is all that matters, that you are there. I want to be with you, I won't leave and neither will Siri or Rem or Pete, we want to be here with you, to stand beside you. But you have to let us."

He nodded and ran his fingers down her cheek.

"I just needed to get past today. Your birthday is supposed to be spent with your parents telling you how you were born and how amazing that day was. I will never hear that story again. Never. And how can I celebrate the day I was born when the reason I was born isn't even here? No one is as happy that I am on this earth than they were. No one else cares like that." He said, dejected.

She moved so she was straddling his lap forcing him to look at her.

"I do. I care like that. James if something had happened to you that weekend and I had never seen you again, I would have never made it through. I love you James, I love you, really love you. More than anything else in this world, more than my mum, more than myself, more than air, more than magic, I love you."

She leaned in tentatively and touched her lips to his. Kissing him softly before pullning back and looking into his incredible hazel eyes.

'You know I am not going to break." He chuckled before pulling her roughly against him for a real kiss.

The intensity of it knocked the wind out of her, they hadn't kissed like this since he had left. He deepened the kiss as he sat up pulling her closer into his arms and onto his lap. She let her hands fall down his chest, she could feel the muscles tense but he didn't jerk away so she continued.

**James POV**

He felt her fingers slide down his stomach and rest at his belt, he knew that he should be pulling away but he didn't want to. He just wanted to feel a good touch, he didn't want the last touch he remembered to be one of pain. As her kisses got more and more intense he felt all resistance drain out of him. He loved this girl, he could not push her out.

He placed his arms around her and felt her shiver against him.

"Are you cold?" he asked softly.

"A little, but I don't want to stop kissing you." She said honestly.

"Let's go back to my room, we will be alone and I promise we will pick right back up where we left off."

She looked at him skeptically. He kissed her once more before picking her up still straddling him, she wrapped her legs around his waist and held on.

"Fine, we won't pick up, we just won't stop." He said with a smile, letting go of her with one arm and summoning his broom. He stepped onto it and settled her in his lap, still facing him and still kissing her. She giggled.

"You can't ride and kiss me."

"Just watch me." He said with his old cocky grin that made her melt.

As he kicked off against the frozen ground he crushed his lips to hers holding the broom with one hand and around her waist with the other. She was partially right, he couldn't kiss her lips and fly but he did manage to kiss her neck and ear, up her collar bone, and cuddled to his chest she took full advantage of her situation too. She had barely realized they were already back to the castle and in his room when she felt them tumble off of the broom onto the soft surface of what could only be his bed.

He pulled back and smiled before pointing his wand at the door and sealing it shut.

"Now where were we?" he said with a wicked smirk.

He pulled her blouse over her head exposing her bra. It wasn't there for long as he unhooked it and placed his mouth over each nipple, flicking it with his tongue. She whimpered and pressed up against him. He kissed his way down her stomach nibbling as he went and peeling her shirt the rest of the way off of her.

"James, I don't want you to stop." She panted.

He unzipped her jeans and smiled up at her.

"I wasn't planning on it."

She took her hand and held his chin, looking him in the eyes.

"No, I mean, I don't want you to stop at all. Please, make love to me James. For real, make me yours, only yours" she said huskily.

He knew his face was betraying his shock, he tried to reign it in quickly while judging her face. Was she serious or just falling for the heat of the moment?

"Please." She said softly, letting her hand run through his already windswept hair.

That was all it took to push him over the edge. He quickly disrobed her of her pants and made quick work of his own as well. She lay before him in black lacey briefs her dark auburn waves like fire around her face and cascading over her shoulders. He gripped the side of the panties, ripping them away from her body causing her to giggle expectantly.

He knew that it had been a while, she hadn't been with anyone since…well since him. That was a comforting thought. He took the time to see that she was ready, kissing and nibbling at her until she pulled him up by the hair.

"Are you done with the practice work?" he said playfully.

She nodded, her eyes hazed over with lust and need.

"We have been practicing for a while, I think we are ready to play the game."

He laughed before pressing her lips to his, he could feel himself right outside of her opening. He hesitated for only a second, he thought about asking if she was sure but he knew she was ready, as was he.

He pressed himself into her, illiciting a gasp from deep within her. She was tight around him, much tighter than he remembered, then again it had been a year now… He pushed deeper, and felt her dig her fingers into his shoulders.

"You ok." He asked, kissing her lightly as he built his rhythm.

She nodded but said nothing.

"We can stop." He said, looking into her electrifying eyes.

"No, I don't want you to stop, please don't stop." She whispered.

He nodded and let his hand roam her body while the other held him up as he thrust into her even farther, causing her to call out. He knew better than to stop, knowing that she needed time to adjust to him, to get used to him again. He wasn't rough with her at all that evening. Kissing her and whispering I love you's over and over.

They didn't carry a conversation by any means but they constantly murmured their feeling for one another and what they couldn't live without.

Hours later when she lay curled up in his arm and he looked out at the evening sky, wondering how it was that they had missed lunch and dinner and weren't even hungry, he watched her sleep. She was so perfect, and this time, she was his. Completely and entirely his. He was going to heal for her. He needed to be the man she needed him to be. He needed to be able to protect her and to love her and he couldn't do that if he was a shell of his former self. Something bad had happened, he would forever be altered in its wake. But he would still find himself amidst the rubble. He owed her that, he owed his parents that, he owed his friends that. And above all he owed that to himself. He smiled to himself as he mused, this year for his birthday he had discovered who he was meant to be, and that was the final thought before he drifted into a long peaceful sleep.


	43. Chapter 43:The Path To A Dream Come True

**_Wow 9 days with no updates I bet you all thought the worst._**

**_At least I left you on a good note right?_**

**_I know you waited forever for this, but I had to find the right words to do this._**

**_This has been LONG awaited and I needed to do it right._**

**_Sorry it took so long. _**

**_Thanks for reviews and PM's_**

**_All of them we are nearly at 200, I would LOVE to make it there with this chapter but that is 17 reviews and a lot to ask so hopefully we will get there eventually :)_**

Chapter 43

_**The Path To A Dream Come True**_

The weeks passed by quicker than any of them could have imagined. They all watched as the boys slowly reclaimed who they used to be. James found that with Lily asleep in his bed he could actually sleep. Sirius was brought back to his normal vigor as James became more normal and together they closed in their little group of friends. They became even tighter knit, understanding that one of them could be lost any day. It was rare to find one without the other. Between Lily, Marleen, Alice, Morgan, James, Sirius, Remus and usually Pete there wasn't much quiet time during those last few months that they were able to walk the sacred halls of Hogwarts.

James had accompanied her to her sister's wedding, an event that neither of them had been prepared for. He looked stunning in his muggle attire and was amazed at Lily in her dress. They danced through the night and giggled at the sheer size of Petunia's new husband. They surprisingly made it through without incident though James could barely stand the way they were treating Lily.

They sat NEWTS together, laughing at the stupid mistakes they made and at the fact that somehow Sirius had set his tentacula loose on his examiner. James and Remus both walked away with what they were certain was all O's and though Lily had been close to a nervous collapse for the final month they were all near positive that she had achieved the same.

She was surprised shortly after when and OWL brought with it news of her acceptance to St Mungo's trainee healer program and the dates that she would be starting. Her mum was so proud when she wrote to tell her and James had told anyone who would listen that he was dating a future healer.

James and Sirius were both elated the morning that they received their letters welcoming them into the prestigious folds of the auror academy. Lily was sitting on the sofa in the Head's Common room watching James reread the letter and expectations again when she finally decided to ask the question that had been nagging her all day.

"You wanted to be a quidditch player." She stated.

He looked up at her, a bit confused by her random statement. "Huh?" he said in response.

"You said, you wanted to be a professional quidditch player, why did you apply for the Aurors?"

"Oh." He said, comprehension of a long ago conversation dawning on him, he paused as he let the words that were spoken over a year before wash over him.

_"And that James Potter was arrogance." She huffed._

_"No, that was confidence, quidditch and school work are the two things I am certain of. I am good at it and I am not going to pretend I am not." He shrugged._

_"Ok, ok, we can come back to your arrogance later. What do you want to do after school?" she asked._

_"I want to play quidditch. I love it. I love the way it makes me feel when I fly. Like nothing can hold me back, like it is only me and the air and nothing anyone says can hurt me. _

"Do you remember when I told you that I wanted to play professionally?" he asked, she nodded slightly, how could she ever forget the night of their first kiss? "Well I told you that I felt safe in the air and free. I can't spend my life trying to escape something that is planning on hurting the people that I love. I can't be happy and joyous on a broomstick with you all in danger. I want this to end and I intend to be a part of that reason Lils. I want you safe."

She stood and walked over to the chair he was sitting in. She took his face in her hands and kissed him gently.

"I just want you to be happy." She said.

She watched as a moment of astonishment seemed to flash before his eyes. His mind fell back into that day of honesty that had truly been the beginning of their lives together, he remembered her words to him,

_"Ok, how about you? What does the brilliant Miss Evans want to be when she is a grown up witch?"_

_"It is stupid. You will think I am dumb. Lets just say I will be a healer that is what everyone thinks and what will likely happen right?" she replied._

_He noticed her pink cheeks when he glanced over at her. He rolled to his side to face her, the sight of Lily Evans snuggled into his bed and pillows took his breath away a bit._

_"I thought this was a truth game. I told you, even though I am pretty sure you think it is dumb to want to be a quidditch player." He said._

_She sighed and pulled a blanket over her face._

_"I just want to be a mum. That is all. I want to have a perfect baby with the perfect guy and be happy. But it isn't going to happen, and I shouldn't want to be a mum when women just want to have careers and stuff, right?"_

He looked like suddenly everything had fallen into place, she saw his wand flick but didn't think anything of it as he stood and wrapped his arms around her before pulling her into a breath defying kiss.

"Lily, as long as I am with you I will be the happiest I have ever been."

She smiled brilliantly but it faltered as he dropped to one knee and caught a little box midair before opening it and holding it out to her.

"You are the only thing that will make me happy Lily. You, you are all I need. I know you are already accepted to be a healer and I know that you are so proud and I am too, but I would love it if you would let me make your dream come true. Just say yes one more time. Will you marry me?" she watched the tears sparkle unshed behind his eyes and let hers flow straight down her cheeks, pooling on his gray slacks.

He was pretty certain that his heart was about to fall out of the hole it was beating through his chest as she remained silent staring at him and then to the little box holding the brilliant gold and diamond ring.

"Lily, please answer me. Will you spend the rest of forever with me? Be my wife Lily Elise Evans, make a perfect family together with me, be an amazing mummy, just say yes, that is all you have to do to make it happen, marry me." He watched as she nodded her head nearly imperceptibly before speaking in a whisper.

"I, yes James, yes of course I will marry you."

**_Thank you so so so much for reading this!_**

**_It was just a random muse I had based on lots of no strings attached hookups of Lily and James and it turned into so much more._**

**_I am ending it here b/c I don't think I can write anything as perfect as the wedding and the birth of legacy. I can't see it any other way._**

**_Plus the title of this story tells it all, this was all about Lily discovering that James was the key to her dreams. He actually was marriage material. He really was._**

**_Thank you again for the support and everything._******

**_Soon I will be posting the prequel to Legacy. _**

**_Before A Legacy_**

**_It will cover from Year one until the beginning of second term year 6 right up until_**

**_James receives the letter._**

**_I hope you liked this and I hope you like it too!_**

**_Thank you again! You are all fantastic readers._**


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